by Seth Rose
The only scenario I can think of race being an issue is at traditional fraternities and sororities in the South. Greek life here is a big deal, and they may actually make race a factor.
Though officially, anyone who meets the academic standards of the university is eligible. From there, as long as you’re a cool guy the fraternity can give you a bid.
More Fraternity Stuff!
There’s so much to talk about when it comes to fraternities. Here are a few more things to know:
Living in a Frat House
Living in a fraternity house is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Like I mentioned before, being where the party is has so many benefits.
On top of that, there are going to be several dozen guys in the house with you. You’ll always have someone to hang out with, play videogames with, head to the library with etc.
Charity
An easy way to cast off the ‘rich douchebag’ stereotype is through giving back to the community. Members of the Greek community are required to meet a minimum number of community service hours per year.
All Greek organizations will likely have a ‘Community Service Chair’ or someone to oversee these activities. It’s nice giving back to the community and it’s good for the soul. My only beef is occasionally waking up early in the morning after heavy drinking!
Greek Week
This is one of the most fun weeks of the year. Fraternities and sororities are paired up for an entire week and go head-to-head with other Greeks in a variety of endeavors. These include athletic events, fundraising, trivia and all sorts of events.
There are also multiple social events throughout the week. It’s a good opportunity to meet ladies. In fact, one of my fraternity brothers met his wife at one of these Greek Week events!
Date Nights
A few times per semester Greek organizations will have date nights. This usually entails going to a bar or a similar venue.
It’s pretty straightforward: You bring a date! A big anxiety a lot of guys will have is actually finding a date. Your best bet is to take a girl you’re trying to bang, or already have banged. You don’t have to be boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s just a girl you’re going to have fun with.
If you don’t have a date, ask around. That’s what brothers are for!
Formals
Formals are date nights on steroids. They don’t always last one night, but often an entire weekend!
For example, my frat has now started a tradition of going to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We rent a couple of big cabins, and all the guys will bring a girl to spend the weekend with.
For formals, I would not bring a girl you do not know. You’re paying for this girl and have to spend a whole weekend with her. If she’s annoying, boring or bitchy you’re screwed. It’s better just not to go.
For a formal, you want to bring the girl you’re closest with. Even if that’s a Friend-with-Benefits. If you know they’re going to put out and you can stand their presence, you’re good to go.
Paying Dues
Joining a fraternity comes at a cost. Dues are paid each semester in order to help fund the organization. Dues can be quite expensive, upwards of $1000 per semester at a fraternity. Ask the brothers during Rush Week how much dues are. If your parents won’t pay for this, you’ll have to get a job.
These dues are put to good use, though some is wasted, whether on administrative crap or unnecessary purchases.
Who Should NOT Join a Frat
I told you I may jerk off to Greek Life for 20 pages and I did just that! I can’t stop blabbing about it because it so fundamentally changed my life and I am forever grateful for it. I also know that it is the best way for an average or even dorky guy to skyrocket their way to a kickass social and sex life. It happened to me and I’ve seen it first-hand many, many times.
That said joining a fraternity is not ideal in every scenario.
This is really more a matter of environment, than it is personality. A lot of guys have an ‘independent’ spirit, but they still have a blast in fraternities. Remember, no one is forcing you to spend time with brothers and go to events. As long as you pay your dues you can do whatever the hell you want.
The reasons that some guys should not join a fraternity have more to do with what school they join. Some small, liberal arts colleges or other private schools will still have fraternities, but it may not be worth it to join.
If a school is smaller, cliques are even more important. That said, if you are a cool guy you can skyrocket to the top and truly become a Big Man on Campus. Fraternities may even hold you back at that point.
In nearly every case though, a guy’s life will improve through a fraternity. People do occasionally drop out of fraternities—oftentimes they’re fucks. One of my best friends from college dropped the fraternity his senior year. He didn’t want to pay dues, instead hoping he could just ‘drop by’ our social events and enjoy our parties. But for a lot of guys for drop they just don’t fit in. And that’s totally fine.
At the very least give it a go. Rush week is fun and is a great way to open up the world of Greek life to the eyes of a neophyte.
For whatever reason, if you don’t join a frat you can still kick ass as an independent.
Chapter 12: Staying Independent
For Everyone else, there’s Independence.
I just spent quite a bit breaking down the whole Greek scene. Even if you don’t decide to join a fraternity it’s an intelligent idea to still get cushy with people in the Greek scene to reap the social rewards. Fraternity parties are not exclusive to people in Greek life. If you have friends they’ll likely give you an invite.
When it comes to being an independent I’m a firm believer that any guy can start from scratch and build a cool social circle and have a blast in their time in college. Let’s back up a bit though…to your first week of school…
Common advice for getting laid and being cool in college is to go hard the first two weeks in terms of socializing. I couldn’t agree with this more, but it’s easier said than done. When I came to college I was shy and awkward. Despite my wardrobe changes I still wasn’t cool and didn’t magically get social skills, so to suggest that someone like myself could meet a hundred new strangers my first week is a pipedream.
If you were social in high school, you’re in a great position to start strong. If you were like me, hope is not lost. What you need to do is put yourself in a position to meet people. Doing passive things like leaving your door open, to simply eating burgers at a fraternity house do not require an intense exertion of oneself socially and thus socializing is easier than you think. It is by putting yourself in positions like this that will allow you to grow tremendously over the four or so years in college.
Do your best to meet people outside your dorm. There are numerous places to meet people in your first few weeks, a time where everybody is still in shell shock over being in college. Here are a few:
Dining Halls: In the age of the Smartphone, it may seem a bit odd to actually strike up a conversation with a stranger for the sake of having a chat. I’m sure you don’t do it too often, and it will likely take people by surprise. Yet, for many underclassmen that eat in the dorms eating with a total stranger isn’t as weird as it sounds, especially if it’s busy. Grab a seat with someone, guy or girl, who looks friendly and ask if you can take a seat. Start shooting the shit, ask the regular questions, “What dorm do you live in?”, “What do you study?” If they’re cool/hot tell them you should hang out together sometime. Bonus points if you have an event planned that you can invite them too.
Class: A frequent question guys always ask is “How can I get with this girl in my class?” Staying on the overarching theme of being the facilitator, you want to convey to this girl that you have an active and fun social life. Instead of straight up asking her out for coffee, to study, or something else lame have fun things going on you can invite her too. If you’re of age ask her to grab a beer with some friends. Not of age? Find a cool ho
use party and invite her to tag along. If a cute college girl is presented with the options of a.) Coffee or b.) Alcohol, she will almost always pick the latter.
School Clubs: Within the first week or so, most schools have some type of fair where all the student organizations get together and encourage students to join. This is a great opportunity to join some clubs. You probably won’t bang girls from the Young Republicans, but you should always be networking. Always Be Networking. The more people you know, the more doors open for social circles and parties. Like study groups, no one really gets laid directly from a club. See this more as a tool to meet cool people and find parties as opposed to exploiting it for pussy.
That pretty much covers how and where you can meet cool guys and cute girls in your first semester at school. If you’re reading this and you’re not a freshman, no worries we have a ways to go. If you are a freshman and are wondering how the fuck you’re going to do all this when you were a loser in high school, chill. It’s not the end of the world if you’re not the coolest guy in school after a few months. It would be absurd to think that you can make such a profound transformation in such a short period of time, but what I will say is that you should be doing everything in your power to develop a social network of sorts.
If there’s a cute girl sitting in your class, take out your ear buds and chat her up.
If you can honestly go through your first semester, or first year for that matter and say that, being completely honest with yourself, you did your best to come out of your shell and go above and beyond than that’s all I or yourself can ask of you. You have four years to enjoy college.
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In your first semester your goal is to simply get to know a lot of people, mainly cool guys and cute girls. Even if your social skills are lacking before you get to college, by making a concerted effort to break out of your comfort zone you will be in a pretty good spot. For the remainder of your freshman year continue this process, although your goal should shift from simply meeting people to organizing those you have met into a loose contingency of people.
Most people’s social circle in college will consist of people from their major, dorms, or high school. There’s not much branching out.
Assuming you live(d) in a shitty dorm, are the only person from your high school, and have a major with lots of dorks (I was 3/3) you’re going to have to take matters into your own hands. This is why you have to make a big time effort in meeting people.
If you come across as a cool guy who has a fun social life, people will want to be around you. They will follow you and join your social circle or they will prompt you to join theirs.
First, start small. Let’s say you meet a guy in your class. He seems chill, he’s pretty good looking and is looking to party—a perfect wingman. Try and track down a frat/house party for the weekend and invite him along.
If you have a roommate or guys in your dorm who want to go fine. If not you two can roll out together. This is perfect as it builds a connection between you two and you’re having fun. Basically like a bro date.
Next week, rinse wash and repeat with a new guy, but bring the guy you met the week before and now you have a group of three. Keep doing that until you have a solid group of 6-8. These guys don’t have to be from class, they can be from anywhere. Nor do you have to see these guys each week. This is all just an example of what you should be doing.
Only freshmen wander around on Friday and Saturday nights looking for a party. Beyond your freshman year, you’re going to want to use this same tactic, but ideally you’ll have a cool crib to host events. I’ll cover your crib later on, but essentially location and size are important. No one will want to walk in far off, unfamiliar territory just to party. Stay in the heart of your off-campus. Check out my “Awesome Party Recipe” below on how to throw a sick house party with virtually guaranteed pussy.
One thing I didn’t mention when building your circle is how to incorporate girls into your social circle. This is one thing I had difficulty doing. Why? Because anytime I got close with a cute girl I either hooked up with her or at least tried to.
Let’s say you hook up with a girl and want to bring her into your social circle. It’s doubtful that she’ll show up alone, she’ll bring friends (hopefully cute ones). You then befriend one of those girls. Now, if you hookup with this girl (if at all possible) then it’s likely that these girls won’t help expand your social network. Doing this will just make them hate either you or each other. Choose your targets wisely.
Instead of hooking up with a girl’s friend, go for one of her friend’s friend. Basically what we’re looking at is ‘two degrees of genital separation’ (patent pending).
So, if you bang Jenny, and Jenny is friends with Katie, don’t fuck Katie. If Katie is not friends with Jenny then feel free to bang her. Do your best to be discrete. By not shitting where you eat you can expect a steady stream of pussy.
Remember guys, what I’m advocating here isn’t to be ‘Friends’. You’re not forced to hang out with the same five people every day in your apartment. That’s what most guys in college do and it’s why their social lives suck. Have one group of girls over Friday, and hit the bars with another group Saturday.
As for your guy friends, they should be by your sides most nights. Good guy friends though are hard to come by. When you find a few solid friends, stick with them because you need to assemble a crew.
Adding Value to a Social Circle
When you’re constantly meeting new people, you’re going to be opening up doors for social opportunities. Guys you meet in class or at a party will invite you to hang out with their friends. You know have a big chance to find yourself as a part of a new ‘social circle.’
Oftentimes just being a decent guy will allow you access to a social circle. If someone invited you in the first place, surely you had something going for yourself. But if you really want to exude the characteristics of a Big Man on Campus you’re going to need to provide value to the new social group.
To start, you want to bring positive vibes. Never bitch or complain about your life, especially in the presence of new people. First impressions are a big deal, and if you’re remembered as that guy who wouldn’t stop complaining about the bad music you’re going to have an uphill battle getting reinvited anywhere. If you’re the guy who is telling awesome travel stories, and making hilarious jokes people will be dying to see you again.
The next step of the equation is to become the host with the most. Turn your crib into the place everyone wants to come and party. To do so, you want to provide plenty of booze, games, a good sound system and even some food would be a nice change of pace. And of course, being able to bring cute girls.
Your Crew
The importance of having cool friends that you enjoy being around cannot be understated. Humans are social creatures. To live happy, fulfilling lives we need to surround ourselves by people that we enjoy. College is no exception. In fact, college is the time where you will want friends the most.
I never had too many friends in high school and it was no surprise that I wasn’t too happy during this time. To be happy you need to do activities and have experiences that you enjoy. People tend not to do these things by themselves and that’s where friends come in. Most people who suffer from depression do not have any activities to look forward to and thus get down on themselves.
By seeking out cool friends you will never be short of things to do. Now, you could be like most other guys and sit back and wait for others to plan your social life for you, but you shouldn’t do that. Be the guy that takes control.
I already laid out to you how to meet people and develop a small crew. These guys are going to be your boys, your crew, your Rat Pack. When going out to bars or parties I can’t understate the importance of having guys that not only enjoy going out and meeting women, but are good at it, or at least looking to improve these skills.
When I went out in college I usually went with the same guys from my frat. I went ou
t with them because they were chill guys who I got a long with. The problem was that these guys didn’t have game and didn’t have the balls to approach. This left me to fend for myself. When we’d go out together I couldn’t rely on a wingman. It wasn’t the end of the world, but when running solo in college your options are limited.
I value my friends a lot, but if I had to do it over again I would have spent a lot more time with the party animals in my frat when going out drinking.
I implore you to meet guys who are like minded with yourself and share similar ideas and aspirations. They say that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Don’t hang out with druggies and losers or that is who you’ll become. Find guys who get good grades and get laid (i.e. Big Man on Campus).
Introverts
One huge factor that made my social life harder in college was being an introvert.