The Weakness in Me

by Josie Leigh

  “Sammy! It’s not true, I promise,” Jason’s blue eyes seemed to plead with her, but his message did not compute in her anger.

  “Really? REALLY, Jason!? You expect me to believe that? After my sister just caught her harlot red lips around your dick?! And she calls you three nights a week to rescue her?”

  “I was only doing what my mom asked when I picked her up. She said Missy was having a tough time with her dad’s death. And right now, I was passed out. I thought it was you, Sammy,” Jason said, yanking her body to look at him, his words more desperate with each passing second. It didn’t work. The rage coursing through her body made her numb to his assertions.

  “Don’t you dare call me that! I’m not your SAMMY anymore!” she finally found her voice, pulling away from him and stripping off her engagement ring. She hurled it in the direction of the bed. “He’s all yours,” she spat before ripping from Jason’s grasp again, “I’ll be back for my stuff,” she choked out and ran from the room, refusing to let them see her cry.

  **

  “Lucas was so sweet to ask if Corigan could sleep over for his birthday,” Samantha said when Jason opened the car door for her. “But why are we at your place tonight?”

  “I just have to pick something up, and then we’ll head out,” Jason answered, taking her hand and leading her toward his condo.

  “You know, with as much time as we spend at my place, you should consider not renewing your lease,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

  “Are you asking me to move in with you and Corigan, Sammy?” he asked, unlocking his door and pushing it open.

  “Maybe not,” she sneered, looking at Jason in disbelief at the woman sitting on his couch and pulling her arm from his.

  “Sammy,” he said, stopping her before she bolted. “Think about this. I mean, really think about this. Does her being here make any sense?” he continued slowly, trying to coax her back from the brink.

  “No, but—”

  “He’s right, Samantha. My being here doesn’t make any sense,” Missy said in a small voice before taking a deep breath. “I came to tell you the truth.”

  “The truth?” Samantha asked, finally deciding to walk through the doorway. “Do you even know what that is?” she scoffed.

  “I do, and it’s time you learned it, too,” Missy said, looking at Jason for the first time. Samantha could feel the tension radiating from him at Missy’s words. “Do you want to help me tell this story, Jason?”

  “That depends,” he said, looking back at the blonde on his couch. “Are we telling the real truth, or your distorted version?”

  “The real truth, Jason. I promise,” she said, sliding her fingers over her heart in a cross.

  “Okay,” he answered, resigned. “You might want to have a seat, Sammy,” he guided her to the corduroy couch Missy had vacated to stand beside him. She didn’t miss the grateful look in his eyes as he looked at Missy, before clearing his throat. “I’m not going to be nice, Missy.”

  “I don’t expect you to, Jason,” she whispered, confusing Samantha as to the direction of their words.

  “I told you, you don’t know the truth,” Jason said, turning back to Samantha. “You think I cheated, but the only thing I was and am guilty of is drinking too much and defending a viper I thought was a friend,” his words coming out harsher and clearly directed at the woman standing beside him.

  “But Sara-…-and Missy…,” Samantha stammered, searching her brain for a logical explanation, but coming up empty. She knew what she saw that night six years ago… didn’t she?

  “I lied to you, Samantha. I wanted to take him from you,” Missy admitted. “I wanted you to pay for stealing something I thought was mine. Something I was told was mine.”

  “I was never yours, Missy,” Jason’s eyes were cold as he looked at her.

  “I know that now,” she answered, quietly.

  “Can someone, please, tell me what I saw!” Samantha yelled, bringing them back into the conversation. The words that flowed out of their mouths turned out to be more shocking than what she thought was the truth.

  Jason staggered down the hallway toward their bedroom. Knowing he drank too much this time, he clawed at the duvet making a large hill out of it at the foot of the bed. Jason pulled off his pants and shirt before collapsing onto the bed, widthwise, on his stomach, with his body between the pillows and the mountain of blankets. Languidly, he moved toward his pillow and rolled on to his back before passing out completely.

  “Mmmm…,” Jason moaned some time later as he felt Sammy’s slender fingers slip under the elastic of his boxers, finding him hard and ready for her. She smelled of strawberries, ‘Odd,’ he thought, ‘my Sammy always smells like vanilla.’ Chalking it up to his drunken senses playing tricks on him, he moved his hand to caress her hair as her mouth began to slide slowly over his dick. His finger slid through her curly- ‘WAIT!’ he thought, slowly opening his eyes to look at who was bent over his waist.

  “Missy?!” Jason startled back toward the headboard of the bed, pulling himself from her mouth. “What the FUCK are you doing?”

  “I’d like to know that myself,” a familiar voice said from the doorway.

  “Sara! This isn’t what it looks like,” Jason said, quickly, pulling his boxers back into place.

  “Really?! Because you seemed to be enjoying yourself,” Sara snapped before turning on her heels and lunging through the party crowd, weaving in and out like a champion. She was, no doubt, on her way to tell his Sammy what she thought she witnessed.

  Turning toward Missy, he saw the blonde lounging on the bed he shared with Sammy, licking her lips in satisfaction.

  “Well, now that she’s taken care of, why don’t we get back to the good stuff?” she smirked.

  “No, Missy, I’m not interested in you!” he snapped. “You need to go, now!”

  “That’s not what you were saying five minutes ago,” she pouted. “How about if I do this?” she asked, pulling her aqua cami top over her head, exposing her small, but firm breasts to him.

  “WHAT THE FUCK?!” Jason heard from behind him.

  “Oh, hey Sam. I’m sooo glad you’re here! We can finally get this out in the open,” Missy said, gleefully.

  “And what might that be?” Samantha asked, taking in the scene in front of her.

  “Jason and I are fucking, we have been for awhile,” the blonde continued, looking at home on Sammy’s pillow. “I mean, you can’t possibly be naïve enough to think he was just picking me up during all those late night visits, right?” she finished, batting her eyelashes.

  “Sammy! It’s not true, I promise,” Jason’s blue eyes went wide at Missy’s lie, his throat burning from all the alcohol he consumed trying to make its retreat from his body.

  “Really? REALLY, Jason!? You expect me to believe that? After my sister just caught her harlot red lips around your dick?! And she calls you three nights a week to rescue her?”

  “I was only doing what my mom asked when I picked her up. She said Missy was having a tough time with her dad’s death. And right now, I was passed out. I thought it was you, Sammy,” Jason pleaded, grabbing her shoulders and imploring her to see the truth in his eyes.

  “Don’t you dare call me that! I’m not your SAMMY anymore!” she screamed, stripping off her engagement ring and hurling it at Missy. “He’s all yours,” she spat before ripping from Jason’s grasp, “I’ll be back for my stuff.”

  Before Jason could react in his inebriated state, Samantha was gone. Walking over to Missy’s discarded shirt, he picked it up and whipped it at her. “Get the fuck out, I can’t believe you would lie like that,” he said, coldly. “And after I defended you to her…Fuck you, Missy.”

  Hurriedly, Missy threw her shirt on and raced from the room as Jason barely made it to the toilet to deposit the contents of his stomach. As he retched, all he could think about was how he’d gotten so drunk he’d lost control of himself. He knew he’d just cost himself everything he’d
ever wanted. He’d lost his Sammy, he just hoped it wouldn’t be forever.

  Samantha’s eyes widened at the confession, trying to process the familiar, but brand new story she’d just heard. “Why didn’t you tell me this before? It’s been over a year since we made up, Jason. And you,” she said, pointing at Missy. “How could you do that to me? You knew how much I loved him.”

  “I was jealous, Samantha, and I let someone convince me that you weren’t good enough for him. You always seemed so cold, so emotionless. I didn’t think you cared,” Missy explained.

  “Who?” Jason’s voice turned dangerous.

  “What do you mean?” Missy startled.

  “Who convinced you that she wasn’t good enough?” he clarified.

  “Your mother,” she admitted.

  “She’s the reason?” Jason asked, deceptively calm. “She’s the reason I missed out on my life?”

  “I thought you said it was okay, Jason?” Samantha accused, putting her hands on his shoulders to calm him. “I met Caleb, remember? I have Corigan. You stopped getting black out drunk every weekend.”

  “I have to accept that now, Sammy, but—”

  “No buts, Jason. We have to accept that it happened. You drank so much back then. It was obvious that neither of us was ready for the responsibility of a marriage,” Samantha acquiesced.

  “I’m so sorry,” Missy whispered.

  “Thank you, Missy, but you can leave now. You’ve done your part,” Jason said.

  “Okay,” she said.

  “Wait!” Jason called her back. “How’d you get in here?”

  “Your mom still doesn’t want you and her together,” she shrugged as she walked back to the door after passing off Jamie’s spare key.

  **

  “I never thought I’d meet the person I was meant to spend my life with when I was five,” Jason began after the door closed behind Missy, rubbing his palms on his pants. “Those eyes could always look right through me to the truth. I was devastated when you left- that you didn’t see the reality of the situation that night. I was so mad that you had so little faith in us that you could just walk away. You didn’t even try to listen to what really happened. You just walked away. Why?” Jason asked, unshed tears gleaming in his clear, blue eyes. “Why did you let a lie destroy us like that?”

  “I don’t know,” Samantha whispered. It was the truth, she really didn’t know why she’d held onto a lie for so long. “I trusted my sister, I trusted my eyes, and I didn’t trust Missy. It was a trifecta… I guess the only thing I didn’t take into account was your love for me, Jason,” she took a deep breath before leaning forward to grab his hands in hers. “But I meant what I said, I can’t be sorry for how it all happened. If I hadn’t left that night, I wouldn’t have known Caleb, I wouldn’t have Corigan…I could never wish that away. My time with him meant so much. If the accident hadn’t happened, I’d…” she finally met his eyes again to see that they mirrored hers as tears spilled down their faces.

  “I know,” he said, lifting a hand from hers and gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I can’t fault your happiness, but GOD, I missed you. There is no one for me, there never was, there never will be. Only you.”

  “You have to admit that we needed this,” Sammy put her forehead to his. “We weren’t ready for the life we were living. We were playing house. I see that now.”

  “You’re right,” Jason conceded. “But it wasn’t for Missy and my mother to decide, Sammy. You see that, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I just wish I knew what I did to make her hate me so much that she’d plot to rip us apart like that,” she shook her head, sadly.

  “Well, then, I guess that’s what we need to find out so we can all move forward, huh?” Jason said, determinedly, grabbing Sammy’s hand and pulling her out the door again.

  Chapter 25

  Missy took a deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation she was about to have with Jason’s mother. Pushing the door bell, she wrapped the coat around her body and waited.

  “What are you doing here?” Jamie asked, pulling her pink silk robe closed before yanking the blonde through the door. “You’re supposed to be waiting for Jason to get home from his date with Samantha!”

  “They changed their plans,” she cleared her throat, watching the older woman barreling her way back to the bar bordering the living room and kitchen. “Lucas wanted to have a sleepover with Corigan, so they stopped by to pick up his work clothes after dropping her off.”

  “Perfect!” Jamie turned around, beaming. “And Samantha went ballistic on him, right? Stormed out?”

  “She started to,” Missy said, swallowing.

  “Started to?” she asked, confused at the direction the conversation was moving.

  “Jason stopped her. Asked her if what they were seeing made any sense. He looked so desperate to make sure she didn’t get the wrong idea and I finally saw what I’d been missing all these years.”

  “Saw what?” her eyes narrowed on the small blonde slumped on the leather sofa.

  “They really do love each other. It’s not some rebound from her marriage. She’s really forgiven him and willing to try again,” she said, her eyes as wide with astonishment as they were when she’d made the discovery. “I think Chester is willing to do the same for us.”

  “What does their being in love have to do with anything?!” Jamie screeched.

  “Why do you hate Samantha so much, Mrs. Wright?” Missy asked, mystified by the woman’s response to her news. “Do you not want Jason to be happy? Because I’m pretty sure he is.”

  “It’s not just her, Missy,” Jamie sighed, sinking into the couch, clutching her tumbler of scotch in one hand and setting the bottle on the coffee table with the other. “It’s that whole damn family.”

  “Okay?” Missy looked at her, confused; taking a sip from the glass of water Jamie had given her before fixing her own drink. “So why do you single out Samantha?”

  “Because she’s the only one trying to steal my son from me,” Jamie said, downing the rest of the scotch in her glass and refilling it immediately.

  “I don’t think she’s trying—”

  “I gave up everything for my husband. My youth, my ambition outside of our house, most of my friends,” she sighed. “Courtney, Miranda, McKenna and Jason became my everything. They were my sun, my moon, my Earth and they made all I gave up worth it. Their lives began and ended with me, too. They listened to everything I said and never questioned me, until that damn moving van pulled up to the house down the street,” her brow wrinkled at the memory of the day her life suddenly wasn’t good enough. “They pulled up in their car, in their Sunday best, and that little bitch stole my son’s heart away from me with one small stomp on his foot. He was lost. He didn’t ask me if he could play with her or if she could come over, he just did it. The girls quickly followed suit, talking about how amazing the Castle’s were and everything they had, like what I provided for them was no longer sufficient for them,” she sneered, pouring herself another drink.

  “Mrs. Wright, I think you’ve had enough,” Missy said, trying to grab the bottle of scotch from the table.

  “It’s never enough, Missy,” she shook her head, pulling the bottle from her reach. “When that little boy lived there before, he always asked permission, and his mother always came over to spend time with me while the boys played. She and I were alike, we stayed at home to take care of our kids like our mothers taught us, and we took care of our husbands. Not Kelly though. Kelly was too good to associate herself with the likes of me,” Jamie’s scowl becoming more and more dangerous with every word and memory spilling from her mouth.

  “Kelly worked, though. My mom baby sat for the Castles until Samantha was old enough to take care of her sisters alone. My mom started to look in on them again after she kicked her husband out. I’m sure she wasn’t trying to slight you,” Missy tried to explain, softly, wanting to calm her down.

  “That was part of it. Her
husband made enough that she didn’t need to work. She only did it to prove a point…that she didn’t need her husband either. That’s why my husband never wanted me to work. It’s any wonder she couldn’t keep him around and interested. And I know that Mr. Castle wished Kelly was more like me because I had to yank his hand from my thigh at a dinner party one night right before Kelly kicked him out,” she said, too happy to think about how Kelly’s cheating spouse had wanted her.

  “That’s it? That’s why you don’t like their family? Because your kids got along? And Kelly worked?” Missy asked, incredulously. Disbelieving that this was the entire reason Jamie had been so bent on getting Jason away from Samantha, she pressed her lips into a thin line, waiting for a better answer.

  Jamie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before looking at Missy, warily. “Don’t you see? I was two semesters away from a degree in nursing when I got pregnant with Jason. It was unexpected, but I was so happy. So was his father, but in order for us to be together, for him to even consider marrying me, I had to drop out of school. He already had an engineering career established and he said he’d be damned if he’d ever considered marrying a woman who was so focused on her hobbies that it overrode his and their family’s needs. He didn’t want strangers to raise his children, not that he ever participated either, but he said he was secure in the knowledge that I was always there waiting for him when he got home. It made him happy to know that my family was my entire world. He never doubted that I wouldn’t ever leave him. By Jason choosing Samantha, I feel like he’s telling me who I am and what I’m about isn’t good enough.”

  “So you wanted Jason to marry someone who felt the same?” she asked, looking at Jamie, her mouth gaping in surprise. “I have a career, too, you know?”

  “Yes, Missy, your little hair business can be done out of the house while the kids are at school though. Besides, it’s really more of a hobby, isn’t it?” Jamie narrowed her eyes, disapprovingly at the blonde on her couch. “Plus, I think my son deserves better than a career minded woman who will only leave him looking for something outside their relationship. Samantha has a large business with employees that will always come before my son and he’ll grow to be resentful. I mean, look how easily it was to get him to stray to you all those years ago. She didn’t know how to keep him interested in her before she even finished college. How is she supposed to keep him satisfied now that she has a kid with a different man and a company to divide her attention?”