by Alyse Zaftig
The pleasure I felt became the combination of pleasure and pain that always precedes an amazing orgasm, and I knew he felt it too, because we could no longer kiss. He put his face next to mine; our cheeks touched as he gripped my hair, and one, two, three bone jarring thrusts later I fell over the cliff as he yelled while embedded fully inside me.
He collapsed on top of me and I moved my legs down off his back, while we both practically hyperventilated. I came down from a high of such pure bliss that I surely had never experienced before. I didn’t want him to move and he didn’t seem inclined to do so, so we lay that way for a while, his hand on the back of my head, his face next to mine, as his body completely covered me.
I moved my hands from his head to around his back and gently held him. He moved his hand down from my hair to softly rub the back of my neck, while his other hand cupped my shoulder from behind. I realized that we were in an embrace, and that niggling romantic notion started to bug me again, but I firmly closed the door on it. For some reason I didn’t want this to end, even though I knew it had to soon. And the simple fact that I didn’t want it to end made me start to think about how to get out of there quickly.
You can’t have this in your life. He’d never want you if he knew what you really are.
He lifted his head and looked in my eyes and the moment felt so intimate that I started to wiggle out from under him. He held me in place and whispered, “It’s okay.” He kissed me so sweetly and gently that tears gathered in my eyes for the second time that night.
This had been so wonderful, more than I had ever thought was possible for me, and I knew it would never happen again. Even if he wanted it to, which I doubted, I couldn’t let it happen again because what had started out as no strings attached sex had turned into something that might possibly have touched my cracked heart, and that scared the shit out of me. Even so, I let him kiss me one more time.
“I have to go,” I said.
He looked into my eyes again, hesitated like he wanted to say something, but then he gently pulled out of me and moved to lie next to me. Suddenly I felt alone and cold, feelings I was familiar with, so I got up and gathered my bra and panties from the floor while he watched me put them on. I finger-combed my hair and then stood awkwardly in the room, hating the part to come. This part seemed really awful this time, when usually I felt nothing at all about leaving a man after sex.
“Um, I’m going to leave.” The rest of my clothes were in the foyer, and it was so excruciatingly awkward that I couldn’t look at him.
“Okay,” he said, as he got up off the bed, deposited the condom in the trash can and put his briefs on.
I walked out of the bedroom while he followed me down the hallway. He silently watched me, which added to my anxiety as I collected my clothes from the floor. Finally, I was dressed and I picked up my briefcase, ready to flee.
“Can I walk you home?” he said quietly, looking at me with something I thought was pity, and I felt panic set in. I needed to leave before this got any worse.
“Um, no, that’s okay, I live just down the street actually, over on Harbor Drive…”
“It’s late, I’d like to walk you.”
“No, it’s fine, I’m good,” I said, as he put one hand on the same wall that earlier he had held me up against.
“Then, can I have your number?” he said, after an uncomfortable pause. I shook my head.
“You’re just visiting a friend. There’s no point,” I said, as I walked the few steps to the door.
“Rose, that’s not really—”
“I can’t get the door open,” I interjected, humiliated that the dead bolt wouldn’t cooperate. He reached around me and grasped the deadbolt, but didn’t open it.
“You can stay,” he said softly, as his breath stirred my hair.
My heart beat double time as I said to the door, “I’ve got to go, the courthouse opens in a few hours.”
“The courthouse?”
“Yes, I’m a defense attorney,” I said, and I risked a glance at him when he didn’t respond. He looked shocked, and suddenly his face flooded with color.
“You’re a defense attorney,” he said without inflection. It wasn’t a question.
Christ, what was his problem? He didn’t think I was smart enough to be a lawyer?
Indifference slid over me like a soothing balm, and I was sure for the first time since I’d arrived in the apartment that I would be leaving it like I’d entered it, exactly the same. He said nothing else as he flipped open the lock. I stepped out into the hallway and closed it behind me without looking back.
Chapter 4
I stepped out of the shower the next morning, having thought about last night while I scrubbed it away. I had only had about 3 hours of sleep, and was a bit hung over, but of more concern to me was that thoughts of Jeremy were prominent in my mind. As I blew my hair dry, I closed my eyes and felt his hands on my breasts, heard him whisper my name, saw his face above me in the dark as he came.
Fuck.
I turned off the blow dryer with my hair still damp and walked into my bedroom, where music played. The sex had been amazing and I couldn’t seem to shake it off. But I had to. There was no other choice. I just needed to get to the courthouse, where I planned on doing some pro bono work for the town’s legal clinic.
I walked around my bedroom as I went through my morning routine. I put on another sexy bra and panties, navy blue this time, and sat on my bed while I rubbed my favorite scented lotion from Victoria’s Secret all over my body. I took care of my skin and wore beautiful underwear, because even though my clothes were my suit of armor, underneath was how I really wished I could show myself to the world. Not in my underclothes, but not hidden away, forced to live a solitary life lest the vampire became common knowledge. My clothes forced people to see only what their preconceived notions allowed them to, and most weren’t able to see how I had manipulated them.
Jeremy can.
I sighed as I tossed my lotion on my dresser and got up to look in my closet. A wall of suits greeted me in varying shades of dark blue and gray. I grabbed a skirt and a blazer, skimmed through my silk tanks and picked one at random. I stood in front of my full-length mirror and watched as any sexiness I had was swallowed up with each piece of clothing I put on. I twisted my blonde hair into a messy bun on top of my head, and secured it with the pin my sister had removed last night. I slipped my feet into my black heels, and my armor, with a few dings, was back in place.
I arrived at the courthouse at 8:30, with a pounding headache and an empty stomach. I was set to volunteer as lawyer-for-the-day, which meant that I would give people some free advice, which would be just about what the advice would be worth. I was not on my A game to say the least, so I was thankful that I wouldn’t be in front of the Judge. I was determined to put Jeremy out of my mind, since a normal future was out of the question for me. I didn’t date. I never had relationships. Who would want that with a monster?
I walked into the attorney conference room, which was little more than a broom closet without any brooms. At that moment it contained the nectar of the gods, otherwise known as coffee, so I bee-lined it over to the machine. I fixed it just the way I liked it, with lots of cream and sugar, and had just taken my first soul-soothing sip when I heard, “Psssst, Rose!” come from behind me.
“Joey Miller,” I said wearily to Joey Miller, as he leaned halfway into the broom closet. “Please tell me nothing. Just…No,” I said, as I waved one hand at him in a “Go Away” motion, while I drank half my coffee in one gulp and scalded the roof of my mouth.
“Rose, come on. Don’t be like that,” Joey said, as he came into the room.
“What is it?” I sighed.
“You remember Matt Davis, right?” I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond. Matt Davis had lived next door to my parents for the last 35 years.
“Um, okay,” he said, as he realized that I was, in fact, not going to respond.
“Well,” he said, as he l
ooked at me sheepishly, “the thing is that Matt got himself in a bit of a pickle over some parkin’ tickets. Ya know, forgot to pay a few or somethin’. No big deal. But the cops went to his house an hour ago and arrested him! Over a couple parkin’ tickets! I swear this town is going crazy with all these arrests lately over stupid shit. Makes me wanna run for office or—”
“Joey! Get to the point,” I said, as other attorneys came into the closet. One or two gave me a side-long glance because we were supposed to talk to clients in the hallway. Since I didn’t care what they thought, I finished my coffee with another gulp and then filled my cup again, draining the pot to empty. For this, the side long glances turned into glares. I gestured for Joey to continue.
“Okay, well Matt called me, ‘cause I’m his one call, ya know? So, I’m calling you, Rose, ‘cause you’re my one call,” he said earnestly. Even my cantankerous nature softened a little at that. Not completely however, since I was tempted to point out that he hadn’t actually called me. But I refrained.
“So, he’s locked up downstairs and needs me to represent him,” I concluded.
“Yeah, they’re bringin’ him up soon.”
“Okay, no problem, Joey,” I told him, even though I knew that between these two guys the only payment I could expect to receive would be another phone call. I dumped my coffee cup, grabbed my briefcase, and left the broom closet with Joey in tow. I waded through the sea of people in the hallway to the Clerk’s office, to let them know I had a case, and lawyer-for-the-day would have to start after lunch. Then I stopped at Records to pick up Matt Davis’s file, knowing before I opened it that he would never be arrested for “a couple” unpaid parking tickets.
As I walked back down the hallway, I noticed that the usual suspects had arrived for the days’ entertainment. In some towns, the gathering place for gossip was the coffee shop, or church, but in my town it was the courthouse. People that didn’t have much to do would come to the courthouse every day and watch from the gallery, as various citizens were paraded out for public discipline. And the gossips loved it. You’d think we were back in the days of the Salem Witch Hunt, with the glee some people showed about having something to tell their friends later.
Even so, the amount of people seemed larger than normal, and I wondered why. I hadn’t heard of any special case being tried that day. I followed the crowd into the packed courtroom, with the intention of reading the file while I waited for the case to be called, when the Clerk said “Commonwealth vs. Matthew Davis”. I saw that Matt was already waiting at the defense table. He looked around as the Judge said, “Do you have representation Mr. Davis?”
“Yes, your Honor,” I said, as I pushed through the swinging half-door that separated the gallery from the rest of the courtroom, and the low hum of the chatter in the gallery ramped up a bit. I stepped up next to Matt, gave him a reassuring pat on the arm and said, “I apologize, your Honor. I just received my client’s file.”
“Attorney Brennan, you’re back so soon,” said the Judge with an amused expression, and people chuckled from behind me in the gallery. I swear some people thought this place was their very own live version of Judge Judy.
“It’s always a pleasure, your Honor,” I said with a smile, as I thought that at least in this corner of my world I knew what to expect.
“Have you met the new Assistant District attorney?” the Judge asked. Surprised, I looked over at the prosecution table, and my eyes collided with a very familiar pair of blue ones.
“No, your Honor, we haven’t met,” I said after an uncomfortable silence.
“Rose Brennan, meet Jeremy Abbott.”
Chapter 5
The courtroom was absolutely silent, while inside my head a war was raging. Holy fucking shit, I thought as I stared at Jeremy, whose last name was apparently Abbott. My mind screamed the obvious—he was the new Assistant District attorney and I had slept with him last night. The silence was tinted with anticipation, and from that I realized that most of the people in the gallery already knew about this dramatic turn of events. And now I knew why more people were here today than usual. This was some juicy gossip.
My mind processed the fact that Jeremy seemed completely different in a suit and tie, at the same time that my body betrayed me by reacting to how amazing he looked. My eyes locked with his, and the heavy beat of my heart was in my throat. Suddenly, he became someone to Take Seriously, instead of a guy I’d met in a bar.
“Welcome, counselor,” I said, as I finally managed to get a grip and pull my eyes from his. I looked down at the table, and waited for him to say some platitude so we could move on from this terribly awkward moment.
Instead, Jeremy stayed silent. I stared at the table as the seconds ticked by, and I wondered what the hell he was doing. The scene he made by not speaking, was worse than if he had yelled at me. I glanced up at the Judge as my face started to flush with embarrassment. The Judge was looking at Jeremy with a curious expression, and I started to sweat in unfortunate places.
Finally, Jeremy said, “It’s very nice to see you this morning, Rose.” I looked over at him, astonished that he would talk to me in such a familiar way and imply that we had seen each other before. I watched as his eyes slid quickly down my body, and I inhaled sharply as I turned away. He may as well have touched me with the way my body reacted.
“Let’s get underway,” said the Judge, and I tried to act composed while my heart raced. The courtroom was still hushed as the clerk began to read out the charges.
“The defendant Matthew Davis is charged with having 374 unpaid parking tickets, a 2nd degree misdemeanor.” The quiet ended as people began to talk at once, including me as I looked at Matt and said, “You have got to be kidding me.”
“I didn’t know it was that many, Rose! I thought it was just like a hundred or so…” He trailed off as I looked at him incredulously. He flushed, but the volume of chatter from the gallery behind us didn’t lessen.
“Order in the court!” said the court officer sternly, and people immediately stopped their excited yammering.
“Your Honor,” I said, as Matt started to poke me in the ribs with his thumb, “I haven’t had a chance to speak to my client, or review the charges. May we have a 15-minute recess?” I finished on a rush because Matt wouldn’t stop poking me.
“What!” I said to him in a loud whisper, as I grabbed his thumb and twisted it to stop the infernal poking. This began a tug of war between us as I refused to let go of his thumb.
“I want to plead guilty, Rose,” he said loudly, as he tried to jerk his thumb out of my grasp.
“Why?” I asked, exasperated, as I finally let go and placed my hand over my poor rib cage.
“Because I did the wrong thing and I owe the money,” he said in a lower voice. I looked at him and realized why he and Joey Miller were friends. They were both sweet and a little naïve, without a malicious bone in their bodies.
“Are you sure, Matt?” I said.
“Yeah, Rose. I’ve gotta do the right thing. I never thought I’d get arrested,” he said, while he looked down at the table in front of us. It was obvious that he was embarrassed by the whole situation.
“I’m sorry, your Honor, but we don’t need a recess after all. My client is ready to plead,” I said, without looking at Jeremy.
“Okay, then. How does your client plead, counselor?” said the Judge.
“I’m guilty, Judge,” said Matt, and the gossips in the gallery started to chatter again.
“Are you prepared to discuss sentencing options, Attorney Abbott?” said the Judge.
“Yes, your Honor,” Jeremy replied. I refused to look at him, but his voice was like silk dragging along my skin. Goosebumps rose up on my arms as I recalled that same voice tell me last night that I was beautiful, and begged me to say his name while he was inside of me. I was trying so hard to keep my composure, but it was difficult when the memories of last night flooded over me.
“What is your recommendation?” asked the Judg
e.
“Each ticket is $20, so with 374 of them that would be $7,480,” Jeremy said, and I finally did look at him then. He continued, “In addition, there are court fees of $120, and late fees of $560, for a total of $8,160. When Mr. Davis pays that in full, the prosecution will agree to release him.” I stared at Jeremy in disbelief, all memories of last night swept away by anger.
“Holy hell, Rose. What am I gonna do?” Matt whispered. I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Your Honor, please,” I said. “My client isn’t a man with that kind of money lying around. He needs to be out on his lobster boat, not stuck in jail over parking tickets.”
“With all due respect to my fellow counsel,” Jeremy interjected, and my eyes narrowed at the ‘with all due respect’ part, as that was just a nice way of saying ‘You’re an idiot’, “it is not the court’s concern whether Mr. Davis is capable of paying what he owes to the town. He chose to accumulate the parking tickets, and the total is $8,160.”
“With all due respect to my fellow counsel,” I said, as I glared at Jeremy and then faced the Judge, “my client will not be able to pay that amount unless he is working, your Honor. Surely, Mr. Abbott is capable of understanding that.”
“I understand everything just fine, Ms. Brennan,” Jeremy said, and the courtroom hushed as we looked at each other, locked in combat, when just hours earlier we had writhed around naked together.
“Ahem. All right, then,” said the Judge after a long silence. “It would appear that Mr. Davis cannot pay the full $8,160 at this time. Is that correct, Mr. Davis?”