by D. Kelly
“Hi there,” I say softly, trying to get her attention.
“My name is April, and Officer Martinez thought maybe you and I could talk a little bit. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. I’m sure she loved you so very much.”
I pass her a tissue from my purse and she wipes her face with it but it doesn’t stop the torrent of tears or sobs coming from her tiny little body.
“Do you think you can tell me your name, sweetie?”
She takes a few hiccupping sobs and holds my gaze with hers. “My name is Mia Faith Ramos.” Her lower lip quivers and more tears pour from her eyes. Suddenly, her arms wrap around me and she’s hugging me with all her might.
I spot Jake out of the corner of my eye, the concern on his face evident. I’m not one who usually brings my work home with me. I love my job, but it can be sad a lot of the time.
Doing the best I can to comfort Mia, I run my hands through her hair and hug her back. We’re supposed to be compassionate but maintain a distance if we can. Right now, Mia needs love however she can get it, and I’m happy to give it to her.
My boss has been trying to keep me from the more emotional cases, aside from the ones I’ve been on for a while. She said pregnancy hormones and emotion-filled cases don’t mix. I like my boss, but she has mastered the distance aspect of her job. I can’t. I feel everything, pregnant or not. Kids should not have to go through the things they do, and there are many sleepless nights for me because I don’t know how to create distance from the bad things in the world.
I’m glad. I don’t ever want to become so detached from my feelings that I don’t get emotional anymore. I need to feel it. If I feel it, I know I’ll do my damnedest to fix it however I can. Right now, I’d give anything to take away Mia’s pain.
“Mia, we’re going to help you through this, I promise.”
After about fifteen minutes of her wrapped in my arms, her worker finally shows up. It’s my friend Marie and she looks frazzled.
“I’m so sorry I’m late. There was a major accident on the 101, the freeway is backed up for miles. I finally got off and took the streets. Did they call you in?” Her words are whispered because Mia fell asleep in my arms.
Shaking my head, I scoot over so she can sit down, too.
“Jake and I were doing some shopping and had just finished lunch when Derek saw me and asked me to come over and help out. Do you have any info on her case yet? “
Marie nods and continues to whisper, “Both parents are deceased, and other than the deceased grandmother there are no other relatives. The grandmother has had full custody of her since she was three when her mother died, and her dad was killed in a gang shootout when she was just a baby.”
“How did you get all this information so fast?” I’m amazed she knows so much already.
“Her grandmother’s friend, who was here, filled out the incident report and gave their address. Believe it or not, they live on the same street as the Robinsons. Actually, they live directly across the street and Denise Robinson knew Mia’s grandmother very well. The circumstances are tragic but the timing couldn’t have been better.”
“How so?”
“Denise has an opening and since she’s our number one choice for cases like Mia’s, it’s already a done deal. Denise has a key to Mia’s house and she’ll slowly help her move her things over, but she did go over there and get a few things for now.”
“That’s incredible.” Denise Robinson is the best foster mother I have ever met. She has been taking kids for twenty years and has a gentle but firm touch. Kids bond with her quickly, and she usually keeps in touch with them all even after they are adopted.
Mia opens her eyes and looks at me with her sweet little sad face. “April, can I go home now?”
Oh, my heart. I’ve never wanted to take a kid home with me and make their world better like I wish I could for her right now.
“Mia, this is my friend Marie. She’s going to take you to your neighbor’s house for a while. Do you know Denise Robinson?”
Mia nods. “Mrs. Robinson is my best friend, Hannah’s, foster mom. She makes us cookies after school and watches me until my nana gets home from work.”
For a child with no family, this could not have worked out better. “Marie will make sure you get settled in at Mrs. Robinson’s house and I’ll come by and check on you in a few days.”
Mia nods her head and slowly stands, grabbing her bear and box. Marie takes her hand and they head out.
“Need a hand?” Derek asks once they are out of my line of sight. Before I have the opportunity to answer, Jake is in front of me, pulling me up.
“We’re good, man, thanks,” Jake replies coolly.
“See you later, Derek.” I wave as Jake leads me out. He’s tense. I can tell he’s pissed and I’m really not in the mood for his possessive bullshit right now.
Surprisingly, the ride home is pretty quiet. I’m lost in thought most of the way, wondering if there really is something to my boss’s reasoning about not working traumatic cases while pregnant. I’ve never felt as drawn to a child as I do to Mia.
When we walk into the house, we’re immediately greeted by Luvbug and his happy dance. God, he’s adorable. His paws are huge and he’s such a roly poly, he can barely control his movements. He comes running up and slams into my leg because he isn’t exactly coordinated enough yet to stop when he wants to.
“Hey, Luvbug, did you miss us?”
Jake bends down and picks him up, handing him to me. He knows I like to give him a hug when we get home.
“Such a pussy-ass fucking name for a dog.”
“He picked it, Jake, so complain to him.”
When we brought Luvbug home, we tried calling him a few different names and most of the time he just stared blankly at us. As soon as I jokingly called him Luvbug, he came running. Jake insisted it was a fluke but sure enough, every time we said it, he came. Jake tried for almost two weeks to get him to come to Tank but no luck. Finally, he gave up.
“Luvbug, you’re going to be a big, fat, manly English Bulldog. Your head is going to be huge, your body is going to be buff, and all the other dogs at the dog park are going to make fun of you because of your pussy-ass name. Remember when that happens it was your choice.”
I’m laughing as I pass him to Jake. “Can you let him out, please? I really have to pee.”
He kisses me on the cheek. “Sure thing, but then we’re talking about Derek.”
Yeah, I knew that was coming; I was just hoping I’d get lucky.
By the time Jake comes back in, I’m comfortable in our bed. I’m so tired; I just need a small nap.
Jake lies beside me and pulls me close, placing kisses along my neck as he rubs my belly. Of course, now that I want to sleep, Jaxson starts to kick against Jake’s hands. We haven’t told anyone his name yet—we’re keeping it a surprise. We both really loved the name, and when we realized it began with JA, we knew it was perfect. Jake and April created Jaxson.
Jaxson Noah Houston. We can’t wait until we finally get to meet our little guy. My eyes grow heavy as Jake continues to rub my belly.
When I wake up, Jake is no longer curled up behind me. I wish he would have stayed. Actually, I wish he would have made love to me like he said he was going to. I’m thirsty, grumpy, and know immediately from my mood I slept way too long.
As I make my way into the kitchen, I hear pounding coming from the front of the house. When I look up at the clock on the stove, I realize I’ve been sleeping for two hours. So much for a power nap. No wonder my mood plummeted. After grabbing a bottle of water, I follow the noise out into the yard to see what in the world Jake is doing out there.
My breath catches as I open the door and my eyes land on my husband—shirt off, body glistening with sweat, and giving the neighborhood stroller patrol a hell of a show.
Back off, bitches, he’s mine.
As I waddle my way out to him, I flash a fake smile and a wave to the three bitches openly ogli
ng my husband. Two of them have the decency to blush and walk away, but the last one lingers long enough for me to narrow my eyes at her. Jake looks up and his eyes follow my glare; only then does Malibu Barbie begin to move.
“Hi, Jake,” she says with a smile and a wave as she walks by, shaking her tiny little ass and pushing her stroller as seductively as she can. Bitch.
“Hi Jake,” I mimic as she passes, and Jake laughs good naturedly, which pisses me off even more.
“April, stop. You know I only have eyes for you. Although, I’m not sure the same can be said for you after meeting Derek today.”
He did not just go there.
I don’t want to argue with my husband right now. He looks hot as fuck and it’s obvious he’s been working his ass off out here. Our yard now looks like a Halloween wonderland, complete with a graveyard. It doesn’t matter, though; if he’s going to push this Derek issue, we’re going to fight.
You know what? I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. I’m grumpy, hormonal, and it won’t end well. Instead of responding, I turn around and go back into the house, slamming the door behind me.
God, that felt good.
It’s rare when Jake and I fight, and I’ll typically try and avoid it at all costs. Fighting with Jake is emotionally draining. We’re both stubborn and at times won’t talk for days on end. Our fights leave me feeling uneasy, scared for our future, and sad. We haven’t had a bad fight since before the wedding and I’m not looking to have one now.
“What the hell, April?” Jake bites out as he storms in the house, slamming the door behind him.
It doesn’t feel so good when he does it.
“Exactly, Jake! What the hell? Do you see me? I’m as big as a house! I waddle, I’m emotional, uncomfortable, MARRIED to you, pregnant with your baby, and you have the audacity to jump my shit about Derek? Really, Jake?”
I will not cry. I will not cry over Jake and his neanderthal antics.
“Pregnant with our baby,” he corrects sharply.
“Well, you seem to be forgetting that part. How dare you accuse me of wanting Derek when I spend every day growing an extension of our love inside of me? How fucking dare you, Jake Houston?!”
“How dare me?!” he roars, inching closer, placing his hand on the small of my back and pulling me firmly into his embrace.
“He touched you here. This is mine, April. Mine.”
My pulse races as he grips me tighter. I’m so mad at him… but I’m also really turned on.
“Maybe I need to remind you of all the ways you’re mine. We can’t have you forgetting who you belong to, April. Especially when Derek smiles at you as if you’re his one and only because we both know you belong to me and only me.”
“Jake.” My whispered plea is captured by his lips. Those lips fit so perfectly against mine—there’s no way God didn’t intend for them to be there for eternity. His tongue meets mine in a synchronicity which can only exist between us. A fire burns deep inside my soul, one only he can light.
Within minutes, Jake has managed to get us both naked, into the bedroom, and onto our bed. His mouth descends onto my breasts and his tongue flicks against my hardening nipples. “Mine,” he growls, and his mouth drops lower, his lips blazing a trail of kisses across my entire belly while his hands worship every single inch of it. When he whispers “ours” so reverently, it almost brings me to tears.
Progressively, he moves even lower, spreading my legs and kissing my most intimate place all while emitting groans of desire. My hands immediately go to his hair, tugging lightly as he brings me to the brink of orgasm. When his tongue flicks against my clit, sending me over the edge, I cry out in ecstasy as he laps up every bit of my release.
“Yours, Jake. Only yours, forever yours.” These are the most honest and truthful words I’ve ever spoken. He climbs my body, kissing every part of me he can reach with his lips and his tongue before he finally meets my lips.
“And I’m yours. Only yours, forever yours,” he repeats before kissing me senseless. He enters me slowly, filling me completely, and makes love to me the way only Jake can. His beautifully sculpted body hovers slightly above my giant belly, but he loves me so completely you’d never know there was a slight obstacle in the way.
His tongue teases me, his lips capture me, and his cock… fuck, his cock possesses me with every single stroke until we both come—loudly, breathlessly, and wholeheartedly.
Jake rolls over and pulls me into my favorite position—my back to his front—and nuzzles my neck.
“That was so much better than fighting,” I say on a sigh.
“Were we fighting? I’m pretty sure I was doing something nice and you had a minor pregnancy freak out.” I know he’s joking, but it irritates me.
“If you wouldn’t have been giving Malibu Barbie and the stroller patrol a show, I would have thanked you instead of freaking out,” I answer sarcastically.
Shit, now I’m starting the fight. Damn it.
“Well, if you had put Porky Pig in his place instead of letting him fawn all over you in front of your husband, maybe I wouldn’t have needed to get my frustrations out in the form of manual labor,” he answers back just as snottily, and it’s as if the last thirty minutes never happened. We’re both just as pissy as we were before we had sex.
I roll over so I can look him in the eye and notice the lines on his face are a little more pronounced. His usually clear grey eyes are stormy, much like his mood, and he’s tense. God, he’s so tense.
After placing a soft kiss on his lips, I tell him to turn over and he begrudgingly complies. At first, I’m quiet and take my time massaging his shoulders and his back. After allowing myself to calm down for a few minutes and waiting for Jake to relax, I finally speak.
“Derek isn’t anything for you to ever be concerned about, Jake. I’ve never really noticed much of an attraction on his part before today.”
“So you admit you noticed it?”
“Yeah, I guess so. There’s nothing I can do about it, Jake. Everyone knows how I feel about you. It’s your ring I wear on my finger. You own me, Jake. So if Derek has feelings for me, that’s his problem, and they’re not reciprocated. I’d never encourage him, but I’m not going to be mean to him, either.”
“April—” he bites out, but I cut him off.
“I rarely see him. We have to be working the same case at the same time in order for Derek and me to even cross paths. Police calls are as random as social worker calls. It can be any officer and any worker at any given time. There have been six-month stretches where I’ve never even crossed his path. But there have also been months where I see him on almost every case. It’s just the luck of the draw.”
“So quit.”
“What?!” My shriek echoes through the room and I’m flying up out of bed and scrambling to put on clothes. This is not a discussion I’m going to have with him naked. This isn’t a discussion we should even be having at all.
Jake’s jealousy is going to tear us apart one day.
“Did I stutter? Quit your job.” Now he’s standing in all of his exceptionally sculpted, naked glory, looking like the biggest fucking asshole who ever walked the planet.
I’m so beyond pissed I just want to cry because that’s what I do. When I’m so angry I’m about to explode, instead of screaming I cry. It makes me feel like a weak woman and I am anything but weak… and he knows it.
“You know that’s not an option.”
“Look, April, you knew this discussion was going to come up eventually. I want you home with our kids.”
“Why don’t you stay home with the kids if you want someone home so badly?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he answers with a laugh.
The nerve of him.
“Ridiculous? I’m not being ridiculous. You’re the one with the money, you’re the one who hates his job right now, and you’re the one who doesn’t need to work. So why should I quit my job?” Now I’m screaming, and Jake doesn’t d
o well with screaming.
“First of all, you’re the woman and you should be the one staying home with our kids, spending our money, and doing mom stuff. We have money, April. Not just me, US. You know as well as I do, children need to be nurtured by their mothers. Why do you want to go help other people’s kids all day, and sometimes night, when your own kids will need you at home? Have you ever given any consideration to that?”
He did not just go there!
“Children need to be nurtured and loved by both parents, Jake. My job fulfills me. I’m damn good at it and I know I’m doing something good in the world. I’m helping kids whose lives have been turned upside down and inside out. You saw Mia today. There are so many workers who don’t care, Jake. These kids need someone who cares. I care!”
Tears are streaming down my face but he isn’t budging. Not that it surprises me—he’s used to my crying when I’m angry. I’m just not sure he realizes how much he’s just hurt me with his words.
“Then care about your own damn kids, your own family, and give them the hundred percent you put in at work,” he yells angrily while putting on his clothes. When he reaches for his keys, I’m shocked.
The gasp escaping my mouth is loud and comes from deep within my soul, cutting through my heart on its way out. But he’s not affected by it in the least as he turns his back and walks away.
“Where are you going? You know we don’t leave when we’re mad!”
“Out.”
“Out where, Jake? Somewhere with the stroller patrol?”
He flashes a glacial look at me at me and storms out the door with his words trailing behind him, “At least they find the time to stay home and take care of their kids!”
With those parting words, the dam of tears unleashes. This is the worst fight we’ve ever had and when I feel Jaxson kicking, the tears fall even harder and faster. I’m not sure we’ll ever get past this. I’ll never be like those women; I need to work and it’s not going to make me love my son any less.
Damn, I wish I could have a drink right now. My eyes dart around the room in disgust. I used to love this house but now I hate it—hate our stupidly perfect neighbors, hate that we’re so far away from our friends and family, and really hate that I’m all alone crying right now when this should be the happiest time of my life.