by LS Sygnet
“Huh,” Johnny grunted. “Well, work first has apparently been your motto for longer than we’ve known you, so it’s probably best that we stick with that for the time being. Are you planning to come back and be present for the second search?”
“Do you want me there?”
“I figured you’d be itching to get back to a certain someone’s bedside, since it was so very hard to drag you away in the first place.”
“Johnny, cut her some slack here.”
“Stay out of this, Crevan. I’m still not so sure I buy your reason for lack of interest in her too.”
“You’re being an ass,” Crevan said. “If you want her, talk. Listen to her. But don’t be so goddamned hostile to everybody you think might have interest that you can’t decide if you have or not. It’s screwing up the flow of work and our personal relationships.”
“You sure work fast,” Johnny muttered. “In a matter of months you’ve managed to sway even my closest friend into being your ally.”
I threw up my hands. “That’s it, Johnny. I’m done trying. Crevan, if you want my help on this case, you know where to find me.” I glanced at Johnny. “As for you, when you decide you can talk to me without accusing me of being the town whore, maybe I’ll be willing to talk to you again.”
His fingers manacled my arm. “Don’t go.”
“I can’t stay on the roller coaster. You strike. You apologize. I try to get closer. You push me away. I give you space. You get mad at me and treat me like I’ve betrayed you when all I’ve tried to do is give you what you wanted.”
“Helen, I know. I’m sorry.”
Crevan slinked out of the room behind me and closed the door.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked. “There’s something else going on with you, Johnny. I can’t fix it. I can’t help you fix it if you won’t tell me the truth.”
“You kissed me,” he whispered. “It did something to me that I…”
“Didn’t like?”
“Can’t quite process. You were there, begging me to be with you… touching me… and then you went away.”
“Johnny, I wanted you with me tonight.”
“How would I have handled it?”
“We won’t know until you try, and if you can’t trust me at all, you’ll never handle it well. It won’t matter if you get your memories back.”
His fingers tightened on my arm. “Did anything happen tonight that you left out?”
I nodded. “Madden asked me to have dinner with him – before he found out that the victim is his nephew.”
“And?” teeth gritted, jaw muscle started leaping.
“I won’t go unless you come with me.” My fingers tiptoed down the buttons of his shirt. “I love you, Johnny, but until you really believe it, hearing the words won’t change a damn thing.”
Chapter 15
In the trailer of the second truck we examined, Johnny found the bloody flathead screwdriver that Maya had described as a potential murder weapon. As she suspected, the tip had been filed razor sharp.
“Don’t suppose we’d be so lucky to lift prints off of this,” Johnny said while the state crime lab bagged the evidence. After a brief argument with Johnny over evidence continuity, they planned to deliver it to Forsythe’s lab for all the testing.
“If we do, I’d lay odds that they’re going to match Fulk Underwood’s prints.”
“You think he’s guilty of murder, Helen?” Crevan asked.
“I think that if he’s innocent, someone is going to great lengths to make him look guilty as sin,” I said. “Devlin and Chris were both positive that we’d find hard evidence that implicated him. Given the temperature yesterday and the fact that Underwood is the last person to claim he touched Madden’s equipment, it might well be fact that he’s the killer.”
“Because the body temp wouldn’t have been sustained in this cold trailer.” Johnny shivered and rubbed his hands together quickly. “Getting the equipment into the backstage area late should’ve drawn some attention.”
“It might’ve, if Underwood wasn’t known for slacking off on the job,” I said. “Because of that, people might’ve been accustomed to seeing him come in with the equipment at the last minute.”
“On the bright side, we’ve got the actual crime scene now,” Crevan said.
“You and Briscoe need to find these women that Underwood allegedly met Sunday afternoon,” Johnny said. “If they can alibi him between five and seven, that should give us a better idea of his involvement in all of this.”
“What I can’t conceive is why Underwood would kill someone and put the body in equipment he knew he was responsible for, knew would be in use later, knew would point the finger at him as the guilty party. He’s really not a stupid guy,” I said. “Unless he’s counting on his intellect saving him.”
“I don’t follow that one,” Crevan said.
“He’s too smart to do something like that, ergo, he’s being set up. Isn’t that what you’re thinking, Doc?”
“Exactly. Meanwhile, if this personality disorder business that the military used to throw him out of their club is in fact an element in this case, Underwood finds a whole lot of validation and secondary gain in being the innocent man falsely accused.”
“We’re not gonna find anything more than circumstantial evidence, are we?” Johnny asked.
“At this point, I’d say no. Unless we can find Underwood’s alibi girls and find their word beyond reproach, I’m afraid we’re not going to have much more information now than we had when the crime was discovered. Underwood keeps pointing me at Madden. Madden and a bunch of other people keep pointing at Underwood. Meanwhile, we’re not any closer to figuring out who killed Kyle Goddard.”
“Are we ruling Madden out as a suspect?”
“No, Crevan, we can’t do that until we get the other side of the story from Theo Goddard,” Johnny said. “If he confirms that it was Madden’s fear for Kyle’s safety that caused the family rift, maybe then he’ll fall lower on the suspect list.”
“Right,” I said. “The photo I showed him was from Kyle’s driver’s license. He looked very different in drag. I suppose it’s not inconceivable that his sexual encounter was with Madden, disgusting as that sounds.”
Crevan rubbed his chin. “So they’re getting hot and heavy… maybe Goddard gets off and confesses his true identity. Madden goes nuts, not only because he just got another dude off, but because it’s his blood relative. He snaps, picks up the nearest object and stabs the kid.”
“He hates Underwood as much as everyone else seems to,” Johnny said. “Maybe it’s a no-brainer to frame him for murder.”
“It could even be that learning he’d just has sexual contact with a man, one that he knew as a baby, was enough to make Madden dissociative. He could truly not remember what happened,” I said.
“So if that’s what happened, even if it wasn’t Madden,” Crevan carried the hypothesis a few steps further, “say the guy freaks, stabs Goddard and flees. Underwood might’ve come in late to do his thing for the show. He figures hell, I didn’t kill this kid. But maybe I can pull something off that makes Madden look like a piece of shit.”
“This is excessively speculative. We need some facts, and we need to start scrutinizing both time frames and see who had opportunity,” I said.
“What we really need is to talk to Madden’s local family and see if we can get an idea what this rift is really all about,” Johnny said. “What did he say the younger brother’s name was?”
“Rham Goddard,” I said. “Don’t be surprised if it boils down to petty jealousy, Johnny. Scott Madden has an enviable life in the eyes of some men. Women too, I’d imagine.”
He inched closer to me. “I think we’ve wrapped up all we can do here. I talked to the tour manager. They’ve postponed the band’s next two shows. He said Madden is pretty freaked out about what happened and made it clear that in no way will they leave before we’re certain that they’ve cooperated fully with ou
r investigation.”
“That sure makes him look like he’s got nothing to hide.”
“Yeah,” Johnny agreed. “So, are you going home or back to the hospital?”
I glanced at my watch. Creeping up on four. “Home,” I said. “I doubt they’d let me in at this hour anyway, but I feel like I haven’t slept in days.”
“Oh.”
“Would you like to come with me?”
Johnny’s left shoulder rolled. “If you need to sleep, I should probably just head back to my place.”
“If that’s what you really want.”
“Is it what you want?”
“No, but I’m not going to push you.”
“Do you really think that sleeping under the same roof will make a difference in what I remember?”
“You spent an awful lot of time at my house,” I said. “You never know. It might spark a familiar feeling or two.”
“Tony said I practically moved in.”
“There are a ton of suits in one of the closets off the master suite. I wouldn’t expect you to feel like you have to… well, sleep with me.”
“Could I? Just sleep, I mean.”
My throat constricted, palms started sweating. “Of course you can.”
“Maybe we can really talk, Helen, without getting interrupted for once.”
“I’d like that.”
“All right. Let’s go home.”
I felt true empathy toward the mail order brides of the world after I undressed and donned my typical worn, soft sweats for bed. It was the least sexy nighttime apparel known to man, but I felt naked, as if I was going to bed with a man I knew was my lover but was a complete stranger.
Johnny seemed equally stiff and awkward. His spine was straight, the broad muscles across his back taut with tension. He laughed softly when I rounded the corner of the bed shyly and entered his field of vision.
“I don’t know what I expected, but I get the sense that this is normal for you.”
“It was – unless I’d had too much to drink and had to rely on you to get me undressed.”
Johnny ducked his head. “I can only imagine.”
“And I never complained.” I folded the comforter to the foot of the bed and peeled back the blankets. “If you’re not comfortable with this, I’ll understand.”
“I’m fine,” he said softly. “We never fought over who sleeps on which side?”
A slow blush crept up my cheeks. “No, but then again, we didn’t spend a whole lot of time hugging the edges of the bed either.” I hadn’t wondered in the past if it was his usual habit to roll to the center of the bed with open arms with the other women from his past. I suppose all women want to believe that how the man they love holds them at night is different from how he treated all who came before her.
Johnny frowned. “Really?”
“Promise, but like I said. I wouldn’t be offended –”
“I’ve never been much of a cuddler is all. I guess we’ll see what happens.”
The lights went out. I adjusted the flame in the fireplace to a soft, orange-yellow glow. We lay beside each other, staring at the ceiling for long, uncomfortable minutes.
Johnny spoke first. “You like purple.”
“Hmm?”
“There are purple flowers all over this room.”
“Sterling roses,” I said. “You gave me a bouquet once.”
“Yeah? I’ve never heard of them before.”
I didn’t jog his memory any further. That bouquet hadn’t turned out so well, and was the incident that I often cited as what prompted Johnny to start digging around in my past.
The bed dipped, and Johnny’s weight shifted to the middle. One large paw gripped my right hip and tugged me into the center of the bed. “Mmm,” he sighed. “This feels better.”
“You’re only saying that because I told you this was how we slept together.”
Our eyes met. “No, Helen, I wouldn’t lie to you. This feels like something that has been missing, maybe longer than my poor zapped memory. Am I right?”
“We were so close to fixing everything when I went off and did something stupid again,” I whispered. “I hate myself for causing your injury, Johnny.”
“I get the distinct impression that you’re a high maintenance sort of girl, Doc. Not that I’m complaining, but I sure hope you’ve decided to think before you jump into the thick of things from now on.”
“Hopefully, I won’t be doing this job for much longer, and the temptation will be gone.”
Johnny’s arms tightened around me. “What does that mean?”
I gnawed on my lower lip.
“Spit it out. You do that thing with your lip whenever you don’t want to tell me what you’re thinking. I’d rather have the truth up front and be left scratching my head wondering why you never told me what you wanted.”
“I didn’t plan to stay here permanently.”
“In this brand new house you had built after Jerry Lowe blew up the previous incarnation?”
“My goal was to come here and do everything in my power to see Danny Datello brought to justice, and –”
“Whoa, back up a second. Why would you be so interested in our local thug?”
“Let’s just say I had a vested interest in all the Marcos family going down in flames together and leave it at that until your memory comes back.”
“So you don’t want to live here now that you caught your number one guy?”
My fingers danced over Johnny’s shoulder and sifted through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I suppose I didn’t, but that was before.”
“Before what?”
“You wormed your way into my heart. I could live without the job. I’m not so sure I can live without you.”
“Slick words, Helen. I’m not completely convinced you mean them.”
“Johnny, I’ve never felt the things I feel with you before in my life. That’s the truth.”
“I thought you used to be married.”
My face burned in the darkness. “Yes, that’s true.”
“And you didn’t love him?”
“No.”
“Then why –?”
“Johnny, it’s a very long and complicated story. I thought I loved him. And then I learned the truth about the man I married. Whatever I felt, died, was strangled by the ugliness of his lies. And even on the best day of my marriage to Rick, it was emotionless compared to what I’ve known with you.”
“Which is why you’ve been by my side every step of the way since I got hurt, right?”
“I already told you –”
“Shh, I know,” hands soothed away the tension that suddenly bunched and tightened in my back. “I’m sorry, Doc. It seems to me that it would’ve been easier for you to stay away from me all together if you really plan to leave Darkwater Bay now that you’ve accomplished your mission. Datello is in jail, awaiting trial, in a case that’s about as airtight as one could’ve ever hoped. Why stick around now?”
I’m sure he expected an answer. I chose to view the question as rhetorical, mostly because I wasn’t sure which one of us was more confused, Johnny or me.
Chapter 16
The headline of the Sentinel proved that Downey Division was bearing the brunt of Belle Conall’s frustration that nobody would share information with her regarding the suspicious death at a Pan Demon concert on New Year’s Eve. The fact that she managed to weasel her way close enough to Scott Madden to shoot off a few questions which were promptly answered with utmost hostility hadn’t done much to improve her mood.
Crevan shook his head and tossed the morning rag onto my kitchen table. “It’ll only get worse from here.”
“I haven’t forgotten how she operates,” Johnny snapped. A not so subtle dig at me. Maybe a lie would’ve put him in a better mood this morning. “This isn’t about what Downey is or isn’t willing to divulge to that vicious harpy. OSI is taking the lead on this case, so for her to think she’s gonna wring some kind of exclusi
ve statement out of Downey is flat out stupid.”
“I don’t disagree, Johnny. I hope you’re prepared for part two of her attack. She’ll come at you any way she can now that her former in with Downey isn’t quite so keen on talking to her.”
“Crevan, you didn’t share sensitive information with her in the past, did you?” I asked.
“No, but she helped herself to anything she could eavesdrop on or outright steal out of my notebooks. When I moved out, my police scanner mysteriously disappeared.”
“How childish,” I muttered. “It’s not as if they aren’t for sale to the public anyway.”
“Exactly,” Crevan said. “But that’s my darling ex-wife. I’m just saying. Keep your guard up where she’s concerned. She plans to scoop every reporter in the city on this story, by hook or by crook.”
“Remind me to get someone else on speed dial for breaking news in the case,” Johnny said. “So, speaking of the job at hand, are the Goddards coming back to town today?”
“Earliest we expect them is tomorrow afternoon,” Crevan said. “Tony’s out right now setting up a time for you to talk to the other Goddard brother, Rham. We can get a head start on what’s really brewing between these brothers. Maybe it’ll help us determine if Madden is really involved in what happened to his nephew.”
“His alibi is tight for both times in question,” I said. “Then again, if Underwood was telling the truth, we’re looking at a scenario where Scott Madden has surrounded himself with people who wouldn’t bat an eye over lying to protect him.”
“What is it about that guy that inspires such loyalty?” Johnny fumed. “He’s not attractive. He’s a hell of a lot older than even I am, struts around playing music like he’s the Second Coming, drinks and uses drugs, can’t settle down in a steady relationship because he can’t keep it in his pants – yet the world stands in awe before him.”
“He’s the quintessential bad boy,” I said. “Women swoon. Men envy. We, and by that I mean society, don’t want our rebels to grow up and become responsible. We want them to continue to represent that free spirit we all wish we could embrace but are too level headed and responsible to grab.”