Tortoise Tango

by Mary Wine

  TORTOISE TANGO

  An Ellora’s Cave Publication, June 2005

  Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.

  1337 Commerce Drive, #13

  Stow, OH 44224

  ISBN MS Reader (LIT) ISBN # 1-4199-0243-1

  Other available formats (no ISBNs are assigned):

  Adobe (PDF), Rocketbook (RB), Mobipocket (PRC) & HTML

  TORTOISE TANGO Copyright © 2005 MARY WINE

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part without permission.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. They are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

  Edited by Sue-Ellen Gower.

  Cover art by Lissa.

  Warning:

  The following material contains graphic sexual content meant for mature readers. Tortoise Tango has been rated E–rotic by a minimum of three independent reviewers.

  Ellora’s Cave Publishing offers three levels of Romantica™ reading entertainment: S (S-ensuous), E (E-rotic), and X (X-treme).

  S-ensuous love scenes are explicit and leave nothing to the imagination.

  E-rotic love scenes are explicit, leave nothing to the imagination, and are high in volume per the overall word count. In addition, some E-rated titles might contain fantasy material that some readers find objectionable, such as bondage, submission, same sex encounters, forced seductions, and so forth. E-rated titles are the most graphic titles we carry; it is common, for instance, for an author to use words such as “fucking”, “cock”, “pussy”, and such within their work of literature.

  X-treme titles differ from E-rated titles only in plot premise and storyline execution. Unlike E-rated titles, stories designated with the letter X tend to contain controversial subject matter not for the faint of heart.

  Tortoise Tango

  Mary Wine

  Trademarks Acknowledgement

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

  Hummer: AM General Corporation

  Home Depot: Homer TLC, Inc.

  Honda: Honda Giken Kogyo Kabushiki Kaisha (Honda Motor Co., Ltd.)

  Chapter One

  “Hurricane Ruth has reached gale-force winds and is currently bearing down on the Texas coastline. All residents of Pullman County are strongly urged to evacuate immediately.”

  “No kidding.” Amber tightened her hands on the steering wheel as the wind pushed her car about like a toy. Great. Neat. Wonderful. Another gust caught the mini-SUV and she frantically turned the wheel to avoid spinning across the highway like a toy top.

  A groan of pure frustration escaped her lips as she righted the car. Punching her foot down onto the accelerator, Amber aimed her vehicle away from the approaching storm.

  Some five hours later, Amber lifted weary eyes towards a roadside diner’s neon sign. Coffee. Even the word tasted good at the moment.

  “You evacuating, honey?” A plump waitress offered a kindly smile with her question. Amber reached a hand up to smooth over her hair before she aimed a grin back at the woman.

  “Do I look that bad?”

  “Well, pitiful suits you a bit more to my way of thinking. Ladies’ room is in the back.”

  Tossing a muttered “thank-you” over her shoulder, Amber fumbled around in her purse for a hairbrush. Well, she was yet again an honest-to-goodness refugee.

  The first true hurricane to hit southern Texas in forty-one years and she, Amber Talisman, managed to move into town just one week before it hit!

  Great. Neat. Wonderful.

  She was from California! Southern California girls just weren’t taught how to secure a house for a hurricane! Or how to drive in one. Well, away from one anyway, in this case. Now, duck and cover during an earthquake, no problem. Hurricane with gale-force winds, big problem!

  All right, girl, get a grip. You’re still in one piece. Amber glared at her reflection and snorted. She always made it through. Being alive didn’t count. There must be a law against curses that forced the victim to live through every single natural disaster known to man.

  Dropping her hairbrush, Amber headed back out into the diner and towards coffee. Getting frustrated wouldn’t matter. So, she would go placate her lousy attitude with coffee. Hot, steaming java. Today she’d splurge and use cream. Escaping a hurricane definitely earned her some real, cholesterol-laden cream.

  Her thighs could go straight to hell.

  * * * * *

  People were idiots.

  Contained in those three little words was the complete and total key to understanding humanity. The true reason that the adult human male produced millions of sperm was to ensure that the species didn’t die out from its own ignorance.

  “Joe? You see it yet?”

  How in the hell could he miss it? This wasn’t a traffic accident, it was a quarter-mile of tangled wreckage. More than one of these fools would be getting their auto insurance canceled after this one! Lifting his shoulder, Joe spoke into the microphone sitting there.

  “Ten-four. I’m on scene. Better call over to Edwards County General and let them know they’ve got incoming.”

  “A right-o on that, Joe.” Joe closed his eyes and shook his head. Professionalism. A rather simple concept that not a single civilian member of his staff seem able to apply in the performance of their duties. Straightening his frame out of his patrol unit, he ran a critical eye over his traffic accident.

  Twenty-plus passenger cars, two big rigs, the twisted remains of a couple of motorcycles, a boat and a horse trailer.

  In fact, there was an amazing amount of cussing filling the air. Instead of screaming for help, his residents were currently trying to decide just who was the bigger jackass. Maybe it was a darn good thing that so many of the cars were wrecked completely. That meant most of the locals’ shotguns were pinned in the tangled mess.

  “Calvin, you’re a toad-faced idiot! Who taught you to drive? Your sister?”

  “No! But yours taught me how to ride!”

  “You bastard!”

  “Don’t you dare insult my mother!”

  And that was Pullman County, Texas, for you. The only highway into town was littered with wreckage and the survivors were too busy brawling to recognize they were the luckiest damn souls on the planet.

  An hour later, the only people left were rejoicing about the record pileup. Every tow truck driver within a hundred miles had beaten a path to the accident site and was currently loading as many demolished cars as possible onto their trucks.

  Very few of the owners were left. Most ended up at the local hospital. Just whether or not their injuries came from the accident or the following…discussion would have to be sorted out later. Right now, Joe wanted his highway reopened.

  Raking his hand across his face he indulged in a single moment of rest. Sleep was very tempting. Forcing his eyelids open, he glared at the few vehicles still littering the shoulder of the highway. The sooner he got them cleared, the sooner he’d get some rest.

  Amber glared at a tow truck driver. The man wiped his nose on his sleeve and turned away from her look. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned her attention to another driver. This one was haggling with a potbellied man over the price of towing his smashed Honda away. Another driver appeared and issued a lower bid that the potbellied man instantly accepted. Amber batted her eyelashes but the outbid driver turned towards another bid war and immediately joined it.

  “Excuse me. Is there a reason you’re still standing here?”

  Amber shrieked and turned around to face her company. She tipped her head back and glared at the man. “Do you have to sneak
up on me like that?”

  “Maybe you should pay attention to what’s going on around you.”

  “Excuse me.” She batted her eyelashes and pushed her lips into a pout. Joe cocked his head to study her. He didn’t need a smart mouth. Especially not right now. One huge hurricane and a thousand idiotic residents meant he didn’t have a scrap of patience left.

  “You need to leave, now.”

  “I would love to. But I’m waiting for a tow truck just like everyone else.”

  “You were involved in this accident?”

  “Do I look like I’m here to sell popcorn?” His eyes narrowed and Amber almost laughed. She clamped her lips closed and tried to keep her face straight. Oh Lord, she really had hit her head harder than that paramedic thought she did!

  Because only a complete nutcase would bait the sheriff who was going to be writing up the accident report.

  But it was still funny. The sheriff didn’t think so. His lips thinned as Amber swallowed another giggle.

  “Where is your car?” Joe forced each word out in a flat voice. The woman was laughing at him. He could see it in her eyes. The sky-blue orbs were sparkling just like a Christmas tree.

  “I’m on the lower level.” She lifted a slim hand and pointed over the embankment. The highway was some thirty feet above the desert floor. The side of the road gave way to a steep dirt embankment. The back of a green SUV was sticking up from its landing spot among the sand.

  “Well, that took some doing.” The words were out of his mouth before his common sense could stop him. The little lady in front of him didn’t find his comment very flattering. Her face flushed with anger before she propped her hands onto her hips. The posture thrust her breasts forward, making the plump curves the center of attention. Well, maybe just the center of his attention but Joe took a single moment to look over those mounds before forcing his eyes back to the explosion of temper covering her face.

  “There’s not a mark on my car because at least I was watching the road! But these drivers say I’m not a priority and my car has to wait. So maybe you should tell one of them to get over here and I’ll be happy to get out of your way.”

  “Don’t need to ask if that’s your real red hair.” Or her real breasts. A man could spot the fake ones. This pair bounced and moved just right…the way nature designed them to. Joe made a sweep over her left hand before giving in to the urge to look back at her tits. No ring and that gave him far too many ideas about her ample chest.

  “OHHHH! It’s auburn! My hair is auburn, not red!” Her hands curled into fists because…because that sheriff was grinning like a…a…man! Ohhhh! It wasn’t her fault that Texans couldn’t drive. “Why doesn’t anyone want to haul my car up to this road anyway? I have a credit card.”

  “But you don’t have any damage.”

  Amber shook her head and glared at the grin that was still sitting on his firm mouth. “What does that have to do with it?”

  “All these guys get a cut from the shop they haul their loads to. No damage means no cut.”

  Amber looked around to see that only a single tow truck remained. The driver was dragging the one remaining car onto his bed. The man tugged his baseball cap down over his head to avoid looking at her. “Are they just going to leave me here?”

  Joe crossed his arms and pressed his lips together. Now, coming from most women that phrase might have sounded pitiful. Instead this little redhead looked like she was considering instigating a second brawl if she didn’t get the right answer to her question. The last driver hooked a final chain into his prize and raised his head up before catching her look. The man all but raced around his truck and jumped into the cab. Her petite frame lunged forward and Joe hooked her arm to hold her back.

  The sheriff laughed at her. Amber felt her face flush red as the same color clouded her vision. He was actually laughing at her. The deep rumble was escaping through that smug grin that was still sitting on his rough face. His hand stopped her dead in her tracks. There was a solid strength there that told her his body was as hard-cut as his face. A little curl of heat hit her belly as she considered what he looked like without the uniform.

  “Absolutely perfect.” Casting a longing look at her car, Amber glared back at the sheriff. “Guess I’m not leaving. So sorry to disappoint you.”

  “You’re leaving because this highway is about to reopen.”

  “Glad to hear it. I’ll be right here waiting for a tow truck.”

  “Well, that won’t be until tomorrow so I’ll give you a ride into town.” Joe didn’t mind a bit. In fact, he was looking forward to a little more time with his spunky redhead.

  “Tomorrow?” Amber caught her lower lip between her teeth and considered her car again. “I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

  “It’ll have to. We’ve got some County trucks but they’re all beat tired after sweet Ruth did her worst on this area. Your car isn’t blocking traffic so it’s not a priority.”

  “I can’t leave my pet here until tomorrow.”

  Joe watched as the woman cast a worried look down at her car. Well, who said it was just guys that got attached to their wheels? This little lady looked like a mother that was sending her toddler off to preschool for the very first time.

  And she was a little lady. Her body was small and compact. But her worn jeans stretched over some very curvy hips. Joe ran his eyes over them again. A woman needed curves if you asked him. Especially right there on her bottom. Little Red had a real nice seat to go with those tits.

  “Let’s go, Ms…?”

  “Talisman and I’m not leaving Flamingo.”

  “It’s a machine not a person.”

  The sheriff hooked his hand around her arm again and Amber dug her feet into the soft, water-soaked ground. He dragged her forward anyway. In fact, it was almost effortless. The man seemed to possess plenty of strength for the task.

  “My pet is down there!”

  “You left an animal in a closed car?” Joe felt his temper return in full force. “It could be close to ninety degrees in that car right now!”

  “Flamingo likes it hot. But I can’t leave him overnight. He’s very sensitive to the cold.”

  “There are laws against leaving an animal in a closed car! Why in the hell didn’t you say something? Your mouth seems to work just fine.”

  Mr. Grouchy Sheriff wasn’t just grouchy any longer. The man was stone-cold furious. It wasn’t something Amber enjoyed having aimed at her. The anger practically zipped through the air. She pulled a deep breath into her lungs and shoved her own temper aside. The man thought she’d mistreated an animal. That was a good trait in any human, even a grouchy, obnoxious sheriff.

  “Flamingo is a reptile and they need the temperature above seventy-five degrees. That is why I left Flamingo in the car. It’s too chilly out here for a reptile.”

  “What kind of reptile?”

  “Flamingo is a tortoise. They need it warm, any veterinarian can tell you that.”

  The sheriff cast a long look at her car before he ran the same considering look over her. His eyes touched every curve before rising to hers again. Amber felt her mouth go dry—this man noticed details. She shivered as she thought about the kind of details he was noticing on those long looks down her body. “You can bet I’ll be asking about that fact. For now, go and get her so I can get this road open.”

  “Flamingo’s too big for me to haul up here. I need a tow truck.”

  “Look, lady, There happens to be three thousand residents stuck behind this accident and I assure you they aren’t in the mood to listen to excuses. Get that animal up here now!”

  “I’m not strong enough.” And Amber really hated having to admit that out loud! The sheriff considered her from beneath his brows for a moment.

  “Fine. I’ll go and get your pet.”

  “Flamingo’s too big for you to carry up a hill, too.”

  Oh, now she’d gone too far. Amber watched the man’s face cloud with indignant male pride. He actu
ally growled. The sound was low and deep. Half a second later he was headed down the slope towards her car. If Amber had any concept of body language, his said she was in deep trouble now.

  Well, that wouldn’t last very long.

  Too heavy? Like hell. It was just a turtle! His highway was being kept closed by a turtle. And Little Red didn’t think he could haul a turtle up the hillside. The day he couldn’t haul a lousy turtle forty paces was the day he would sign his own death certificate.

  Digging his boots into the water-soaked sand, Joe reached for the rear door of the SUV. Yanking it open he peered into the cargo space and shook his head in disbelief. Flamingo was the biggest damn turtle he’d ever seen. The thing took up half of the cargo space the mini-SUV offered. Dull brown with a shell that was at least three feet across and two feet wide. The animal’s head was as big as his fist.

  Why did everything in Texas have to be bigger?

  Chapter Two

  Amber waited for the motel room door to close. Her ears registered the small click it made as the lock snapped into place.

  Then she let loose.

  Rolling onto her back, the room’s mattress bounced as her body hit it. Her entire body shook as she finally let out her laughter.

  Oooh, but the look on that grouchy man’s face had been priceless! Amber kicked her legs into the air as she continued laughing. Big stud that he was, he’d carried Flamingo up that hillside, just to prove how incredibly manly he was.

  Wiping a tear from her eye, Amber rolled over and looked at her pet. Flamingo was currently eyeing the motel room with a complete lack of enthusiasm.

  “Mama really loves you.” The tortoise blinked his reptilian eyes before beginning to walk about searching for a good spot to spend the night. His shell scraped along the wall, dislodging plaster as it went.