by Seth Rose
From a young age, I had a lot of social anxiety. I was really shy and wouldn’t talk much or go out of my way to socialize. Being an introvert does not mean you are shy necessarily, but the two often go hand in hand.
Therefore, I was really being held back. Or so I thought.
What I realized is that being an introvert—someone who has their energy drained by socializing—is not an excuse to be a quiet, shy loser. I was just using this as an excuse to not socialize. I had limiting beliefs that I was using to tell me what I could and couldn’t do.[14]
I had a successful social life in spite of my introversion, because I put myself in situations where I was forced to socialize. Living in a fraternity house, I had no excuse not to party. This effect snowballed over the years and I began to crave going to bars.
If you’re an introvert, you’re going to feel out of place sometimes. For example, most people love to go eat with others. I’ve never understood this. I just want to go eat, get my nutrients, and go back to whatever it is I was doing. I don’t want to make a whole event out of it.
Extroverts are always on. They always love to go out and do different activities with other people. Introverts oftentimes prefer to just be alone.
If you want to have a good social life you’re going to need to suck it up on occasion. You’re going to need to go out with friends, network and socialize. Not as often as extroverts would prefer to, but enough to give you a fulfilling social life and a future career.
To make up for this, just make sure you have plenty of alone time. Like I mentioned before, I prefer to eat alone (cooking makes this easy.) I don’t like to study and go to the library with others, or to sit in a café. I like to work out and run errands alone too.
If you’re like me, planning alone time is not something you have to schedule. It just comes natural.
When it comes to the party scene, introverts are unfortunately at a disadvantage. The guys who get the laid the most in college are the most outgoing and loud individuals. They are always chatty, fun and drinking. Introverts can certainly imitate this behavior, but it’s harder. Drinking alcohol makes this a hell of a lot easier.
One advantage that introverts have is that they can approach in a more systematic manner. They’re not distracted by the many facets of nightlife and can instead hone in on their goal.
Be careful when using this type of approach. Don’t come across as calculating and cold. Be fun, warm and friendly. Perhaps instead of doing a bunch of shots or dancing, isolate her and have a deep, seductive conversation.
Chapter 13: Alcohol, Everybody’s Closest Friend
Keg stands, 30 packs of shitty beer, and handles of cheap vodka that taste worse than rubbing alcohol. Ahhhh college. While today weed and Molly (MDMA) play a sizeable role as drugs on the college social scene, alcohol always has and will likely remain king.
Before diving further into parties and picking up girls, it’s important to discuss alcohol. It is so abundant and important for socializing in college, that it must be understood.
First, you must realize alcohol is a powerful drug. Yes, it is a drug. A socially sanctioned drug. It is one that is perfect for social environments as it lowers social inhibitions and anxieties.
From the female perspective, alcohol is one of the most significant factors in them putting out. I strongly believe that if alcohol was completely removed from bars and clubs, one night stands would nearly cease to exist. Not only does alcohol blunt some of the social programming women have that tells them not to put out right away, but also it gives them an excuse the next day to rationalize why they fucked some random guy from the bar.
As you can see, banging a girl when drunk is significantly easier than when sober. So does that mean I am encouraging you to hit on drunk girls? You bet your ass I am.
While alcohol does lower inhibitions, unless you drink absurd amounts drinking alcohol won’t make you do something you don’t want to do. Yes, it will fuck with your judgment, but you don’t see people jumping off rooftops when drunk (Although a frat brother of mine fell 60 feet off a balcony while tripping). So if a girl is drunk it doesn’t mean she would sleep with a guy who she would have no desire to sleep with if she was sober. Instead, the alcohol lets her enjoy a hookup guilt-free.
While I have stated my opinion, the court of law sees it differently. If a girl has sex with you and she is drunker than you (or even just drunk at all), that’s considered rape. Even if she’s bouncing on your cock like it’s the last fuck of her life, moaning and screaming out your name, if she regrets that decision or thinks that you “took advantage” of her it’s rape. This is an ongoing concept on college campuses today with innocent men being kicked out of school, or worst thrown in jail.
Now, as for the benefits of guys being drunk, drinking alcohol gives us what is known as “liquid courage”. Liquid courage refers to the courage gained through the loss of anxiety and inhibitions, through the consumption of alcohol.
In college you’ll witness many instances of really drunk guys trying to mack on girls at the bar. This is what bothered me. I wanted to be able to approach girls without having to drink alcohol. I was able to yes, but not drinking really hurt my chances of getting laid in college.
The first reason is that no matter how good I got at approaching, alcohol would always help. Sure I didn’t want to depend on it, but a few drinks couldn’t hurt.
The second reason is the big one. You see, when college kids go out they want to get drunk. While sometimes they want to drink because they had a shitty final or are feeling just down, drinking alcohol is simply how college kids socialize. So by not drinking, you’re limiting your ability to socialize.
I came across a great explanation of this phenomena. It was a Return of Kings article by Christian McQueen artfully entitled “How To Pull A Slut From A Vegas Pool Party”. While the purpose of the article was clear, this excerpt struck a chord with me:
“Now you might be wondering why it matters if people think you’re on [drugs] or not… because people do not like reminders of sobriety while in a party environment. Trust me on this. It’s a human subconscious reflex to reject the tribe member who won’t eat the buffalo tongue with the rest of the tribe.”
Read that again. That’s what profoundly hit me. I never dreamed that an article about sluts in Vegas could resonate so hard with me, but it did.
After my sophomore year I began to drink quite a bit less. After going through a relationship, followed by a 3 month internship abroad, I returned to finish my final semester with little to no desire to drink, let alone ‘get wasted’. It is no surprise that during my last semester I had the longest dry streak in college.
When everyone around you is drinking to get drunk and you’re nursing your 2nd beer of the night, you don’t fit in. Unless you’re naturally, incredibly extroverted then it just won’t work. Like I did earlier, when I want to see what works, I look at what worked for me in the past. Almost every girl I hooked up with in college I met when I was either drunk or my energy levels were bouncing off the wall (which is a rare occurrence for me).
By the time I left college my approach anxiety was lower than it had ever been. I didn’t have issues going up to girls at bars and chatting them up. I was often unsuccessful though because I came across in a rigid manner whereas I should’ve been playful.
I often caught a lot of slack from my peers for not drinking. Sure they were joking, but they did it because they wanted to include me. They wanted me to be part of the tribe. Yet, I turned them away and appeared to them as a heretic, questioning their gospel. My actions should have got me burned at the stake, but rather I was doomed to miss out on getting pussy.
So as you can see, drinking copious amounts of alcohol is a critical factor in getting laid if you’re not a naturally high energy person. And if you are a high energy person, you will be more compelled to drink alcohol anyway, as you want to be in the thick of the action. If you’re someone who doesn’t like to drink or is a cheaps
kate, you need to reconcile this. You have a few options:
1.) Suck it up: 1-2 nights a week you’re going to need to drink. Friday or Saturday are definite, and then another day if you feel inclined. Have around 4-5 drinks or so. 2 to pregame with, and 2-3 at the bar or party. This is not too many drinks. It’s enough where it will get you a good buzz and put you in an energetic state. If you slowly sip 'em you’ll be drinking the whole night. Also, 5 drinks won’t get you too drunk which is what we want to avoid.
2.) Find ways to pump yourself up: Blare music, jump up and down, do some pushups, yell for no reason. Having a fun, party vibe is critical as we know. Alcohol is perfect for that, but if you don’t want to drink you’re going to have to find ways to replicate the effects of alcohol.
3.) Don’t go out at night: Or rather, don’t expect to get laid at night. I’ll talk more about this shortly, but it’s possible to meet girls during the day time. College socializing revolves around alcohol, so if you’re not willing to drink or be high energy, don’t expect anything out of it.
Like I mentioned earlier, I don’t recommend using alcohol as a crutch, though many guys do in college. They drink excessive amounts and then finally muster up the courage to talk to some girl. This rarely pans out well, but sometimes it does. Regardless, needing to be drunk to get laid is not sustainable. You need to learn how to chat up bitches sober, or at most buzzed (bordering on tipsy). Having a few drinks though is not contrary to this. The main purpose of drinking is to simply fit in. To be part of the tribe. It also doesn’t hurt that it lowers inhibitions and anxiety.
Warning: Never intentionally get belligerently drunk. We’ve all been there, three drinks turns into six and then twelve. Next thing you know you’re kissing the toilet seat or blacked out on the sidewalk. This may sound counter-intuitive. I don’t want to come across sounding like your parents, but you should always seek to be in control of your body. Too much booze and you lose that control.
Drinking a ton of alcohol is terrible for multiple reasons: It’s bad for your health, it’s expensive, it makes you look like an idiot, and it will hurt your game. If you go through college and never get super drunk, you’re probably a pussy. Hell, I’ve been insanely drunk plenty of times. I even ended up in the Emergency room one day, getting hooked up to an IV, because I could not keep down any liquids the day after partying. Just be smart and safe when drinking!
Chapter 14: College Girls
Out of all the brilliant men that have set foot on this Earth, no one has truly been able to understand the nature of women. I don’t claim to have the ultimate answer either.
There are a lot of things we can say about women though. Especially college women.
We understand their hopes, dreams and ambitions.
We know what they’re looking for out of a college experience.
We know how much they value status (i.e. social currency).
Knowing these fundamental principles is imperative for success.
Some people say we shouldn’t stereotype. I disagree. Stereotyping is an easy, and usually accurate way, of determining what the characteristics of someone is.
What I’m trying to convey is that all these college girls are in the same situation: They’re finally away from home and their parents; they want to have all the fun they’ve heard and dreamed about; after graduation the reality of family and career are lurking, making college the time to have all those crazy and wild experiences.
Though college girls retain similar traits throughout their 4 years, there are definite nuances you should be aware of. Let’s breakdown the personalities of college girls by year:
Freshmen
My earlier description, and the common stereotype, of the naïve, starry-eyed college girl applies most to Freshmen. They truly are like a kid in a candy store, surrounded by so many different stimuli, from parties to boys to drugs.
As newcomers to the college scene, they are looking for someone who can provide this to all them.
In the presence of Freshmen girls, you want to act like a father figure or older brother (not in an incestual way). What I mean by this is that you provide her with guidance and advice on her future.
For example, if she’s not sure about which sorority to join, give her some advice. Even better, you can introduce her to a girl you may know in that sorority (If it doesn’t violate rush protocol).
As much as Freshmen are excited to party and get crazy, because of all of these distractions they can be hard to pin down. You should never get bogged down trying to chase just one Freshman.
The best bet for scoring tons of fresh, young pussy is at your fraternity parties. In the first few weeks and months, Freshmen will be looking for these parties. Be a good host, introduce yourself, work the room and lock onto some cute Freshman girls. Give them a house tour, use the ‘let’s drink in my room’ gambit to isolate, and go from there.
Sophomores
Mark Redman from Conquer Your Campus calls Sophomore year the ‘year of opposites’. That is, if the girl was a major slut Freshman year, she would settle down and find a nice boyfriend Sophomore year. On the other hand, if she was too shy and missed out on all the parties, she would overcompensate by being a major slut and party girl.
This is quite true. My ex-girlfriend had a very underwhelming Freshman year. She always just stayed in the dorms. Her sophomore year she got a little wild and fucked a bunch of dudes (including me).
It only makes sense doesn’t it? The same was the case for me. I had a lame Freshman year an went wild my Sophomore year.
Understanding this will give you solid insight as to how to hook up with sophomores. When talking to Sophomores, get them to talk about their Freshman year.
If she says how lame it was, be sexual and escalate hard. This girl is looking to get laid. The more she blabs about how boring the dorms were, the more she wants the D.
If a girl tells you about how she drank too much Freshman year, it means she’s looking to taper things back. Proceed more slowly.
Another factor in the lives of Sophomore girls is that they’re starting to solidify their social circles. In their Freshman year, they were more limited to who they met in the dorms. Sophomore year they know people in their majors, their apartment complex, their sororities, frat boys, plus all the people they met freshman year. Drunk hookups are still a common occurrence, but social circles begin to play more of a role.
Juniors
Junior year is an interesting year. Many students will hit 21 during Junior year. They feel more mature and want to hit the bars more.
They’ve likely studied abroad or interned, giving them some ‘real-world’ experience.
The dorms are far in the rear-view and they’re either living in an apartment, house or sorority house.
At this stage in her college career her social circle is solidified. In fact, it is the bedrock of her life. Don’t disrespect her friends, and find a way into their good graces, or you may have your shoes and clothes thrown out of the apartment at 1 AM after calling her roommate fat (Guilty!).
As for relationships, it’s likely she’s had one since she started college, beyond just a long-term boyfriend. This means that if she’s currently single, there’s likely her ex-boyfriend is on campus. This, along with her emphasis on social status, can lead to some potential drama.
With that said, Junior girls are probably the most fun to date and spend time with in college. Since Sophomore year is the year of opposites, girls are living in a highly emotional and reactive state—same with Freshman year. Junior year is when girls have a better grasp about their approach to sex and dating, which makes them not necessarily easier to seduce, but they will give you clearer signals. The maturity they have also helps avoid flakiness and naivety.
Seniors
These girls have had a lot of fun experiences throughout their three previous, precious years. They’ve had a lot of alcohol and cocks go down their throats already, so the novelty of parties and boys is starting to
lose its appeal. That is not to say these girls don’t drink or party—not at all. Rather, senior girls are just looking for something more substantial than fleeting, hazy memories of nights out.
These girls are looking towards the future. They want men they can count on for the future. Namely, they want a boyfriend, or at least a relationship that can become something more.
They want to spend more time with their friends. Who knows where everyone is moving to after college. They want to cherish this time left.
You may think this means senior girls aren’t open to outsiders—this isn’t true. Senior girls are just not open to outsiders who are drunk, loser assholes. Sloppy game at a bar will get you nowhere with Senior girls. Nor will being an unsophisticated bore.
If you’re a cool, fun dude then Senior girls definitely want you in their lives.
Sorority Girls
You can spot them from a mile away. Ugg boots, leggings, a black jacket (usually a North Face), and a bag with their letters on it (At least that was the style circa-2013). Like frat boys, sorority girls often appear as if they were mass produced in a factory.