The Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop

by Dianne Carol Sudron

  “What type of wood is it made from?” Miles asked.

  “Well,” said Mabble Merlin, “it comes from a tree that only grows in the Lands of the Legends. They are mystical trees and they grow in fairy woods. Polly can speak, in her affectionate, loquacious way, and maybe she will tell you herself in her lovely, lively Australian accent. If you don’t want her to speak, there is an on-off switch - if you ever find it! I don’t suppose you ever will. You will find Polly very enigmatic. She is also telepathic and can read minds. You see, she was made in the Dreamtime using ancient Aboriginal skills, with jackals howling at the full moon. That can be wild and scary, let me tell you! The Aboriginals were playing their didgeridoos. Polly Quazar is special. For sure and definitely she is good enough for a special birthday present for a special person.”

  Anne Boleyn’s Mirror

  “Would you like a coffee or tea or a blueberry muffin, Miles?” asked Mabble Merlin.

  “Well, I haven’t really got time,” said Miles, feeling a bit awkward.

  “Oh, don’t worry,” said Mabble Merlin, we’ll turn back the clock and you’ll be back home before you went out this morning.”

  Miles looked at the shopkeeper with a quizzical look and wondered what on earth he could mean. But it sounded like a very good thing to be back before you went out, so the very next minute he heard himself asking for an exceedingly large latte and a most beautiful blueberry muffin that he suddenly saw on the cake stand. It was a Victorian cake stand and it seemed to go up to the ceiling. Miles lost count of how many tiers it had and how many different cakes, but there must have been almost every type he could think of.

  No sooner had he asked for the muffin and latte than a large china cup and saucer were being brought out on a silver tray with the large, simply delicious-looking blueberry muffin. Actually it was a little bit of a secret, but the waitress was from King Henry VIII’s court. She had been one of the King’s many wives - he had six wives in all! When she came out holding the silver tray, dressed in regal costume, Miles kind of recognised her.

  As Miles drank his coffee he looked into his coffee cup. It was huge. He felt he was being hypnotised; he was definitely mystified. Reflected in the coffee cup he saw a scene from King Henry’s court, and then he knew for certain that the waitress was one of Henry’s wives. He wasn’t sure which one, but he was sure it was a very strange thing indeed for any one of them to be a waitress in the Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop in Bayswater on a fine Saturday morning. Miles was lost for words. He was dumbfounded. He couldn’t quite add it all up and take it all in. Bayswater is a quite leafy area of London, and things very rarely happened there - at least, they had very rarely happened to Miles before he came to work for the Laugherty family. Since then many strange things had happened.

  Miles sat pondering and drinking his coffee. The china cup was so large he felt he could almost take a swim in it, and yet it was so light. If he had known it was actually from the Ming dynasty, and was therefore hundreds of years old, he would certainly have been trembling a bit. As he drank the coffee, he was none the wiser that the cup came from the reign of one of the greatest Chinese emperors: Emperor Zao Ze Ming, famed for his chocolate army.

  He took another bite of the blueberry muffin, savouring the taste. Then suddenly he nearly choked on the muffin as he realised which wife of Henry VIII’s wives it was. It was none other than Anne Boleyn!

  He nearly fell off the chair in disbelief. He turned to have another good look at her and noticed she was disappearing through a large old-fashioned standing mirror.

  He jumped up off the chair and went to follow her, but he came face-to-face with his own reflection in the old-fashioned mirror. Then he noticed a label on the mirror. It said, ‘Anne Boleyn’s original dressing mirror’. He stared into the mirror, rooted to the spot as if hypnotised.

  Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder. Miles jumped out of his skin, but it was only the old shopkeeper, Mabble Merlin.

  “Everything to your satisfaction, sir, with the blueberry muffin and coffee?” he asked.

  “Y-y-y-yes,” said Miles, stammering. “I - I was just appreciating this fabulous mirror. Erm, the label says it is Anne Boleyn’s original mirror.”

  “Oh, yes,” said Mabble Merlin matter-of-factly. “Yes, that’s true. Anne Boleyn was very enamoured with the mirror. It made her look beautiful in her wedding dress, you see. She often just pops in to help out in the shop.”

  Miles was holding the coffee cup and, as he couldn’t help but tremble, the coffee spilt. After all, he had just seen a ghost! But hey! she looked so fine, and she looked so alive. Good heavens, she’d just served him coffee and a blueberry muffin!

  ‘Goodness me!’ thought Miles.

  He went back to the table to sit down. He was a bit shaken.

  “So, she’s - er - OK, then?” asked Miles tentatively.

  “Oh, she’s splendid. She’s a great help in the shop when we’re busy, and she loves London.”

  “She loves London!” repeated Miles. He was thunderstruck.

  “Let’s just say she loves, loves, loves London,” said Mabble Merlin.

  “She loves, loves, loves London!” repeated Miles.

  For several minutes Miles just repeated everything Mabble Merlin said. He was lost for words.

  But the coffee was marvellous. It made him feel so happy and joyful and gave him such a zest for life that suddenly it no longer bothered him that he couldn’t figure out why Anne Boleyn had suddenly popped up, serving him coffee and a blueberry muffin. He felt that there were so many things to do, to see, to say - in fact, the shop was as full to the brim as anything ever could be.

  He looked around the shop as he sat eating the rest of the very large blueberry muffin, and his head spun and his eyes began to blur. He focused his eyes and he suddenly noticed an exquisite pair of curtains made of rich burgundy silk brocade. They looked brand new. He also noticed a magnificent carpet.

  “Where’s that carpet from?” enquired Miles.

  “That’s from Persia, of course,” said Mabble Merlin. “Have you heard of magic flying carpets, Miles?” enquired Mabble Merlin. “Well, that carpet is the original flying carpet from Aladdin’s cave. The Genie of the Lamp often pops in with something to donate, and in return I have given a few things to the genie. The silk brocade curtains come from China - from the Ming dynasty. They are made from the silk of 1,000 million silkworms - handwoven - and they hold the million secrets of the Chinese sages of old.”

  The New Haircut

  Suddenly Miles realised he’d been in the shop for at least three hours.

  “Oh, my word! I must go. I must dash,” declared Miles. “I didn’t intend to stay for three hours.”

  Mabble Merlin declared, “When you walk out of here, only thirty minutes will have gone by.”

  It was perfectly true: Miles walked out into the brilliant sunshine, under a powder-blue sky and the swaying trees along the Bayswater Road, and only half an hour had gone by. Mabble Merlin had delicately wrapped up the quaint Australian clock in pink paper, with a ribbon tied in a bow, and popped it into a pink-and-purple-striped fancy carrier bag.

  Polly Quazar was tickled pink and sky blue to be joining a new family in England - Bayswater of all places. She hoped to be making brand-new friends very soon. She knew (with her telepathic powers) that she would be living with a very interesting family in a grand Victorian town house in Bayswater, overlooking an oak-tree-lined street. Her dream had come true.

  Miles breathed in the London air, which tasted sweeter than ever - just like nectar from a honeybee.

  He dashed into the dry cleaner’s to collect his cleaned butler’s outfit - his bow tie, waistcoat, top hat and tails and black leather pointy-toed shoes.

  On the door of Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow was a sign that read, ‘Quiffs and Coiffed - special offers’. S
o Miles decided to pop into the barbershop to get his head quiffed and coifed and slicked into a 1920s-style slick hairdo. His moustache was teased and tweaked upwards until it almost looked part of a barbershop quartet.

  Miles loved to sing, and he could play the drums, the piano, the violin, the mandolin, the double bass, the trumpet, the clarinet, the trombone, the bodhrán and the harpsichord. He also wrote music, and one day he hoped one of his classical compositions would be performed by a full orchestra. Though he loved his job as a butler, ever since Dr Laugherty had saved his life, he had an ambition to achieve.

  Miles, believe it or not, used to ride a motorbike, and one wet Sunday afternoon he was going a little fast and he spun out of control. He went headlong into a lake. He was knocked out completely, but luckily Dr Laugherty and Penelope just happened to be having a romantic Sunday stroll by the lake that day. They saw a strange man on a motorbike go head first into the lake and disappear. Luckily Dr Laugherty was a scuba-diver, and he had learnt to swim while holding his breath underwater. He dived into the cold lake and fished poor Miles out. Poor old Miles survived with minor bumps, cuts and bruises and a bit of amnesia. Dr Laugherty offered him a job.

  At that time the Laugherty’s were moving to France, and Miles wanted to taste another cultural atmosphere and to learn to speak French and cook French cuisine. The family took off for Paris, and they lived there for three years. That was how Miles got the job: just by a chance meeting, albeit whilst he was drowning in the lake.

  When he wasn’t doing his butler duties, Miles sometimes sang for the family. His friends often came to the house, and they brought their instruments. They played the mandolin, the accordion, the violin, the glockenspiel, the piano and the drums - and they played them very well indeed!

  London Melody

  A few days after Miles had gone into the Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop, it was Patrick’s turn to go into the shop to buy a birthday present for Penelope.

  Patrick was sitting in the surgery when in walked his good friend Dr Singh.

  “I’ve come to take your blood pressure,” he said as he walked in.

  Patrick started laughing. “I need it,” he said. “What a stressful day! Nearly every patient is feeling depressed and I can’t think what to say. I had a call that one of my patients had gone all the way to Beachy Head to throw himself off the cliff - and what happened? Amazingly some geese flying by swooped down and plucked him out of the water, so he is OK.”

  “Wow!” said Dr Singh. “That’s amazing! Who would have thought geese would do that!”

  “Well, that’s what witnesses said it was. I think it was an angel of the Lord, don’t you? Anyway, Dr Singh, it’s my Penelope’s birthday. How do you fancy going up the Bayswater Road and helping to buy a pressie? We’ll have a drink afterwards in the Lion the Witch and the Unicorn.”

  “OK,” said Dr Singh.

  He and Patrick went to the Bayswater area. They were walking along when suddenly Patrick saw the Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop. It had sprung up again out of nowhere.

  “I’ve never seen this shop before,” said Dr Singh. “Is it for real?”

  Patrick laughed and said, “It looks real enough, but I suspect it’s from a parallel universe.”

  They both laughed their heads off.

  They went in, and immediately Patrick noticed, at the same time as Dr Singh noticed it, a very large picture of London. It showed the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben and several London buses. The clock on Big Ben, seemed real.

  “This will be great for a present for Penelope - a nice scene of London. It’s so eye-catching.”

  “It certainly is!” said Dr Singh.

  Mabble Merlin came over to them. This time he was wearing a pinstriped suit and bowler hat, just like a London gent. His hair was short, and he had no long beard or moustache, but he had the same mud-brown eyes like an owl’s eyes. When Dr Singh saw him he started to laugh and couldn’t stop. He didn’t know what he was laughing at, but it all seemed so funny.

  Mabble Merlin suddenly said, “The possibilities are endless.”

  “What?” said Patrick.

  “I see you’re admiring the picture of London,” said Mabble Merlin. “Well, it’s called London Melody, and the scene changes to show different scenes of London, including scenes of days gone by. As I was saying, the possibilities are endless. It’s the motto of London Melody.”

  “Oh, I see,” said Patrick.

  Dr Singh was still laughing and trying not to, but Patrick remained poker-faced and took it all in his stride.

  “I love the picture and the fact the scene changes - but what about the clock? Does it disappear?”

  Dr Singh laughed again, but he tried to cough to disguise the laughter.

  “Well,” said Mabble Merlin, “you won’t believe it but there is always a clock on the picture when the scene changes. The clock may be on a church, or it may be on St Paul’s Cathedral, or you may see a tavern with a clock on it, or Big Ben may remain on the scene, or a shop may appear with a clock in the shop window - do you get my meaning?”

  Dr Singh was still laughing. He wanted to get out of the shop as it felt so rude to be laughing when Patrick was trying to find out about the picture. Dr Singh got out his handkerchief and pretended he had a bit of a cold, but everything Mabble Merlin said made him laugh. Then suddenly Dr Singh saw the owl in the tree in the window of the shop.

  The owl said, “You won’t find empty spaces.”

  “What?” said Patrick.

  “You won’t find empty spaces on the picture, of course.”

  Patrick wondered if it was some sort of riddle, but Dr Singh just thought that it was a hilarious random thought. It didn’t make sense, but neither did owls that spoke. Dr Singh wanted to hurry up and get out of the shop and go and get a drink - maybe a brandy would calm him down.

  “I want to take the picture,” said Patrick to Mabble Merlin.

  “We’ll have it delivered for you,” said the shopkeeper. “You don’t want to carry such a large picture through London - especially if you’re going for a drink and a bit of something to eat.”

  “OK,” said Patrick.

  Dr Singh and Patrick walked out of the shop, and Dr Singh’s fit of the giggles was gone - just like that!

  They sat in the pub, and both had a Jack Daniels with a touch of soda. Patrick ordered lemon sole with organic vegetables, and Dr Singh ordered prawn curry, rice and poppadoms. They both pondered over London Melody and its motto, ‘The possibilities are endless.’ They both took a drink of whisky and looked at each other and burst out laughing.

  Patrick said, “You must come to Penelope’s birthday party. We’re having a cocktail party on 31 October. It’s themed: a 1920s cocktail party.”

  “Sounds like a great party!” said Dr Singh. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  They came out of the pub and said their goodbyes.

  The Midnight Prowl

  Back home, Mog Og was getting ready for his midnight prowl. He always met a few male cats and a few lady cats at the same place every night. They met at the zebra crossing. Mog Og stood at the side of the crossing and waited till his mates came out to play. He was always on time, but the others were often late. One of his best mates was a big, fat, blacker-than-midnight cat called Barney - in fact, you couldn’t see him in the dark.

  While Mog Og stood at the crossing a few motorists went past and shouted horrible things at him.

  “You scruffy, smelly moggy! Get out of here!”

  Mog Og shouted back, “You stupid shirt-and-tie! Get out of my fur!”

  Mog Og always had an answer - he was a wordsmith and knew what to say.

  Well, Barney hadn’t turned up. He was late again. And Marmalade hadn’t turned up either, and neither had Mog Og’s other mates, such as Popcorn, Marzip
an, Cat Majick, Galaxy and Fudge. Mog Og sat twiddling his thumbs - or should I say paws - and pondering the universe.

  Suddenly a bucketful of water landed squarely on his head. Someone from a bedroom window had chucked out some water. Actually they had a blocked sink and didn’t know Mog Og was underneath the window.

  At that moment Marmalade turned up, and Mog Og didn’t know what to do. He was drenched to the skin. Marmalade started laughing.

  “Oh, dearie me! What’s happened to you?”

  “I got caught in a downpour, my darling! The shirt-and-tie upstairs chucked water on me. Let’s have a good old sing-song and see if he likes it; or maybe I’ll climb up the drainpipe, peep in his bedroom window and freak him out.”

  Marmalade laughed so much. She thought it was a great idea to climb up the drainpipe on to the window ledge and freak out the ‘shirts-and-ties’.

  Suddenly all their other friends turned up - even lazy Barney turned up.

  “Hey, where’ve you been, Barney?”

  “Sleeping, Mog Og. I’ve been busy sleeping, counting sheep.”

  “You must have counted a lot of sheep, then,” said Mog Og.

  “I am a cat, you know,” said Barney, raising an eyebrow.

  “Oh, I thought you were a mole or a vole,” said Mog Og. “I think you should get yourself out here with us when it’s midnight, instead of sleeping all the time. You’re getting as fat as a cat in a hat.”

  “What’s one of those, Mog Og?” said Barney.

  “I’ve no idea, but I thought I’d say it. Anyway, the gossip is, I hear, that Marzipan fancies you a bit. Lucky you, eh, Barney?”

  “She’s a very sweet kitty-cat, so don’t upset her or ignore her. Be very charming to her and you’ll win her heart. Lucky you, Barney!”

  “And am I going to meet any lovely young ladies of the night?” asked Popcorn.