by D. Kelly
Jake
A few months ago, Daniel sold me his beach house so he could buy a bigger one a little further up the beach. This one is perfect for me, April, and Jaxson. I was going to surprise her with it at Christmas when Daniel surprises Kate with their new house. I know she’ll be angry, but I’m hopeful if Kate’s gracious and happy about her new home, April will be, too. If things keep going the way they are, this may end up becoming my home instead.
Don’t be stupid. You’re not getting divorced.
When I left home, I drove straight here other than a minor pit-stop for lots of alcohol. It’s Friday and if I decide to, I’ll drink the whole fucking weekend away. Mike got here a few minutes ago; he’s the only one I’m in the mood to talk to right now.
“You just left?” Mike asks, surprised, as he passes me the bottle of tequila.
“Yup, I’ve never been so pissed at her as I was today, Mike. Not ever.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “When you called and said you wanted a guys’ night, I figured you needed to get away from the hormones. I didn’t realize you were fighting them. It’s a losing battle. I swear, Grant is two months old and Misty is just now starting to become the woman I love again.”
After another shot, I shake my head. “It’s not just that. April and I have fundamental differences of opinion about things. She’s still arguing with me over money.”
“She’s proud, Jake. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Are you kidding? There’s everything wrong with that. April and the baby are my entire world. Money is just money, but it’s a part of me and every time she pushes it away, it’s like she’s rejecting who I am… what makes me, me.”
“Jake, you’re way overthinking this.”
“I’m not, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You should have seen her today, working with the little girl at the mall. It took my breath away, Mike. It was so inspiring to see her in her element, working with Mia. All I could think about was how fucking blessed our kids will be to have her as their mom.”
He nods in agreement and takes a shot.
“But then I realized our kids won’t get that part of her. She’ll go to work every day and put all her effort and energy into all the kids less fortunate than our own while our kids go to daycare or sit with a nanny and never get to experience that side of their mom. April comes home and shuts off. She doesn’t talk about work, not ever. She’s emotionally exhausted by the end of the day and keeps things light at night.”
“Do you come home and talk about work? Fuck, the last thing I want to do is talk work when I get home.”
I take another shot of Patron before responding to him.
“No, but when I get home I don’t want to think about numbers and portfolios. I want to lose myself in my fucking wife. I can’t wait for those family moments. After being with kids all day, is April going to want to come home and spend time with hers? It could go either way… she could just shut down completely or she could cherish what she has even more.”
“Jake, come on. She’s going to cherish you and your kids forever. You’re just upset and being a bit ridiculous.”
“She never wanted kids this soon, Mike, but when Lucas and Hailey showed up, she changed her mind. What if she’s regretting that?”
“Jake, if we weren’t drunk I’d be calling you a fucking idiot by now.”
“I’m not an idiot, Mike. We’ve got fundamental differences. How many times do I have to say it? And why didn’t I realize them before now?”
Holy shit, my world is closing in around me. Why I didn’t I notice this before?
“Let’s rewind for a minute. This all started because some guy was checking her out at the mall?”
“No, yes, sort of. It wasn’t some guy… it was a co-worker. Well, a cop she works with.”
“Did April give you any reason to think she was interested in him?”
Fuck… did she? I was so busy watching him ogle my wife I didn’t pay much attention to her reaction.
“Now that I think of it, she seemed uncomfortable,” I admit sheepishly.
“Of course she did because she fucking loves your possessive ass. Even when you’re being… a possessive ass. So what happened at home and who is…” He pauses as he checks his phone “Malibu Barbie?”
Of course. April must have told Kate and the rest of the girls.
Great.
So I spend a few minutes catching him up on the stroller patrol and Trina, AKA Malibu Barbie.
Mike leans back and laughs. “So let me get this straight, after you got all possessive on April twice at the mall and acted like a fool, she took a nap and you stripped for the housewives of Thousand Oaks? Does that about sum it up?”
“When you put it that way, it sounds really bad but it wasn’t.”
“Fucking hell, Jake! April has about a million and one body image issues. She is one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen. BUT her issues are hers and they’re legit in her mind. I know you can’t stop women from looking at you or hitting on you… just like she can’t stop men from doing the same to her.”
My head is swimming in a nice, drunken fog to the beat of the waves crashing against the shore and yet even with my muddled state of mind, I know there’s a ‘but’ coming.
“But it probably wasn’t the best idea to work in the yard with your shirt off. Let alone continue to do it while you knew the housewives were watching. Especially since you know that Trina chick doesn’t like April and has the fucking hots for you.”
“I don’t know that for sure,” I answer stubbornly.
“Cut the shit, Jake! If you want to hit it with the hot neighbor, that’s a whole different conversation we need to be having.”
“Fuck you, Mike! I don’t want to hit it with the hot neighbor. The only person I want to hit it with is my goddamned wife!”
“So you do think she’s hot?”
“Sure, she’s hot in that ‘calendar girl’ kind of way. You’ve seen her… Super skinny, thigh gap for days, curvy ass, and fake-ass titties. If you like that kind of girl, she’s smoking hot.”
The suspicious look he’s giving me makes me uneasy.
“But she’s not my type. I’ve never been one for blondes, no offense.”
“None taken,” he replies with a smirk
“And while that thigh gap shit works for some men, I don’t give a fuck one way or the other about a thigh gap. Honestly, sometimes that shit looks creepy as fuck. I like April’s curves. I fucking love that she isn’t too petite and dainty. I’m a big fucking guy. I was a mother fucking football player. Do you have any clue how awkward it would feel to have someone that small under me? Hell, I don’t want to feel like I’m going to break a woman during sex. I want someone I can fuck as hard as I want, who will fuck me back just as hard. I need a woman with curves everywhere. I just need my fucking wife, Mike.”
His answering smile is proof that’s all he wanted to hear.
“Alright then, back to Trina. She’s been rude to April at every event you’ve hosted at your house when you’ve invited your neighbors. April has always been nice to her even though it’s visible it kills her to do so.”
Has she really been that nasty to April? Did I really never notice?
“I’ve never noticed.”
He nods and shoots me a smile. “I know, because as much as we all love our women, I’ve never seen a motherfucker in love with his wife as much as you are with April. You don’t notice because you never take your eyes off of her. A single, rich mom in the neighborhood is going to be your worst nightmare. Especially one who provokes your wife and eye fucks you every chance she gets.”
“I can’t help how she sees me. I don’t want her.”
“So how can you fault April for the same?”
Bastard.
“Touché, Mike.”
“Look, Jake, I’m happy to stay here with you tonight and drink away every issue we have. It’s been a long time since we’ve done this, bu
t do me a favor and text your wife. I don’t care what you say to her as long as you let her know you’re okay, with me, and you’ll see her tomorrow.”
“Yeah, okay.” As I pull out my phone from my pocket, I’m trying to figure out what to say to my wife. I was an ass of epic proportions tonight and I don’t know how to make this right.
With Mike – drunk off my ass. I’ll be home tomorrow. Sorry I was an ass. You never have to worry about Malibu Barbie. My heart belongs only to you.
“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Nah, I needed to text her. She’s going to be fucking pissed. I broke our number one rule…never leave angry.”
“It will be okay. You might just have to grovel for a while. So you want to tell me what else is going on with you? I haven’t seen or talked to you in a month or more. You guys just trying to enjoy your alone time before the baby comes or what?”
The first bottle of tequila is empty so I open the second one and pour us both a shot and then another.
“I hate my brother,” I tell him bitterly.
“Whoa, that’s harsh and completely unlike you. What’s the deal?”
“The deal is this… Connor has completely fucked up my life.”
Mike keeps the alcohol coming at a pretty consistent pace and pretty soon, bottle number two is almost empty and neither of us are feeling any pain.
“Okay, I get why you’re pissed at Connor. I’d be pissed, too. Connor is a good guy and I’m sure he means well. He probably doesn’t even understand what he’s doing wrong because you keep cleaning up his mess.”
Ding. Ding. Ding.
“So what do you suggest? Not to clean up after him anymore? Let the business crash and burn?”
I try standing so I can go take a piss, but the ocean starts spinning around me and I have to grab the rail for support.
“Dude, fuck no. But before he goes home for the day, hand him all the files he still needs to work on. Stop letting it fall on your head.”
After finally stumbling inside to take a piss, I walk back out to find Mike is sprawled out on the couch.
“You know…” he says, pointing his finger at me—his middle fucking finger—and I laugh uncontrollably. From the way he’s squinting at me, I know he has no clue what is so funny.
“No, I don’t know. Why don’t you enlighten me?” I answer, pointing my middle finger back at him and he finally gets it, laughing so hard he falls off the couch and lands with a loud thud on the floor.
“Damn, that’s probably going to hurt in the morning,” he mumbles as he crawls back up to sit down.
“What I was going to say is… no matter how much I love Misty, no matter how much Connor loves Jess, or Daniel loves Kate, you and April are the holy motherfucking grail, Jake. Neither of you can see past the blissful tunnel of love you live in. You might be fighting now, but don’t let stupid shit get in the way of epicness.”
“Epicness?”
“Yes,” he answers with a yawn. “Epicness. I’d bet everything I own neither of you would ever cheat on each other. You’re not built that way. So the fact you’re fighting over other people is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Not as stupid as you not finding Kate all those years ago,” I snap back.
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I fucking love Misty, and if Kate and I had gotten back together before she met Daniel… The second I saw Hailey, we would have been over. That’s a hard truth for me to admit because I love Kate. More than anyone ever will, in a way her husband never can, but we are where we were meant to be, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“You’re right.”
“I’m also right about this. You guys have epicness. Don’t let pigs in blankets and housewives and Barbies get in the middle of greatness, Jake. You’ll never be happy without April and she’ll never be the same without you.”
I need to close my eyes for a minute to think about what Mike just said. Acting like an idiot with my wife isn’t going to solve my work issues.
“You stupid idiot, wake the fuck up!”
My eyes try to open but as soon as the bright sunlight hits them, they shut again of their own accord.
“I’m not fucking with you, Jake. Get up!” Daniel screams at me. It’s obvious he’s talked to April.
“Good morning to you, too, sunshine,” I manage to croak out.
“Kitchen now,” he commands as he stalks off.
“Fuck, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Who the fuck pissed in his Captain Crunch?” Mike questions as he slowly sits up, holding his head in his hands.
“Apparently I did.” I slowly push myself off the chair, holding my own head.
“Come on, there’s ibuprofen in the kitchen.”
There’s also coffee and food; Daniel always knows how to cure a hangover.
He’s leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. Damn, he looks pissed, but I don’t blame him. He is April’s best friend.
Mike falls into his chair and reaches for a coffee. After grabbing the ibuprofen from the cabinet, I also get two bottles of water from the refrigerator. We both take the pills, fix our coffee, and grab food. Mike is eating away but my stomach is still a little uneasy.
“You know if you don’t eat you’re going to feel worse,” Daniel snaps, and he’s right. After taking three bites of a breakfast sandwich, I push it away. It’s enough for now.
“Talk to your wife yet?” The way he’s sneering at me is really grating on my last fucking nerve this morning, but it also makes me realize I have no clue if April has been trying to call. My hands are still a little shaky from the tequila and lack of sleep, but I manage to eventually get my phone out of my pocket.
When I swipe my screen, I see there are no missed calls or missed texts. That’s odd. After double-checking my text to her went through, I sink down into my chair and slam my phone onto the table.
“Fuck.”
“You need to fix this,” Daniel states firmly.
“I know.”
“No, Jake, I don’t think you do know. Do you remember how I explained what happened to April in high school to you at your wedding?”
I nod slightly because anymore movement than that hurts.
“The damage you caused last night is the worst I’ve ever seen with her. If you don’t think your wife is sexy anymore, there are plenty of men who will.”
Wait, what?
“If you’d rather be hooking up with the neighborhood stroller patrol, no one is stopping you.”
What the fuck?
“But if you ever, and I mean ever, insinuate April won’t or can’t be the mother her children need because she chooses to have a career, a career which focuses on innocent kids who have no one in the world in their corner but her, we’re going to have a serious fucking problem. Are we clear on that?”
“Back the fuck up. You lost me at not thinking my wife is attractive anymore. My wife is the sexiest goddamned woman I’ve ever laid fucking eyes on. Why the hell would you think otherwise?”
“Because of Malibu Barbie,” Mike answers through a bite of food.
“Is that really what April thinks, Daniel? Does she really think I would leave her for one of the stroller patrol?”
Finally, he sits down and takes a drink of his own coffee. He looks tired. Either he was up with Haven all night, or April, or both.
“This is your mess, Jake. I shouldn’t have to play interpreter for either of you. How could you leave her in the middle of a fight while she’s seven months pregnant?”
He’s trying to piece this together; I can tell from the way he’s pinching the bridge of his nose.
With a frustrated sigh, I answer him.
“Daniel, I haven’t slept a full night in months. I’ve been working twelve-hour days at the office most days, and yesterday was the first full day I’ve had off since Connor came to work with us. I was tired and pissed off about that cop she works with and I let it go
too far.”
“Ya think?”
“He was touching her in places only I should be touching her.”
“And you gave the neighborhood wives a show. Call it even. Your wife only has eyes for you. Go home, Jake. Make her feel loved. Show her she’s the only one you want. She’s sad, lonely, and absolutely hates your house.”
His words dig a knife straight through my heart. April and I worked hard for that house. She refused to let me buy it. We started putting money into an account when we were freshmen in college to save for a down payment. We’ve got a mortgage just like most everyone else, and we decorated it from top to bottom together. Our home is my sanctuary. How long has April been unhappy there?
My heart feels damaged and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t understand what is going on with the two of us, but we’ve never been the kind of people who fight over stupid things. My issue is when I’m angry, I lash out. April is usually the one who takes the brunt of it, but I’m tired of fighting with her.
Mike holds my gaze with his and slightly shakes his head. He’s warning me not to go off in front of Daniel but at this point, what does it even matter?
With a deep breath, I stand up and open the French doors to the patio, grabbing my sunglasses off the counter on the way out.
It’s too fucking early for this and it’s too fucking bright.
“Talk to me, Jake,” Daniel pleads, taking a seat at the table. I can’t take my eyes off the ocean, the crashing of the waves against the shore. Each wave different, imperfect in its own way, and yet still amazing, breathtaking, and inspiring. Every new wave is a new breath, another chance. The ocean is relentless, timeless, and never stops moving, never gives up. It doesn’t matter if the waves crash too high or too low—if they wreak havoc, destroying things in their path, leaving death and destruction in their wake—because the waves eventually recede. They calm, the beauty resets, and they become perfect imperfections all over again.
Just like April and me… perfectly imperfect.