Totally Tormented

by Lucy Covington

  “Wow,” a voice said. “I guess you don’t like that movie, huh?”

  I looked up, my face hot. Carter was standing in the doorway, giving me an amused look.

  “Carter!” I said. “What are you doing here?” And why hadn’t I shut the door before I decided to go crazy on a poor defenseless DVD?

  “I wanted to come by and see if you’d talked to Dr. Klaxton yet. I was going to call, but I kind of wanted to congratulate you in person.”

  “I did talk to him,” I said. “After class today. Thank you so, so, so much for putting in a good word for me.”

  “Yeah.” He looked down at the broken DVD in my hand, and a flicker of trepidation moved over his face, like maybe he was afraid he’d made a mistake, and that I was really crazy and unstable, the kind of person who stalked professors and smashed things.

  “This isn’t what it looks like,” I said.

  “So you weren’t snapping DVDs over your knee?” He bent down and picked up the case. “The Fighter. Very appropriate.”

  “No, I mean…they were a gift. From a boy. That I’m mad at.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. They made me sound even crazier.

  But Carter didn’t seem that phased. “What’d he do to you?”

  “Ditched me at a party,” I said. “Flirted with another girl. Put me in dangerous situations. Got me in trouble with my RA.”

  Carter shook his head. “And then he dropped off DVDs in an effort to get back on your good side?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “He left me a card saying that he wanted to make it up to me.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet,” Carter said, shaking his head. “Well, I’m glad that you were able to get your anger out in a constructive way.” He picked up the Dead Poet’s Society case.

  “Maybe you should break this one, too.”

  “No way.” I took the case and held it protectively to my chest. “This is my favorite movie.”

  “I love it, too,” Carter said. “It’s really inspirational.”

  “It is inspirational!” I said. I was about to add ‘that’s what I was trying to tell Justin’ but I realized that would make me seem even crazier than he’d maybe first thought.

  “We should watch it together sometime,” he said. “I have a big screen TV at my apartment.”

  “Totally,” I said.

  Something passed between us, then. Something weird. Attraction? It didn’t quite feel like that, but the mood had definitely changed. It was so slight that I wondered if I’d imagined it.

  “Anyway,” Carter said, giving me a smile. “I should go.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll text you later,” he said. “And we can get together sometime soon?”

  I swallowed. Was he asking me out on a date? And if he was, did I want to go?

  Could I go? Was he my boss? Or was he just, like, sort of my supervisor?

  “You know,” he continued, as if sensing my reservations, “So that we can get together with the other research assistants.”

  “Oh,” I said. “Right. Um, okay. Cool.”

  “Cool.”

  He stood there for another moment. “See ya, Lindsay,” he said.

  “See ya.”

  ***

  I spent the rest of the day in class, studying, eating dinner, and trying not to think about Justin. Every time his face would enter my mind, anger flowed through me. And then I’d think about his smile, the way his hair had curled around his forehead in the steam of the shower, the way his hands had felt on my bare leg. I’d get all filled with lust and wanting, and I’d have to take a few deep breaths and stop myself from checking my phone.

  I walked all around campus with my books, hoping that if I kept moving, I’d keep my thoughts from overtaking me. I studied in the library, on a bench by the quad, in the computer lab, and in the student lounge.

  I was back in my room studying when Rachel texted me. I hadn’t seen her all day, and I was starting to get a little anxious. I wasn’t sure if she’d been mad that I hadn’t told her about dropping my paper off at Dr. Klaxton’s office. That, plus the fact that she’d been acting weird made me worried that maybe something was going on with her.

  What r u doing? she texted. Want to come to a party with me and my friends?

  I frowned at the screen. She was going to a party on a school night? She must really have something going on with these new friends of hers. Maybe she’d met a boy or something. I found it a little funny that she was giving me a hard time about hanging out with Justin, and yet she’d been out partying the last few nights. But that was what I was starting to learn about Rachel. She was complicated and a total contradiction. I liked it. She kept things interesting. And she sounded happy in her text, and not mad at me at all, so I was relieved.

  Even so, I had a lot of work to do, especially if I was going to be one of Dr.

  Klaxton’s research assistants. I needed to stay on top of things, because I wasn’t sure how much time that was going to entail.

  So I texted Rachel back and let her know that I was studying, but told her to have fun and that I’d see her later.

  And I was still there, sitting cross-legged on my bed studying, when she came into the room a few hours later.

  “Early night?” I asked.

  She didn’t answer me. Instead, she walked over to her desk and set her purse down, then pulled her hair tie out of her hair and shook out her ponytail. Then she kicked her shoes off.

  And that’s when I realized she’d been crying. Mascara streaked her face, and the dark circles that had been there this morning were more pronounced.

  “Oh, no,” I said, tossing my books to the side. “Rachel, what’s wrong?”

  She shook her head and then really began to sob, her shoulders shaking. I jumped off my bed and ran over to her, enveloping her in hug. “It’s okay,” I said. “It’s okay.” I kept repeating it as I stroked her hair and let her cry.

  Finally, she calmed down enough that I was able to lead her over to her desk chair and sit her down. I handed her a tissue, and she wiped her eyes.

  “Thanks,” she sniffed.

  “You’re welcome.” I pulled my own desk chair over to her so that we were sitting facing each other. “You want to talk about it?”

  She hesitated, then wiped at her eyes again. “I’m embarrassed.”

  “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s okay.”

  “It’s not.”

  “I’m sure we can figure it out.”

  “We can’t.” She shook her head. “I’ve already tried to think about how I can fix it, and I can’t. They’re going to do whatever they want, and I can’t stop them.”

  I shook my head. “I’m lost.”

  She took in a wobbly breath. “I did something really stupid,” she said softly.

  “And now I’m going to pay for it.”

  “Start at the beginning.”

  “Okay.” She took in another deep breath, and I gave her a reassuring smile.

  “Well, you know how I spent the weekend at BU, right?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, my friend Alexa and I …we met these guys.”

  “Okay…”

  “We hung out with them all weekend. They were nice, you know? We partied and drank and just…they were cool.”

  “Okay,” I said cautiously. My antennae were up. Partying, drinking, all of this seemed like it was going somewhere bad.

  “And then one night, we were at their house. Um, they lived in a frat house, and they started messing around, you know, taking pictures. One of the guys, Henry, had just gotten this really nice digital camera, and he wanted to try it out.”

  A sick feeling was rising in my stomach. I had an inkling where this was going.

  “Anyway, they got me and Alexa to start posing together. And then we were drinking more, and then Alexa… she passed out in the other room. But I kept... I mean, they kept taking pictures of me.”

  She reached out and squeezed my hand so t
ight that I was afraid she might break it. But I didn’t dare move – I could tell this was hard for her, and I didn’t want to risk that she’d stopped talking.

  “And then all of them went to sleep, and it was just me and Henry, and he kept telling me how beautiful I was. And I’d had so much to drink, and so … when he told me to take off my shirt, I did it.” She looked at me, shame in her eyes. “Now you think I’m a slut.”

  “I absolutely do not,” I said. “I think that guy is an asshole for taking advantage of you.”

  “So now he has topless pictures of me,” she said. “They all do. And at first I was a little sketched out, but then he asked me to come over tonight, and so I just figured he wanted to see me again. I thought I could ask him to delete them, you know? And maybe he would.” She started to cry again. “But I was stupid, Lindsay. He didn’t really want to see me. He wanted to blackmail me.”

  “Blackmail you?” I shook my head. “For what?”

  “He told me if I didn’t do stuff with them… with all of them, then he was going to put the pictures of me online.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I said. “What a bunch of assholes!”

  She nodded. “But it’s my fault,” she said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said. “It wasn’t the smartest move to let them take those pictures, but it’s not your fault that they’re trying to blackmail you.” I shook my head, angry at how horrible guys could be.

  “Okay,” I said, going into planning mode. “The first thing we have to do is call the police.”

  I reached for my cell phone, but Rachel reached out and grabbed my arm. “No!”

  she said. “We can’t!”

  “Why not?”

  “Because! I can’t prove they tried to blackmail me, and besides, if we go to the police, the pictures will probably end up online anyway—they always do—and there will be news stories about it…and…and....” She shook her head. “I’m not taking that risk. I just won’t see Henry again and I’ll have to hope that they don’t post the pictures anywhere.”

  “But Rachel…”

  “There’s nothing else I can do, Lindsay.”

  She looked helpless. I felt helpless. I wished there was something we could do, someone we could call who might know how to handle this. And then I realized there was.

  I reached for my phone.

  “No police,” Rachel said.

  “I’m not calling the police,” I told her. And then I dialed his number.

  JUSTIN

  Finally, I was signing in with the front desk of Lindsay’s dorm—just like a good schoolboy. She met me at the entrance and showed the attendant her student ID. Then I had to show him my license before I signed the guest sheet.

  A moment later, I’d been given a guest pass and was free to go.

  “Thanks for coming,” Lindsay said quietly, as we headed to her dorm room.

  “Of course,” I said.

  She smiled a little, but I could tell she was incredibly anxious.

  “How’s your friend doing?” I asked. Lindsay hadn’t told me much about what was going on, just that her roommate was in bad trouble and maybe I could help somehow.

  “Not good. Please be nice to her.”

  “Absolutely. Don’t worry, we’re going to figure this out.”

  “Thanks.”

  She opened the door to the room, and the girl I’d met the other night, Rachel, was sitting on the bed with her legs up, arms wrapped around her shins, chin on her knees.

  She looked like a kid. She also looked scared, and it was clear she’d been crying.

  “Hey,” I said. “I’m JB. From the other night, remember?”

  She looked at me. Then she looked at Lindsay. “He’s…you trust him?”

  “Yes.” Lindsay nodded emphatically. “I trust him, Rachel. You can tell him what happened.”

  Rachel put a hand over her face and started to cry. “I’m so fucking embarrassed.

  I’m such an idiot.”

  Lindsay ran a hand through her long hair. “She’s really scared, Justin. These guys are basically blackmailing her.”

  I crossed my arms. “Blackmail? Like, they’re trying to extort money from her?”

  “Sort of.” Lindsay sighed. “Can I tell him, Rachel?”

  Rachel nodded. “Yeah.” She sniffled. “I just can’t say it myself. I can’t even believe I did it.”

  “She went and hung out at this frat house just off campus yesterday. She was hanging out with a guy she liked and he convinced her to take some…racy pictures.”

  “Okay.” I already knew where this was heading.

  “She thought it was just something between the two of them. So he invited her over to the house today, and this time, a few of his frat brothers were there. They told her they were going to blast the pictures all over the internet and humiliate her if she didn’t…you know…”

  Rachel looked at me with wide, frightened eyes. “I know they’ll do it. They showed me some pictures of other girls, too. And they told me the only reason I hadn’t seen those anywhere was because those girls cooperated.”

  I nodded that I understood. “They’re saying that they want Rachel to do sexual things with the fraternity brothers, and if she doesn’t they’ll humiliate her with those pictures she took the other day.”

  “Yes.”

  Instantly, I was on fire. But my voice came out sounding surprisingly calm.

  “Come on, you two. We’re going on a little field trip.”

  Rachel and Lindsay exchanged worried glances.

  “What do you mean? Are we going to the cops or something?”

  “No, we’re going to that house. I’m going to take care of it.” I almost sounded cheerful. It was strange, because beneath that, I was as angry as I’d ever been.

  “Are you sure?” Lindsay asked.

  “You called me over here for a reason. Come on. Let’s go.” I started walking with a purpose.

  Lindsay and Rachel got up and followed me out of the room and then we left the residence hall.

  I felt like a live wire. I was ready for action and I had an intention.

  “There’s a lot of guys at this house,” Lindsay told me, as we walked. “So, it might not be the kind of place where you can just go in and—”

  “Is it on Mass Ave?” I interrupted.

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s what I thought.” I smiled again and nodded.

  We walked for a while.

  “I’m really scared to go back,” Rachel said.

  “Don’t worry, you’ll feel a lot better when we’re done. It’s going to be a snap,” I said, literally snapping my fingers. The truth was, I would have broken into song and dance if I’d had a little more time.

  I couldn’t wait to meet these guys.

  I had to slow down several times to allow the girls to catch up to me, but eventually we were on Mass Avenue and the fraternity house was in sight. Rachel pointed at it. “That’s where they live.”

  You could tell it was a fraternity house because the Greek letters were plastered over the front door. Other than that, the yard was well kept and everything looked in order. It wasn’t exactly Animal House, at least not at first glance.

  “Come on,” I said, my voice chipper, like we were going to my grandparents’

  house for dinner. “We don’t want to keep them waiting.”

  Lindsay grabbed my arm. “Are you sure, Justin? I don’t want them to do anything else to Rachel. She’s already gone through a lot.”

  “Nobody’s going to hurt her. Believe me.” I looked into her eyes and she saw I meant it.

  “Okay, okay.”

  We started walking again. As we crossed the street and headed for the front walkway, I found myself experiencing a high very similar to getting into the cage. I was on pins and needles, alert, with tremendous energy.

  I practically sprinted to the front door, but just barely restrained myself. I didn’t want t
o be too eager.

  Finally, we got to the steps and I knocked loudly and rang the bell.

  A few seconds later, the door was opened by a blond guy in a collared shirt. He looked the type. When he saw Rachel, his eyes widened momentarily. Then he fixed his gaze back on me. “Anything I can help you with?”

  “Yeah, I need to come inside.” I started to move and he put his arm across the entranceway. Just past him, I could see a few other guys milling around, and they’d started to notice us.

  “You can’t just walk into our house.” The blond guy’s cheeks were flushed.

  “My friend Rachel told me she left some important pictures here. I need to get those back.”

  “We don’t have any pictures of anybody here.”

  Soon three other guys approached the doorway. They were all fairly well built, strong looking guys. They had attitudes. I was excited.

  “Is there a problem here?” one of them said. He was the biggest one, with short brown hair, blue eyes, and he hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt. His torso was muscular and pale. He looked at me and then at Rachel. “Rach, what the hell is going on?”

  “Don’t look at her, don’t talk to her,” I said nicely.

  His blue eyes fixed back on me. “What the fuck are you even talking about?”

  I smiled, my voice still friendly. “I told you not to talk to her. She’s with me, she’s under my protection.”

  The dark haired guy laughed and looked at his friends, who shook their heads.

  “Do you believe this fucking guy?” He looked at me once more. “Listen, buddy. I don’t know what you’ve been smoking, but we’re not interested in talking to you or either of these bitches. You’re all bruised and busted up already, so clearly you know how to get your ass kicked. I’d hate to have to do it to you again so soon.”

  “I’m not going to get my ass kicked. But what I am going to do is walk inside right now and get those pictures you have.”

  “Lenny, call the fucking cops right now,” the ringleader yelled over his shoulder, his eyes still trained on me. “We’ll just have them escort you off our private property.”

  “Sure, go ahead,” I said.