A Broken Man

by Brooklyn Wilde

  Her heart raced, and her entire body glistened with sweat. Ethan grunted each time he jerked the handles, which only pushed her closer to the brink. She squeezed her pussy tight around him. Dizzying sensations spread outward until she screamed in ecstasy. Spots dotted her field of vision, and for a moment, she thought she might pass out. Ethan came almost immediately after Sarah, huffing and sputtering. He let go of the handles, and the basket dropped hard. Both of them panted unevenly.

  “Wow.”

  “Wow,” she agreed.

  “I’m going to have another one of these installed in the bedroom tomorrow.”

  She giggled and kicked her legs again, and then curled around Ethan, enjoying the gentle sway.

  “If our sex life gets any more exciting, you’re going to give me a heart attack.” He nuzzled into her neck. “This feels like a dream. Please don’t wake me up.”

  * * *

  In the weeks that followed, Ethan found himself daydreaming about all the things he wanted to do with Sarah and Jared, places he wanted to take them, sights he wanted to show them for the first time. Sarah had made him promise to be careful not to show affection in front of Jared; it was too soon to bring him into the fold, but they both knew he had his suspicions. Anyone could see how happy they were. Sarah had started singing to herself while she made breakfast. She never did that before. Ethan understood why she wanted to hide it, but Jared seemed to like her this way.

  Ethan did too. And he wanted to show her just how much when Christmas rolled around. It would be their first holiday together, and he was determined to make it special for all of them. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually looked forward to Christmas—maybe not since his parents had died. The feeling was strange in the best of ways. So on Christmas Eve, when Jared announced that he had a Christmas gift for Ethan and Sarah that he’d been working on, Ethan was filled with so much emotion that he could barely keep his voice from cracking.

  He called Sarah into the living room, and the two of them sat and waited to see what Jared had in store. They watched as he affixed a rope to the handle of the refrigerator door and called Dame into the room.

  “Dame, sit,” Jared said. She did.

  “Dame, lie down.” She obeyed.

  “Dame, newspaper.” Dame went to the front door, pawed the tennis ball Jared had hung, and headed outside. Her gait was so smooth Ethan sometimes forgot she was missing a limb. She returned a moment later with the paper and placed it at Jared’s feet.

  “Good girl.”

  Dame’s eyes glistened, and her tail wagged nonstop. She was having the time of her life.

  “Dame, water.”

  Dame trotted over to the fridge, pulled the rope, and stuck her nose inside. She gently took a bottle of water from the bottom shelf into her mouth and brought it back to Jared.

  The show continued for at least ten minutes. Sarah’s eyes filled with tears. Sometimes a mom needs to be reminded just how amazing her son is. Jared had taught Dame everything a service dog ought to know and a whole lot more. Dame practically beamed when everyone gushed over what a good girl she was.

  “That’s amazing.” Ethan leaned over to give Dame a good rub. “I could never have done this. Thank you.” He laid a hand on Jared’s shoulder, and a single tear slipped out of the corner of Sarah’s eye.

  “Well,” he said, “if we’re doing presents early…” His voice trailed off as he rolled toward his room.

  He returned a moment later with two envelopes and handed one each to Sarah and Ethan. They both looked at each other before tearing into the packages. Sarah stared at the paper in her hand for a long time before looking up at Ethan, confused.

  “This is a plane ticket to London.”

  “Yep, I got into that clinical trial I was telling you about.” It had nearly killed him to keep it secret from her, but he wanted so much for it to be a surprise. This clinical trial could change his life forever, and he wanted—needed—both her and Jared to be there with him, start to finish. The study coordinator had warned him not to get his hopes up, but it was no use. He could see himself walking through the streets of London with Sarah on his arm, Jared and Dame tagging along behind. He could hear the orators on their soapboxes as they made their way through Hyde Park. He could feel the hard ground beneath his knee when he dropped down to propose to Sarah beneath the statute of Eros in Piccadilly Square…

  “And I get to go too? Awesome!” Excitement was spilling out of Jared’s ears. Something seemed to occur to him, and he looked up. “What about Dame?”

  “Dame’s coming, too. Scored her a first-class ticket of her own.”

  “You hear that Dame? We’re going to London!” Jared dropped to the floor and gave the dog a good scratch. Ethan’s chest swelled with pride. He’d never seen Jared so thrilled—and he’d done that. He’d made that happen.

  “This is incredible.” Sarah’s voice was filled with disbelief. “When do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow night.” Ethan wished they were leaving right then.

  “Wow, that’s soon. For how long?”

  “Eight weeks.”

  “Eight weeks? We can’t be gone that long. I have to work. Jared has school.” Her face darkened. Ethan could tell she hated having to disappoint Jared. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he should have asked her before springing something like this on them. “I’m sorry. I wish we could go, but thank you. Really.”

  Ethan heard the words but couldn’t seem to make sense of them. “You have to come. Do you have any idea what a big deal this is? Can’t he miss a few weeks of school? He can make it up when he gets back.” He could feel himself getting angry. His temper had calmed so much over the last few weeks that he’d thought it was gone forever. That was apparently a mistake. He could feel his blood pressure rising, but he couldn’t seem to rein it back in. He’d planned every moment of the trip. He wanted to give them something special to start their lives off together, and she was ruining it. Without even knowing it, she was ruining everything.

  “It’s not that simple. He has to be there to keep his grades up. And even if he could make it up, there’s no way I could be away from work for so long. Especially on such short notice.”

  “Quit. Screw your job. You don’t need it.” He knew better, knew how much her work meant to her, but he’d said it all the same.

  “What does that mean? I do need my job. And I can’t just quit like that. Without even giving notice?”

  “Goddammit, Sarah, this is my life we’re talking about here!” He could hardly see straight.

  “What about my life?”

  “You guys, you’re upsetting Dame.” Jared put a protective hand on her back.

  “Shut the fuck up!” Ethan regretted the words almost as quickly as he’d said them. “I’m sorry, Jared. I shouldn’t have said that.” But it was too late.

  Sarah’s face went blank, like a door had slammed shut somewhere inside her. “Jared, pack up your stuff. We’re leaving.”

  “Sarah, wait,” Ethan tried to grab her arm, but she snatched it away.

  “We’re leaving.”

  She was already halfway across the house to her room. She hauled a suitcase out from under her bed and started throwing stuff in. Jared stood in the doorway staring at her. She saw him out of the corner of her eye and looked at her watch.

  “You have ten minutes to get packed. No arguments.”

  Jared backed out of the room, near tears. Ethan rolled up to the door and started to speak, but Sarah walked over and slammed it in his face. He’d made a mistake, one he never thought he’d make. And Sarah had every right to be pissed off. He didn’t blame her one bit. But he’d been so goddamned excited about London. If she’d just give him a chance to tell her how sorry he was, how he’d never do anything like that again…

  When she finished packing her suitcase, she flung the door open and dragged it out, nearly running over Ethan in the process. He tried to apologize and explain himself, but she would hear none of
it.

  “Jared, I’m starting the car. You have five minutes!”

  Ethan’s helplessness only made him angrier, but he wouldn’t let himself snap like that again. He could do nothing but watch as Sarah pulled the car up to the door. She wouldn’t even look at him. Jared’s face was streaked from crying by the time he dragged his own bag outside.

  Ethan’s heart dropped the instant he saw him. “I am so sorry about this. This is all my fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Jared nodded silently.

  “Let’s go,” Sarah called from the car.

  Jared trudged ahead. The fact that he had caused Jared pain hurt Ethan in a way that he’d never felt before. As he watched the boy walk away, head down and shoulders drawn in, he was struck by the need to do something, anything, to take that pain away.

  “Jared, wait!” Ethan whistled into the house for Dame. “Take care of Dame for me, will you?” He winced. Giving Dame up meant that he’d have to go to London all alone. He’d taken for granted just how much he’d come to love the dog. The thought of going to sleep at night without the comfort of Dame’s rhythmic breathing or waking up without her customary good-morning tail thump stung him to the bone, but he knew she’d bring Jared comfort. He didn’t have a doubt in his mind that it was the right thing to do. He turned to the dog. “Dame, get in the car.”

  Dame cocked her head to the side, as if she didn’t understand the command. Jared looked up at Sarah, a sort of resigned hope in his eyes. She huffed, but then opened the back door and motioned Dame in. The dog crawled into the backseat, and Jared filed in behind her. In a matter of seconds they were nothing but taillights fading into the darkness.

  And Ethan was alone.

  Chapter Twelve

  If something seems too good to be true, you can bet your ass it is. Impulse and abandonment. Was it abandonment if he’d wanted to take you with him? Didn’t matter. Life confirmed what Sarah already knew, that if you’re too goddamn happy, you’re about to have your heart ripped right out of your chest. The emptiness it left behind was staggering. At least she’d had the good sense to keep her shitty apartment. And ignore his calls.

  She’d half-expected him to show up at the clinic or on her doorstep. Expected or hoped? Didn’t matter. He never did. How many times had she asked herself if she was just being stubborn, leaving him before he could leave her? It had to stop. It didn’t matter anymore. He’d been back in the states for over a week now and hadn’t even bothered to come after his dog. He didn’t want to see any of them. Not that she’d give Dame back now, but still.

  “Mom, I’ve been thinking.” Jared popped his head into her room where she was reading. Reading, or staring at the same page for thirty-five minutes.

  “What’s up, J?”

  “I’ve been saving my allowance, and I want to buy you dinner on your birthday.”

  She’d almost forgotten it was her birthday. She was thankful for Jared. How did he always know just what she needed? That sweet thought was immediately followed by a bitter one. How did he get stuck being the one who had to give her everything she needed? She pasted on a smile.

  “Thank you, I’d love that. What should we have?”

  “Pizza. I ordered us some Rocco’s.”

  Oy. The last time she had Rocco’s pizza was that first night at Ethan’s place. All roads led back to Ethan. She had to stop doing that.

  “Sounds great. That was very thoughtful, J. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He lingered in the doorway.

  “You OK, kiddo?”

  “Mom, I miss Ethan.” He said the words with startling sincerity. That was the first time either of them had said Ethan’s name since he left for London.

  “I know, baby. Me too.”

  “If you miss him, why can’t he come back?”

  She sighed. “It’s complicated. I don’t think he wants to come back. And even if he did, it’s my job to protect you, and I should never have rushed into moving us in with someone we hardly knew. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “But I had fun at Ethan’s. He was my friend.”

  Sarah’s shoulders sagged. She’d been putting off this conversation for too long. Having it now was exhausting, but also kind of a relief. “We did have fun, didn’t we?”

  “Mom?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Did you love Ethan?”

  She let her mouth fall open. She wasn’t ready for that question. Who was this intuitive boy standing in front of her? How did he know so much? He seemed to be maturing before her very eyes. She thought about saying no, because it just seemed easier than telling the truth. But she looked up into his eyes and knew she couldn’t do that. She owed him more than that. “Yes. I think I did.”

  “But you don’t anymore?”

  “I…I don’t know.”

  “Because he messed up, right?”

  “Right. He messed up really badly.”

  “If I mess up, will you stop loving me too?”

  Sarah was up and across the room in the space of a second. She wrapped her arms around Jared and pulled him close. He smelled of peanut butter. “Of course not. I’ll always love you.”

  “But what if I mess up?”

  “Then I’ll forgive you.” Even as she said the words, she wondered how he was supposed to believe them, when she’d been so unwilling to forgive Ethan.

  Jared buried his face in Sarah’s chest. “I forgive Ethan.”

  She started to speak just as the doorbell rang. “Come on, pizza’s here. We’ll talk about this later, OK?” She grabbed her purse from the kitchen table as she made her way to the front door. “At least let me get the tip.” She flung the door open and immediately let go of the purse. Its contents scattered onto the ground at her feet, and the loose dollar bills she’d had in her hand floated lazily to the floor.

  Ethan.

  He was right in front of her, holding a pizza.

  Jared raced up behind her and grabbed the pizza box from Ethan’s hand. “You remember to ask for extra cheese?”

  “Of course.”

  Sarah looked over at Jared. “You knew about this?”

  He grinned. “We planned the whole thing weeks ago.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, and she fought hard to blink them back. She’d been ambushed, set up. What could she possibly say to him now after the conversation she’d just had with Jared?

  “Sarah, I’m sorry for being an ass. I know I screwed up, and I know it won’t be the last time, but…I love you.”

  There was no use denying it any longer. “I love you too.”

  “Forgive me?”

  “Swear you won’t yell at my kid again?”

  “I swear.”

  “Then I forgive you.”

  She took a step toward him, but he held up a hand. He set the brakes on his chair and then reached down to lift the footplates out of the way. With one hand on each armrest, he gave a heave and lifted himself up off the seat.

  “What are you—?”

  Before she could finish the thought, Ethan was standing. On his own.

  A sob caught in her throat.

  He took a step toward her. Wobbly and uneven, but a step nonetheless. He could walk.

  There was no holding the tears back after that. Ethan grabbed Sarah and pulled her to him. She buried her face in his shoulder. He kissed her hair when her body shook against him. God, she’d missed him, missed his smell, missed his strong arms around her.

  “The trial was successful, but I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me. They said it’s going to take months of physical therapy before I’m rid of the chair for good. You up for that?”

  “I think I can handle it.”

  He lifted her chin and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “Good, because you promised to take me hang gliding.”

  She laughed through the tears. For the first time, Sarah had to look up to Ethan. She stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on the corner of his mouth. The sounds of toenails skitter
ing across tile rang out from somewhere in the kitchen. Sarah swiveled around just in time to see Dame running at a full sprint right toward Ethan. She leapt and hit him square in the chest with her paws, tackling him to the ground. The sounds of his own laughter could barely be heard over Dame’s happy whimpers. He scrambled up to his knees. Slobber coated his face, but he didn’t care.

  “I’m glad to see you too, girl.”

  Dame pressed her body against Ethan and nuzzled her face into Sarah’s hands.

  “Well.” Sarah wiped Ethan’s cheek with her sleeve. “I guess you can stay for dinner.”

  “There’s just one more thing.” He stuck his hand in his pocket.

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  He pulled out a small, blue velvet box. Inside was an antique platinum and diamond ring—his mother’s.

  “Marry me?”

  ~ About the Author ~

  Brooklyn Wilde is a southern-born writer of contemporary romance. She loves complicated characters, good rum, and taking in strays.

  Discover more about Brooklyn Wilde here

  http://brooklynwilde.blogspot.com

  https://twitter.com/BrooklynWilde1

  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooklyn-Wilde/357765330976792?ref=hl

  http://amazon.com/author/bwilde

  http://www.goodreads.com/brooklynwilde

  ~ Also by Brooklyn Wilde ~

  A Flowerpot Christmas Tree

  This Christmas, she'll get exactly what she needs...

  40-something anthropology professor Lillian Chase knows how to be alone, even if the sights and sounds of the season make her a little lonely. When she’s not teaching classes, Lillian helps law enforcement solve missing persons cases through facial reconstruction. But the anthropology department finds this kind of subjective application a little too soft, and Lillian’s not sure she’ll be approved for tenure. Worse, though, she worries that she won’t be able to identify the skull of her most recent “Jane Doe” in time to give the missing woman’s family closure for the holidays.