RECYCLED MEMORY

by Richardson, SH

  For our love.

  And for our future together.

  “My treatments…” I took a moment and cleared the boulder-sized lump in my throat. “My treatments caused some short-term memory loss, and I… I was no longer testing at genius level. My father refused to accept that I wasn’t the exceptional daughter he wanted me to be and kept trying to force his agenda. I decided I’d had enough. I’d learned at the rehabilitation center that I’d wanted medical school for all the wrong reasons. It was never really my dream, just a way to get my parents to love me and a means to compete with the golden princess. I was still quite capable, just not willing to sacrifice more than I already had. Harvard wasn’t that thing worth fighting for anymore. I wanted something different out of life,” I ended on a shrug.

  “So, you struck out on your own,” he replied. “Short hair, sassy mouth, and tits to die for,” Marcus teased.

  “Well, I already had the tits, but that pretty much sums it up, tough guy.” I smiled, then got serious. “None of that was your fault, Marcus, just a bad patch that thank God is over now. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I wouldn’t change what happened given the chance; it made me a stronger person, one I was always meant to be.”

  I waited for his strong arms to hold me.

  For his smooth skin to warm me.

  And for his possessive kiss to consume me.

  “I loved a girl once,” he started, “fucked up and left her to become a soldier, thought I was doing the right thing. Turns out I was wrong. Do you think I could ever get her to love me again?”

  “Hmm, not sure. She might be really pissed at you. Women are known to hold grudges.” I rose from the edge of the bed and approached him slowly. “Give me one good reason why you think this girl should take the leap?”

  Marcus reached for my hand and held it over his beating heart before he hoisted me in the air by my waist. I looped my arms arounds his neck and stared helplessly into his eyes while my legs dangled off the ground. I felt the outline of his hard cock through his jeans, and I stifled a moan that threated to break loose from my closed lips. Slowly and steadily, he walked us backwards toward the bed and laid us down gently before finding purchase between my outspread legs.

  “I loved her as a boy.” He smiled down at me. “Pain in my ass followed me around everywhere with her crazy red hair all over the place. Used to find that shit in my morning cereal.” I giggled at the silliness of his embarrassing story, but we still had yet to talk about MacCabe.

  “Marcus, I really think we need to—” He kissed me hard on the lips to stop me from talking.

  “Loved her to the very core of my soul when I became a man. She was my world. My whole fucking heart,” he forced on a sigh.

  Jiminy Cricket, now I was a blubbering mess of free-flowing tears. There was something in the way he searched for my eyes through the shadow of the moon. It was our only source of light shining above us and not nearly bright enough to see much of anything. His strokes to my face and hair were harsh, as if he were desperate to commit them to memory. An image he’d seen a thousand times before was somehow different tonight. The muscles in his back and shoulders under my fingertips were stiff, when initially, he’d seemed completely relaxed. After everything we’d been through, did he truly doubt the depths of my feelings for him?

  “You have absolutely nothing to worry about, tough guy.” I stroked his stubbled cheek with my thumb. “That girl would be a fool not to fall in love with you again.” I placed a chaste kiss on his smirking lips.

  “A fool, huh?” He breathed a little easier. “What if you’re wrong about that? What if she hates my fucking guts and wants to cut my balls off?”

  “If that stupid bitch can’t get her shit straight, I know the perfect replacement. A woman who adored you as the boy you were but fell in love with the man you are. The man who kept his promise to return from war and fought like hell to do so. I’d love him more with each passing day, till the years of absence and pain faded away into nothingness. You would be mine to cherish for all the days of our lives.”

  “For all the days of our lives,” Marcus rasped, and for the first time that night, he averted his eyes from my view. I felt their loss immediately and knew right away he was hiding something from me. Something important. Marcus’s solemn mood was replaced with a hunger, a need he sought to relieve in unencumbered haste once he removed our clothing. I was impossibly wet by the time he slammed into me. We groaned in unison when he filled my pussy to the hilt and waited for me to adjust to his size.

  “They’re smiling down on us, baby. Buck, Nan, my parents,” Marcus whispered against my lips as he surged forward deep inside me. “They’ll watch me fuck you and rest easy knowing that I was loved.” He rutted deeper. “Till the very end of my life.”

  “Marcus?” He appeared so far away.

  “I love you, Maribel. Always remember that.”

  “And I love you, tough guy.” I arched my back, drawing him deeper inside me.

  “Thank you for coming back to me.”

  I woke the next morning to an empty bed and Mace Fox watching over me from across the room. Marcus was gone, he explained, and I had no choice but to follow him out to his truck while we waited for the rest of the women to arrive. He was in charge of taking us to the mountains, from where we wouldn’t be coming back until he’d received word that it was safe enough to return. So, there we were. Pissed off and worried out of our minds, with not a damn thing we could do about it. Fucking Buck and his bullshit honor code. That shit was going to get my man killed and possibly the others. I’d finally gotten him back, and there was no way in hell I’d allow him to be taken away. It was all I could think about while I sent up a silent prayer to all those who’d left this earth before us to look out for my tough guy.

  Please hear me.

  I can’t live without him.

  FORTY-FOUR

  Marcus

  I WATCHED FROM A secluded area in the junkyard as Fox and his boys took Maribel away to safety. I remembered that similar scene when it played out eight years prior, and my chest constricted painfully with guilt. Forcing her to leave without knowing the real reason why for the second time? That shit was beyond fucked up but completely necessary. I’d studied Maribel as she slept for hours under the watchful eyes of my loved ones. Freshly fucked and sated, she took my goddamn breath away. I made the hard choice to keep her in the dark; it was better for everyone, especially for her. If she’d known the facts surrounding the deal I made with MacCabe, she never would have left. It was my job to protect her from that shit, to safeguard her fragile heart from the possibility that this time, I might not be coming back for her. Our last night together was my chance to say goodbye; the right way this time. I fought against the pounding of my beating heart to keep my shit in check long enough to watch them pull away. As much as I wanted Maribel safely in my arms where nothing could hurt her, I loved her enough to let her go.

  “Less than eight hours before MacCabe gets here, Mem. We need to prepare.” Range and the others found me easily enough. They knew the yard as well as I did, maybe better.

  “I still say this is fucking bullshit. There has to be another way,” Sebastian groaned.

  “Been through that shit, brother, not going there again.” I hated having to take that tone, but it couldn’t be helped. I needed him on board.

  “I think we should—” Max tried before I stopped him with a raised hand.

  “I need to talk to Buck first, and I don’t want company while I do it. Stay at the yard until I get back. Won’t take long.”

  I didn’t wait for them to reply; they couldn’t stop me from leaving. I jumped on my bike and sped off toward Oak Lawn Cemetery, a place I’d avoided like the plague since coming home. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to pay my respects; I’d just needed to stay far the fuck away from death for a while. I’m sure that old ball buster didn’t hold it against me. Buck knew the score, that I needed time to get my head sorted; wa
sn’t like he was going anywhere. He had little use for pussy talk or men who didn’t know how to beat back the burn when shit got tough. My transition into civilian life had been rocky as fuck and definitely not my finest moment, but I’d survived. My battered soul was finally free enough to visit the man who took the place of my father and gave me the life Nan wanted me to have.

  I parked the bike close to the grave site and took a seat over by Buck’s final resting place. The afternoon was a perfect mix of warm air and clear skies as far as the eye could see. The peacefulness of the landscape made it easy to imagine him sitting beside me, crotchety as all get out and mean as a copperhead snake. I spoke openly to his headstone and from deep within my heart. There were things to say and very little time to say them.

  “How you doing, old man?” I ran a hand over the etched words and took a deep breath. I heard his rough voice as it echoed through my head.

  Glad you made it back alive, boy. Had me fuckin’ worried there for a minute

  “Yeah, well, came close a few times, but I pushed through.”

  Always knew you would, boy. Too hotheaded not to. We shared a rare chuckle.

  “I don’t have a lot of time, Buck. Shit’s going down at the yard, and I need to get back.” There was no need to tell him what the “shit” was; he already knew. There wasn’t a patch of crab grass growing in that place that he didn’t personally oversee. Alive or dead.

  “Not clear on how you did it, but I wanna thank you for the way you helped out Maribel.” I envisioned Buck shaking his head while he tried to spin the truth. “Now, before you start denying it, I saw The Devil’s Raptors tattoo on her boss, Nipsy. Know he was part of your crew, so save the bullshit. You went against my wishes, you stubborn old bastard… But I’m damn glad you did.”

  Always liked that girl for you. Pain in my nut sack, but she was no pushover, that’s for sure. Looked out from a distance, is all. Wasn’t nothin’. She never needed me for much else. Girl’s a fuckin’ pistol, Buck grumbled, then sobered quickly. What you gonna do now, boy? Hope you got a fucking plan and are not just winging shit. You know the rules. Strike hard, strike fast, and don’t stop till your enemy is lifeless in a pool of his own fuckin’ blood. In my mind, he stroked his graying beard encased in rubber bands and waited for my reply.

  “What do you think I’m gonna do, old man?” I smirked to myself. “I’m gonna save the fucking day, just like you taught me.”

  Ain’t much difference between a hero and a coward, Marcus. Remember that. Damn proud of you, boy. Damn fuckin’ proud, son.

  I stood from the grave site and dusted off my jeans. I’d said all I came to say, and it was time to leave. I allowed my imagination to grant me one last look at the man who’d saved my life, who’d taught me how to live honorably, and who’d loved me like his own. His image faded into the distance, but not before his lips moved with the prevailing question he never failed to ask.

  What. Are. You. Fighting. For. Boy?”

  And then he was gone.

  _______________

  “Fox said he’d check in as soon as they made it to Buck’s place. Sure is taking him a long-ass time,” Range offered with a deep sigh. He missed his wife, and it hadn’t even been three hours since they took off toward the mountains.

  “As long as Ashley didn’t scratch out his eyes and piss in the sockets. She was seriously in full bitch mode this morning, and that was after I bent her over the kitchen sink,” Sebastian added.

  “Let’s hope she had better sense than that,” I sneered. “Last thing I need to be worried about is them not making it safely. You feel me?”

  The boys and I were going over a few details before MacCabe’s arrival. Needless to say, shit wasn’t going well. When I got back to the yard from visiting Buck, I’d found the three of them huddled around one of the storage bays looking a hot-ass mess. Sebastian was pacing back and forth, Range was in a love-sick daze, and Max was wiping down his M4 that was already clean enough to see his reflection. We’d been tripping around each other for the last hour, neither one of us having the balls to say what we really wanted. I’d admit we’d never faced this sort of opponent before, but that didn’t mean we had to act like a bunch of bitch made pussies either. We didn’t know much about them, but they certainly didn’t know shit about us. That gave us the advantage, and I’d be goddamned if I wouldn’t use that to our benefit.

  “Look, we got less than four hours until they get here. Once the cars pull into the yard, lock the gates behind them so no one else can get in. Make sure all the lights are off except for the ones closest to the circle; don’t need the rest. Once they step out of the cars, I’ll need you, Sebastian, to cover long range with your bow. Max, you locate which car is holding Odie, secure the perimeter until the end of the fight, then I want you to get her ass out of there.” I heard “Copy that” and continued.

  “Range, I’ll need you on me, brother. If shit goes bad …” I started.

  “It won’t,” he growled with conviction.

  I powered on. “When the fight is over, whatever the outcome, clear this place out and hold MacCabe to his word. Odie is to be released, and Maribel is paid in full, you got that? She is the end game and the only thing I give a fuck about, the only thing that matters.”

  Range wanted to balk, to fight me on my demands, but it was of no use. I’d said my piece and meant what the fuck I’d said. He’d learn to forgive me one day. We fell into an uncomfortable silence, the four of us, brothers from as far back as we could remember. We’d shared in each other’s biggest achievements; getting laid for the first time, learning how to drive, and finding true love, as Buck had intended for us all. I looked into the eyes of their concerned faces and knew deep down in my soul that no matter what, we would always be tied together. With that thought in mind, I embraced them in my arms and drew from their strength.

  I would need it before the night was over.

  FORTY-FIVE

  Maribel

  THANK GOD.

  After three hours on the road, we finally pulled over at a rest stop to use the bathroom and stretch our legs. The unbearably quiet ride plucked at my nerves to the point where I was two seconds from throwing myself out the goddamned window. The mood in the truck was making me antsy, and my imagination conjured up all sorts of weird scenarios, all of which involved Marcus lying dead in a ditch somewhere. Mace flat out refused to turn on the radio when we asked for the umpteenth time along the way. The oversized pinhead said he didn’t want to hear any chick music while he drove the truck, something about ruining the speakers with pussy love lyrics. I resorted to kicking the back of his chair in order to get him to stop; it was either that or piss in Ashley’s suitcase. Either way, his ass needed to pull the hell over. Mace insisted on a quick pep talk to all us women before we were allowed to walk the ten feet toward the ladies’ room.

  Talk about bossy.

  “You got five minutes,” he barked. “If you gotta shit, you need to hold it. Cabin’s just down the way a piece, and we need to hurry up and make it there before we lose light. Don’t talk to no one, none of that selfie-in-the-mirror shit chicks do, and don’t even think about fixin’ your makeup. No fuckin’ time for that crap. Now, get your asses going.”

  Jiminy Cricket. What a douche.

  That was the same speech my mother used to give me before we went shopping at the mall. Mace was seriously taking this protection thing a bit too far. I mean, really, five minutes? It was a good thing I didn’t actually need to shit, or I would’ve been up shit creek, apparently. I threw Mace the biggest eye roll I could muster without fear of them getting stuck inside the sockets. I felt completely alone in my pissed-off state of mind, especially once I watched Ashley sashay over to Mace and embrace him like a long-lost lover. In my estimation, he hadn’t done a fucking thing to deserve a hug. A kick in the balls? Yeah. I could totally get behind that, as long as it was my foot that delivered the blow. I was so heated by the time we made it to the door to the ladies’ roo
m, I barely felt the tug against my arm when I tried to go inside. Ashley motioned for the rest of us to plaster ourselves as flatly against the wall as we could. As soon as Mace and the two tattoo hotties were out of view, Ashley screamed “Run!” and we took off toward the truck. We had just enough time to jump inside and lock all the doors before Mace and the others started pounding on the windows.

  “Open the goddamned door, Ashley, or I swear to Christ I’m gonna spank your bratty ass,” Mace screamed outside the glass, pointing a stern finger.

  “Open up, woman,” one of the tattooed hotties growled on my side, pounding away.

  “Fuck! We’re going to get caught. We don’t have the keys,” Haven fretted.

  “Says who?” Ashley twirled a set between her fingers with a sly grin before sticking them in the ignition and stomping the gas pedal to the floor. The truck lurched forward, forcing Mace and the others to step away in order to avoid getting run over.

  “SORRY, GUM DROP, LOVE YOU!” Ashley yelled over her shoulder, whipping the steering wheel like a Formula-One racer and pulling us out onto the road headed back toward Remington. I twisted in my seat and caught a glimpse of Mace chasing after us, arms flailing, screaming profanities. No way was he going to catch up the way Ashley drove. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

  “Holy shit, Ash,” Clover hollered. “How the hell did you manage to get the keys?”

  “Picked his pocket when I gave him a hug,” she sang. “Works every time, especially on men.

  And please don’t ask me where I learned to do that. I took a solemn oath never to reveal my sources.” She smirked.

  The girl was two cans short of a six pack.

  “Does anyone want to fill me in on what the hell is going on?” I cried. “Why are we headed back toward Remington? When did you come up with that stupid plan? Why are you driving so fucking fast? And why, for the love of God, didn’t you let me use the bathroom before you decided to highjack Mace’s truck?” I ended my line of questioning near hysterics and out of breath. These bitches had three seconds to start talking, or I was seriously gonna lose my shit.