by Ward, Alice
“I know she’s off… that’s why I’m here.” He opened the stall door and stepped inside. “I just spent the last two days with a bunch of overweight, sweaty men. I needed to see something beautiful.”
I glanced down at the colt. “He is beautiful, isn’t he?” I asked innocently.
“He’s a good looking horse, but I wasn’t talking about him. And I think you know that,” James answered, his naturally deep voice growing more sultry.
“Look, James. I appreciate the compliment, but I have work to do. You should go home. I’m sure your mom is waiting to hear all about the first overnight ride.”
I thought he’d get the point that I didn’t want him there, but James was undeterred.
“Mom’s not expecting me home until after dark,” he told me. “And that cot over there looks much more comfortable than the forest floor. What do you say we test it out… see how much action it can handle before the legs collapse?” He stared at me and I knew he was picturing me naked.
“I say that’s a waste of a perfectly good cot,” I replied. I wanted him so badly, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
“Come on, Willow. You know you want to.” He stepped closer to me and crouched down next to my chair. He pushed my hair back from my face and then lifted my chin, turning my face until I was looking at him. “I felt those spasms that rocked through your body when we were together. It’s all I could think about when I was sitting in front of the fire last night. Let me see if I can make you feel even better than last time.”
I dropped the book and studied James with narrowed eyes. “I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this, but something’s going on between our parents. The last thing we need to do is sleep together again. With the way things are going, we may be related soon.”
“Nothing’s going on with my mom and Cole,” James said with a snort. “My dad will always be the love of her life. She’d never get involved with someone else, especially your father.”
“And just what the hell is wrong with my father?” I snapped.
“Nothing,” he replied with a shrug. “But he’s the complete opposite of my dad. He’s not her type.”
“Well I don’t think she’s his type either, but that doesn’t change the fact that something’s going on between them,” I insisted. “Didn’t you see the way they were laughing together Friday night… and all of the touching?”
“Mom’s an affectionate person, that’s all. And even if you’re right, things will never get serious between them. There’s no reason you and I can’t have a little more fun.”
“I’m not interested in any more of your kind of fun,” I told him. I was about to add that Renee could do a lot worse than my dad, but James’s phone rang and interrupted me.
He pulled the phone out of his pocket. “It’s Mom… she must know we’re back already.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she was the first call Daddy made when he got to the house. I told you they’re involved. You should go. She’s going to worry now that you’ve ignored her call.”
He inhaled deeply and the muscle in his jaw jumped. I could tell he wanted to argue. Instead, he said, “Okay, Willow. I’ll leave… for now. But if you change your mind about going for round two, you know how to find me.” James gave me a cocky grin and sauntered out of the barn.
***
“Hey, sweetheart. How’s the little colt doing?” Daddy asked as he came through the front door. It was Wednesday evening and I was stretched out on the couch, reading the weekly newspaper.
“He’s good,” I replied. “I still haven’t decided on a name for him.” I folded the paper and sat up. “I put a chicken in the oven about an hour ago. It should be ready soon.”
Daddy pulled off his boots and sat down in his recliner. “That sounds good. We had eleven new calves today. That puts the count at forty-seven so far. And Patches had a filly this morning. We’ve got babies all over the place.”
“Should I stay in the Mustang barn tonight?” I asked, excited as usual about new foals.
Daddy shook his head. “Dallas is going to stay with them. You need to get some rest…”
I was about to argue, but Daddy’s phone rang. He pulled it from his shirt pocket and smiled when he looked down at the screen. I suspected that the call was from Renee.
“Hello?” he answered. His smile immediately disappeared. “Slow down, Renee. Tell me what happened… oh God, where did it happen?” Daddy jumped up from his chair and started pulling his boots back on with one hand while holding the phone to his ear with the other. “Okay, just calm down. Are they taking him to the hospital in Durango or flying him to Grand Junction?”
Hospital? What’s going on? Oh God, has something happened to James?
Whatever had happened, it was clear that Daddy was in a rush to get out of the house. I leapt up from the couch, grabbed my purse, and pulled the keys to Daddy’s truck off the wall hook.
“Okay Renee, we’re on our way. Can I bring you anything?” There was a pause while he listened. “If you change your mind or there’s any news before we get there, call me back.”
“What’s going on?” I asked as he ended the call and slid the phone back into his pocket. I tossed him the keys, desperate to know what had happened.
“James has been in an accident. He was at the Houser’s place. Their son, Paul, wanted to learn how to ride bulls. James was giving him a demonstration and he was hung up and then trampled.”
Horror filled my body as we raced out of the house. “He got on a field bull? Without any spotters or safety precautions?”
“Renee said he wasn’t even wearing his vest. Phil Houser didn’t want to wait for an ambulance, so he loaded him in his car and drove him to the hospital in Durango. Renee’s on her way there now. Phil told her that the doctors are working on him, but they haven’t come out with any news yet.”
Daddy fired up the truck and sped down our dirt driveway. “It’ll be a good sign if they keep him in Durango. Renee’s supposed to call us if she learns anything before we get there.”
“Yeah, I heard that part. What the hell was James thinking? Bull riding is dangerous enough in an arena, where there are wranglers on the ground and medics nearby.”
“I know sweetheart. But James is young, and I’m sure he thinks he’s invincible. Let’s just hope he survives this to learn his lesson.”
As we raced to town, I thought about the last time I saw James. I’d been so hateful, when all I’d really wanted to do was give in to my desire for him. I prayed that I’d have another chance to hold him, to feel his lips against mine. Life is too short for stupid games.
Daddy ignored the speed limit and we made the half hour drive in less than fifteen minutes. He let me out at the emergency room entrance and I raced into the hospital while Daddy parked the truck. Renee was the only person in the waiting room.
“Do you know anything yet?” I asked her. “Is he okay? Are you okay?”
Renee looked like she’d aged twenty years in the three hours since I’d last saw her. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and her entire body shook. I sat down next to her on the padded bench and she collapsed into my arms.
“Oh, Willow, they haven’t told me anything yet. The nurse promised that someone would be out to talk to me as soon as they’d evaluated all of his injuries. The longer I wait, the worse I feel. I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t do this alone.”
I rubbed her back as I held her. “I’m sure they just want to be thorough,” I assured her. “Let’s try not to worry until we know what we’re dealing with.” I knew it was a futile suggestion, but I didn’t know what else to say. I was relieved when Daddy walked through the door. His frantic demeanor during the car ride had been replaced by a comforting calmness.
“Renee,” he said softly. “Has there been any news?”
Renee released me and turned to Daddy. She wiped tears from her eyes as she spoke. “Cole, they haven’t told me anything,” she sobbed. She stood and Daddy
wrapped her in a tight hug.
“Shh… it’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay,” he assured her. “Sit down and let me see what I can find out.” Daddy gently guided Renee back to her seat and approached the nurse’s station. A chunky, middle aged woman with a bored look on her face greeted him with an impatient glare.
“Sir, I’ve already told your lady friend that the doctors will be out as soon as they’ve evaluated her son,” she said.
“Yes, I understand that,” he answered. He kept his tone even and gave the nurse a kind smile. “But I’m sure you can understand how worried we are. Is there any way you could check on him for us? I know we’d all feel much better if we had some idea of how much longer the doctors will need to be with him… unless you have more pressing matters to attend to, of course.” Daddy glanced around the empty waiting room and gave the nurse a pointed look.
She pressed her lips together, but her eyes softened. “I guess there’s no harm in me running back for an update… I’ll see what I can find out.” She rolled her chair away from the desk and disappeared through the double doors leading to the exam rooms.
“We’ll know something soon,” Daddy said as he rejoined us. He took a seat next to Renee and covered her hand with his.
“I don’t know what he was thinking,” she said anxiously. She was still shaking, but her tears had subsided. “I swear, if he makes it through this I’m never letting him on a bull again. I don’t care how old he is, he obviously can’t be trusted to make reasonable decisions.”
The double doors swung open and the nurse returned to the waiting room. “They’re finishing up his bandages now, and then sending him for a CT scan. The doctor will be out in just a few minutes to talk to you.”
“Thank you,” Daddy replied.
She returned to the desk and we waited in tense silence. Ten minutes passed, and a grey haired man in a white doctor’s coat entered the room.
“Mr. and Mrs. Parker?” he asked as he approached.
The three of us rose to our feet and Daddy extended his hand. “This is Mrs. Renee Parker, she’s James’s mother. I’m Cole Rogers and this is my daughter, Willow. We’re friends of the family.”
The doctor shook Daddy’s hand, then Renee’s, and finally mine. “I’m Dr. Matthews. I’m sorry we’re meeting under such unfortunate circumstances.”
“Is my son going to be okay?” Renee asked, her hands twisting in anxiety. “When can I see him?”
“James is upstairs getting a few scans,” the doctor explained. “I’m not going to lie to you, he’s torn up pretty badly. He has several lacerations on his face and chest, as well as several broken ribs. I’m certain that he has a concussion, but we won’t know the severity of it until his scans come back. I’m also concerned that he may have some internal bleeding in his abdomen. Worst case scenario, we’ll have to open him up and repair the damage.”
“Oh my God,” Renee cried, wavering on her feet. Daddy and I each grabbed her by an arm and lowered her onto the bench. Dr. Matthews drug a folding chair over and sat down directly in front of her.
“Mrs. Parker, I understand that this is a stressful time. The good news is that James’s lungs are both fine and none of his arms or legs are broken. Given what happened to him, I’d say he’s lucky that his injuries aren’t more extensive.”
“Dr. Matthews, please don’t take this as in insult, but should we look in to having James transferred to a larger hospital?” Daddy asked.
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” the doctor assured him. “If we weren’t equipped to treat him, I’d have already called for a helicopter transport to Grand Junction.”
“So it’s a good sign… that you’re keeping him here?” Renee asked.
“Absolutely,” Dr. Matthews answered. “James’s pupils are reactive, which leads me to believe that there are no significant bleeds in his brain. He also has normal cognitive function and appropriate responses to pain. His injuries will take time to heal, but I expect him to make a full recovery. I am going to admit him. As soon as he’s assigned a room, I’ll take you there to wait while we run the rest of the tests.”
“Thank you, Dr. Matthews,” Daddy said.
“You’re more than welcome. I’m going to go fill out the appropriate paperwork and I’ll be back shortly.”
The doctor left us and Daddy breathed a sigh of relief. “See Renee? James may have a long recovery ahead of him, but he’s going to be just fine.”
Renee twisted her hands together and rocked back and forth in her seat. “I don’t think I’ll feel better until I see him for myself. He said James has lacerations all over his face,” she sobbed. “His beautiful, handsome face…”
“Renee, is there anything I can do for you?” I asked, trying to draw her mind away from that train of thought. “I could go get some coffee, or make some phone calls?”
Renee shook her head. “Thank you, dear, but I’m afraid coffee would just make me more jumpy. And there’s really no one to call… no one that needs notified immediately.”
Daddy cleared his throat. “Willow, why don’t you take the truck and head back to the ranch? I want to stay here with Renee and James tonight. I need you to let everyone at home know what’s going on. Cancel the meetings I have scheduled for tomorrow and the trail ride scheduled for this weekend. I also need you to ask Mary to put clean linens in the vacant staff cabin.” He turned to Renee. “When James is discharged, I’d like for both of you to stay at the ranch during his recovery. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this on your own.”
“Thank you, Cole,” Renee said with a meek smile as she wiped tears from her eyes.
“I don’t want to leave,” I argued. Like Renee, I was anxious to see the extent of James’s injuries. The idea of his beautiful face covered in cuts and bruises was almost too much to bear. I needed to see it for myself, to be reassured that the reality wasn’t as bad as the images in my head.
“Pumpkin, I know that you’re worried about James. But there’s nothing you can do for him right now. The best way you can help him is to hold things down at home so Renee and I can be here.”
I wanted to argue, but his firm tone told me it would be pointless. “You’ll call me as soon as you know anything?”
“I promise,” Daddy replied.
I sighed. “All right… but I’m coming back tomorrow, the second all of the business stuff is dealt with.”
I took the truck keys from Daddy and reluctantly left the hospital.
***
I knocked lightly on the door of James’s hospital room and pushed it open without waiting for an answer. It was Thursday afternoon. Daddy had arrived home an hour earlier and I’d raced to the hospital. The shades were drawn, and it took a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
“Renee?” I called out softly. I squinted and saw her stretched out on a cot next to the hospital bed. James’s face was bandaged in several places and his light snores filled the room.
“Willow, sweetheart. Please come in,” she whispered. She sat up and I made my way to the recliner in front of her.
“How’s he doing? Daddy said that the internal bleeding wasn’t as bad as the doctors originally thought…”
“It’s not, thank God. His spleen and liver are bruised, but Dr. Matthews doesn’t think there’s any reason to do surgery. They’re going to monitor him for a few more days and then, barring any complications, we’ll get to go home.”
I studied James’s face, but I couldn’t make out any details. “How long has he been asleep?”
“Just a few hours,” Renee replied with a yawn. “We had to keep him up all night because of the concussion. His eyes started dilating properly this morning, so they gave him some sleeping medicine.”
“Have you had any rest at all? Do you need anything? I could go get you some food, or run to the Wal-Mart and grab a fresh change of clothes,” I offered.
“Thank you, sweetheart, but I’m fine,” she insisted. “The cafeteria food
is actually pretty good, and your dad is bringing me some clothes when he comes back this evening. I can’t tell you how much it’s meant having both of you here. I’ve felt so alone since Gus passed… I don’t think I could have dealt with this on my own.”
I reached over and took her hand. Renee was a good person and, despite the fact that I didn’t like the idea of her and Daddy together, I hated seeing her in so much pain. “We’re happy to be here,” I told her. “And I’m glad you’re going to be staying with us once James is released. How did he react when you told him you don’t want him riding bulls anymore?”
Renee let out a grunt-like laugh. “About as well as I expected him too. Even after all of this, he still seems to think he’s invincible. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. He’s been so reckless ever since his father died. I think he still blames himself…”
I looked at her. “I thought that Gus was killed by a drunk driver. Why in the world would James blame himself for that?” I asked. “I’m sorry… I understand if it’s too painful to talk about,” I added as tears ran down Renee’s face.
“It’s okay,” she said, wiping her eyes.
James stirred in the bed and we both turned to him with our full attention. His eyes remained shut and a few moments later, his snoring resumed.
Renee lowered her voice. “Gus was hit by a drunk driver. He and James argued that night. James wanted to go to a party, but we knew that his friend’s parents were out of town so we told him he had to stay home. James snuck out and Gus went to find him… that’s when he was hit. I wish you’d known James before Gus’s accident. He was such a sweet, loving little boy. But after Gus died, James put up some pretty thick walls…”
I tried to imagine how he felt and my sympathy for him ran deep. I’d lost a parent too. I can’t imagine how it would feel to believe I was the cause of my mother’s death. “Yes, I’ve noticed that he’s kind of hard to get close to,” I confessed, not knowing what else to say.
Renee nodded. “He shut out practically everyone. I’m not oblivious. Willow. I know my son’s reputation with women. Most people think that he’s a player, but I know that deep down, he’s still just a scared little boy. He’s afraid to get too close to anyone. He doesn’t want to go through the pain of another loss.”