Within

by Rachel Rae

“Please have a seat,” he said, motioning his hand to the nearest table. We complied with his request and waited for him to begin.

  “Krystle will be fine as long as she takes her meds correctly, which by the way, we have upped the milligrams. We’ve also done some tests and her brain activity shows signs of continuous activity, even when she’s asleep. Do you all notice anything unusual about her? The way she acts at times?”

  “Do you mean like multiple personalities?” Tony asked.

  “Yes sir, around those lines.”

  “Well yes, she has those kinds of troubles at times.”

  “Okay,” he said, writing on a piece of paper attached to a clipboard. “So there is a history of this in the family, I assume.”

  “Yes,” I said, clearing my throat. “Actually, our mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia years ago.”

  “I see and what about yourself?” he asked, looking up from the board.

  “What about me, sir?”

  “What about your illness; haven’t you’ve been diagnosed with the same?” he asked me directly.

  “Yes, but I have always been able to control mine in ways others can’t. I'm perfectly fine. And another thing, how do you suppose we get an adult to take medication that she knows she should be taking anyways?”

  “Well, that’s kind of what I would like to talk with you about. Krystle needs a lot of help and I believe we can do that for her. Now I’m not saying that she’s crazy, but the professionals at Cypress Park Mental Hospital can assist her with getting well.”

  “I don’t know about that Dr. Geronimo, we’d rather her be around family. A change like that will only set her off even more, and she’ll refuse anything you try and give her.”

  “I would like to speak more in depth about it before you and her father agree or disagree. When is he coming?”

  “I’m already here, I’m her father!” Tony barked.

  “Exactly!” I yelled.

  “So you’re Brandon Reaux?” he asked, pointing at Tony.

  “No. No I’m not; I adopted Krystle from my sister like, a couple of days after she was born,” Tony said, looking from the doctor to me.

  “That’s right, and those documents were filled out properly and were supposed to be sealed!” I exclaimed.

  “I'm sorry, but it seems as if maybe you all missed a step to make that solid. She was born here at West Houston Hospital, am I correct?”

  “You are correct,” I snapped.

  He took a piece of paper out of a manila folder attached to the back of the clipboard he was holding; then slid it across the table to us.

  “It says here that Brandon Reaux is the father,” he said, pointing at Krystle's birth certificate. “Unfortunately at this time, with him not being here, I can’t go any further with this conversation.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Tony yelled. “I am her father; we followed proper protocol, fuck that damn paper Doc!”

  “Sir, according to this paper, you haven’t,” he said, pulling out another sheet of paper from the folder.

  Tony closed his eyes and then rubbed his face with his right hand.

  “Okay, can you give us some time?” I whispered.

  “Sure, take the time you need. I know this is upsetting, but please folks, just know I’m doing my job and what I feel is best for her. I can’t release her home or to the hospital, without clarifying with her birth father,” Dr. Geronimo said, scooting the chair back from the table and stood, collecting his papers and walking out the room.

  “How the fuck did we miss a damn step and just now find this shit out, Courtney?”

  “I don’t know, hell; your guess is as good as mine, Tony, goodness!”

  “This is ridiculous!” Tony said, pacing the floor.

  “Tony, you know as well as I do that Brandon is not going to speak with us about the welfare of Krystle. He couldn’t care less; she killed his son, regardless if she’s biologically his, it will mean nothing to him.”

  “Maybe he will; we don’t know that. We have to try. She needs to go to that hospital; she’s not getting better.”

  “Do you hear yourself? We’re trying to sit down with a man we haven’t spoken to since, I don’t know… a hundred and sixty two years to try and convince him to do what?” I yelled, out of breath.

  “Whatever that doctor needs him to do, Courtney! Don’t you get it? We’re trying to save Krystle!”

  “But who saved Bishop?” I asked, putting my head down on the table. “You said it yourself, had you stopped her from going that night, you could have saved him.”

  “Don’t put that shit on me like that, Courtney!”

  “I’m sorry; I’m not trying to do that,” I said, lifting my head back up, “We’re both upset; we’re better than this.”

  “You’re right, but what do we do next? I guess we’re stuck. Brandon probably wouldn’t answer the phone, even if you tried to call.”

  “I’m going to go to his house; I know he still lives there,” I said, looking down at my hands.

  “I’m going with you then.”

  “Tony no, this is something I have to do. Stay with Krys,” I said, standing up and walking out.

  I couldn’t bring myself to go that night after I left the hospital. To be honest, I didn’t even know what or how I was going to ask Brandon. I didn’t even know how he was going to take me popping up to his house, trying to discuss Krystle, but it had to be done. I thought about calling several times, but every time I started to dial 713-433, I’d hang up before I could finish dialing. It took me two days to gain enough courage finally to drop by his house.

  I knocked on the door, and then stepped back.

  “Who is it?” Brandon yelled from the other side of the door.

  “Court,” I said hesitantly.

  After I said my name, there was silence, until I heard the slow unlocking of the door and him opening it. Brandon stood before me still looking the same, except with salt and pepper hair; he looked baffled and confused as we both stood there.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, breaking the silence.

  “I have a problem.”

  “We’ve been had a problem, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

  “I know, Brandon. Can I please come in?”

  He looked behind him then back at me, opening the door a bit more to let me in. I walked past him and stood by the door until he shut and locked it.

  “It’s been a long time,” I said trying to make little conversation.

  “Obviously not enough. What do you want, Courtney? I hope you didn't come here to change my mind about your daughter.”

  “Our daughter, Brandon. Ours.”

  “Our,” he laughed. “Get the hell out of here with that, Courtney, for real. You made your own choice. Our daughter. You gave her away to your brother, because you wanted to focus on your career you had, remember? You disappeared, so there is no such thing as ours. That’s your brother's child.”

  “Brandon,” I said softly.

  “Don’t Brandon me. What did you come here for?”

  “First, I want to apologize for what happened to Bishop; it should have not gone that way.”

  “I know that’s not what you came here for, damn near a year later,” he said, walking away as I followed behind him closely.

  “Some of it, yes.”

  “Well, stop beating around the bush and tell me what you want, because regardless, I still plan on getting her put away for a long time.”

  “I need you to come down to the hospital please.”

  “Shit… for what?”

  “To talk to the doctor about sending Krystle to a mental hospital; your name is still down as the father and I can’t do or sign anything without having you there.”

  “Oh, I’m not doing that,” he said nonchalantly.

  “Brandon please,” I begged.

  “Your daughter, your problem; she killed my son and the only reason she isn’t still in jail is because y’all bailed her out!
”

  “Brandon!”

  “Courtney!” he said, opening the refrigerator.

  “All I ask is for you to come to the hospital and listen to what the doctor has to say, and sign whatever it is he needs you to sign. You certainly don’t owe me any favors, I know that, but I need your help.”

  He stopped fumbling through the fridge, pulled out a beer, opened it with his teeth and then took a swig. “It’s always been about you, hasn’t it? Nothing’s changed.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked, putting my hand on my chest.

  “It’s always been about Courtney and what she wants to do. You're selfish; always have been. With the kind of people your family is, I’m not shocked she turned out to be a murderer.”

  “Watch your mouth,” I growled.

  “You watch yours. My son is dead. Mine! And for what? For nothing; you got your nerve to come knocking at my door with some bullshit like this. I ain't helping with a good got damn thing. She’s on her own, if you counting on me for anything. I’ll see all y’all asses in court!” he said, taking another drink.

  I shook my head in agreeance and stared at him before speaking. “Right, but remember one thing, when I took her and gave her to my brother, she was a baby, you can’t fault her for something she had no control over. Also why you talking all that shit, what happened to Bishop she had no control over either; Krystle is sick.”

  “Now that’s one thing we both agree on, she is really sick,” he said taking another sip of beer.

  “No stupid, she’s schizophrenic with a multiple personality disorder. So whether you want to believe it or not, she didn’t want to do anything to him, she loved Bishop. Yeah you had one son and I'm sorry that happened to him, but you also only have one daughter and if you don’t help her she’ll be lost too.” I said walking out of his kitchen towards the front door.

  “News flash, Courtney!” he shouted from the kitchen, “I lost one child, my only child; losing someone I barely knew or know, holds no significant value to my life!”

  “Fucking right,” I said, opening the door, exiting and then slamming it behind me.

  Chapter Sixteen

  KRYSTLE

  My mind was still slightly clouded when I’d awakened days later. I sat up in a panic, looking around briefly. “What… What happened?”

  “Don’t worry about that right now,” Aunt Courtney said, standing to the left side of the bed, stroking my head.

  “Everything will be fine, I promise,” my dad said, standing at the foot of the bed. “I’m glad you’re up; now you can take your medication the doctors been wanting to give you since you came in,” he smiled.

  “Can it wait please? I just…” I said, looking to my right to see a man standing beside the bed. “Bishop?” I began to weep and then reached out my hand to him. He was hesitant at first, but I didn’t care; I needed his touch again.

  “Please,” I cried, still holding my hand out towards him. He grabbed it, squeezing it just a little. “Bishop, I’m sooo sorry,” I said, pulling his hand towards my cheek.

  “Krys—” my dad began.

  “No, it’s fine; let her talk,” Bishop said with a straight face, still looking at me.

  My dad looked upset at Bishop's response, but Aunt Courtney stepped over, patted his shoulder and said, “It’s okay, Tony, this is probably what’s needed.”

  I turned my attention back to Bishop and then smiled, shaking his hand. “I’m not a good person; I have different people living within me; that’s beyond my control. I know I tried to kill you, and I’ll be forever sorry for that. I know you’ll never forgive me for that, but I’m eternally grateful you made it through.”

  Tears rolled down his face as he squeezed my hand a bit tighter, but then let go.

  “Krystle, that’s Brandon,” Aunt Courtney said.

  “My dad?” I asked.

  She didn’t respond; she just turned away.

  “Yeah and Bishop’s,” Brandon responded.

  I cried even harder than before, now at a total loss for words. At first, I couldn’t take my eyes off him because of whom I thought he was. I’ve seen him times before, but I could not remember him looking this much like Bishop. Immediately, I became ashamed.

  “I know nothing I will ever say could ever make up for what I did. I could never apologize enough.”

  “I prayed and asked for an open heart, before coming here. I asked if I could be granted a forgiving heart that allowed me to face you and now, seeing you…” he stopped and took a deep breath; then began speaking again. “Nothing you can ever say or do will ever take away what I feel for you as a person. You are my flesh, but never have you been my child; my child is in the ground six feet deep.”

  “Can you forgive me?” I asked, tears rolling down my face.

  “The hand I just held; your hand… is the hand of a murder. I will never forgive you,” he said, balling up his face as tears begin to stream down his face, as well as mine.

  “I’m sorry,” I cried as he walked past my dad and aunt, who still stood at the foot of my bed with their mouths open.

  “Not as sorry as I am.”

  “That was a bit too harsh,” Aunt Courtney said, stepping a few inches towards Brandon.

  “Real fucking harsh,” my dad said, walking in front of Aunt Courtney.

  “I thought I could forgive her and I can’t; it’s that fucking simple. I ain't here for this ‘I want you back in my life’ bullshit or to make amends. I shouldn’t have ever come in this damn room no way. I should have just stuck with what I came here to fucking do, which is to sign the papers to get her locked up in that mental hospital where she belongs.”

  “Is that why y’all brought him here?” I asked, looking from my aunt to my dad. They said nothing in response to what I asked; I felt the rage inside me beginning to boil over.

  As I looked from Brandon, to my dad, and to Aunt Courtney, my eyes zoomed in towards my father. A man that hates physical confrontation now looked like he was about to pop. Even though I was angry with them for what I’d just heard, Brandon was just being a flat out ass to my parents and I couldn’t hold it in. With every word he spoke, I felt myself drift deeper and deeper into anger. My surroundings turned black and all I could see and focus on was Brandon. The voice that came from me, I knew was not my own; I couldn’t stop it nor did I try.

  “You are the problem and always have been,” I said, letting up down the bed rail, pulling my legs to the side of the bed, letting them dangle.

  He looked to the left of him and then the right, I assumed he was looking at my dad and Aunt Courtney, but I was fixated on him and him only.

  “Don’t look around now, bitch, I’m talking to you!”

  “You can take your deep ass voice somewhere else with that shit; you don’t intimidate me! Murderer! Courtney, Tony, one of y’all need to talk to this girl before she says something that’s gon’ make me go off,” Brandon said, taking a few steps backwards.

  I laughed hysterically, standing up and snatching the IV’s out my arm.

  “You see, Brandon, the one thing you’ve underestimated was me… And so did your son.”

  “Krystle!” I heard Aunt Courtney call out.

  I ignored her and took about three steps closer towards Brandon. “You fail to realize I’m crazy. At first, I didn’t accept it, but when I think about it…” I said, hitting my left side temple with my pointer finger, “I mean really think about it, I understand I can’t fight it.”

  “Get back in bed, Krys, now!” I heard my father yell.

  “Shut the hell up! It’s over; your reality for Krystle to be the sweet innocent girl is gone,” I laughed.

  They stood there quiet for a moment and then everything went black.

  “Don’t do this, fight against it,” I heard FiFi’s voice echo in the darkness.

  “I can’t stop it,” I heard my own voice tell FiFi.

  “It’s too late, Krystle, Akira took over; you let her win,” FiFi said, appearing besid
e me.

  As much as I pushed, I couldn’t get back through to myself. I was helpless, stuck on the inside, listening out to Akira laughing a hearty, evil laugh.

  “Krystle, this is the last time I'm going to ask you to get back in the bed.”

  AKIRA

  “Krystle is gone,” I growled

  “Oh hell no, she is crazy! Y’all need to call a damn nurse!” Brandon yelled.

  “You call her,” I laughed, taking more steps towards Brandon.

  “If you’re not Krystle, then who are you?” Courtney asked me, taking a few steps towards me with her hands out.

  “Do you even have to ask? Krystle made it seem like you were the smart one.”

  “You’re Akira, aren't you? I recognize your voice.”

  “You got it,” I said, turning my attention to her and smiling. “You know, a few days without her meds really turned her into a new person,” I said, throwing my head back, laughing.

  “Where’s Krys, Akira? Even FiFi?”

  “Don’t play into this, Courtney,” Tony said.

  Again I laughed, ignoring Krystle’s dad, still looking at Courtney. “What do you want with any of them? All you ever did was ask about me; now guess what? I’m here,” I said, putting my arms out.

  “Fight through it, Krys!” Courtney yelled.

  “Fight through it,” I said, mocking her. I saw Brandon trying to creep his way towards the door to leave, so I ran past him and stood there.

  “Did you really think it was going to be that easy?” I asked, locking it as he backed away.

  “Akira?” Courtney asked.

  “WHAT!”

  “Just talk to me okay?” she asked, taking a few steps closer towards me.

  “Courtney, what are you doing? Back up,” Tony pleaded with his sister.

  I snickered, because there was no way she thought she was about to con me into anything. I’ve grown from when she knew me; I was stronger now, much, much stronger.

  “I know what I’m doing Tony, chill.”

  “Do you? Huh Courtney?” I said, walking back to the bed, grabbing the IV needles and then holding them tightly in my fist. “You don’t know me! You don’t remember!”

  “I know you. I know exactly who you are, Akira.”