Volume 6 - The Wavering of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  Haruhi and Tsuruya-san start to clap like monkeys, and my sister follows, while the seemingly totally stymied Asahina-san goes along as well. Seeing Nagato, with a cat on her lap also clapping along without making a noise, I clap my hands as well.

  Way to go, Koizumi.

  The prize is a tiny, electroplated trophy. On the trophy, a cat is engraved doing a headstand, made in manga style. From the looks of it, it looks somewhat like Shamisen. Since Haruhi and Tsuruya-san have already taken a ‘V’ pose, shoulder to shoulder with the trophy up high, I can get on with taking their pictures to commemorate the event. Shamisen the First and Second are of course included in the scene.

  A while afterwards, Mori-san and Arakawa-san send out the Toshikoshi-soba earlier than expected. Haruhi and Tsuruya-san immediately start to gorge on the meal, while Koizumi over to the side doesn’t even lift his chopsticks. Oh yes, I have never seen him chowing down on food.

  “How did you like the skit?”

  This is a rarity, for even in the fantasia yesterday, Koizumi had not asked my opinion with such an unsure smile. Although I did not want to praise his self-production and acting-

  “That should be fine right?”

  I drank the noodle sauce, with broth and Nagi added to the mix.

  “Haruhi’s mood is as good as it ever gets. You should be happy with that.”

  “Having heard you say that is an honor. My hard work has finally paid off, for ultimately this detective drama was made to appease Suzumiya-san.”

  You appeased her alright, but you had me lost totally. Asahina-san, who was just as confused, is still trying to make sense of it with her notebook open.

  “That one is the one at two, and this is the one at three. The cat arrived at between two to three… or was it two thirty? Umm… mew mew.”

  I chew away at my soba with a deeply concerned look. The person most confused would be my sister, but she is lying down on the floor and eating away as if she doesn’t even care about the mystery.

  I take a breath of relief seeing Nagato’s appetite back to normal, with that female calico on her lap. When it comes down to it, having everyone acting as usual is the bottom line, although the strangely out of line Koizumi is still trying to get sympathy from me:

  “My mind has been totally occupied by this event ever since the winter co-ed was announced. Thanks to everyone, I am finally free. I hate being the culprit, and I am not really killer material. I am also happy to resign the role of the detective. I am best as a commentator.”

  I think that the role of the commentator should be abolished. It’s fine so long as nothing happens that would require you to blabber away endlessly-

  -an idea just flashed before my mind!

  “This murder drama didn’t need to be acted out, right? It simply follows your script. If that’s how it is, then wouldn’t it be fine to just give people printed scenario scripts and leave it at that?”

  Koizumi’s face seems to be stuck as if noodles were stuck in his throat, and following that he murmurs out a sound like a heavyweight challenger who had been struck in the head, with nonstop bleeding and the doctor telling him to throw in the towel.

  “…I suppose that’s true.” He doesn’t seem to want to admit it.

  “Oh yes, Koizumi-kun,”

  Haruhi speaks while asking for a refill from Mori-san,

  “I leave next summer up to you as well. We’ve already been to a lone island and a snow mountain, so the stage next time should be something even more suspenseful, such as a place with some odd name. Anywhere is fine, even overseas. Hey, how about a castle? An old fortification made of stone is the perfect setting.”

  Haruhi has effectively scrapped Koizumi and my desire, as she swings her chopsticks around like a conductor’s baton.

  “I know a great place! My dad has a friend who happens to own a castle overseas!”

  Tsuruya-san has ‘delivered’ without fail and goes along with Haruhi. This is just great; now Haruhi is in an even more elated mood than before.

  “Hear that? Everyone had better get their passport done before summer vacation, alright!”

  I look on to Koizumi, and simultaneously sigh in defeat. We cannot withstand the battering of the joined forces of Haruhi and Tsuruya-san as a duo. I, after all, am only a minor character whose task it is to persuade Haruhi to give up on her plan to conquer the world. Koizumi is only the SOS Brigade’s expert drama producer. It might be easier to deal with opponents out of nowhere than the Titanic Sisters.

  It looks like if I don’t think of something, the SOS Brigade will spawn an overseas division sooner or later. I hope that the situation then won’t become totally uncontrollable - I say this to myself, in the depths of my ears, with my deficient language skills.

  This would be the first time ever that I am to spend New Year’s Eve without television.

  Mori-san and the others are all taking part in the second round of Sugoroku. This is easy on Haruhi but hard on me, and without any notice, we’re already into nighttime. The lavish feast and time for chatting have gone by, and midnight is quickly approaching while we squander the time away; when we finally notice the hour, the year’s about to end.

  “When we wake up tomorrow morning, we can start the Fude Hajime and the Hanetsuki tournament.”

  Would you let us have some Zouni before anything else?

  “Of course, that’s a must for New Year’s. After all, we couldn’t be satisfied with just playing Fukuwarai.”

  Haruhi stares at the clock on the wall.

  “It’s bad if we don’t visit the temple.”

  It’s not that bad. No matter how easygoing the buddhas are, they no doubt won’t want to see you paying tribute to them. The shrine that we used for backdrop during the filming of that movie probably has posted warning signs out to forbid us from visiting them.

  “What’re you talking about? To be so blessed as to be in a country where all sorts of religions are practiced, it would be a shame not to do everything. Besides, why not celebrate New Year’s as we’ve already done Christmas? The idea of not celebrating New Year’s is like having already reserved for a banquet and leaving after only looking at the utensils! That’s why we definitely have to be there for the temple visit!”

  Well then, why not dig a snow cave out in the courtyard, and put in a donation bin and a little shrine? Well inside the cave, a Miko-wardrobe clad Asahina-san would be the resident deity. That way we wouldn’t have to run to some temple, and I would devoutly worship through day and night, and after that, followers will no doubt flock in, and with that kind of influx of people, the donation bin will definitely not be empty.

  “Idiot!”

  Haruhi holds onto the sweet shoulder of Asahina-san.

  “Although it is hard to just not have Mikuru-chan dressed as a Miko, I want to see her in a long sleeve kimono first! Although that would be fine to do when the co-ed is over and we’re back at home. Let’s go to some nearby temple or shrine! Ahh, of course Yuki has to get dressed up too! Myself as well.”

  Asahina-san’s ear lobe is now reddish from Haruhi biting on it. Haruhi nods after having a look at the clock.

  “Everyone, it’s time.”

  On Haruhi’s direction, we sit in a circle. The five SOS Brigade members not withstanding, Tsuruya-san has also become a part of the circle, and my sister along with the two cats are sitting beside her. The temporary quartet of the Tamaru brothers, the maid and the butler also are invited in by Haruhi. Are you sure that’s alright? If things don’t go well, you’ll all be bossed around as honorary members.

  However, nobody is taking heed of my concern, as everyone shows unique smiles. Obviously, a person who is still frowning about at this point would be facing rough times ahead, so I drop my complaints.

  On Haruhi’s order, we all bow, and say that all-too-common phrase together.

  That is a phrase which we say year after year because we’re all out of ideas, and it’d be weird to use something else as a substitute. A
sentence that is in five-five-five format. (Akemashite Omedetou Gozaiimasu, or Happy New Year)

  The Melancholy of Asahina Mikuru

  Even though many incidents happened during winter break, it more or less turned out to be as I expected, just like getting nothing in return after purchasing a lottery ticket. As I reluctantly trudged through the cold, I silently blamed the school’s lame construction as it made the already freezing temperature seem even colder.

  Trying not to suspect the cold of being a top-secret counter-measure made to combat global warming, I tried to fix my eyes elsewhere, but they so happened to land on the classroom’s malfunctioning heater, making me wonder if our classroom was actually colder than the north pole itself. Thinking about how I would have to suffer the same fate until I graduated from high school, I was embarrassed at myself for not choosing a better school. But alas, what could I do? I was already stuck at North High.

  After school, having nothing better to do, I once again made my way to the clubroom.

  Originally belonging to the literature club, the club room had, during the past year, slowly morphed into the SOS Brigade’s official headquarters (although I’m not sure “official” is the right word to use). Just like a mother bird gradually forgetting about its own young and treating a cuckoo’s baby as its own, the whole school seemed to have forgotten about the literature club’s existence. Added to the fact that the sole literature club member didn’t mind us occupying her club room, even I wasn’t bothered by it much anymore, never mind Haruhi.

  No matter how you looked at it, this was the only place I could go after school hours. Although I did intend to skip club activities once in a while, the thought of a certain girl sitting behind me trying to drill holes in my back with her killer intent fired through high intensity vision beams was enough to vanquish any attempt of any kind. It simply wasn’t worth the risk. However, I wasn’t sure if I was making the right choice, or merely the easy one.

  With those thoughts in mind, I instinctively knocked on the door, having arrived at the club room without even knowing it. If I were to enter without first knocking, there was a good chance I would be greeted with a sight as beautiful as heaven to behold. However, I’d rather make that small, often insignificant gesture, in order to ensure something like that doesn’t ever happen again.

  Under normal circumstances, I would often be answered with a soft “Yes,” as the door was slowly opened by my smiling sempai, whose appearance was angelic to say the least. She was so beautiful she could easily pass as a fairy, pixie or elf in disguise. Waiting for her to open the door was an after-school ritual that I had comfortably gotten used to.

  “………………………”

  There was no answer. Hence it was safe to conclude that there were no fairies, pixies, elves or smiling board game freaks in the club room. Even if there were someone inside, it would be the silent book-lover. Not even Haruhi was inside. This I was willing to wager my most prized possession, second only to my life, on.

  Having reached this conclusion, I boldly opened the door, as if opening the door to the refrigerator in my house.

  Of course, Haruhi wasn’t inside, nor Koizumi, and to my surprise, not even Nagato.

  But———

  Asahina-san was.

  …she sat on one of those steel folding chairs, holding her broom in one hand, and wearing a look that suggested that she was spacing out

  Her hot figure was impossible to conceal under that maid outfit, as she sat on one of those steel folding chairs, holding her broom in one hand, and wearing a look that suggested that she was spacing out. There was no doubt, it was our beloved Asahina-san all right.

  Wait, something wasn’t right.

  She was totally oblivious of me entering the club room, as she sat there gazing into space, occasionally letting out a sigh or two. It was simply amazing. Even simple gestures like that could be watched over and over on tape, and still be equally beautiful.

  I admired the beautiful scene before me for a full minute, before I proceeded to wake her up.

  “Asahina-san?”

  The desired effect was instantaneous.

  “Eh? Ah? Ah! Yes!”

  Jumping up from her seat, Asahina-san looked at me with eyes full of surprise, as she tightly clutched her broom in a half sitting position.

  “Ahhhh, Kyon-kun…. When did you arrive?”

  What do you mean when, I clearly remember I knocked.

  “Eh, d-did you? I d-didn’t hear it at all…… S-sorry.”

  Asahina-san’s face turned a deep shade of pink, as she nervously answered my question. “Umm… I was thinking about some… ehh…. stuff…”

  Asahina-san hurriedly stuffed the broom into a utility closet Haruhi nicked not too long ago, before raising her head to face me. The expression she wore was also fantastic! Anything she did was fantastic! Asahina-san banzai! If it weren’t for me constantly reminding myself not to, I would have surely rushed forward and cuddled her in my arms, which is what I’ve always wanted to do. Well, what are you waiting for then? Just do it! Nay, hold on a second, try to think about what would happen to both you and the world… Just as the war between the angels and demons in my mind was fast coming to a conclusion—-

  “Where’s Suzumiya-san? Isn’t she with you?”

  Those miserably short sentences were enough to bring me back to reality. Oh crap, I had almost caused another major disaster, one that involved the fate of the world. Again. Pretending as if nothing had happened, which was partially true after all, I calmly placed my bag on the desk.

  “That girl’s in charge of class duty today. She’s probably sweeping the auditorium right now.”

  “I see…”

  As if uninterested in Haruhi’s current whereabouts, Asahina-san once again closed her cherry lips.

  Even though I wasn’t really good at guessing Asahina-san’s thoughts, I could clearly tell something was different with today’s Asahina-san. The time-traveler would usually welcome me into the club room with a smile as bright as a flower in the sun (of course, most of the glow was due to my imagination), along with her clear, hazel eyes and soft, silky hair, while giving out an aura of absolute sweetness. Today, however, she radiated a sense of melancholy.

  With the words “troubled” clearly written all over her face, Asahina-san stood there looking at me, her hands twirling furiously in her lap, as if she had to convey an extremely difficult message. Sadly, it wasn’t due to her being unable to confess her love towards me. I’ve only seen this Asahina-san once, and it didn’t take long for the memory to once again resurface. This was the same expression Asahina-san wore when she unexpectedly begged me to follow her (for the first time) to the past, or more specifically, to the 7th of July three years ago, the day of the Tanabata Festival.

  Half a year had passed since then, and while Asahina-san has grown even cuter, I unfortunately remain that idiot who always succumbs to a woman’s charm. Although I knew that this had more-or-less something to do with Haruhi or the current state of the SOS Brigade, I consoled myself yet again by saying “Oh never mind, that isn’t so bad either”. No matter what Asahina-san said, I would never remain startled for too long, never mind refuse her offer.

  As I was busy trying to imprint Asahina-san’s red maid outfit as my homework, it appeared that she finally made up her mind, as she opened her round lips and said:

  “K-kyon-kun, I-I have a favor to ask…”

  Creak.

  The door to the club room softly opened, as if trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. With a swish~ it slowly slid open. I instinctively turned my head backwards, only to see the short-haired, poker-faced girl silently enter the room.

  Like an android, Nagato proceeded to close the door.

  “………………”

  Taking a swift glance at me and Asahina-san, it seemed that Nagato understood that she was intruding. Nevertheless, she said nothing and merely headed to her regular seat.

  With her
face devoid of any emotion, Nagato sat on her chair before pulling out a large hardcover from her bag. If she had shown any interest in me and Asahina-san staring face-to-face in an empty club room, it was far outweighed by that book which would be better off being called an encyclopedia, the title alone being enough to give anyone a headache.

  Let’s just ignore the fact of who reacted first. Asahina-san’s actions would always be larger than mine, and consequently, more obvious.

  “A-Ah, that’s right. Tea. Let me make some tea.”

  As if wanting the entire world to know what she was about to do, Asahina-san deliberately raised her voice as she stumbled towards the kettle.

  “Water, water.”

  Cradling the kettle in her arms, Asahina-san hurriedly opened the door to the refrigerator.

  “Kyaa~ We’re out of water… Not to worry, I’ll go fetch some.”

  I stopped her, just as she was about to hurry out of the club room.

  “Let me help you with that”

  I stretched out my hand to retrieve the kettle from my senpai.

  “It’s already cold enough outside. Should you step out in that outfit, you’d inevitably poison other students’ eyes. There’s no need to provide free eye candy for anyone. The water fountain’s just downstairs. I’ll just go and get it…”

  Upon hearing this, Asahina-san immediately said:

  “A-ah, then I’ll go with you.”

  Asahina-san looked at me with eyes like those of a cat being left alone in the rain. She is so cute! Cuteness aside, however, this was also quite a troubling situation. Even now Asahina-san is still not accustomed to being alone with Nagato-san. Someone should definitely break the ice between them. But come to think of it, having both an alien and a time-traveler co-exist together in a small club room was already quite an amazing feat. I suppose it all boils down to who’s involved, huh?