by Del Howison
Amor aeternus (Eternal love)?
Passion is the quickest to develop and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.
—Robert Sternberg
Commitment is something that should never be undertaken frivolously, and this axiom is most true when what you perceive to be an eternal love may die, leaving only the “eternal” part of the equation. In its infancy, love always seems like it will last forever, but it seldom does. The notion of commitment, though very serious between humans, is finite: It is unlikely that even the greatest, most epic human-human romance—even one that blossoms at the youngest possible age—will last any longer than roughly 80 years. Eventually, both partners will die. The tragic brevity of time lends a bittersweet depth to human relationships.
In the first stage of a human-vampire relationship, you connect because of a mutual attraction, whether you meet by chance or because you deliberately sought out a vampire companion. Something stirs within you. Your blood begins to boil, and you are inextricably drawn to your vampire.
In the second stage, dating is courtship. During this time, you develop intimacy. You get to know about each other’s feelings and likes and dislikes. If the intimacy is physical, you learn about each other’s bodies and what turns them on. In time, you learn about each other’s histories, you share experiences, joys, sorrows, and pivotal moments in each other’s lives. Eventually, you are intertwined.
You can have a lengthy relationship with a vampire without becoming one yourself. After you’ve established your relationship and are sure he sees you as a companion rather than as prey, it is rare that a vampire will choose to turn a human with whom he his romantically engaged. But vampires understand the meaning of eternity. They do not experience cellular decay, and the only way their lives will end is through violence or misadventure. As it stands, the only way for a human and a vampire to commit to each other is for a temporary amount of time.
A vampire-vampire relationship, however lasts forever, for time without end. There are concrete examples in history of the success of never-ending relationships between two eternal creatures. Two beautiful, charming ladies from Sumer have been together, blissfully in love, since 4858 BC, and they show no signs of slowing down. A couple from Verona fell in love when they were both very young, in defiance of their families’ wishes. They were turned to vampires by a sympathetic Vespillo monk, and against all odds, they have been inseparable since 1391. Everlasting love is possible, but it takes dedication, devotion, patience, and steadfastness to make it work.
You are but a blink of an eye in a vampire’s existence. Your relationship will never work for an extended period of time with the immortality issue standing like an elephant between you. At some point, you need to break it off or move forward into eternity together. He will have to turn you.
But how to convince him to do it? More importantly, are you really ready for the vampiric life? It is a much larger commitment than you can realize, and it can never be undone. It is at this point that your life can change forever.
* * * *
Every instant of time is a pinprick of eternity. All things are insignificant, easily changed, vanishing away.—Marcus Aurelius
* * * *
If your vampire turns you, you will not simply be his or her lover, you will also be their progeny. The relationship between a vampire and their Maker is a unique, everlasting bond, and is not something that is easily explained to humans. A Maker can whisper to the souls of their progeny like a mother to her child in the womb. This relationship can possess shades of romantic tenderness or sexual electricity, it may elicit the loving warmth of a filial bond, or it may enslave you in ties of unending servitude. When he turns you, your relationship with your mate will transform to one degree or another, and your roles with one another will change irrevocably.
Be very careful about what you decide. If you turn, you will have to feed. You will lose family and friends. You could become the loneliest being in the world. What if he turns you and then a year or a decade or a century later you break up? Breakups happen all the time. You can be a single human or a single vampire, the choice is yours … for eternity. Consider long and well whether the life of a vampire is one you have the strength for. It is not an easy road to choose, and it can be bleak, but it can also offer you opportunities for experiences that a human can never attain.
The powerful bond of eternal love is perhaps best explained le Fanu’s Carmilla:
Sometimes after an hour of apathy, my strange and beautiful companion would take my hand and hold it with a fond pressure, renewed again and again; blushing softly, gazing in my face with languid and burning eyes, and breathing so fast that her dress rose and fell with the tumultuous respiration. It was like the ardour of a lover; it embarrassed me; it was hateful and yet overpowering; and with gloating eyes she drew me to her, and her hot lips travelled along my cheek in kisses; and she would whisper, almost in sobs, “You are mine, you shall be mine, and you and I are one for ever.”
Finding Unconditional Love in Undeath
To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage.
—Madonna, O magazine, 2004
Unconditional love is love without qualification. It is to love someone the way your dog loves you. Regardless of how you treat your dog, in most cases they will follow you around with a wagging tail. They do not care if your breath is bad, your hair is a mess, or you are sick. They will still jump up on the bed and lick your face.
It is possible that a vampire will be able to find this kind of love in his heart, but sadly, it is unlikely, whether it be due to conditioning or nature. Most vampires possess a desire for power and dominance augmented by their love of sensual pleasure. So, in all likelihood, if there is any unconditional love involved in this relationship, it is coming from you and will not be requited.
Indeed, love with a vampire can be a one-way street. Which is not to say that a one-sided relationship isn’t desirable for some. If you choose to engage in a relationship with a vampire, we encourage you to find one that has some connection with his or her humanity, one that still possesses the capacity for love. There are dominant/submissive dynamics that do not involve love, and while this kind of behavior might be pleasurable for both parties for a while, there is a strong possibility that it will eventually bore the vampire, or grate on him. Nobody likes an irritable vampire.
In many ways, the concepts of unconditional love and dominant/submissive relationships have become linked, for some people, with BDSM. A vampire’s nature is almost certainly inextricably entwined with sex, and the power that a vampire possesses is, in itself, eroticized. In a relationship with a vampire, it is almost impossible to perceive yourself as the dominant partner, and for many, therein lies the primary attraction. In a sexual relationship with a vampire, you will be overpowered, and you will be, quite literally, under another person’s spell. In the best of these relationships, it is a consensual and deliberately unequal game of dominance and submission.
To make your relationship work, you must be mature, intelligent, witty, and independent. There really isn’t any room here for unconditional love. If you have absolute conviction that you can approach this liaison with a level head and an emotional desire to make it work, it may be possible.
* * * *
The Vampiric Search for Eros
After the apparent “death” of Socrates, Aidoneus, a Transeo who was a student of Socrates and Socrates’ Maker, continued his philosophical studies with Plato.
Of particular interest to Aidoneus was the concept of Eros and how it related to his people. Vampires, even in enlightened Greece, were subjugated and reviled by their human cousins. Aidoneus, whose Master was a celebrated Misericordia poetess, was well aware of the difficulties in developing and maintaining relationships with humans; the miasma of confusion, pain, and guilt that resides at the core of a vampire’s relationship wit
h the creatures that they must feed off of; and the complexities of the love and hatred that exist among vampires and between vampires and humans. Aidoneus felt that vampires were “souls tormented by the tyrant Eros (Love), implacable Limos (Hunger), and whimsical Eris (Strife)” and that if his kin did not endeavor to find union and peace
through Eros they were destined for “horror, battle, and grief without end and no peace to be found in the silent embrace of Persephonê.”
Aidoneus felt that wholesale rejection of one’s vampiric nature was counterproductive and that such a denial of self would only lead to the spiritual and psychological torment that he saw in his Misericordia mother. Giving oneself over completely to delight in the carnage and brutality inherent in his kin was abominable to Aidoneus; capitulating to sadism was a road to madness. To that end, he focused his energies on the development of a vampiric pedagogy that would assist his people in finding their place in the world and peace within themselves.
He felt that Eros, no matter how it manifested, assisted the soul in recalling a primordial vision of the Platonic ideals of beauty and truth, which would bring harmony to the tormented. In order for a vampire to achieve the life of a eudaemon, he would first have to understand the many facets of love within himself and the society he had been reborn into, and would have to be able to integrate that understanding into his actions and reactions.
Conclusion: Danse Macabre
Nec mortem effugere quisquam nec amorem potest. No one is able to flee from death or love.
The first blossoms of romance are almost always accompanied by euphoria: butterflies in the pit of your stomach, that fluttering feeling somewhere between delirious joy and aggrieved nausea. It’s an adrenaline high that’s hard to obtain any other way.
The vampire lives in an emotional void built on decades filled with the sorrow from either the passing of non-vampire acquaintances or centuries of sheer loneliness. If you can translate your feelings of romance, even a touch of giddiness, to your mate, you have a shot at truly winning that vampire’s heart, even if it is only for a brief, fleeting moment.
Romance can bring you incredible joy, and it’s possible that it can also bring peace and some measure of happiness to a creature whose existence is rooted in sorrow. The moments you can share, the emotional and physical intimacy: All of this is part of a truly worthwhile budding romance and can be the key to lasting love between two unlikely creatures. It can be wonderful.
But among all this flightiness and frivolity must come some words of caution. Romance hinges on emotion. This is a scarce commodity in the realm of vampires. Something seemingly small can tip the scales quite quickly. Remember the dos and don’ts of dating a vampire, like don’t remind him of his immortality or of your tiny lifespan. That is, not unless you plan (and he plans) on turning you into a vampire, too. Emotionally, you want him to feel emotions like a mortal in love. This is a thrill that will bring him to you. But you don’t want him to think about your mortality.
* * * *
A relationship with a vampire is complicated. While they do embody much of the dark glamour that their media portrayal suggests, the mystery, passion, and intrigue of the initial infatuation cannot sustain a relationship on its own, and you must go into it with your eyes open. Vampires are unique creatures whose existence is rooted in a culture of violence and persecution that may be difficult for a human to understand. They have very specific needs and desires that humans may not always be comfortable with. However, if you are of a certain disposition—adventurous, compassionate, and fierce—a life with a vampire can be extraordinarily fulfilling. If you find true love with a vampire, you will have an eternity of passion beyond human comprehension.
* * * *
They that love beyond the World, cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill, what never dies.
Nor can Spirits ever be divided that love and live in the same
Divine Principle; the Root and Record of their Friendship.
If Absence be not death, neither is theirs.
Death is but Crossing the World, as Friends do the Seas;
They live in one another still.
For they must needs be present,
that love and live in that which is Omnipresent.
—William Penn
About the Authors
D. H. Altair is the vampire nom de plume of Del Howison, a three-time nominated Bram Stoker Award winning editor and author. He has been nominated for a Shirley Jackson Award, a Rondo Hatton Award, and the Black Quill Award. His short stories have appeared in various anthologies throughout the years, and his tale “The Lost Herd” was converted into a script by Mick Garris and filmed as the premiere episode of the NBC horror anthology series Fear Itself.
Elizabeth Barrial is a freelance writer, historian, and the co-owner of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, the world’s first dark perfume house, whose thematic focus is literature and gothic cultural anthropology. She has collaborated on scent projects with Neil Gaiman, George Perez, Terry Moore, and Mike Mignola, interpreting their stories through perfume. She believes in compassionate consumerism, and has hosted numerous fundraisers for humane organizations and First Amendment rights groups. She lives in a lawn gnome-infested house with her three dogs, her husband, Ted, and their daughter, Lilith.
ALSO EDITED BY DEL HOWISON
When Werewolves Attack: A Field Guide to Dispatching Ravenous Flesh-Ripping Beasts*
Vampires Don't Sleep Alone: Your Guide to Meeting, Dating and Seducing a Vampire*, with Elizabeth Barrial
DARK DELICACIES
Dark Delicacies, with Jeff Gelb
Dark Delicacies II: Fear*, with Jeff Gelb
Dark Delicacies III: Haunted, with Jeff Gelb
*available as a Jabberwocky ebook
THANK YOU FOR READING
This ebook has been brought to you by JABberwocky Literary Agency, Inc.
Did you enjoy this JABberwocky ebook? Please consider leaving a review! To see what other ebooks we have available, visit us at http://awfulagent.com/ebooks/.
Help us make our ebooks better!
We’d love to hear from you, whether it's just to say how much you liked it, if you noticed any errors or formatting issues, or if you have any other comments about this title. Send us an email at [email protected].
Sincerely,
The JABberwocky Team