The Weakness in Me

by Josie Leigh

  “Wow,” she whispered against his lips, breathless. Her pulse raced through his fingertips at the base of her neck.

  “I know,” Jason responded, shifting her on the lounge chair so she was on her back, his torso pressed between her thighs. They clung to each other, her hands exploring his chest, his reaching for skin under her shirt. However, with the change in position, he could now feel her trembling beneath him. He knew she wasn’t ready for this type of display yet and didn’t know what to do with the force of emotion pulsing through her and them. He’d had five years to come to grips with his love for her. He needed to give her more than five minutes to come to grips with hers for him.

  Pulling away was difficult, but he knew they had time to explore their relationship now. Next to the pool of the star football player during a cliché high school party was not the place to discover what made her moan and gasp, nor was it an appropriate place to rack up bases with the girl he was in love with. He was a gentleman, after all, even though he didn’t want to be one right now. Sitting back on the chair, he pulled her into his lap, letting them each catch their breath, as he massaged the back of her head.

  “If I’d known it would be like that…,” Sammy started, relaxing against his ministrations. Her fingers only tremors slightly as she pushed her hair from her face. “We should never stop kissing,” she chuckled, her cheeks turning a delicious shade of pink at her words.

  “I’ve never been more happy to agree with you, Sammy,” Jason laughed, embracing her tightly, her head tucked under his chin.

  **

  “He was a no show!” Missy yelled into the receiver the morning after she was supposed to ‘run’ into Jason at the movie theatre. She was unhappy she’d waited there two hours for nothing.

  “I know, I just found out from McKenna that he forgot his stupid inhaler and had to go back for it. She doesn’t have time to reschedule, so he’s going to take Samantha,” Jamie growled her disapproval. “If he’d just follow Sven’s advice, he’d be cured and we wouldn’t have to deal with setbacks like this!”

  “So this plan is off?” Missy whined. “I mean, everything else we had planned depended on this ‘chance’ meeting without Sammy around, right?”

  “Yeah, you already saw them at the grocery store, I don’t want an ugly scene again, and I know he’ll cause one if she’s beside him,” she sighed, grabbing the flask from her purse and taking a swig as she turned onto the street where Jason’s condo was. “I’m going to pop in on him now before he leaves for her house. I want to make him a little late.”

  “What about Garrett?” Missy offered out of the blue.

  “What about him?” she asked, pulling into the parking lot to find Jason’s truck already gone. She slammed her hand against the steering wheel and took the garlic pills Sven had given her from the glove box for situations when she couldn’t use her incense. Pulling one from the bottle, she washed it down with a swallow from her flask.

  “Well, Garrett wanted Samantha badly in high school,” Missy started, “and he was so mad when not long after they were on the road to getting together, she took a hard left and ended up with Jason,” Missy explained, picking at her nails as she sat at her cracked white Formica kitchen table, watching the neighbor’s kids lining up for the bus.

  “Okay?” Jamie drummed her fingers on the center console waiting for Missy to get to the part that would make her happy again.

  “Well, Garrett was Chester’s best friend, and he’d do anything for me,” she paused, “and it just so happens, he has a new hunting expedition company that needs some PR,” she purred her idea into the phone, getting excited as she worked out the details in her head. “Wouldn’t Samantha’s company just be a perfect place to get his business? All that time together pouring over ideas and contracts, could get steamy, don’t you think?” Missy asked, her tone suggestive.

  “This is why I love you, Missy! That’s perfect! Have him set up a meeting right away! Her husband’s been dead for almost six months now, she’s bound to just fall into bed with Garrett! I mean six months without sex has got to be like two years to a girl like her,” Jamie put her car in gear and backed out of the spot she’d been sitting in, and headed back to her house to await news that Jason would no longer be Samantha Castle’s willing little puppy dog.

  **

  Samantha looked at her appointment book for the day and sighed. She’d wanted to get home at a reasonable hour tonight, maybe have some dinner that wasn’t take out. It didn’t seem like the universe was going to let that happen, though. Growling at her tendency to be a workaholic, she picked up her phone and dialed Jason’s number.

  “Hey Sammy, what’s up?” he asked.

  “Do you have plans tonight?” she barked into the phone.

  “What did you have in mind?” he answered, huskily. She could almost see him waggling his eyebrows at her.

  Blushing and suppressing a giggle at the thought, she told him, “I just had an appointment pop up and I’m going to be late again tonight. I wondered if you could stick around with Corigan or if I needed to call my mom?”

  “I can do it,” he agreed. “Miranda is going to pick up Lucas around two and we were going to have some tea and catch up, if that’s okay?”

  “Tea?! Man, you really did grow up around girls, didn’t you? Didn’t even have a chance,” she laughed at her own joke. “But I’m glad you’re available. What do you want me to bring you home for dinner? The sky’s the limit, seriously! I really appreciate this,” she offered.

  “I know you’ve been looking forward to a home cooked meal, so why don’t Corigan and I go to the store after Miranda leaves and pick up a few things?” Jason asked, quietly, reading her mind.

  She was sure he was expecting to be met with resistance, but instead, she squealed, “I would LOVE that! Will you make--”

  “Chicken Marsala?” he asked, shocking her that he remembered.

  “Yeah, how’d you know?” she asked, still stunned, but she couldn’t stop the grin spreading across her face.

  “Because you used to ask for it every other week, Sammy. How could I forget?” she heard him laughing on the other end. “Of course I’ll make Chicken Marsala.”

  “And—”

  “Garlic mashed potatoes,” he finished.

  “You’re the best! I can’t wait to get home,” she said, now bobbing in her seat like an excited teenager.

  “I’ll see you later, Sammy,” he responded before the line went dead. Her giddiness melted into guilt as she realized how deep she was getting and how much she and Jason were starting to work like a married couple lately, rather than just friends. The only thing missing was…she stopped the direction of her thoughts before they spilled into a territory she wasn’t ready to go to, yet. ‘Wait!’ she thought. ‘Yet? I’m not going back there…ever!’ She tried to stiffen a resolve she was already starting to see the cracks in.

  “Ugh!” she groaned, knowing that she couldn’t continue to give him false hope that the two of them had a future again. She didn’t want him waiting around for her, it wasn’t fair to him.

  The prospect of talking to him about their comfort level weighed heavily on her mind as the day wore on, and she had trouble concentrating on some of the tasks she needed to accomplish to get home for dinner.

  “Mrs. McKenzie?” Laura called, knocking on her office door. “Your five o’clock is here.”

  “Great, send him in,” she answered, not looking up from her computer screen as Laura ushered in her potential new client. She knew it was rude, but she was on the last sentence of a contract and needed to finish. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Lewis,” she glanced up after typing the final period and saving the document. “What can we do for you?” she smiled.

  The grin froze on her face as she took in Garrett Lewis, former star quarterback and the last boy she’d sorta dated before she and Jason decided to change their friendship into something more. She let her eyes sweep over his muscular six-foot-five frame, his black
hair, deep blue eyes, and the neatly trimmed beard framing his perfect smile. He wore faded blue jeans and a t-shirt that matched his eyes and stretched over his muscles perfectly, but his attire made her business suit seem too formal for the meeting. If she were available, emotionally, she might’ve swooned. He was still gorgeous.

  “Samantha,” he said, as she watched him finish his appraisal of her. The way his grin turned from professional to lascivious made her feel more on display than she cared to be. She stopped herself from frowning when she recognized that his looks weren’t the only thing that hadn’t changed a bit since high school.

  “Great to see you, Garrett,” she said, half standing to shake his hand and indicating that he should take a seat on one of the black leather chairs in front of her desk.

  “You, too,” he said, sitting and crossing his jean legs and hooking his ankle over his knee. Leaning back in a relaxed posture, he stretched his arm out over the back of the chair beside him. “So I’m in need of some of your PR prowess,” he winked at her and waggled his eyebrows.

  “The information I have says you’ve started a hunting expedition company, is that right?” she asked and watched him nod in confirmation. “Are you looking for marketing assistance? Do you have any ideas?” she continued, trying to get a feel for what his goals were for their professional interaction.

  As he began to talk, she pulled out a pad of paper and a pen and started to take notes. Detailing his new company and the direction he wanted to go in to maximize his visibility, she couldn’t help getting excited. Immediately, Samantha started to jot down ideas for how her company could make everything he wanted for his hunting business happen. At the end of their hour, she knew they’d had a very productive first meeting and could work well together, professionally, on building his vision.

  “Thank you for your time today, Samantha. I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship,” he winked again as he stood to shake her hand, holding on to it a beat longer than she was comfortable with. She started to sense the meeting was moving in a new direction she wanted to nip in the bud.

  “I look forward to working with you more on these ideas, Garrett,” she said, trying to remind him that theirs would be a business relationship, only. Her smile becoming slightly forced as she watching him move toward her office door.

  “Hey!” he said, turning back to her abruptly. “I’m done for the day, want to grab some dinner and keep brainstorming?” he asked, as if the thought had just occurred to him on the way out of her office.

  “Maybe another night?” she offered, knowing that even though she’d been apprehensive about everything with Jason, she wanted to go home to him tonight. The thought that she might be looking forward to him, rather than the meal he was preparing, brought a frown to her lips.

  “Oh,” he answered, sounding dejected and just a touch angry. “So it’s true then?” he continued, his voice harder.

  “What’s true?” she asked, feeling defensive at his anger, even though she had an idea where this line of questioning was going.

  “You and Wright are together,” he stated. Samantha felt an odd sense of déjà vu settle over her as thoughts of a similar conversation with Garrett nearly twelve years ago circled in her head.

  “Um, no, we aren’t,” Samantha countered, her voice flat, but her hand gripping the pen in her hand at the accusation. She was beginning to wonder if the people of Covington really had nothing better to do than to gossip about her.

  “Oh?” he sounded surprised. “Then why not come to dinner with me?”

  “Because I have a daughter, Garrett, and I have to get home to take care of her,” she rolled her eyes at him overlooking such an important reason and indicated the several pictures of Corigan throughout her office. Frustrated by the turn of events, she grabbed her coat and purse, trying to indicate to him that the conversation was over. She almost started to whine when she realized that he didn’t seem to get it.

  “Don’t you have a sitter who can stay with her?” he dismissed her reasons for turning him down. “Of course you do! Let’s go,” he tried to take her hand, but she pulled away as they walked out of her office toward the, now empty, reception area and the front door.

  “No, my sitter has a life, too, you know. He may have plans tonight,” she said, growing more and more agitated at his inability to take no for an answer. She walked faster after ushering him outside and locking the dead bolt to her business.

  “So Wright is your manny?” he laughed at the idea harder than appropriate as they walked through the deserted parking lot.

  “No, he’s a friend helping me out on his days off work,” she snarled as she approached her car. “And I need to get home now, but we can make an appointment for next week to continue our discussion about your business,” she reminded him one last time.

  “Fine,” Garrett agreed, angrily. “But, I’d love another chance with you,” he glowered, confusing her with his tone and the words. “Wright stole that opportunity from me eleven years ago. I’m not going to waste it again,” he finished, stalking off to a large, bright yellow, lifted Dodge Ram with a pair of purple truck nuts hanging off the back.

  “Yeah,” Samantha mumbled to herself as she got into her car. “It’s Jason’s fault that I wasn’t with you in high school, it had nothing to do with the fact that you were an asshole. A contracted relationship is all you can expect from me, Mr. Lewis,” she scoffed, watching him peel out of her parking lot. “And truck nuts? Seriously?” she asked her empty car, “Those do not instill confidence in me that you aren’t still a complete asshole.” Shaking her head, she started her car and headed toward the Chicken Marsala she knew was waiting on the table for her. She tried to convince herself that the dinner and coming home to her daughter was the only reason she was excited to go home tonight. Jason’s presence didn’t give her heart even a tiny jolt anymore, she told herself, hoping that she wasn’t lying.

  Chapter 12

  “OH GOD!” Samantha moaned into Jason’s shoulder as his lips latched onto her neck, just below her ear. “I love when you do that,” she hissed.

  “I know,” he said, his lips vibrating against her collarbone, as he wrapped her leg around his waist and pressed her into the tree behind her house. “We need to figure this out before we end up naked in your backyard and I’m sure Mrs. Fitzgerald would love to look out her back window and see that,” Jason said, frantically, as his hand moved under her shirt, cupping her breast over her bra. All Samantha could do was let out a moan that felt like it had been ripped out of her chest, involuntarily.

  “Why can’t we go to your house?” she asked, pushing her breast further into his hand, and thrusting her hips against his.

  “Dad’s asleep and mom and the girls are home today. They think I have soccer practice, that’s why we had to sneak in the back way,” he explained. “Why can’t we go into yours, Sammy? No one is home.”

  “But, no boys allowed, Jason,” she whined, not wanting to disobey her mother’s rules, even though she and her sisters would be gone for, at least, another hour.

  “Please,” he begged, rocking his hips in rhythm with hers until she felt like she was going to burst into flames from the contact.

  “FINE!” she agreed, pushing him away from her and taking his hand. As they snuck toward her kitchen door, a familiar voice called to them from the street.

  “FUCK!” he whispered, loudly, at being caught.

  “What are you guys up to?” Garrett asked, jogging up to them.

  “Um, we were going to go inside and start on our math homework,” Samantha answered, smiling too brightly. She felt an ache settle deep into her core, knowing that she and Jason wouldn’t get their alone time today.

  “Bullshit, Sam. I know the look on your faces,” he growled. “I think you two need to calm the fuck down.”

  “How is that any of your business, Lewis?” Jason asked, puffing out his chest in challenge.

  “I’m sure your mom would be n
one too happy to find out what you were doing, Wright! Yours either, Sam,” he said, putting his hands on his hips.

  “Seriously?” Samantha asked, her jaw dropped in shock that he’d make such threats.

  “You may have stole her from me, Wright, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit by idle while you fuck her,” he warned, before taking a seat at the table on her back patio. “Now, math homework you say? What a coincidence! I need some help with that assignment, too!” he said, grinning like the cat that ate the canary, as Jason and Samantha deflated and sat down beside him, knowing today wasn’t their day.

  After nearly two years of heavy foreplay in cars and secluded areas of the park, they were both ready to take that step, but they never seemed to find an opportunity to be truly alone. Samantha didn’t want their first time to be against a tree or in the backseat of a car. They didn’t want their relationship to play out like a high school cliché, but with constant interruptions like this, they wondered if they’d be left with no choice if they wanted to finally be together.

  **

  After their initial meeting, Samantha set Garrett up with Joe, one of her senior account reps and a hunting aficionado. She hoped it would get him to back off, but it seemed to make him think he had a shot with her. She wondered if he thought that she’d passed him to another member of her team so that there would be no conflict in their possibility of dating.

  After two and a half months of hard work, the campaign was officially ready for launch and Garrett had all of his backers in place for his new expedition company. She had no doubt he was going to be wildly successful in the venture. However, he was getting more and more agitated at her refusal as the days and weeks wore on. Everything finally came to a head in late March the week after the business officially launched and the press kits were all sent out.