Servant of Chaos (Forgotten Gods Book 3)

by Laura Greenwood

  Eventually, the strokes began to fade and I found myself able to breathe properly for the first time since the ordeal had started. And yet, every breath pained me. It shot through my system and reminded me of what had happened.

  "Take her to my room," Seth instructed two of his guards. "She thinks she knows pain now, she'll think again then."

  I shuddered, dreading what I knew would happen next.

  "No!" Abu shouted, striding forward.

  I looked up at him, begging him with my eyes not to continue.

  "I invoke the sacred protection of Ra on this woman."

  My eyes widened. What was he doing? Whatever it was, I could have told him that it wasn't a good idea.

  "What?" Seth hissed.

  "I invoke the sacred protection of Ra," Abu repeated.

  "I heard you. I just want to know what you think you're doing." Seth approached my god, the most threatening expression imaginable on his face.

  Abu didn't flinch. He stood his ground and glared right back. "Rhodopis is under my protection now," he said slowly, drawing out every word.

  "Fine. Do what you want with her now." Seth spat in my direction, but I did nothing about it. I was too weak from the whipping to even try. "Just remember that once you're gone, she's still mine."

  He turned on his heels and stormed off to his chambers. Hopefully, someone would think to send him some of his favourite wine. Or one of the goddesses who liked him would be brave and go to him.

  "Are you alright?" Abu collapsed down next to me, being careful not to touch my wounds.

  "I've been better," I croaked. "Do you realise what you've done?"

  He nodded. "I'm pretty certain. But I saw the look on your face, and I just couldn't let it happen."

  My heart melted at the words, even though I knew I should be guarding it more closely. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome. Now let's get you back to my room, and we can do something about the wounds."

  Despite myself, I nodded. At least going back to his room was less dangerous while I was injured. Nothing would happen between us if that was the case.

  At least, I hoped that was true. He had such a strange effect on me that I wasn't sure if I could trust myself completely.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  "THIS IS GOING TO STING," Abu warned me.

  "It can't hurt worse than it already did," I pointed out.

  "I wish you hadn't done that." The cloth touched my skin, and I let out a hiss. Sometimes, the healing was worse than the pain itself, no matter what lies I told myself.

  "And then we could have all watched an innocent be whipped instead," I said through gritted teeth.

  "You're an innocent too," he countered, mopping over my wounds again.

  I couldn't believe I was lying on his bed. Though it looked just like all the other rooms in Seth's compound, there was still something special about this one. And not just because it had Abu in it.

  "Not as innocent as you want to believe. I've stood and watched people be hurt." My thoughts rested on poor Sophia for a moment. She didn't deserve to be here, and yet I'd said nothing when Charaxos had arrived with her.

  "Circumstances can make people hard."

  "That's just an excuse people tell themselves when they can't bear the thought of what they've done," I shot back.

  He chuckled. "You don't have much faith in people, do you?"

  "You wouldn't either if you'd seen the things I'd seen. Life as a slave isn't exactly one of luxury."

  "Other than the obvious, no one seems too mistreated here," he tried.

  A bitter laugh escaped me. "That's what you think."

  "Is it not what it appears?"

  "When it comes to the higher gods, is it ever?" I asked.

  "I suppose you do have a point there," he admitted. "Tell me what it's really like here."

  "There's not much to tell. If you prove yourself to be useful, you can just about survive well enough. It took me a few hundred years to work out what I needed to do. But I was lucky. Some of the girls that come here don't even last a week." A shudder rippled down my spine at the memories. I'd seen too many lives taken. Not just by Seth, either. Some had taken their own instead of living any longer under his rule. I'd considered joining them more than once.

  "The harem?" he asked.

  "Yes. Though that's not even the worst fate." It went unspoken between us that the worst was what he'd just saved me from. I didn't want to think about what I'd be doing right now if he hadn't stepped in. My sanity wouldn't be able to take it.

  "I'm sorry," he whispered.

  A short laugh escaped from me. "If you didn't do it, then you have no reason to be sorry for it." Bitterness crept into my tone, but I couldn't help it. "But I wouldn't worry. There's so much pain in this temple. We're used to it."

  "Why don't you just run away?" he asked.

  "To what? Would any sane god or goddess take me when they know I've been one of Seth's playthings?"

  "Has he touched you?" A darkness I hadn't expected entered Abu's voice.

  "No. Not like that." Until today, Seth had never looked at me that way. And I wasn't foolish enough to believe that today's lust was for me. It was for the pain he caused and nothing more. "But I am his slave. I have the marks of it." And not just the ones currently marring my back, though they'd no doubt heal into ugly scars. I was lucky I wouldn't be able to see them.

  "Of course they would. Do you see them turning you away?"

  I sighed. "That's not how it works. They all had slaves at one point, didn't they?"

  "Yes."

  "Did you?"

  "Once. Long ago. But I didn't care for the practice and freed the man soon after acquiring him." He pulled the cloth away from my back and dipped it back into the cool bowl of water next to him.

  "Did he thank you for that?" I asked, trying to turn but being stopped with a gentle push from Abu's hand.

  "I don't know. I tried to find him after..."

  "He was probably killed," I said flatly. "That's what normally happens to slaves that run away. I've seen it happen." More times than I cared to think about. I should have stood up for my fellows then, and not waited until now to save someone. But it was too late for regrets. All I'd probably have done was shortened my life.

  "Why would he be killed?" Abu sounded horrified, and part of me wanted to take my words back as a result. But he deserved to know the truth. To understand what a slave was risking if they ran away.

  "When you have slave markings, no one gives you a second to talk. They act first and never dig into whether or not they've done the right thing."

  He fell silent. No doubt letting my words and what they might mean in the long run sink in.

  "I had no idea."

  "Of course not," I bit out. Nobody bothers to learn about the lives of slaves. I used to believe it was because they didn't think about it. But I'd come to realise that it was more of a case that they didn't want to know. Condoning slavery was a lot harder when they knew the truth about it.

  "They don't practice now," he said weakly.

  "I'm sure some of them do," I countered. "I'm here, aren't I?"

  "You shouldn't be," he said firmly, wringing out the cloth as if it was Seth's neck. "You're a goddess. You should be in a temple of your own, with priestesses to say your name and lend you the power of belief."

  A bitter smile twisted across my lips. "Please stop with the goddess bit. I'm not one. I've been alive for thousands of years. I'd have shown at least some signs of it by now if I was."

  "Thousands of years is just my point."

  "No, it isn't. Demi-goddesses live just as long. Isn't that what most of the priestesses are?"

  He pursed his lips, clearly wanting to argue but not having the words to. I didn't blame him. I could be stubborn when I wanted to be.

  "I've known both kinds all my life, and I'm telling you that you're a full-blooded goddess."

  "Then who are my parents?" I demanded. "What am I the goddess of?" I trie
d again. "Nothing. I'm the goddess of nothing. If I'm one at all." My voice cracked. How could he do this to me? To anyone? He was putting so much hope into my heart, and I didn't normally allow that. I thought I'd squashed out my capacity to dream millennia ago when I realised there was no way to escape without condemning myself to an even worse fate.

  "You can be the goddess of dance..."

  I laughed, but it soon turned into a wince when the movement pulled at the wounds on my back.

  "I think you'll find Hathor has that one covered," I countered.

  "She's fairly easy going. I'm sure she'd share."

  I turned my face away, mostly to hide the tears threatening to fall. I didn't want to admit to him that I'd dreamed for years about Hathor being the one to save me. I'd always felt an affinity towards her, as if I'd been meant to serve her instead of the god of chaos. But it wasn't because we were the goddesses of the same things. Far from it. I was an underling at best.

  "Rhodopis..."

  "Please don't," I managed to get out.

  He sighed and went back to tending my wounds. His soft hands danced along my back, leaving me feeling more refreshed than they perhaps should. I didn't want to examine the reason why. Not when he was helping heal the damage Seth had left behind.

  That was always the thing with him. So much needed to be fixed because of him. He wasn't a god anyone should want in charge of anything, let alone the world.

  Abu didn't say anything else. He just kept dabbing at my back and wringing out the cloth when it got too sodden with blood.

  A little part of me was saddened by the fact this moment was the highlight of my long miserable life.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I LAUGHED, shocking myself in the process. I had no idea how long it had been since I'd laughed this way. I glanced down at the platter of fresh fruit, not wanting Abu to see the flush on my cheeks. It was only a matter of time before he brought up leaving Seth's temple and going with him when they left. I didn't know how to explain it better to him that I was a slave, that wasn't part of my choice. Unless Seth set me free, I couldn't leave.

  And he wasn't going to do that.

  "Do you want some wine?" Abu asked, his fingers playing along the handle of the pitcher.

  "No, thank you." I didn't drink wine in the mornings. I didn't drink it much the rest of the time either, but I thought it was more polite to say no.

  "Water, then?"

  "Please." I looked up, meeting his concerned golden eyes.

  He smiled, no doubt trying to put me at ease, and filled my goblet.

  I picked it up and swallowed it down, trying to clear the sudden dryness in my mouth. I'd never spent the night in a man's rooms. Not that anything had happened. I'd fallen asleep as soon as he'd tended to my wounds.

  "Did you sleep at all?" I asked him.

  He nodded. "The chair is surprisingly comfortable."

  I glanced at the bed, trying not to let the guilt get to me. He knew what he was doing when he stopped Seth's whip. And when he brought me back here. I'd done nothing wrong.

  But then, why did I feel this way? Maybe it was the way his gaze tracked me as I moved, even something as simple as me lifting a date from the platter between us.

  I almost laughed again. I was on a breakfast date. That was something I'd never expected. Or at least, not for several thousand years. Back at the beginning, I'd dreamed of someone coming and whisking me away once we fell in love. Maybe this was my chance for that.

  Glancing up at Abu, I caught his gaze. Oops. I should have realised he was looking and not fallen into his trap.

  "You have a beautiful smile," he whispered into the tense air between us.

  "Thank you," I murmured.

  "I'd say you should do it more often..."

  "But you know how I'll answer," I responded, feeling a little bit more at ease.

  I leaned in and picked up a slice of orange.

  Abu's hand twitched, almost as if he wanted to reach out and touch mine.

  Something I don't want to name comes over me, and I reached out to clasp his hand with mine.

  He startled, but relaxed seconds later, a broad grin settling over his face.

  "Won't you consider coming with me?"

  Ah, there it was.

  I shook my head. "I can't."

  "Isn't there some way you can convince Seth to free you?"

  This time, the laugh that fell out of me wasn't an easy carefree one like before, but more like the bark of a dog. "There's one way to leave Seth's service, and you saw half of it yesterday." The bitterness shone through each of my words.

  "What about buying you."

  The words fell into the air. I wasn't sure whether to jump up and kiss him, or be horrified he'd even suggested it. A part of me was just so indifferent towards my enslavement.

  "I don't think there'll be anything you can offer that he'll accept." Especially after my stunt yesterday.

  "Can I at least try?"

  I pursed my lips. Did I want that?

  Is there even a choice?

  I put myself on Seth's radar last night, and that won't end well for me.

  "Yes," I whispered, meeting his gaze once more. "If you want to."

  He placed his free hand over mine and squeezed lightly. "I do."

  CHAPTER TEN

  DREAD SETTLED in my stomach as I walked back out into the compound. I wasn't sure what was about to happen, but somehow I knew that something bad was going to happen, even if I couldn't work out what that was.

  Whispers came from around me as the rest of the slaves and members of Ra and Seth's retainers looked at me. Even if most people hadn't known who I was before, they certainly did now that I'd stepped in to stop someone from enduring a punishment. I wasn't certain if that was a good thing or a bad one.

  I searched every face I passed for Sophia's. She'd be able to tell me what was happening with the rest of them and what they all thought of me. It was better to be prepared in knowing what they were saying about me than just letting them run around with it behind my back.

  I wished I'd let Abu come with me after all. There was something to be said for having backup. But I'd thought it was best if we didn't walk around together today, even if that was partly so I could spend some time getting my feelings in order. His desire for me to leave when Ra and the rest of them did was both tempting and terrifying. I wasn't convinced I could trust the rest of the gods to offer the protection he claimed. I was one of Seth's slaves, he'd no doubt hunt me down and mutilate me.

  "Don't go in there," one of the harem members warned me. Nerves warred over her face, as if she hadn't wanted to speak up.

  "Into the courtyard?" I asked, pointing needlessly to the huge arch in front of me that led to a square shallow pool surrounded by marble paving stones. It was one of the places I loved the most.

  "Don't go." She shook her head, a haunted look filling her eyes. The other harem girls behind her whispered to one another but didn't say anything loud enough for me to hear.

  A frown knitted across my brows. What was going on? Why were they acting so weirdly about this when I was walking around about to start doing what I did every other day.

  "I'm sorry," the woman whispered.

  "What?" Now I was getting even more confused.

  "No one dared to stop him," she added.

  Horror filled me. What had Seth done after Abu had stopped him from taking me? I knew it couldn't be good. Not when the harem girl was acting this way. They never talked to me unless they had to, most of them were completely uninterested in the things I did with my time. Mostly because they were too focused on their own troubles.

  Instead of heading their warning, I sped up, my bare feet padding against the floor. I wished I had my sandals, but I'd gone straight from the dancing to Seth's whipping pole, then Abu's room. No one had given me a moment to go and retrieve them.

  Silence replaced the whispers, making it even more unbearable. Deep down, I think a part of me knew what to expect
when I finally got into the courtyard, but nothing could prepare me for seeing it with my own eyes.

  I'd seen some bad things in my time in this compound, but Sophia's blank eyes staring at me from the middle of the pool with blood swirled through the water was something I never imagined possible.

  Rage bubbled in my gut as I took it all in. Hot tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I forced them back.

  I didn't need anyone to tell me what had happened here. Seth was to blame. He was always to blame.

  By doing this, he'd changed everything. Now I just needed to figure out what I was going to do with that.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  THE MOONLIGHT SHONE through the vines of the garden and illuminated the carved stone walls. I'd spent an entire day trying to come up with some way of getting my revenge on Seth, but nothing seemed good enough for what he'd done to Sophia. She'd been the only person who'd approached being a friend to me in years, and I hated that I'd lost that.

  "Rhodopis? Is that you?" Abu whispered.

  "Yes."

  He stepped out of the shadows and tiptoed towards me. "What's with all the secrecy?"

  "I made myself known to Seth," I answered honestly. "Now everything I do is going to be monitored and reported back to him. One toe out of line and..." A lump caught in my throat, stopping the rest of my words from escaping. He probably knew already. I was certain the news had spread like a sand storm through the temple.

  "Is this safe?" He looked around, as if expecting someone to jump out of the bushes.

  "As safe as it can be," I responded. "Though that doesn't say much."

  He stepped close to me and reached out a hand, hovering it over the small of my back. I longed for him to touch me properly, but he didn't.

  It was probably for the best that neither of us get any more attached. If we did, then him leaving with the rest of Ra's party was going to cause us both pain and stop either of us from moving on in our lives. Well, it would stop him from moving on. I doubted I had any moving on to do. I was still going to be trapped here. I'd always be a slave, and I'd still have a target on my back, none of which seemed like a good thing from where I was standing.