Finding Home

by Maddie James

  “The sex was good, wasn’t it?” he asked coolly. “Was I good enough for your little experiment?”

  “You know it wasn’t like that.”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know what I know. You tell me. What was it like?”

  Jane cringed. “It was like heaven. It was just like I remembered.”

  Graham heard the tremulous quality of her voice. She raised her chin a notch higher. He stared at Jane’s upturned eyes, catching her defiant stance and look of vulnerability. The look gut-punched him and he swallowed hard. Did Jane love him? No. That’s not what he wanted. He didn’t want to be loved. He didn’t need the burden. What he needed was a better sense of direction and more control over his life.

  He rubbed his aching head. The look in Jane’s eyes plagued him. He’d seen that look before. After graduation. When he kissed her after their first time together and she asked him to drive her home. It was a look he couldn’t handle again. He dropped his hand.

  “You’re leaving,” she said in a flat voice. “I saw your suitcase by the door.”

  “Yes.”

  Some strange compulsion moved his hand to her cheek. It caused his fingers to stroke the line of her jaw. He lifted her chin. Propelled by a force outside his good reason, Graham lowered his lips to taste hers. Gently at first, he probed with his tongue, and was gratified when she responded by a sweetness that caused his heart to crumble.

  “I’m sorry I was so stupid,” she said against his lips.

  “We all do stupid things,” he replied before again savoring her with his tongue.

  “Like changing places with a twin?”

  “Like not believing in ourselves.” Graham cupped her face with both hands.

  Jane trembled in response. Her lashes swept over her eyes. In the split second of quiet, he simply reacted. For once in his life, Graham didn’t plan anything. He had no answers. Only raw emotion and that told him not to leave this woman again.

  “Jane Smith, I love you.”

  “But I’m not like Dawn,” she said in a small voice. “I’m not sexy.”

  “You’re more than just sexy. You’re the whole package, everything a man could want.”

  It was true. Jane was all he wanted. Since returning home, he tried to convince himself otherwise. He told himself his career was important. In the blink of an eye, in the response to a kiss, his outlook changed. He no longer felt out of control. In fact, he felt in command of his life for the first time in many years.

  “Will you marry me?

  “What did you say?”

  “I asked you to marry me.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes full of disbelief. “You must be crazy.”

  “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

  “Hamlet, Act Three.” She grinned a little, as if unsure.

  “So, what say you, Ms. English teacher?”

  “I say the lawyer has yet to make his case.”

  Graham stepped back and put his fists on his hips. “You’re the most stubborn woman I know. I’m trying to declare my intentions. What more do you want?”

  Jane cocked her head. “I want to hear it again.”

  “Jane, will you marry me? I’ve learned I can’t be happy without you. I need you.”

  Her eyes glimmered with amusement and hope, but she stood her ground, refusing to move. She had a right to be skeptical.

  “And,” he prompted, his throat constricting, “your answer is?”

  “Yes!” she screamed. “I love you too!”

  Graham barely had time to open his arms again before Jane bounded the few feet between them, slamming into him and knocking him backwards. He circled his arms around her as they toppled to the floor and Jane showered him with kisses.

  Maybe the town could use another lawyer. Maybe he would finish his book here and write another.

  For sure he had found his home again and it was here with Jane in Legend, Tennessee.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  “We’re as ready as we get, Coach.”

  Jim nodded and looked down the line of booster busses that would follow the team’s bus to Larkstone High School. The community, as always, was prepared to travel with, and cheer the Dragons on to victory. This year though, after word about the horse crap on the Dragon’s field got out, there was a lot more determination in the eyes of players and fans alike. Even some of the buses had large banners that had less than nicely worded slogans for the Larks on them. His personal favorite was:

  Looks like someone already beat the crap out of Larkstone!

  We’re just here to clean up the field!

  He wished he could get as fired up.

  Suzie wasn’t speaking to him because he’d told her the theory that Lilly was a murderous hooker was ridiculous. She was in such a huff she’d told him to stick a football someplace he’d prefer it didn’t go—even if that had been logistically possible. Then there was the matter of the object of their disagreement. Lilly hadn’t been seen or heard from since he’d taken her back to the B&B the day before. And to top it all off Kyle Sanders had arrived with a black eye and an attitude that had nothing to do with the impending game.

  Jim glanced back once more and watched as all eighteen Dragon cheerleaders stood in line by their bus. Sissy, as usual, was talking a mile a minute, and just loud enough to be heard over the buzz of activity that always preceded an away game departure. He heard, as he was certain had been Sissy’s intent, Kyle’s name mentioned a couple of times, but he didn’t have time to deal with high school drama. He had his own drama to worry about.

  He was certain Suzie was mistaken. She had to be. He hadn’t been willing to let a woman in his life, for reasons other than pleasure, in a very long time. Now that he had, and was certain he was in love, he couldn’t fathom that the woman he wanted sold her body to other men. No, it wasn’t even a possibility. Lilly was bold in some ways, yes, but her heart showed when she didn’t think he was looking and what they had shared and almost shared together had been new for her. He’d stake his home on it.

  “Hi.”

  Jim couldn’t hold back his smile of pleasure. No way was Suzie right this time. “Hi.” He pulled Lilly into his arms as bus engine after bus engine roared to life. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

  Lilly hugged him back, hard. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I got tied up with Martin McClain. I rented my own place today.”

  Jim nuzzled her hair as a spark of irritation towards Suzie surfaced. “I’ve gotta go now. Maybe you can show me where it is later.”

  Lilly laughed. “It’s empty tonight, but I’m moving in tomorrow. Fortunately it’s partially furnished. Maybe after tomorrow morning’s practice?”

  Jim nodded. Suzie would just have to hold class with Broomhilda without his help. That would teach her. “Sounds good. “Are you taking one of the buses to the game?”

  Lilly glanced back. “Can I?”

  Further irritated with Suzie for withholding something as simple as transportation information, he nodded. “Yes. Go about three back and tell the driver, Lucy Rider, I want you on her bus.”

  He kissed her hard and long and only pulled back when nearly all his boys hung out the bus windows cheering him on. “For luck.”

  Lilly smiled at him, with what he could only call heart. “For luck.”

  ****

  Soft drinks were in her hair, popcorn, too, if she wasn’t mistaken, and people, some she had seen before and some complete strangers, were screaming in her ears, shaking her with excitement, and nearly knocked her down the steep bleachers when the clock wound down to zero and the Legend Dragons wiped the field with Larkstone’s players.

  She searched the now crowded field to locate the man who had molded and shaped these young men into an incredibly talented team and found him in the middle of a team hug. She wanted to be there with him. To hug him. To congratulate him. To kiss him until they were both dizzy with it.

  She laughed aloud, uncaring that anyone would know the
absolute joy she felt. The buzz of excitement was as much inside of her as all around, a new and pleasurable experience. She smiled and hugged strangers as they passed by, many of them whispering that it was good to see the coach so happy, that they would be stopping in as soon as her shop opened, that they were so delighted she had joined their community.

  To be so accepted, to be so known so soon after moving to Legend was a new and wonderful experience too. That the town already considered her and Jim a couple was weird, but strangely okay. She’d never been this known anywhere she had lived. She hadn’t been able to open herself up to strangers. She couldn’t become a part of anything because of the dangers involved. And because of the possibility of having to move on without a trace. It would have been unfair to have gotten close and then deserted people who considered her a friend.

  This time was different. She really believed the past was past. That this was her place, her time to live. It felt completely right to be among people who embraced her into their lives and wanted to make her a part of their community.

  It didn’t even matter that it was because they loved Jim. Because she did too. And for the first time in her adult life she loved being herself. Not a shadow of who she was. Not the remains of what might have been.

  Lilly pulled herself back from her introspection only to find the sexy grin she had so come to crave directed at her. The stands were nearly empty now and still she stood, staring at the man she wanted like she had never wanted anything in her life. He leaned over and whispered into the ear of the assistant coach she’d seen the other day before heading her way.

  She kept her eyes on him as he climbed the bleachers, taking high-fives and handshakes along the way. A very heavily made-up woman leaned into him but he ignored her completely as he made his way straight to Lilly. “I want you, tonight.”

  Lilly threw her arms around his neck. “I’m yours.”

  They stared into each other’s eyes. His radiated triumph and hunger.

  “We have a very large audience watching.”

  Jim pulled her closer, nearly meeting her lips with his. “Do you care?” he asked.

  Lilly shook her head. “Not at all.”

  The slow slide melted into a full on kiss that tilted her world. She didn’t know how long they stood there, buried in each other, lost to the rest of the universe. Finally the thunderous applause penetrated and Lilly slowly pulled back. “I don’t want to ride the bus back.”

  Jim rested his forehead against hers. “Me either.”

  He raised his head and looked around, as did she. Many of those who should have already headed to their cars, trucks, or the buses stood watching them; the women with romance in their eyes, the men with knowing grins. She didn’t care, not one bit, and smiled at them all. “Does anyone here have a car we can borrow?”

  Jim turned to her with a startled laugh.

  “I do. I’ll ride with Betty.” The unknown man reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He pitched them towards Jim. “Get it back to me tomorrow, Coach.”

  Jim nodded his thanks. “Sure thing, Clark. See you at the feed store.”

  “Thanks,” Lilly called at Clark’s back. He turned and nodded, then spun back to head towards the parking area with the rest of the Dragons’ fans. She turned to Jim. “Looks like we have a ride.”

  “Looks like.” Jim shook his head. “You impress me, Miss Lilly.”

  She laughed long and hard as she settled against his side, tucked beneath his arm. “Me, too. Come on. I believe you owe me a touchdown.”

  Jim nodded. “Yes Ma’am, I do believe I do.”

  ****

  The trip to Jim’s house was a blur of touches and kisses, of boldness and blushes. Once there they made their way to his room where they stood looking at each other. Lilly closed her eyes, then opened them again as she felt Jim’s hand slide so gently down her cheek. She turned her face into his palm and placed a tender kiss there. He lowered his head and skimmed her lips then began to sway slightly.

  It was a dance.

  Soft music filled her head making her dizzy, disoriented, needy. Softer lighting showered them from the star-filled skylight overhead. A gentle touch of Jim’s hand to her back, then hip, then a slide upward where he pulled her head to his once more in a kiss so deeply honest it brought tears to her eyes and took the starch from her knees.

  A gentle turn. A backwards shuffle. Then there was no floor as she felt herself lifted into strong arms, pulled against a steel hard chest. He smelled of something dangerous, a faint mixture of cologne and the man himself. She inhaled deeply, loving the scent that was exclusively Jim.

  He lowered her onto his bed, his own feet still firmly planted on the floor. “Are you sure?”

  She reached up and touched his face, loving the feel of newly emerging beard. “More sure than anything.”

  He lowered his head and placed a single kiss on her lips before moving to her feet. One by one he removed her slippers. He bent then and kissed the arch of each foot. She jerked her foot away, laughing. “I’m ticklish.”

  Jim smiled. “Good information.”

  She couldn’t wipe the grin from her face. “Be nice.”

  Jim licked her right instep causing her to jerk her knee to her chest. “Not fair.” She rolled over, and up to her knees, on the opposite side of the bed. She challenged him with her eyes as she slowly unbuttoned her black blouse to reveal a blood red underwire bra. She kept her eyes locked to his as she slowly slid it from her shoulders to fall to the bed.

  “Uh-uh!” she said when Jim made a move to join her. “You,” she said, pointing her finger at him, “stay there.”

  Jim seemed to self-debate before nodding once. “Your show, sweetheart.”

  Lilly grinned and slid the straps off her shoulders before reaching behind her to unhook the bra. She let it fall to join the blouse, watching his face as his gaze wandered to her exposed breasts. She rose to her knees, adjusted her position for balance, and unsnapped the row, one by one, of buttons down the front of her jeans.

  Tingles of excitement urged her forward as his focus now followed the movements of her hands. She placed them inside the hip-hugging waist band and slowly slid the jeans down to her knees, revealing a black and red lace thong.

  Jim’s gaze flew upward to her own. His chest heaved once, his exhale audible. “Nice!”

  Lilly bit her bottom lip. She had never done anything so bold in her life. She backed away more, slid off the bed, and let the jeans fall to the floor.

  He left his spot and moved toward her, around the foot of the bed. “Very nice.”

  Lilly held up a hand. “My show, remember?”

  Jim shook his head, his steady panther-like movements bringing him closer. “No, ma’am. My turn.”

  Lilly screamed and jumped back on the bed with a laugh but Jim caught her ankle before she could get away. He fell on top of her, rolled her over, and stared into her eyes. Lilly’s smile melted at his serious expression. “Game over?”

  That slow slide of a smile coupled with a slight nod stole her breath. “Game over,’ he confirmed. He cupped her jaw gently with one hand, his other sliding to cradle the base of her skull. In slow motion he lowered his head until their lips were only an inch apart. “Serious,” was all he said before taking her lips in a deep, drugging kiss that caressed, cajoled, enticed, and scattered what few functioning brain cells she had left.

  She reached up and cupped his jaw, her other hand grabbing first his hair then ran down his back to his hips. She pulled his Dragons coaching shirt from the waistband and slid it slowly up his back. His lips released hers’ long enough to pull the shirt over his head before he snagged it and flung it across the room.

  When Jim began the decent to her mouth again, Lilly stopped him by flattening her palms and splaying her fingers over and against his chest. At his curious lift of a brow she traced the ripples down his incredibly tight tummy to the single button of his slacks. Lilly watched him watch her
as she unbuttoned and unzipped the taut khakis then ran her hand over the newly exposed cotton-covered bulge, making Jim inhale sharply. “These need to come off.”

  Jim moved back from her without a word, his focus on her alone as he slid off the bed to stand at its side. He pushed off the khakis and boxers in one motion. Her heart thumped against her chest, time and again, as she rose to face him.

  He was beautiful…every hard inch of him. His well-maintained, large muscles were lightly dusted with fine curly hairs, then thicker, darker hair at the juncture of his sex. His arm and chest muscles were not the only body parts that were large and hard. Lilly licked her lips as her eyes sought his. “You are in great shape.”

  Jim made his way back to her on the bed. “Thanks. So are you. Beautiful, in fact.”

  She swallowed. “I don’t have much experience at this.”

  A look of relief flashed over Jim’s face. “Good.”

  She had little time to ponder his reaction before he took her lips and with them all thought. His hands were everywhere, touching, molding, cherishing. His lips followed those hands, or took other equally wonderful paths as he started at her mouth and moved down, inch by inch, until nearly all of her body was on fire.

  He moved slowly, methodically, increasing her desire, pulling moans and growls of need and frustration as he paid homage to body from face to neck to breasts. Moisture filled her eyes even as laughter hitched her breath when he so sweetly touched one spot on her tummy only to tickle another with lips and tongue. She sought his head with both hands when he reached the soft curling hairs south of her navel. “Wait,” came out breathless.

  “No.”

  Lilly chuckled. “I’m not sure.”

  “I am.”

  And she was, too, only seconds later as he clasped both thighs and held her still as he lowered his head to taste her center, then delved in with gentle bites, suckling, sharing the magic of his tongue. A hum built in her head with the intensity of her desire, a desire so painful she couldn’t help but arch into it. Jim held her immobile, continuing his increasingly wild assault of her core as she fought against the aching need building inside. The hum grew louder with each restrained breath until finally she couldn’t take any more and crash after crash of sensation had her bucking against him, screaming his name.