The Life of Dad

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The Life of Dad Page 25

by Anna Machin

onset of 22, 85

  physical support during 86

  lactation see breastfeeding

  Lancaster, Sandra 34, 170

  laughter 160

  Lausanne Trilogue Play (LTP) 195–6

  Le Stunff, Catherine 253

  lesbian parents

  adopted children 65–6

  donor sperm 58–9, 61

  LeVine, Robert 106, 107, 111

  Li, Peipei 142

  lifestyle changes 76, 87

  limbic system 181–2, 183, 239

  linguistic development 37, 232, 235, 236, 242, 253

  non-human language skills 5

  Lions Barber Collective 96

  Locke, John 132

  loneliness 90

  see also social withdrawal

  Mace, Ruth 110–11

  Malmberg, L. E. 235

  Mäntymaa, Mirjami 242

  marginalization of fathers 78–81, 260

  and risk of PND 90

  marital conflict

  conflict management 194, 198

  impact on children 191–2

  inevitability of 201

  intervention programmes 199–200

  maternal gatekeeping 185–7

  spillover effect 190

  vulnerability of fathers to 190

  Mascaro, Jennifer 129

  massage 94–5, 99, 158

  maternal gatekeeping 185–7

  maternity care model, outdated 262

  maternity leave 115, 116

  matrilineal societies 49–50, 57

  medicalization of childbirth 75, 79, 124

  Meldrum, Jaren 171

  Mendel, Gregor 132

  mental health, poor

  coping strategies 91–2, 190

  gap between expectations and reality as factor in 120–1

  guilt issues 91

  lack of targeted services 90–1

  masculinity issues 91

  professional help 100–1

  risk reduction 187

  and social withdrawal 90, 190

  stigma of 90

  see also postnatal depression

  mentalizing 181, 207, 239, 240, 243

  midnight bottle 99

  midwives 259, 260

  Miller, Tina 42

  mothering privilege 30

  National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) 260–1

  nature–nurture 133, 134

  see also genetics

  Nāyar people 49–50, 57, 62

  negative experiences of childhood 142, 143

  neocortex 122, 128, 160, 182, 183, 207, 232, 238, 239

  nesting 28–9

  neurochemistry of fatherhood 22–5, 126, 130–1

  see also brain; dopamine; oxytocin; testosterone

  neurones 231

  neuroticism 26, 146, 149

  neurotransmitters 129, 135

  non-human species, fatherhood in 5–6

  non-nuclear family arrangements 58

  see also social fathers

  nuclear family 51, 59

  obesity 251, 253

  ‘old-fashioned dad’ 33, 112–13, 118, 257

  one-on-one time

  with adolescents 249

  with babies 91, 177

  online support communities 97, 98

  openness 26, 47, 146, 149

  oxytocin 22–3, 24, 130, 135, 136, 154, 162, 163–4

  baby–parent synchrony 140–1

  baseline 23, 24, 130, 136, 140, 141, 142

  bonding neurochemical 23, 38, 47, 130, 157, 161

  oxytocin receptor gene (OXTR) 135–6

  parent-to-parent synchrony 24, 25, 131, 140, 180

  pathways, development of 139

  release during caring behaviour 95, 122, 154, 180, 238

  release during play 164–5, 180

  synthetic 140–1

  Paquette, Daniel 174, 175–6

  parental relationship 178–202

  brain activity, differences in 181–3

  constructive communication 189

  emotional intimacy 197, 198

  impact on child’s development 192–3

  mutually supportive 185, 187, 189, 199

  predictor for family functioning 196–7

  relationship satisfaction 185, 187, 188

  roles, renegotiation of 193–4

  shared viewpoints 197, 198

  see also marital conflict

  parenting behaviours

  alignment 194, 202

  cross-generational influences 141–3

  gendered 179, 180

  genetic transmission 137–9, 144–5

  impact on child brain development 139, 142, 230–1

  impact of personality on 145–9

  mirroring 137–8

  see also poor parenting patterns

  parent–baby synchronous behaviours 139–40, 141

  Parfitt, Ylva 187

  paternity leave 53, 114–15, 116–17, 258, 263

  Nordic model 267

  North America 264–7

  ‘use it or lose it’ system 267

  pay gap 114

  peer support 95, 97, 98, 101

  Pembrey, Marcus 251, 252

  Pendry, Patricia 191

  personality

  changes in 26, 27–8, 47

  five dominant elements 25–6, 146

  impact on parenting behaviour 145–9

  parental alignment 26–7

  Pérusse, Daniel 138

  Pilkington, Pamela 94

  Pitman, Robyn 222

  pituitary gland 22

  placenta burial 71–2, 74–5

  play

  animal play 159

  beta-endorphin rush 159, 162–3, 165

  cooperative behaviour 173

  cultural differences 165

  effect on executive function 233–4

  evolutionary role 159

  gendered toys 38

  oxytocin release 164–5, 180

  preference for playing with dad 163, 164

  rough and tumble 158–9, 162–3, 165, 172, 173, 233

  survival-related function 159, 173

  Western fathers 165, 173

  poor parenting patterns 143–4

  bonding and 168–9

  impact on parenting styles 142, 143

  overcoming 144, 149–50

  professional help 150

  post-traumatic stress disorder 242

  postnatal depression

  co-morbidity 90

  economic and social costs of 93–4

  impact on child’s development 242–3

  maternal 88, 90, 93

  paternal 88–97, 156

  positive interventions 94–6, 100

  testosterone levels and 96–7

  pre-school setting 238, 240

  precocial young 7

  prefrontal cortex 122, 229–30, 232

  pregnancy, fathers during

  anxieties about impending fatherhood 41–2, 48, 77, 88, 95

  attachment, developing 30–2, 35–6

  biological and psychological synchrony 24–8

  bonding with the baby 21–48

  nesting 28–9

  visualizing family life after the birth 197

  working on your relationship 184, 188, 193–4, 195, 198, 200

  problem-solving abilities 232

  prolactin 77

  promiscuity 54–5

  male 5–6, 54–5

  survival tactic 56

  prosocial behaviours 248, 253

  protection 15

  see also survival, focus on

  psychosomatic syndrome 77

  see also couvade syndrome

  Ramchandani, Paul 94, 243

  Ratele, Kopano 57, 58

  reading bedtime stories 158

  resilience 143, 245–7

  ‘masculine’ traits 246

  resources 277–84

  Richaud de Minzi, María Cristina 247

  Righetti, Pier 31

  Rilling, James 129

&n
bsp; risk-taking, physical and emotional 245, 247

  The Risky Situation 175

  Rochat, Roger 109

  role model

  lack of good fathering role model 36, 77

  rejection of negative models 42, 43

  wanting to be a 42, 113, 213–14, 215–16, 248

  role(s)

  flexibility 54, 105, 121, 123, 124, 125, 126

  multiple roles and tasks 104, 111–12, 113, 171–3

  renegotiation 193–4

  tension between direct and indirect roles 116

  Rominov, Holly 94, 95, 100

  Roskam, Isabelle 26, 27

  Royal College of Midwives 259

  Satun people 71–2, 74–5

  Scaiola, Chloé Lavanchy 196

  Sear, Rebecca 110–11

  self-esteem 42, 94, 213

  ‘selfish gene’ 10

  separated or divorced couples 97, 185

  Shefer, Tamara 57

  singing 32

  single-mother households, role of social fathers 54–5, 56, 218–20

  skin-to-skin contact 158

  smoking 251–2

  social and cultural development 4, 107, 108–9, 208, 237–41

  social fathers 49–67, 218

  adopted children 65–6

  and the child’s educational development 218, 219–20

  cultural norms 49–50, 51, 54–7

  donor insemination (DI) children 59–63

  gay couples 63–4

  social learning 206–7

  social withdrawal 90, 241–2

  South African fathers 43, 57–8, 62

  sperm manufacture and motility 22

  spillover effect 190

  Sroufe, Alan 137

  ‘The State of the World’s Fathers’ (MenCare 2015 report) 262, 269–70

  statutory maternity pay 114–15

  stay-at-home fathers 103, 108–9, 114, 115, 120

  Steen, Mary 80, 81, 86

  stereotypes of inept dads 43, 257

  Stevenson, Matthew 186

  Storey, Anne 77

  The Strange Situation 174–5

  studies about the state of fathering 258, 262, 269–70

  surrogacy 63, 65

  survival, focus on 54, 75, 104, 105, 126, 182

  early man 4, 13, 126

  economic 107–8, 109, 111

  environmental risk 106–7

  flexibility requirement 105

  kin selection 10–11

  physical 106, 109–10, 111

  social and cultural 107, 108–9, 111

  Ta-Young, Loan 222

  talking to the bump 37–8, 47

  teaching and learning 15, 75, 111, 113, 182, 205–24, 244

  academic education 208–13

  animal learning 207

  cognitive ability 207

  cycle of learning 223

  father’s unique role 208–10, 211, 212–13

  hominin dads 4

  learning mindsets and behaviours 211

  scaffolding 214, 218, 219, 234

  social fathers 218–20

  social learning 206–7

  two-way process 221–3

  values 205, 214, 216–17

  testosterone 38–9, 127–8, 130, 135

  baseline 40, 127–8, 130

  challenge hypothesis 39

  couvade syndrome and 77

  drop in levels of 39–40, 47, 77, 96–7, 127, 130, 131

  empathetic behaviour and 128, 130–1

  and mate-finding 39, 40

  PND and 96–7

  and the shift from mating to parenting 39–40, 128

  toddlers 232

  transition to parenthood 35, 38, 42, 43, 59, 77, 82, 86–7, 221

  gendered experience of 188–9

  trauma, experiencing 147, 148

  Turner, Ralph 157

  twin studies 138

  Ulmer-Yaniv, Adi 161–2

  ultrasound scans 30–2

  4D scans 31–2

  unplanned children 77

  Vaske, Jamie 134

  Victorian ideal father 215

  weaning 228

  Weisman, Omri 140

  Western model of fatherhood 50, 51, 52

  Whelan, Thomas 94

  Wingfield, John 39

  work

  career compromises 119–20

  ‘family friendly’ policies 115

  flexible working 119

  return to 83, 113–14, 115–16, 117, 118

  workplace culture 115, 265

  work–home life balance 115–16, 118, 121, 268

  Wynter, Karen 169

  Yan, Jia 142

  young fathers 42, 43

  couvade syndrome 76–7

  negative narrative of 43

  transformed by being a dad 43

  Zagoory-Sharon, Orna 140, 239

  Zhang, Baoshan 246

  Zietsch, Brendan 132

  First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2018

  A CBS COMPANY

  Copyright © Anna Machin, 2018

  The right of Anna Machin to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

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  The author and publishers have made all reasonable efforts to contact copyright-holders for permission, and apologise for any omissions or errors in the form of credits given. Corrections may be made to future printings.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  Paperback ISBN: 978-1-4711-6140-7

  eBook ISBN: 978-1-4711-6142-1

  Typeset in the UK by M Rules

  Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY

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