Life and Death

by Stephenie Meyer

  Phil helped, too, and Allen and his dad, Reverend Weber. Jeremy walked behind Allen. Even Bonnie Black held on to one of the brass handles while Jules pushed her chair.

  In the crowd, I saw almost every person I knew from school. Most were in black, and lots of them were holding each other and crying. It kind of surprised me—I didn’t know many of them very well. I guessed they were just crying because it was sad in general, someone dying when they were only seventeen. It probably made them think about their own mortality and all of that.

  One group of people stood out—Carine, Earnest, Archie, Jessamine, Royal, and Eleanor, all in light gray. They held themselves straighter than anyone else, and even from a distance their skin was obviously different … at least to a vampire’s eyes.

  It all seemed to take a really long time. Lowering the casket, the reverend giving some kind of speech—a sermon?—my mom and dad each throwing a flower into the hole after the casket, everyone awkwardly forming the obligatory line to speak to my parents. I wished they would let my mom leave. She was sagging into Phil, and I knew she needed to lie down. Charlie was holding up better, but he looked brittle. Jules wheeled Bonnie over so that she was behind him, a little to the side. Bonnie reached forward and took Charlie’s hand. It looked like that helped some. This put Jules in a position where I could see her face really well, and I kind of wished I couldn’t.

  Carine and the rest of the Cullens were near the end of the line. We watched as they made their way slowly to the front. They were quick with my mom—they’d never met her before. Archie brought a chair up for my mom to sit in, and Phil thanked him; I wondered if Archie had seen that she was going to fall.

  Carine spent more time with Charlie. I knew she was apologizing for Edythe’s absence, explaining that she’d been too distraught to come. This was more than just an excuse for Edythe to be with me today, it was laying groundwork for the next school year, when Edythe would continue to be so distraught that Earnest would decide to homeschool her.

  I watched as Bonnie and Jules left while Charlie was still talking to Carine. Bonnie threw a dark glance back at the Cullens, then suddenly stared in my direction.

  Of course she couldn’t see us. I glanced around, trying to figure out what she was looking at. I realized that Eleanor was looking at us, too—she had no trouble spotting us, and she was trying very hard not to smile; Eleanor never took anything seriously. Bonnie must have wondered what Eleanor was staring at.

  Bonnie looked away after a few seconds. She said something to Jules. They continued out to their car.

  The Cullens left after the Blacks. The line dwindled, and finally my parents were free. Phil took my mom away quickly; the reverend gave them a ride. Charlie stayed alone while the funeral home employees filled the hole in. He didn’t watch. He sat in the chair that my mom had used and stared away to the north.

  I felt my face working, trying to find the expression that went with my grief. My eyes were too dry; I blinked against the uncomfortable feeling. When I took my next breath, the air hitched out of my throat, like I was choking on it.

  Edythe’s arms wrapped tight around my waist. I buried my face in her hair.

  “I’m so sorry, Beau. I never wanted this for you.”

  I just nodded.

  We sat like that for a long time.

  She nudged me when Charlie left, so I could watch him drive away.

  “Do you want to go home?” she asked.

  “Maybe in a little while.”

  “All right.”

  We stared at the mostly empty cemetery. It was starting to get darker. A few employees were cleaning up chairs and trash. One of them took away the big picture of me—my school picture from the beginning of junior year, back in Phoenix. I’d never liked that one much. I hardly recognized the boy with the uncertain blue eyes and the halfhearted smile. It was difficult to remember being him. Hard to imagine how he must have looked to Edythe, back in the beginning.

  “You never wanted this for me,” I said slowly. “What did you want? How did you see things happening—going with the fact that I was always going to be in love with you?”

  She sighed. “Best-case scenario? I hoped that … I would get strong enough that we could be together while you were human. That we could be … something more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. Someday, if you didn’t outgrow me, more than just husband and wife. We wouldn’t be able to grow old together, but I would have stayed with you while you grew old. I would have been with you through all the years of your life.” She paused for a second. “And then, when your life was over … I wouldn’t have wanted to stay without you. I would have found a way to follow.”

  She looked startled when I laughed. It wasn’t a very robust laugh, but I was surprised that it felt good.

  “That was a really, really horrible idea,” I told her. “Can you imagine? When people thought I was your dad? Your granddad? I’d probably get locked up.”

  She smiled hesitantly. “That wouldn’t have bothered me. And if anyone had locked you up, I would have busted you out.”

  “But you would have married me?” I asked. “Really?”

  Now she smiled wider. “I still will. Archie’s seen it.”

  I blinked a few times. “Wow. I’m … super flattered. You would really marry me, Edythe?”

  “Is that a proposal?”

  I thought for half a second. “Sure. Sure it is. Will you?”

  She threw her arms around me. “Of course I will. Whenever you want.”

  “Wow,” I said again. I hugged her back, and kissed the top of her head. “I think I could have done better with the other version, though.”

  She leaned back to look at me, and her face was sad again. “Any other way ended here, too.”

  “But there could have been … a better goodbye.” I didn’t want to think about what my last words to Charlie were, but they were constantly on my mind. It was the biggest regret I had. I was glad the memory wasn’t sharp, and I only hoped it would fade more with time. “What if we had gotten married? You know, graduated together, put in a few years at college, then had a great big wedding where we invited everyone we knew? Let them all see us happy together. Give really sappy speeches—have a reason to tell everyone how much we love them. Then go away again, back to school somewhere far away… .”

  She sighed. “That sounds nice. But you end up with a double funeral in the end.”

  “Maybe. Maybe we’d be really busy for a year, and when I’m a mature vampire and all under control, I could see them again… .”

  “Riiiight,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And then all we have to worry about is never aging … and getting on the bad side of the Volturi… . I’m sure that would end well.”

  “Okay, okay, you’re right. There’s no other version.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said quietly again.

  “Either way, though, Edythe. If I hadn’t been dumb enough to run off and meet that tracker”—she hissed, but I kept talking—“it would only have delayed things. We still end up here. You’re the life I choose.”

  She smiled—slowly at first, but then suddenly her smile was huge and dimpled. “It feels like my life never had a point until I found you. You’re the life I was waiting for.”

  I took her face in my hands and kissed her while the branch swayed back and forth under us. I never could have imagined a life like this. There was a heavy price to pay, but one I would have chosen to pay even if I’d had all the time in the world to consider.

  We both felt it when her phone vibrated in her pocket.

  I figured it would be Eleanor, sarcastically wondering if we’d gotten lost on our way back, but then Edythe answered the phone, “Carine?”

  She listened for just one second, her eyes flying open. I could hear Carine’s voice trilling at top speed on the other end. Edythe shoved off the branch, phone still in hand.

  “I’m coming,” she promised as she fell toward the ground, breaking her fall with a branch here an
d there. I swung down quickly after her. She was already running when I hit the ground, and she didn’t slow for me to catch up.

  It must be really serious.

  I ran flat out, using all the extra strength that I had because I was new. It was enough to keep her in sight as she sprinted across the most direct route back to the house. My strides were almost three times as long as hers, but still, chasing her was like chasing a bolt of lightning.

  It was only when we were close to the house that she let me catch up.

  “Be careful,” she warned me. “We have visitors.”

  And then she was off again. I pushed myself even harder to try to match her. I didn’t have a positive perception of visitors. I didn’t want her to meet them without me next to her.

  I could hear snarling before we were at the river. Edythe kept her leap low and straight, hurtling up the lawn. The metal shutters were down across the glass wall. She ran around the south end of the house. I was on her heels the whole way.

  She darted over the railing onto the porch. All the Cullens were there, huddled into a tight, defensive cluster. Carine was a few steps in front of them, though I could tell no one was happy to have her there. She was leaning toward the steps, staring forward, a pleading look on her face. Edythe lunged to her side, and something snarled in the darkness in front of the house.

  I launched myself onto the porch, and Eleanor yanked my arm back when I tried to go to Edythe.

  “Let her translate,” Eleanor murmured.

  Ready to rip out of her hands—not even Eleanor was strong enough to stop me while I was so young—I looked out past Carine to see the vampires we were facing. I’m not sure what I was expecting. A large group, maybe, since the Cullens seemed so defensive.

  I wasn’t prepared to see three horse-sized wolves.

  They weren’t growling now—all of their massive heads were up, their noses pointing at me.

  The one in the lead—pitch-black and larger than either of the others, though they were both three times bigger than I’d ever dreamed a wolf could get—took a step forward, his teeth bared.

  “Sam,” Edythe said sharply. The wolf’s head swung around to face her. “You have no right to be here. We haven’t broken the treaty.”

  The black monster-wolf snarled at her.

  “They didn’t attack,” Carine said to Edythe. “I don’t know what they want.”

  “They want us to leave. They were trying to drive you out.”

  “But why?” Carine asked.

  The wolves seemed to be listening intently to every word. Could they understand?

  “They thought we broke the treaty—that we killed Beau.”

  The big wolf growled, long and low. It sounded like a saw being dragged over chain-link.

  “But—,” Carine began.

  “Obviously,” Edythe answered before she could finish. “They still think we broke the treaty—that we chose to change him ourselves.”

  Carine looked at the wolves. “I can promise you, that’s not how this happened.”

  The one Edythe called Sam kept up the long growl. Flecks of saliva dripped from his exposed fangs.

  “Beau,” Edythe murmured. “Can you tell them? They aren’t going to believe us.”

  I’d been frozen solid this whole time. I tried to shake off the surprise as I moved to stand by Edythe.

  “I don’t understand. What are they? What treaty are you talking about?” I whispered the words fast, but it was obvious from the wolves’ alert ears and watchful eyes that they were listening. Wolves that understood English? Eleanor had said Edythe was translating. Did she speak wolf?

  “Beau,” Edythe said in a louder voice. “These are the Quileute wolves. You remember the story?”

  “The—” I stared at the massive animals. “They’re werewolves?”

  The black wolf growled louder, but the dark brown one in the back blew out a funny huff that sounded almost like a laugh.

  “Not exactly,” Edythe said. “A long time ago, we made a treaty with another pack leader. They think we’ve violated it. Can you tell them how you were transformed?”

  “Uh, okay …” I looked at the black wolf, who seemed to be in charge. “I’m, uh, Beau Swan—”

  “She knows who you are. You met Sam once—at the beach in La Push.”

  She. The cloudy human memories distracted me for a short second. I remembered the tall woman at La Push. And Jules saying that the wolves were her sisters. That her great-great-grandmother had made a treaty with the cold ones.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “Just explain to her what happened.”

  “Right.” I looked at the wolf again, trying to picture the tall woman somehow inside it. “Uh, a few weeks ago, there was a tracker—er, a vampire tracker—who came through here. She liked the way I smelled. The Cullens told her to back off. She left, but Edythe knew she was planning to try to kill me. I went back to Phoenix to hide out till the Cullens could … well, take care of her, you know. But the tracker figured out where I was and caught up to me. It was a game to her, a game with the Cullens—I was just a pawn. But she didn’t want to just kill me. She … I guess you could say she was playing with her food. The Cullens found me before she could kill me, but she’d already bitten me. Hey—do we still have the video?” I glanced over at Edythe, who was staring at the wolves. She shook her head. I turned back to Sam. “That’s too bad. The tracker was filming the whole thing. I could have shown you exactly what happened.”

  The wolves looked at each other. Edythe’s eyes were narrowed as she concentrated on what they were thinking. Suddenly the black wolf was staring at her again.

  “That’s acceptable,” Edythe said. “Where?”

  The black wolf huffed, and then all three were backing away from the house. When they got to the edge of the trees, they turned and ran into the forest.

  The Cullens all converged on Edythe.

  “What happened?” Carine asked.

  “They aren’t sure what to do,” Edythe said. “They were asked to clear us out. Sam is the actual chief of the tribe, but only in secret. She’s not a direct descendant of the chief we made a treaty with. They want us to talk to the acting chief, the true great-granddaughter of the last wolf-chief.”

  “But—wouldn’t that be Bonnie?” I gasped.

  Edythe looked at me. “Yes. They want to meet at a neutral location so that Bonnie can see you and make the call.”

  “See me? But I can’t get that close… .”

  “You can do it, Beau,” Edythe said. “You’re the most rational newborn I’ve ever seen.”

  “It’s true,” Carine agreed. “I’ve never seen someone adapt so easily. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a decade old.”

  It wasn’t that I thought they were lying—just that maybe they didn’t get the magnitude of what they were proposing. “But it’s Bonnie. She’s my dad’s best friend. What if I hurt her?”

  “We’ll be there,” Eleanor said. “We won’t let you do anything stupid.”

  “Actually … ,” Edythe said.

  Eleanor looked at her, shocked.

  “They asked that we bring no more than their pack—only three. I already agreed. Beau has to be one, I have to be one, and the other needs to be Carine.”

  It was clear Eleanor was hurt.

  “Is that safe?” Earnest asked.

  Edythe shrugged. “It’s not an ambush.”

  “Or they hadn’t decided to make it one. Not yet,” Jessamine said.

  She was standing protectively by Archie, and there was something wrong with him. He looked a little dazed.

  “Archie?” I asked. I’d never seen him look like … like he was behind things instead of ahead of them.

  “I didn’t see them,” he whispered. “I didn’t know they were coming. I can’t see now—I can’t see this meeting. It’s like it doesn’t exist.”

  I could see that this was news only to me. The others had heard it before we’d arrived, and Edyt
he had already picked it out of his head.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “We don’t know,” Edythe answered sharply. “And we don’t have time to figure it out now. We want to be there when they arrive. We don’t want them to have a chance to change their minds.”

  “It will be fine,” Carine said to the others, her eyes on Earnest. “The wolves are just trying to protect the people here. They’re heroes, not villains.”

  “They think we’re villains,” Royal pointed out. “Heroes or not, Carine, we still have to accept that they’re our enemies.”

  “It doesn’t have to be that way,” Carine whispered.

  “And it doesn’t matter either way tonight,” Edythe said. “Tonight Beau needs to explain to Bonnie so that we don’t have to make the choice between leaving Forks and raising suspicions, or getting into a fight with three barely legal wolves who are just trying to protect their tribe.”

  “Archie can’t see if you’ll be in danger,” Jessamine reminded her.

  “We’ll be fine. Bonnie won’t want to hurt Beau.”

  “I’m not sure that’s true now. And I know she won’t have any problem watching you get hurt.”

  “I can hear the wolves just fine. They won’t take us by surprise.”

  “Tell us where to go,” Eleanor said. “We’ll keep our distance and only come in if you call.”

  “I promised. There’s no reason to go back on my word. We need them to see that they can trust us, now more than ever. No!” Edythe said as Jessamine apparently thought of another argument. “We don’t have time. We’ll be back soon.”

  Eleanor grumbled, but Edythe ignored her.

  “Beau, Carine, let’s go.”

  I took off after her, and I could hear Carine do the same. Edythe didn’t run as fast this time, and we both easily kept up.