If she’d had one strike against her before, Eli had all but doomed her now.
He clenched his fists to keep from touching her. “Search your memories.” He made his voice hard to hide how close he was to pulling her into his arms and begging her forgiveness. “I’d been hunting the band of Outcasts for days. I caught up with them and they tried to fight me off in the parking garage.”
She closed her eyes, paling, clearly remembering the fangs ripping into her throat.
“You chose the wrong moment to try to get to your car,” he went on relentlessly. “He bit you as I fought the others, forced his blood on you purely to stop me from pursuing him. He knew I would have to aid you rather than chase him down. It’s part of the Vow all Slayers take.”
“Stop it.” She bent over in pain, wrapping her arms around her waist.
The words dropped like stones from his mouth. “I took you in because no one else wanted you. No one in the League would have you and I couldn’t chance giving you to anyone else to foster. I kept you by me to prevent you from going to your sire, and to monitor you for any signs of turning Outcast.”
“And if I did, you’d kill me,” she whispered, not looking at him. “That’s why you had to keep me close, isn’t it?”
He had to force the word out. “Yes.”
She flinched as if he’d struck her. “I guess you went above and beyond the call of duty tonight, didn’t you?”
He ached to tell her what tonight had meant to him, but he couldn’t. He didn’t dare. She could never know and he would never risk it happening again. Eli cursed his weakness. Even to drive her away, he couldn’t force out another word.
Renee raised tormented eyes to his face. “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”
Eli had to look away. He hated himself in that moment, hated putting those tears in her eyes, the pain in her voice. When she ran from the room, he didn’t try to stop her. After all, it was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it?
Renee slammed her bedroom door behind her and sank to the floor, tears flowing unchecked down her cheeks. How could he deliberately hurt her after what they’d shared? Hadn’t it been as special, as unforgettable to him as it had to her?
Obviously not. She buried her face in the sheet and sobbed. His scent rose from the cloth, surrounding her with memories of incredible closeness, of a connection with him that had seemed too perfect to be real.
And it hadn’t been real. She didn’t dare trust anything Eli did now.
She stood abruptly and flung the sheet away. She didn’t want any reminders of Eli and his lies right now. She turned on the shower as hot as it would go and scrubbed her skin viciously, washing away the memory of his touch. When every inch of her body was red and tingling, she toweled off and dressed, hardly noticing what she put on, only one thought in her mind.
She had to get out of here. If Eli didn’t want her, she wouldn’t stay.
Renee was afraid she’d run into him when she left the bedroom, but it was a risk she had to take. She moved on silent feet to the entryway and stood for a long minute, staring in sudden apprehension at the narrow fissure in the wall.
She’d never passed through there alone.
Eli had always been in her mind, holding the image of mist there for her. Renee squared her shoulders. She’d paid attention the last few times he’d called the mist. She’d felt how he’d accomplished it. She was certain she knew what to do. It simply remained to be seen if she could use that knowledge to perform the same feat.
She shoved aside the memory of Eli assuring her that the mist would always be beyond her abilities—after all, he’d lied to her so many times, how was she to know what was true and what wasn’t? Gathering her strength and her courage, Renee concentrated hard and tried to bring the mist to life in her mind, focusing on the sensation of the change.
Weightless. Formless. Every cell in her body light, tingling, insubstantial.
And slowly she felt the magic flow over her. Renee opened her eyes—but there were no eyes to open. She had no sensation of eyelids slipping back, just vision where a moment before there had been only blackness.
She’d done it.
Elation burst through her. Forcing herself not to think of her fear of enclosed spaces, Renee shot through the crack in the wall and sped for the surface.
Eli jolted upright at the sudden surge of power rushing soundlessly through the stones around him. This was no earthquake, no aftershock. That kind of power was only wielded by a vampire, a powerful one. He welcomed the thought of battle to clear his mind.
Only a fool would try to find his lair and come to challenge him.
His eyes narrowed. His home might have been found, but the intruder wouldn’t live long enough to tell anyone about it. He had worked on it for too long to abandon it now.
But first Eli had to make sure Renee was safely away from the battle to come. The thought of her being thrown into the middle of another fight made his chest tighten. He flung open his door and ran to hers, crashing inside without bothering to knock. “Renee!”
Silence met him. Silence and emptiness.
Where the hell was she?
His battle rage turned to ashes but still Eli raced through the halls, looking in every room, even though in his heart he already knew. The emptiness was not confined to her rooms. It pressed in all around him. Eli finally stopped his futile search and leaned against the statue of the wildcat in the hall, his heart pounding. There was no intruder, no attacker. He stared down at the entry hall. His gaze fell on the fissure in the wall and the impossibility it represented.
It couldn’t be true.
There was no other explanation.
Renee had summoned the mist and left him. Nothing else caused a power surge like that. She had done the impossible, what no vampire other than Eli had ever been able to do, and now she was gone. He ran his hands through his hair, cursing in four languages. He’d wanted to drive her away from him but he hadn’t thought she would actually leave.
He hadn’t thought she could leave.
But too late now, Eli remembered how she’d woken in the middle of the day to warn him of the earthquake he hadn’t even felt coming. He closed his eyes, his heart constricting. A few hours ago he had realized that she was more powerful than he’d ever suspected, and after taking his blood, there was no telling what she was capable of.
She was stronger than she knew, but strength alone wasn’t enough. Despite her progress in sparring, she couldn’t adequately defend herself. His fists clenched as he remembered how easily he disarmed her every time they sparred. How readily he pinned her. Yes, he’d cheated, but so would the Outcasts. She had no chance in a real battle. His eyes flashed red and a growl rose in his throat. She couldn’t even consistently remember to keep her mental blocks up.
The Outcasts would find her, and even if they didn’t, Ronin would eat her alive.
He had to find her first.
Eli ran toward the fissure to the surface, not even pausing as he transformed into mist and raced after her. He was already scanning the night for her before he reached the surface. He would drag her back if he had to. This entire fiasco was his fault and he wouldn’t allow her to be harmed because he’d given in to weakness.
He burst into the cemetery, already shifting back into his normal form, but he had to stop there even as every instinct he possessed urged him to hurry.
He couldn’t feel her. Not even the tiniest hint of her passage. Eli closed his eyes and raised his hands, sending his powers surging.
Nothing.
Eli struck out blindly in frustration, punching a hole straight through a granite gravestone. His desperation grew with each passing moment. Apparently he had underestimated her again because not only was Renee now blocking, she was blocking so well he couldn’t detect the faintest trace of her. He shifted his form again as he leapt into the air, this time transforming into an enormous owl before soaring toward the crowded downtown district. She would need to hunt, especiall
y since he’d taken her blood earlier. The memory of it tried to overcome him but he shoved it ruthlessly away. He didn’t have time for that luxury.
Once she was safe again, then he’d try to find a way to deal with what they’d shared.
* * *
Renee started to head toward the busy downtown area where she’d hunted with Eli before she changed her mind. If he was looking for her—she didn’t think it was likely, but it had to be considered—that was the first place he’d look. She couldn’t go there.
She hesitated only briefly before she felt her instincts calling her north, the opposite direction from the one she would normally have taken. She followed the call without hesitation. Every night she’d hunted with Eli, it had led her to easy prey.
She shoved the memory ruthlessly away. She refused to think of Eli. She used the knowledge he’d given her to hide from him when she felt him scan the night for her without even a twinge of conscience. She remembered what Sian had told her a sire should be—someone to protect and teach her, to raise her in the ways of her new life. Someone to provide a safe haven for her.
Eli had merely kept her near in case he had to kill her.
And she’d fallen in love with him. That hurt most of all. She loved him with every cell of her body, every fiber of her being, and he’d only taken her in because no one else wanted her. He’d been brutal when he’d shattered her heart, leaving her no shred of illusion to cling to.
She was the child of an Outcast and as such she would always be suspect. Ronin’s vicious attack at the club made perfect sense now, as did Diego’s fierce reaction to seeing her near his mate. No matter what she did, even if she behaved with the utmost restraint and control at all times, they would always be watching her and waiting for her to turn.
And Eli was watching and waiting right along with them.
Renee wondered if this tearing pain was what the Outcasts felt, this sense of utter betrayal and defeat. Eli’s cold voice echoed over and over in her mind until she felt like screaming. If nothing she did would ever be good enough, why stay and experience this agonizing turmoil again and again?
She stopped at the outskirts of a residential neighborhood, pressing her hands over her heart as if that would stop its breaking. She bent over, gasping for air, trying to breathe through the terrible emotions. It was all well and good to rail against the injustice of it and resolve to leave, but there was nowhere for her to go. She didn’t know what to do. Her mortal life was long gone and with it everything she’d ever owned in this world. How would she live if she couldn’t create a safe haven for herself?
At last the answer came to her. She raised her head and resolutely wiped the tears from her cheeks. Eli and the others seemed to think it was only a matter of time before she turned. Well, if she turned now it would be their fault. They’d left her no other option but to seek the Outcasts.
She would find her real sire. He would take her in. He would have to, wouldn’t he? She would find her sire and see how he lived for herself. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as she remembered. Eli had been attacking him at the time, hadn’t he? Wouldn’t she have done anything it took to save her life in the same situation? She tried to ignore the doubts in the back of her mind as she strode resolutely forward. She had no better plan.
But before she did anything, she needed to feed. Her hunger led her onward.
Renee looked around and noticed her surroundings for the first time. She knew now why she’d been drawn here. This lower-class neighborhood had been decimated by the quake. Flimsy houses were reduced to piles of rubble, and nearby an ancient apartment complex had collapsed. Firemen and rescue workers were combing the destruction for survivors. The air was thick with the scent of blood, fear, and death.
She shuddered. Easy prey.
But something tickled her senses when she prepared to enter the chaos. Renee spun around, her hands upraised, her posture defensive, ready to protect herself from whatever was trying to sneak up behind her. The stance had been perfected during her sparring matches with Eli, but she tried not to remember how quickly he’d always beaten her. This was a time for action, not doubts.
A handsome young man stood there, smiling disarmingly at her. Renee didn’t trust his smile in the slightest.
“Easy, there,” he said, holding up his hands. “I’m not going to hurt you. Are you looking for someone here? Maybe I can help you.”
He was a vampire. Renee smelled it on him. She wondered why he didn’t seem to recognize that she was one, too. Relying on senses she didn’t even know she had, she felt him sizing her up, eyeing her as prey. Her fangs lengthened in response to the threat and she snarled, preparing to fight.
He blinked at her in surprise. The easygoing manner vanished instantly. She watched as his fingernails lengthened into talons. “I do not know you, little one. Who are you? What Clan?”
A growl rose in her throat. “Don’t call me that,” she snapped, her blood boiling. “Don’t ever call me that.”
His eyes narrowed and she felt him tense to attack. “What is your Clan?” he demanded, a spark of red shining in his eyes.
“I have no Clan.” She had to force the words past numb lips. It was only the truth. According to Eli, no Clan would have her.
To her surprise, the stranger relaxed at her words. This time the smile he gave her was genuine. “We are of the same Clan. I am Kalen. Come, join our band tonight. It is dangerous to hunt alone.”
Her shock must have shown on her face because Kalen laughed, raking back his blood-red hair with one hand. “Surely you didn’t think you would be the only Clanless one called to such a feast?” he asked, still smiling. “Come,” he repeated. “The Slayers will come to this place soon. If they find you here, your blood will join these unfortunate humans’ in the gutters.”
Renee swallowed her sudden fear. This was an Outcast. Kalen was the very thing she’d been warned about, one of the creatures whom Eli had told her had no honor and lived to cause terror, but Kalen wasn’t threatening her now. He was offering her protection, a welcome none of the others had ever given her.
She wondered what other lies she’d been told about the Outcasts.
Kalen was frowning at her now. “Is something wrong?”
She shook her head sharply. She felt his suspicion, his sudden wariness of a trap. “I have never met another Clanless one,” she told him truthfully. “I was taken by surprise, that’s all. I’m Renee.”
He relaxed again, clearly sensing the truth of her words. “Then come, Renee. The Slayers are nearing. Can’t you feel them?”
She stretched out with her senses, surprised when she not only felt the approach of the Slayer but was able to identify him. Ronin. She shivered in sudden fear. If he’d wanted to kill her before, she was certain nothing would stop him now should he find her in Kalen’s company. “Let’s get out of here,” she said urgently. “Ronin’s close.”
Kalen blinked, clearly surprised, but didn’t waste time commenting. Renee followed him as he ran quickly around the corner before shifting into the form of a stray dog. Hurry, hide yourself, he thought at her.
She shuddered at the touch of his mind. It felt unclean, almost oily, but she didn’t let herself dwell on it. He was right. She needed to hide but she had never taken the form of an animal before, not even with Eli’s help. She merged her mind completely with Kalen’s, studying the form of the dog, holding it in her mind and trying to shift her body into the unfamiliar shape.
He was startled but didn’t hesitate to help her. Seconds later, Renee looked down and saw paws instead of feet. Smells assailed her suddenly super-sensitive nose. She shook her head to clear it and a bubble of laughter rose in her throat at the strange sensation of her new, baggy lips flapping. Her laugh emerged as a yipping bark and she felt another strange sensation.
Her backside was shaking. It took her a moment to realize her tail was wagging.
Kalen nipped her flank to urge her into motion. He will find us, he sent urgently. If it
truly is Ronin, as you say, he will see through this disguise quickly enough. We must get out of here, now! He took off at a run, his claws clicking on the dirty sidewalk.
Renee concentrated on blurring her thought patterns, disrupting the distinctive edge of her brainwaves to cloak herself from Ronin should he scan for them. Kalen suddenly skidded to a halt and she plowed into him before she could stop her momentum, then fought not to laugh again when he jumped about a foot straight up into the air. You’re there!
She did laugh at that, the strange yipping not unpleasant in her ears. Where else would I be? she replied.
His unmistakable admiration filled her mind. I cannot sense you at all!
Her laughter died and she stared at him in confusion. Can you not cloak yourself too? she asked, startled. She’d assumed everyone could do it.
He shook his head slowly, the dog’s dark eyes solemn as they surveyed her. You must teach us this, he thought. The Slayers sense us, as we sense them. As you sense Ronin. How can you hide so completely?
Renee’s puzzlement grew. Suddenly she felt Ronin, much closer this time. We’ll talk about it later, she cut him off, panicking. He’s looking for us. I think he feels you. Almost without thought, she extended the shielding umbrella of her power over Kalen, trying to cloak him from Ronin’s sharply-searching mind-probe.
Kalen darted away and Renee followed, hoping she was doing this right. She couldn’t stand it if Ronin killed Kalen. So far she hadn’t seen one thing to convince her that he was an evil monster. In fact, he had welcomed her more warmly than any of the League, had allowed her access to his mind and helped her to alter her form when she hadn’t been able to do it on her own.
They ran full-out for many blocks before Kalen led her into a small park, his sides heaving as he panted to catch his breath. Renee was in no better shape, and the strain of cloaking them both was starting to catch up with her. A quick scan didn’t reveal any evidence of Ronin and she dropped the spell from around Kalen gratefully.
Amelia Elias - [Guardian's League 02] - Outcast Page 15