by A. M. Rivera
Nikolai is there with a drink and on my bed is a wardrobe bag, a gym like bag, and a shaving kit. He sits down beside his things and zips open the shaving kit bag removing a couple of prescription bottles. He dumps some of the pills in his hand and washes them down with his drink when he finally acknowledges me. “Are you frozen there?” he asks.
“No. I just wondered what all this is.”I say. “Are you moving in here?”
Smiling slightly at that he says “Not yet.”
He pulls me down to his lap and caresses my cheek. I know something serious is coming when he says “Lauren, you are beautiful and together we are perfect. The best I have had believe me. But, I will return you when this is over in a few days. We aren’t in love or even in a relationship. It is normal for a woman to cling and build things up in her head when it is her first time. Let’s enjoy a few days together and when our time together is over, this is over as well. We part ways and move on to other partners. Don’t imagine feelings that aren’t there. This is sex. Great sex. Nothing more. Let’s just enjoy each other.”
I feel humiliated. I mean my God who says I love you to someone they have known for a day or two. So embarrassing. I feel hurt. I feel broken. I feel like crying at his dismissal.
Promising myself I will remain cold and untouched from now on, I try to put a mask of indifference on and sort of laugh it off. “Please. I was just caught up in the moment. It came out with no thought or meaning and absolutely no feeling. I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable. Rest assured, I have forgotten it. Just a slip of the tongue.” And because I wanted to hurt him back just a little, I said “Can you imagine if I showed up in my social circle on the arm of a member of the Petrov crime family?”
He puts me off his lap and busies himself with his bags and I feel some satisfaction knowing on some level my jab hit its target.
Changing to a neutral subject he begins “I travel alot so always have bags packed. I had my guy bring me fresh clothes and things so I can get cleaned up. You need to dress up. We are going out to dinner like good Russians. I have a car and driver here so we can indulge. Get moving while I shower “
A date? Out to dinner? In public? I have so many questions in my head.
What does he mean by dress up? He is always wearing suits.
I hear him start the shower so I dry myself and do undergarments including a slip. I stare into my closet for a minute and give up, deciding I will do a little makeup and dry my hair. When I am finished I return to the closet and pull down a navy and white striped sheath dress. Simple but elegant.
Nikolai, with a towel around his neck and one around his waist steps up to me and takes the hanger. Shaking his head no he says “Nice. We will bring it with us but not for tonight. Tonight you will wear ….this one.” And he pulls down a beautiful black sheath that is shear from the bust up and has no back at all.
This is a dress I have never actually worn before. It cost a fortune and I was saving it for something special. I don’t know what exactly. I don’t dress this way. Ever. But I am doing a lot of things these days that I have never done before. I take the dress from him and feel excitement at the thought of the new me.
He hangs his garment bag up and unzips it revealing another beautiful suit and takes it out to put on. He reaches into my closet and takes the navy and white dress along with a few other dresses and places them in the garment bag and zips it up. “Pack a bag now we won’t be returning here after dinner.” He says. I take underwear and bras out of my drawers as well as a pair of yoga pants and some tees. I hear Niko brushing his teeth and getting finished in the bathroom, I grab a small suitcase from the top of my closet and pick a couple pair of shoes up to begin packing.
My eyes go to another unworn item in my closet, six inch red stilettos. I quickly decide to wear them tonight with the black dress. Placing the clothes in my bag, I open my nightwear drawer and reach in to grab a gown or a sleep shirt when Niko stops me. Shaking his head but saying nothing I feel a blush spreading across my chest and up my neck to my face. I get it. No clothing while sleeping. How can I still blush after all I have done with this man? He is in underwear and a t shirt and begins to put on his shirt.
I return to the bathroom to warm the flat iron while packing up my toiletries when Niko approaches me with his arms outstretched for me to help with his cuff links. I bend my head and begin fastening them and feel his gaze burning the top of my head. “You’re very small.” He says.
I look up at him and say “You’re very big!”
Getting dressed together to go out is so surreal. Like we are a real couple. Not victim and captor.
My hair is finished, I apply lip gloss and in the mirror I see Nikolai is completely dressed.
All packed, I go to the closet and slip on the dress. Niko is closing my bag and picking up everything to take with us. I grab a small bag to carry. Put the lipgloss and tissues in it and nothing else. It is for looks only.
I hear Nikolai draw in his breath and turn to see he is watching me bend down putting on the red shoes. He turns me around and sees the backless dress. “No bra. Just the way I like you.”He says.
I look back at the bed and realize we never actually got under the covers. It is messy but completely made up. No one could ever tell what has been going on there all afternoon.
We head downstairs and I see two of the men from the first apartment where they were holding me at. I feel an awful kind of violation that they have been in my home for maybe hours.
They rush to take the bags from Niko and I am distracted by the sound in the laundry room. Niko follows me in there and the dryer is running. He bends over and begins unloading it and folding it into a basket.
“You did laundry?” I ask and I don’t get it at all until I see our towels from earlier. Looking around the kitchen I see he has washed his glasses also. No evidence left behind. No DNA. This scares me as my mind starts thinking he is maybe going to kill me after all. He touches my bare back and leads me out. I warm to his touch but can’t shake the cold fear that has washed over me.
A Towncar is parked alongside of the Mercedes we bought here. One of the guys has put our things into the Mercedes and drives off in it.
The other guy opens the back door and as Niko is leading me to get into the car the guy mutters “This shit is going to get us all killed.”
Niko halts me and looks black with fury. “What did you say?” He asks.
The guy lowers his head and says “Sorry Boss. It’s just not the way we do things. You lay up in the bed fucking all day when her old man could have come home or someone could have come over. Maybe a neighbor saw you come in. Why take so many risks for a piece of ass? We can all get into deep shit here. The guy is a federal judge! “
“Maybe you have no heart for this business anymore.” Niko says and we get into the car.
I expected more blow out form that but Niko is eerily calm all of a sudden.
The man gets in front and starts driving us to the heart of the city. Niko is texting rapidly and has shut me completely out. My mind goes over the confrontation and the fact I am a piece of ass, a ho to these people but what stands out to me the most is that the man called Niko Boss.
A text response comes into Niko’s phone and he begins typing again. He is conveying something to whomever is on the other end. This goes back and forth a few times until we have reached the restaurant. Niko tells the man driving us to await his call when we are ready to be picked up and leads us into the restaurant.
It’s a very high end place I have seen but never been inside. Nikolai is upset and so distracted, I really don’t want to sit thru a meal with him like this. I am invisible to him anyway now that he is so focused on his anger. Without any real greeting, the MaîtreDe grabs two menus and leads us immediately to our table. Finally Nikolai looks at me for the first time since we left the house and tells me I am beautiful. The solminer arrives and without looking or listening to his suggestions, Nikolai tells him our wine choice with our dinner
and to bring us vodka now. He leaves as immediately a waiter appears. Nikolai orders again with no input from me. The vodka arrives almost frozen it seems, and Nikolai pours it into two tall, slender, shot glasses. “Do you drink vodka Lauren?” He asks. And I shake my head. “Well you are going to be a good Russian lady and try it. “
We click our little glasses and drink. I swallow about half while Niko empties his glass and pours a second. He motions to my drink and says “Peet.” Or that is the part I hear but don’t know what he is saying to me.
I drink more and ask. “What did you say to me?”
He pours and drinks a third glass and says “Drink! I said what translates to roses need much water. Russian nonsense. More?”
I say “No. Please. It was very good though.”
And he smiles at that. The waiter brings champagne, with caviar, crackers of some sort and sour cream on a dish with two mother of pearl spoons.
“Now step two in the full Russian experience, Special Reserve Ossetra caviar.” He puts a small amount of the little pearls on one of the spoons and brings it to my mouth. “Hold them in your mouth and feel them explode.” He instructs me. I close my eyes and it is amazing. Wonderful. He says “Now the champagne.”
I drink. Orgasmic dining.
He smiles at me and says “I need not ask if you like that. You are very easy to read. You are as responsive to good food as you are to good sex. I like that.”
I blush and sip more champagne.
“You can use the sour cream and crackers to soften the bite of the caviar but that is up to you. My good Russian girl.”
As always Nikolai eats with gusto like he is starving. He tops up my champagne everytime I take a sip. A beautiful scrumptious dinner follows and we eat at a leisurely pace. Never running out of conversation, I really enjoy his company and I am not sure how much time passes. Forgotten is his anger from earlier and the tension in him. I do mention his looking tired again and he says he has some work to do tonight, but when he finishes with that we are going to sleep for a long time. My mind wonders at what kind of work he has to do tonight but I know not to bring it up.
We have been here for a few hours when he suggests we leave. He calls the driver guy and he leaves an enormous amount of cash on the table. I can’t imagine the cost. Our wine and champagne alone was several hundred dollars along with probably four hundred dollars in caviar at the very least I’m sure of it. Nikolai likes good things. It bothers me what he does to afford them.
Our car is waiting when we step outside. Nikolai leads me into the back seat and pulls me on his lap as soon as he gets in and closes the door. He kisses me deeply with both of his hands on my bare back. He tastes strongly of alcohol and I realize I completely lost track of how much he drank, but I know it was alot. Thus the driver tonight. After a few minutes and in a complete sexual haze, he places me back into my seat and off of his lap. “Later” he says and I see he has the tiny little bag again and lines up drugs again and snorts it up his nose.
“You are a kidnapper and God knows what else, and you take drugs but you won’t drive when you have been drinking? “ I comment. He looks at me smugly but doesn’t respond.
“I have to take care of some business. There will be guys in and around the house. Do I need to tie you up and lock you in the room? Or can I trust you to stay put until I return?” He asks.
“I am not going anywhere. Please don’t lock me in the room.” I say.
“No phone calls. No bullshit. Understand me? He adds.
“I understand.”
We are close to his house now. I recognize the area. I have literally been set aside for his drugs. Again, I feel ashamed of myself for making a connection to him that doesn’t exist. Getting therapy is my number one priority when I am set free from all this. He leans in and kisses my temple as we drive up the long drive. He tells the driver guy to wait. Clearly still full of hostility towards this man.
Nikolai walks me into the house and I see two of his guys waiting just inside the entryway. I am stalled by Nikolai and realize he is leaving straightaway and kissing me goodbye. Without making eye contact with anyone, I head upstairs. I hear the door slam shut before I am halfway up.
Thirteen
When I enter the bedroom I see my belongings are here already and I put them away quickly and undress and put my hair in a high ponytail so I can scrub my face clean. I have no sleepwear thanks to Niko, so I put on a tee and a pair of yoga pants. Too wired up to even think of going to bed, especially in light of the fact I napped this afternoon between bouts of sex. I need to get my mind off of my situation for a little while at least. Looking around I know there is no TV in this room and decide to explore other rooms in the house in search of a television or at least something to read. Bravely, I go downstairs and scan a few rooms and decide Niko doesn’t have a television. I decide to try his office for a book to read or something before returning to the bedroom. To my happy surprise there is a flat screen TV on the wall-facing the desk. A quick peek in the desk drawer and I have a remote. I sit in his desk chair and get comfy. I can always count on a good movie on one of what I call the chick channels, and sure enough I am engrossed for a few hours. My bare feet are propped up on his desk. I have tuned out everything but my movie. I guess that's why I am surprised to see Nikolai halfway in the room with me. When I start to move he says "Don't move. Stay like you are. I want to take a picture of you with those tiny little feet up on my desk." He is cold, distant, and lethal. Brutality is coming off of him in waves. He approaches me and takes one of my feet in his hand and massages it a little roughly making me wince, and I see he is wearing leather gloves! So I ask “Why do you have gloves on? This is practically summer and we are in California for God's sake! "
"Detective Lauren. I can't put anything past you can I?" he says sarcastically and drops my foot back onto the desk.
I sit up straight and wish I had kept quiet about the gloves.
He takes the remote and shuts off the television and stares at me, stalking me in my personal space way too close. I feel uncomfortable and want to run. Now I understand what is meant by fight or flight.
He is so intimidating when he is like this.
Slowly, he reaches out and grabs my throat with a gloved hand. His kiss is brutal. None of the warmth from before. It's as if he hates me. Or hates himself for kissing me. The punishing kiss goes on forever as he is applying more and more pressure to my throat. I feel conscientiousness finally leaving me when he gently eases up. His kiss turning from punishing to coaxing and I hate myself for it, but I start responding. I have been lifted from the chair and we are standing now. The kissing going on forever, I reach up to his shoulders trying to get closer, trying to get more of him. I feel his erection pressing into my stomach and moan into his kiss.
When the kiss stops, he continues holding me close and looking into my eyes. He looks so tired and I say it out loud.
"Yes, well like I told you before, tonight we sleep! But first I need to fuck you baby." he says and the anger from earlier has vanished just as quickly as it came over him.
Reaching around his back he takes the gun out of his belted trousers and lays it on the desk. My eyes widen and it is obvious the fear in me is back. This is not my boyfriend. This is my kidnapper. A criminal.
"Come to bed" he says and leads me by the hand and turning out lights as we go, we return upstairs to his bedroom. My fear is out weighing my desire. This man likes rough sex when he is in a good mood. My mind is racing at the thoughts of what he will be like in an angry dangerous mood.
Fourteen
Niko begins tearing at my clothes and stripping me roughly the minute we cross the threshold into the bedroom. “I want you to take everything I give you. You will think you can’t do it. You will think you can’t take it. I know you can. I know you will.” He says.
Shaking from anticipation more than fear, I ask. “What are you going to do to me?”
“We’ve had this conversation before baby.
I am going to ruin you. I am going to eat you alive. Debase you. Defile you. I want you to fight me. I want you to scream stop. I want your tears. He says and pushes me on the bed.
I panic now. I want out. I begin to fight him and it only spurs him on. He continues kissing and biting me everywhere. I am completely nude while he is still dressed except for having kicked off his shoes.
“Please stop! I don’t want this! This is rape!” I am screaming and fighting with everything in me.
“Just let me baby. Let me take you into the darkness. Come with me baby. It will be so good. I promise. Come on. Let’s fight.” He says and continues to consume me. All of me.
Somewhere the fear has just turned into sensation and I feel myself drifting away and weirdly free. When he frees my arm I slap him as hard as I can and hurt my hand. He holds both of my wrists in his one hand and continues sucking, licking, and biting. This struggle / seduction goes on forever. Building and building. He loses himself in what he’s doing and loosens his hold on my wrists. I claw and scratch at his face and everywhere I can reach when he grabs my hands again and flips me onto my stomach pushing my face into the bed and entering me roughly. To my shame, I come immediately.
“See baby. I told you. You’re perfect. We’re perfect.” He groans and raises up off of me. Reaching into his “magic drawer” he opens a condom and slides it on. My breathing is returning to normal and before I can move he is behind me and I feel warm lubrication on my backside.
No way! This is not going to happen.
He is “shhhing” me and soothing me like a baby and circling his fingers around and around with the warm slickness. He is in seduction mode again and speaking soft words of love in both English and Russian.