Not About Love (This Love Book 2)

by Hilaria Alexander

  When they left, I sat down, dumbfounded.

  “Boyfriend, huh?” Ella said to Boyd, eyebrows raised, questioning him.

  “Look, I might be wrong, but that guy came off like a jerk. It seemed like the right thing to do,” he growled. He looked at me and I nodded, my eyes communicating the thank you that wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

  “Or maybe you just wanted to mark your territory,” Ella teased him. My head shot up and I looked at her, eyes wide, surprised by how bold she was being with him. I couldn’t even look in Boyd’s direction, but I saw his shoulders rise and fall from the corner of my eye as he took a slow, steadying breath. Ella and Boyd were engaged in a staring contest. I understood what she was doing, but I didn’t think this was the time or the place.

  Lou looked uneasy, to say the least.

  “I want to propose a toast,” Lou offered, probably trying to distract us from the awkward encounter and Ella’s bold comment. A smile stretched across his face and he raised his glass, looking at each one of us. “Come on, everyone, raise your glass.”

  We did as he asked.

  “To us. May we always be surrounded by friends and people who love us. May next year be our best one yet.”

  “Hear, hear!” Boyd said, raising his glass.

  We all clinked our glasses and cheered.

  * * *

  “So that was your ex-boyfriend,” Boyd said when we got back to his parents’ house.

  “Yes,” I replied, staring at the same picture of him that had caught my attention the night before.

  “He broke your heart, didn’t he?”

  “I thought you didn’t do personal, Boyd. Isn’t this a little bit too much into personal territory?”

  “Answer the goddamn question, Red. What happened between the two of you?”

  “Why do you care?”

  “Because I do. I thought we were friends. I thought…I thought we could…talk about things.”

  Oh, now he wanted to talk? Sure.

  “You want to talk? Fine, I’ll tell you about him if you tell me about your band, and about the girl in the picture.” I pointed at the photo on the wall and looked up to him. Just as I thought, he didn’t want to talk about it just as much as I didn’t want to talk about Shane. “Was she your girlfriend? Is she the one who broke your heart?”

  “Fair enough. I don’t need to know. I just didn’t like seeing you upset.”

  “Thank you.” I looked down, trying to swallow the knot that had formed in my throat.

  “Listen.” He let out a breath. “I’d like to see you when I’m back in Amsterdam, but I just…I just want to make sure…” He hesitated.

  I exhaled and playfully rolled my eyes at him. “I don’t expect anything from you, Boyd.” My voice sounded upbeat, but inside I was anything but. Meeting Shane had left a sour taste in my mouth. I wanted to forget about it. I wanted to forget about the last few hours. I knew getting in bed with Boyd one last time would help, but he’d promised to drive Lou and Ella to the airport.

  “Thank you for pretending to be my boyfriend,” I told him, unable to stop the smile stretching across my face. It had been incredibly sweet of him, and I had been surprised how quickly he’d caught the change in my mood.

  “That’s what friends are for.” He glanced at me, and the dark look he gave me made me wish once again that we had time for a goodbye fuck.

  “I’m going upstairs to get my overnight bag. I better get on the road.” I turned around and headed for the stairs. He grabbed my hand and stopped me. I turned to face him, and he glanced around to see if we were alone. His parents were still out, and Lou and Ella were holed up somewhere. I saw the most delicious grin appear on his face.

  “I bet you need help with your bag, don’t you?”

  I breathed out a laugh. “I sure do.”

  “HELLO, STRANGER.” BERTIE SMILED AT me, pulling me into a hug. I smiled back and wrapped my arms around her, lifting her off the floor. “Boyd! Put me down! I’m too heavy!” She slapped me on my shoulder.

  “Aww, come on…stop saying stupid shit, Bertie!”

  “I did not miss that nickname.” I put her down on the floor and brushed her hair away from her face. I took her chin in my hand, forcing her to look at me.

  “Hmmm, why do I think you’re lying, Bertie?” She responded with a scoff. “So you didn’t miss the cute nickname I have for you. What did you miss? Did you miss me?” I had a cocky grin plastered on my face. I couldn’t deny it—I was happy to see her. I had missed her feistiness, and I couldn’t wait to be buried inside her.

  “You know what I missed.” She smiled as a faint blush colored her cheeks.

  “Tell me,” I demanded, leaning toward her, running my nose along her jaw. My beard tickled her, and she squirmed in my arms. She searched for my lips and kissed me on the mouth. Mmmm. My lips parted and her tongue wrapped around mine, stroking and sucking. I couldn’t help but think of another place where I loved the feel of her lips.

  This woman was going to be the death of me. One kiss and I was already hard, already thinking about grinding against her.

  “I missed your cock.” She looked at me while biting her bottom lip. She looked so sexy. Did she know how much she turned me on? Her hands roamed over my chest, and then she brought them down around my waist. She inserted two fingers in the waistband of my jeans and pulled me to her, walking backward toward her bedroom.

  “I thought we were going out to eat,” I teased her.

  “Later,” she replied in a sultry tone. “You know, Boyd, New York isn’t the only city that never sleeps. We can find anything we want later on, but right now I want you.”

  I bit my lip and smiled. “Well played, Red. Can’t say I disagree. In fact, I can’t fucking wait to eat you up.” She let out a shallow breath and let go of me. She started taking off her clothes, slowly, and I prayed I had enough patience to enjoy the show.

  * * *

  “We need to stop doing this,” she whispered, breathing heavily against my skin.

  I scowled at her. Way to ruin my high. Why in the world should we stop doing this? Bertie was talking nonsense.

  The last few days had been insanely busy. After a couple days of meetings, I was up to my neck overseeing construction on the space the investors and I had chosen for the gym. It was an older building, and it needed a lot of updates.

  Still, after a busy day, my favorite thing to do was meet up at her house or at the place I was renting. I didn’t want to stop seeing her, although I was scared of the fact that I couldn’t get enough of her. I would never say it out loud, but the truth was, Bertie had almost turned me into a monogamous wimp.

  It wasn’t good. If this ever got out, it was going to be terrible for my social media reputation. I preached so much about wanting to be free and never tying myself to anyone, but I couldn’t deny that in a deep—very, very deep—corner of my mind, I was entertaining the idea of having a real relationship with her.

  I liked her.

  She was smart, beautiful, and funny, and when we were together in bed…it was like fireworks.

  I raised myself up on my arms to get a better look at her face.

  “Why?” I asked in a low growl. “Do you have a secret boyfriend I don’t know about?” I asked her in a light and playful tone.

  She laughed. “No, I don’t.”

  “Then don’t say that stuff like that, Bertie. I like you. Why should we ever stop?”

  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying myself, and I know we have fun together…a lot of fun…”

  “Yes, and?”

  “Well, I was thinking…maybe we should stop what’s going on between us.”

  “Why?”

  “Just because…to be honest, you’re not even my type,” she said mockingly.

  “Oh, really? And who’s your type? Your ex-boyfriend?” She shook her head and kept a tight-lipped smile on her face.

  “Who’s your type, Red?” Silence. I smiled. “Who’s your celebrity
crush, Ally?”

  She gave me an ornery smile but didn’t answer.

  I tickled her side, and she squirmed.

  “Who is it?” I tickled her some more and laughed at her reaction.

  “Stop…stop, please. Boyd! Okay, okay…I give up.”

  “Who’s your type?”

  “Sam Rockwell.”

  “Sam Rockwell is your type?” I asked incredulously.

  She bit her bottom lip and nodded. “So much sex appeal.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Sure, the man’s got mad dance moves, but he’s got nothing on me.”

  “You think so?”

  “Positive.” I caressed her leg, and she stopped my hand.

  “Jokes asides, Boyd…the real reason I think we should stop seeing each other is because I think we’re too different.”

  “Different? How?” I wasn’t following her.

  “Yeah, we’re different.” She hesitated. “You’re this fitness guru/social media bad boy and I’m…I’m this.” She pointed at her body.

  “This…what? What are you talking about? What I see is this perfect body of yours that I can’t get enough of. Do you know how turned on you make me?” She smiled coyly, but didn’t look a hundred percent convinced. “You have everything that’s desirable in a woman. You have the three Bs, lady, the three Bs that count—at least to me.”

  “The three Bs? What is that supposed to mean?” I smiled, but honestly, I was kind of making that up. It was just the first three things that came to mind when I thought of her.

  “Boobs, brains, and beauty.” She laughed, and I bit her shoulder.

  “You think I’m beautiful?”

  Aw, man. Why were all women like that? Did she really think she wasn’t beautiful? She needed a self-esteem boost.

  “What are you getting at, woman? Of course I think you’re beautiful.”

  “But I’m not fit like any of the girls you hang out with. I’m too…curvy.” So that’s it.

  I frowned, and she replied with a look similar to mine.

  “You seem confused. Am I hanging out with any of them skinny bitches or am I here, in your bed, worshipping your body?”

  “Touché.” She bit her bottom lip and I wanted to bite it, too, but there was so much more I wanted to do to her. I needed to make her understand what she did to me. I went back to kissing and nibbling the skin over her stomach, but stopped suddenly. There was a fourth thing I loved about her.

  “Ahhh!” I exclaimed.

  “What is it?”

  “I knew there was something else—your butt. You don’t have the three Bs, you have four. I forgot your butt! How could I?” I smiled and gave her a peck on the lips.

  “Yeah, seriously. How dare you?” she joked. I knew I was being silly, but she seemed like she was enjoying it, and it distracted her from her silly thoughts. How could she think I liked her less than any of those other girls? They had nothing on her. She was the only one I kept coming back to, even when I shouldn’t have, because I knew better. I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t get enough of her.

  “My apologies. Turn around and let me ask for forgiveness.”

  She broke into a fit of giggles and did as I asked.

  I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT THE smartest thing I’d done was decide to have my office in the same building as my apartment, but now it had additional perks.

  Every morning I would get a visit from Boyd on his way out. He didn’t have a very strict schedule, but he would usually leave around ten. Sometimes, he’d text me during the day and we’d either make plans for the evening or he’d send something smutty to get me all riled up.

  Jeez, that kind of sounds like dating. I dismissed the thought. I just had a friend visiting, a dear friend who came with perks—quite impressive…perks.

  I hadn’t called him when he’d first arrived in Amsterdam. I knew he was busy, and I didn’t want to seem overly eager. It wasn’t really a strategy, per se, but I guess it worked, because just a couple days later, he called.

  Since then, we had spent every night together, either at my place or his.

  A shiver ran through me as I remembered what we had done the night before. The man knew how to torture me in the best of ways, but it wasn’t just that. Being around him was easy, which I had never expected. We liked to go out together and eat out…and then close the night eating each other out.

  I squeezed my legs together and felt my center pulsating at the thought of him.

  And then he appeared in the door of my studio.

  Good lord.

  He closed the door behind him. Sometimes, he liked to stop and say hello and bring me presents…of the orgasm variety. Unless I was slammed with work, I really had no objections. I loved these kinds of presents.

  A godlike man burying his head between my legs mid-morning?

  Sign me up. I felt wonderful after the amazing orgasm rush. I felt energized and alert; it was better than coffee.

  Coffee. That’s what I smelled. He was holding a cup of black heaven.

  “Is that for me?” I asked.

  He nodded and gave me a shy smile. I loved the rare bashful look in his eyes.

  “Thank you, kind sir. If you keep being the perfect guest, I’ll allow you to stay as long as you want.” I smiled at him, but he didn’t say a word, and for a moment I thought I might have said something wrong. Then I noticed the look in his eyes.

  Ahhh, he has plans for me. Sweet Tennessee gods, thank you for this man. He placed the coffee cup on my desk and then grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my chair. He took me in his arms and gave me a hot, wet kiss. His hands traveled to my ass, and he gave it a good squeeze. He seemed to be quite fond of my ass, and I had absolutely no objections in that regard. For once in my life, I had someone who appreciated the size of it.

  “I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye,” he said with an irresistible wink, interrupting the kiss. It was too soon. I needed more. My shoulders sank, and I made a face. “Now, now, wipe that frown away. I’m sorry I can’t stay and make you come, sweetheart, but I need to get going.”

  I let out a sigh. “Where are you going?”

  “Gym and then I’m getting a haircut.”

  I frowned. “Huh?”

  “It’s too long, and it’s getting in my eyes.” He brushed a strand of hair out of his face. I ran my fingers through his locks with one hand and put the other on the back of his head, examining the length. It was still pretty short in the back; it was just longer in the front.

  “What?” he asked, puzzled.

  “Just…don’t go too short. Leave me something to hold on to,” I breathed out, pulling his hair ever so slightly, my eyes fixed on his perfectly shaped mouth.

  “I like the way you think, woman.”

  He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me to him, our bodies flush, his smell overpowering my senses. Was the need for him ever going to go away? I couldn’t hold back. I had to kiss him again.

  The wicked grin that spread across his face was so delicious, it made me think stupid things I shouldn’t have even considered…like keeping him—but he wasn’t mine to keep, and he wasn’t really what I needed. He was just what I wanted, what my body couldn’t stop wanting.

  He’s not mine. Even as I thought it, he swooped in and kissed me, taking me by surprise. It was a slow, sweet kiss, the kind that means a little more than just You’re my favorite fuck buddy. It was the kind of kiss that reminded me what it meant to have feelings for someone. My chest felt heavy, but I blamed it on the fact that I was pressed against his hard body and had gotten so caught up in his delicious minty-tasting mouth and his eager tongue that I forgot to breathe. He broke the kiss, again, and let go of me.

  “Not too short. Duly noted.” He opened the door and left, leaving me frustrated and unfocused. My phone buzzed, and I grabbed it to check the text.

  I love nothing more than hearing your strangled moans while I make you come in your office.

  I blushed furiously. Thank God I was al
one.

  I promise to make it up to you tomorrow.

  Like I said, the man liked to get me all riled up. I groaned in frustration and went back to what I had been working on.

  * * *

  “How’s my brother-in-law?” Ella asked during a Skype call.

  I bit my lip and felt embarrassment color my cheeks. I would never get used to discussing Boyd with her, no matter how many times she asked me about him. Sure, I liked to tease her about Lou, but their situation was completely different.

  “So?”

  “I have two words for you: no comment,” I replied, refusing to look at the screen.

  “Oh, Ally! You like him! If you keep trying to deny it, I might even think you love him! You and Boyd! Who would have guessed?”

  “Stop!” I said, holding my hand up. “This conversation will be ended stat if you mention the L word one more time. Let’s keep it clean, shall we?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Good gosh, you’re so stubborn.”

  “Wrong words, young lady.”

  “Fine! I won’t mention the L word any more! But you have to admit you like him.”

  There was no way of hiding it. I did like him. I accepted defeat. “You’re right. I do like him. I don’t like it, Ella. I haven’t liked someone in so long,” I admitted.

  “I know,” Ella replied. “But I don’t understand why you want to be so stubborn about it.”

  “Arghh!” I yelled out in frustration.

  “Look, you just gotta stop fighting it. Remember what you used to tell me about Lou? To give him a spin? Well, I followed your advice and look at me now.”

  “Yeah, you look radiant,” I teased her, but it was the truth. She radiated happiness. “But, come on…things between you and Lou were always different. Even when there wasn’t anything going on, I could tell there was something between the two of you. Boyd and I aren’t like that. It’s purely physical, and I’ve spun him a few times already. I’m trying to get rid of him.” If only my body would learn how to turn him down.