by Ward, Alice
“You look amazing,” he told me. “James isn’t going to know what hit him.”
We spent the half hour ride speculating about what the night would hold. I was certain that telling James I was okay with the rodeos would be the final step in breaking through his walls. Matt’s expectations were much lower. He was just hoping for a goodnight kiss.
We arrived at the arena and I tried not to look too eager as we made our way to the ticket office. Matt paid for our admission as I searched the crowd for James.
“Did he say where to meet him?” I asked as we stepped past the booth.
“He said he’d be by the concess…” Matt stopped abruptly. His mouth dropped open and a look of horror spread across his face. “I’m so sorry, Willow,” he said as I followed his gaze. “Let’s just leave.”
James leaned against the concession stand with a tall, barely dressed brunette attached to his lips. The woman pulled away from him and James spotted us in the crowd. He didn’t look like a man caught doing something wrong. In fact, a sly grin spread across his face as he wrapped his arm around the buckle bunny.
“No,” I insisted to Matt. “You shouldn’t miss out on meeting the one gay cowboy in Durango just because James is a worthless ass. Give me your keys. I’ll come back and get you in a few hours.”
“Are you sure?” Matt asked, searching my eyes.
I nodded, fighting back tears. “I just want to be alone right now, Matt.”
“Okay…” he hesitated. “I’m sure I can get a ride home. I’ll call and let you know one way or the other.”
He handed me his keys and I left the arena without looking back.
***
Renee was at the house with Daddy so I spent the night in the thoroughbred barn, the only place I truly felt at home. I talked to Matt a couple of times, but ignored James’ many calls. I was too upset to sleep and after a restless night of cursing my own stupidity, I stepped outside to watch the sunrise. I stared off into the horizon, hoping that the new day would bring some sort of resolution to the previous night.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
I jumped at James’ voice. I turned and saw him a few feet away. I looked back to the sky, noticing his truck parked in the distance.
“It’s bad manners to sneak up on people,” I snapped. I didn’t know what else to say.
“I’m sorry, Willow,” he told me. “I wanted to talk to you and I thought you’d run if you saw me coming.”
“If I wanted to talk to you, I’d have answered my phone,” I told him sharply. “I’m surprised you’re up so early. Didn’t your girlfriend wear you out last night?”
“Katelyn isn’t my girlfriend,” he said patiently. “But neither are you, Willow. Look, I enjoyed our time together while I was staying here, but I never said we were in a relationship. I haven’t changed, Willow. I don’t know why you expected me to.”
“I guess all your talk of missing me and having feelings for me had me a little confused,” I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Don’t worry. I won’t make that mistake again. You can leave now. You should never have come in the first place.”
James looked down and moved loose dirt with the toe of his boot. “I came because I don’t want you to hate me. I felt like we were becoming friends. I didn’t know you expected some sort of commitment from me. I don’t want to lose what we have, even if it means we can’t sleep together anymore. I’d rather have your friendship than your body… and trust me. That says a lot.”
“I’m not interested in your friendship, or your body,” I insisted. “I’ll keep a smile on my face when we’re around other people. But right now, I just want you to go.”
He opened his mouth to argue again, but was interrupted when my phone rang. I looked down and saw Daddy’s number on the screen.
“Good morning, Daddy,” I answered. “I spent the night in the barn. I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”
James’s phone rang and he stepped into the barn to answer it.
“It’s okay, pumpkin, I figured you were with the horses. I was hoping you’d come up to the house for breakfast. There’s something I want to tell you.”
“Okay, I’ll be up in a minute,” I agreed. I was thankful for an excuse to get away from James. I ended the call and James stepped back outside.
“I’d love to stay and carry on this conversation,” I said sarcastically. “But I have to go home. Daddy wants to talk to me about something.”
“Uhh… Willow? I’ve been called to the house too. That was my mom. She asked me to come to breakfast.”
Shit… this can’t be good.
I stormed towards the house with James at my heels. I pushed open the front door, walked through the living room, and found Daddy and Renee holding hands at the kitchen table.
“Goodness, that was fast!” Renee said with a smile. “I thought you were still at home, sweetheart.”
“I was already on my way here,” James lied. “I wanted to talk to Cole about getting back to work.”
“You said you had something to talk to me about?” I asked Daddy impatiently. I crossed my arms over my chest, anxious to hear what was going on.
“Willow, James, please sit down,” Daddy directed.
We obeyed. I perched on the edge of my chair while James relaxed comfortably in his.
“Kids, you know that Renee and I have been spending a lot of time together,” Daddy continued. “I know we said we were going to take things slow, but we just can’t help ourselves. Renee and I are in love. Last night, I asked her to marry me and she agreed.”
They released hands and I spotted a huge diamond on Renee’s left ring finger.
“You’re getting married?” I asked, dumbfounded.
This can’t be happening… it’s just a dream, a terrible dream. Any minute, I’m going to wake up in the barn.
“We’re getting married!” Renee gushed.
I looked at James. His face was red and his jaw was clenched. I realized that he was just as upset by the news as I was.
“No offense kids, but this isn’t quite the reaction we were expecting,” Daddy said patiently. I looked at him and he raised a hopeful eyebrow.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I was just taken by surprise. Of course I’m happy for you,” I lied. I stood up, moved around the table, and wrapped him in a hug. After a few moments, I released him and turned to Renee. “Welcome to the family,” I told her.
A single tear left her right eye. “Thank you so much, sweetheart.” Renee hugged me while James and Daddy shook hands.
“I promise to take good care of your mother,” Daddy told him.
“I’ll hold you too that, Cole,” James replied. He hugged his mother and then turned to me.
“Why don’t we give the lovebirds some time alone to finish breakfast?” he suggested. I nodded and followed him into the living room.
My anger towards James had completely disappeared. All I could feel, all I could focus on, was the rage I felt that my dad was getting remarried.
“I don’t know how this happened,” I whispered as we collapsed on the couch.
James turned to me. His jaw was fixed and his eyes were determined. “I don’t care how it happened,” he said firmly. “I care about how we’re going to stop it.”
PART 2
BOOK DESCRIPTION
This is Part 2 of "Love All Out" - a five part New Adult Stepbrother Romance Series by Alice Ward.
“I thought I was doing the right thing, walking away from you. But I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough.”
When I caught James Parker in the arms of another woman, I vowed to never speak to him again. That vow became impossible to keep – especially when my father announced his engagement to James’s mom. I guess you really do want the things you cannot have.
Almost overnight, we had two things in common: a desperate attraction and a mutual desire to drive our parents apart.
As partners in crime, we spent more time together and my resolve bega
n to crumble. I didn’t care about his other girlfriends or our parents’ engagement. All that mattered was keeping James in my bed and finding a way into his heart.
We grew closer, in stolen moments and hushed voices. I started to feel like all of my dreams were coming true. Then fate stepped in and my dream became a nightmare. I can’t believe our chance for a happy ending is ruined.
This book is intended for a mature audience, 18+ only.
CHAPTER 1
“Willow, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” Matt asked with a yawn. “Do you need me to work today?”
I shook my head and wrung my hands, trying to take deep breaths. “I had to get away… I felt like I was suffocating.”
Matt squinted down at me and put a calming hand on my shoulder. “Come inside and tell me what happened.” He stepped out of the doorway and I walked past him into his small living room. Matt led me to his futon, but I was too anxious to sit. I paced the floor while he perched at the edge of his coffee table.
“Willow, I know you’re upset,” he continued. “I felt so bad staying at the rodeo last night. If it makes you feel any better…”
“I’m not upset about last night,” I interrupted. “I mean… I am… but something else has happened… I don’t even know where to start… I…”
Matt rose to his feet, stepped in front of me, and set his hands on my shoulders. “Just take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.” He dropped his hands to mine as I inhaled and then let the air out slowly.
“Daddy and Renee are engaged,” I blurted out, trying and failing to fight back my tears.
Matt let out a sigh of relief and the sides of his mouth curled up in a soft smile. He squeezed my hands. “Willow, that’s nothing to be upset about.”
“How can you say that?” I demanded through my tears.
Matt led me back to the futon, sat down, and pulled me down next to him. He threw an arm around me and pushed my head to his shoulder. “Shh… I know you’re afraid this means your dad has forgotten about your mom. But I also know that’s not the case. I’m sure the news came as a shock to you, but I really think you’ll be happy once you’ve had time to process everything.” He stroked my hair as I wiped the last tears from my eyes.
“There’s nothing to be happy about,” I insisted stubbornly. I sat up and looked him in the eye. “My whole life, it’s just been me and Daddy. And now I’m suddenly expected to welcome some woman into our home that we’ve only known for a few months? A woman who could very well be marrying my dad for his money!”
Matt narrowed his eyes and gave me a stern look. “Willow, that’s a pretty strong accusation. If I were you, I’d keep that thought between us,” he warned.
I furrowed my brow and stared back at him. “They barely know each other,” I reminded him. I crossed my legs and pulled a throw pillow into my lap. “And their whole relationship has been about what he can give her. It started with a job, and then a job for James, and then a place to live. Now, he’s moving her into the main house and giving her half of everything he’s worked his entire life for. And don’t even get me started on the James side of this. You realize this means I’m stuck with him for life now.”
Matt’s face tightened in a grimace. “Okay, I’ll give you that. I can’t imagine how awkward things will be between the two of you, especially after last night. Have you seen him yet? Does he know about your parents?”
I nodded and fidgeted with the strap of my boot. “He showed up at the barn first thing this morning. We were arguing when Daddy and Renee called us to the house to share the happy news,” I said, my voice oozing sarcasm.
“Did he take it any better than you did?”
I shook my head. “He wants to break them up… and he wants me to help him.” I already knew how Matt would feel about James’s plan. I looked down, unable to meet his eye.
Matt put a hand under my chin and pulled me up to face him. “Please tell me that you haven’t agreed to join forces with James,” he said firmly.
I shook free of his hand. “I haven’t agreed to anything. I didn’t have time to. We only had a few minutes alone before we had to sit down for our ‘first official family breakfast’,” I said, using air quotes to highlight my frustration. “That’s what Renee called it. James and I choked down pancakes while our parents fawned all over each other from across the table.”
Matt rolled his eyes at me. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Your dad is happy, Willow. As difficult as it is, you need to suck it up and find a way to be happy for him. You’re being selfish… and I’m not so sure it’s because you don’t want to share your dad.” He raised one eyebrow and gave me his best “you know I’m right” look.
“Share my dad with a gold digger? Damn right I don’t. Don’t you think that’s enough reason for me to hate this whole idea?” I leaned back and stuffed the throw pillow over my face, resisting the urge to scream into its softness.
“If it was the only reason… maybe,” he said, pulling the pillow away from me. “Your dad and Renee’s engagement makes things even more awkward between you and James. Maybe you never want to see him again, maybe you were still hoping for a relationship. I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure if James wasn’t Renee’s son, you wouldn’t have as much of a problem with her marrying your dad.”
My face flushed hot. Even after seeing James with another woman, a part of me had hoped we’d find a way to work it out. I knew that real feelings had developed between us while he was recovering on the ranch, and I’d let myself fantasize about James apologizing and declaring his undying love.
Daddy and Renee’s engagement certainly put a stop to that fantasy. Matt was right, but I wasn’t about to admit it. I jerked the pillow back and hugged it to my chest, shaking my head.
“With James working at the ranch, I’ll have to see him whether Daddy and Renee get married or not,” I pointed out defensively. “This isn’t about him. I’m just trying to protect my family. I don’t know why you’d think I still want anything to do with him after last night.”
Matt nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry. But better you know the truth now than later on, when your feelings for him are stronger.”
It dawned on me that Matt was going to tell me something about the rodeo before I broke the news of Daddy’s engagement. “When I first got here, you said ‘if it makes you feel any better’, and I cut you off. What were you about to tell me?”
“Oh… nothing that matters anymore, I guess. I was going to tell you that James and Katelyn weren’t at the rodeo together last night… they weren’t on a date or anything. After you left, James told me that he and Katelyn were old friends and they’d just run into each other.”
Yeah, they ran into each other all right… his mouth ran straight into her mouth.
“Katelyn didn’t sit with us or anything,” Matt continued. “Honestly, if she had, I wouldn’t have stayed. James, Lucas, and I watched the rodeo together and then James left early. It was pretty obvious that he was sorry he’d upset you.”
“He was sorry he got caught… and sorry he won’t be able to string me along anymore,” I spat. I knew I shouldn’t take my anger out on Matt, but I felt like he was defending James. “He told me this morning that Katelyn’s not his girlfriend, and then he was quick to point out that I’m not either. He asked if we could still be friends.”
Matt shifted nervously on the futon. “I hate to play devil’s advocate, Willow, but maybe you should just forgive James and forget about all of this. I’m not saying that what he did was okay,” he added quickly when he saw the look of revulsion on my face. “I’m just pointing out that if the two of you could put the past behind you, everyone’s lives would be a lot easier. I’ve seen the way Cole and Renee look at each other. There’s no way you can split them up. You and James are going to be family. You may as well make peace with that and start over as friends.”
I didn’t agree with Matt, but I was tired of arguing with him. I let out a sigh of defeat. �
��Maybe you’re right,” I said softly.
Matt leaned in and affectionately nudged me on the shoulder. “You know I’m right, about everything. You’re just too damn stubborn to admit it. You’ve got to find a way to accept Renee, and to move forward with James as friends. And for the love of God, don’t waste your time trying to split them up.”
“I promise I’ll consider all of your points,” I offered. “That’s the best I can do right now.”
“I’ll take it,” he sighed. Matt checked his phone, and I got the feeling I was keeping him from something.
“Oh my God, Matt. I’m the worst friend in the world! I haven’t even asked how things went with Lucas last night. You said James left early, but you didn’t call me for a ride. I take it the two of you hit it off?” I took Matt’s hands in mine and gave him my full attention. His blue eyes lit up with excitement and a slight blush filled his cheeks.
“We did,” he gushed. “After James left, Lucas asked me out for a drink. We ended up at this tiny little hole in the wall bar until almost two. He brought me home, and we stayed up until dawn, just talking. Lucas is smart, he’s funny, and we have so much in common. He has about twenty acres halfway between here and Aztec. We’re supposed to go on a picnic this afternoon… unless you need me to come in to work. I know you’re getting a late start today,” he added nervously.
“I wouldn’t dream of having you miss your date,” I assured him. “Before I left the house, I asked Renee to move the horses to the pasture. The weather is supposed to be beautiful this week. We’ll leave them out and let them stretch their legs, give ourselves a few easy days before we start traveling.”
I stood up and made my way to the door. Matt followed, and I hugged him goodbye before stepping outside. “Have fun on your picnic. Call me tonight and tell me all about it.”