The Mountains Trilogy (Boxed Set)

by Phoebe Alexander

  She was trying to detect jealousy in his voice, but there wasn’t any. Just good-natured teasing, she decided. “Oh,” she laughed off his question. “I was with Garrett last night. He went out with his buddies tonight after the show.”

  “I see,” James replied. “Garrett. Nice name.”

  Once again, she failed to detect jealousy, but there was possibly a tinge of sarcasm. “He’s an interesting guy,” Sarah said, wondering if he was visualizing her with another man, and what he could possibly think of it. If he wondered if he’d been replaced. You haven’t, she silently added.

  “Good,” he replied, “I’m glad you’re having fun! Show going well? Abby’s in it too, right? How does she like it?”

  “Oh, we’re having a blast,” Sarah gushed. “I think I’m going to audition for the summer show as well. They just announced the production and it’s a musical called Chess. I’ve never heard of it. I need to do some research I guess.”

  James smiled, “Well, research is your specialty!” She couldn’t remember him smiling this much when they were together in person. “I would love to see you on stage.” He looked sincere, like it wasn’t just lip service.

  Sarah wondered how much she could read into that statement, whether it meant he would love to see her in general or truly wanted to see her show. He didn’t strike her as the theater-going type. She fought off the memory of how it felt to be pressed against his body, his thick arms wrapped around her, the way her face fit into the cleft between his pectoral muscles, his chest hair tickling her cheeks. She had never felt that sense of security and...rightness...that was the only word she could think of to describe it...in anyone else’s arms.

  “Well, you’ll be home in the summer,” she responded. “So you could come see that show, I guess.” Her heart fluttered at the thought of him in the audience, his blue eyes fixed on her every move.

  He nodded. She wondered if he would bring Maggie. If she really would see him when he came back and what Maggie would think about that. If he’d tell her. “How’s Maggie adjusting to things?” she remembered to ask.

  “Oh, she’s adjusting just fine,” he answered immediately, without hesitation. “She’s got a job at the Laurel hospital. I’m sure you remember the place well.” He was referencing the time she spent there following her car accident the previous spring.

  The memory of that hospital sent shivers up her spine. She didn’t want to remember the circumstances that sent her there, but she could not forget how James had brought her flowers and waited patiently all day to see her, how he’d sat on the edge of her hospital bed and apologized for the fight they’d gotten into. How his eyes were so consumed with concern when he saw her lying in the bed connected to machines with tubes and wires. How he’d held her close to him despite all the machines.

  Suddenly she heard an explosion in her headset and the image being broadcast from James’s webcam went snowy with static. She heard a commotion in the background and then two more explosions, closer, piercing the air around her ears, reverberating through the speakers. “James?” she shrieked, seeing his body leave the webcam screen in jerky flashes. “James?” She thought she heard a garbled voice come through the line in response but it was impossible to comprehend.

  More thunderous booms. Some yelling. More static. And then...black.

  She kept playing that garbled message again and again through her head, on a constant loop. It was four words, five syllables and the more she replayed it, the more it seemed to be saying, “Sarah, I love you.”

  ***

  This attack is close, fuck, James thought as he immediately went into operation mode. In the wake of action, you just do, you don’t have time to think or feel, he remembered telling his sister once when she asked what it was like to go to war. He heard some yelling in the hallway and with one last glance at Sarah’s confused expression on his computer screen he ran for the exit to survey the extent of the damage, to see what needed to be done.

  There was smoke coming from the DFAC. Dust had been kicked up and between that, the smoke, and two helicopters lifting off several yards away, the air quality was horrible. There were other men running for cover. Yelling. Chaos. Just as he was beginning to get his bearings, he felt another explosion rock through his body and headed to take cover in the nearest bunker. He saw the debris flying through the air but didn’t have time to shield his head before it pierced his scalp. The adrenaline had kicked in so he didn’t feel the pain.

  He ducked inside the building next to his as he started to feel something warm trickling down behind his ear. He raised his hand to his neck and felt warm fluid oozing. And then dizziness. Shit, I’m bleeding, was his last thought and then...nothing.

  ***

  Chapter Eight

  An Expanding Force

  Sarah stood on the threshold of Jack and Rachel’s residence feeling woozy. Despite the warm rays of early morning sunlight tentatively flickering through the trees, she felt uneasy, unsteady, and consumed by a flat, gray uncertainty. She didn’t know if she’d actually been able to sleep after James’s webcam went to black. The night had seemed an endless cycle of tossing and turning, underscored by the soundtrack of pandemonium ringing in her head again and again, a purgatory between conscious- and unconsciousness.

  Rachel answered the door with a grin spread across her face, like she’d just heard a hilarious joke, but the expression faded as soon as she saw her best friend’s red-streaked, sleep-deprived eyes. “What happened?” she questioned immediately.

  Sarah took a deep breath and entered the house. I’m probably overreacting to all of this, she thought. He’s in a war zone. He said they’d been hearing fire but it wasn’t that close. I’m sure he just lost internet for a while. “Don’t worry about it,” she said to her friend and gave her growing baby bump a little pat.

  “Garrett? James? Which Y chromosome is giving you problems this time?” Rachel persisted. “Oh, I’ve been feeling the baby move!” she exclaimed, covering Sarah’s hand with her own right below her navel.

  “That’s wonderful” Sarah replied, summoning her strength and choosing to ignore Rachel’s question.

  “Seriously, did something happen last night?” They had made it into the living room where Thomas and Owen were still pajama-clad, shoveling cereal into their mouths in front of cartoons on the television.

  Sarah sighed. “I was Skyping with James and there were some explosions. His screen went black,” she explained quietly, hoping her son was too absorbed in the TV to hear. The last thing she wanted was Owen to be distracted worrying about a soldier thousands of miles away. Knowing her son’s capacity for empathy, that’s exactly what he’d do. He already asked Sarah every day how James was doing.

  Rachel understood the need for discretion and nodded. She mouthed the words, “I’m so sorry.” She stood up and headed into the kitchen, motioning for Sarah to follow.

  “I guess I’m not sure how long I should wait before I get worried,” Sarah admitted once they were out of earshot of the boys. “I sent him an email asking him to let me know he’s okay.”

  “Give it a couple of days,” Rachel advised. Then her face lit up as if the proverbial light bulb above her head had just been illuminated. “You could always go check with Maggie.”

  Sarah’s eyebrow shot up. “What?!” She shook her head adamantly. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t do that.”

  “Well, I’m sure she’s going to be the first person he contacts,” Rachel reasoned.

  “That’s an absolute last resort. If he’s okay, he’ll let me know,” Sarah said resolutely. At least I hope he will, she added silently, her best-guess translation of his last garbled words still tumbling around her mind.

  ***

  It didn’t take much of an internet search to bring up a recent story on CNN about an attack on a base in Afghanistan. Eight U.S. soldiers died and several others sustained injuries two nights ago, the report read. No names of the deceased had been released. Very little other infor
mation was available.

  This can’t be happening, she thought, staring at the screen in disbelief. He has to be okay. She remembered the chorus of rocks singing out to her in the mountains at Rachel’s wedding. An experience she could only describe as supernatural: all the powers of the earth joining forces to envelope her in a loving embrace, imploring her not to lose hope, to never lose hope when it came to James. It was a symphony of destiny sung just for her ears. She couldn’t lose faith. Not yet.

  Not ever.

  ***

  Dear Sarah,

  Thank you for your email and for keeping in touch. It means more to me than words can express! I know you’re terribly busy with teaching, acting, and charming the pants off all the men in the DC area! I am so glad to hear that things are going well for you and that you’ve come up with a viable solution for the Owen situation with his father. It will be interesting to see what happens with your daughter and her attempts to contact her own father. I know you want her to wait, but considering that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, let’s remember that Abby is a headstrong young woman and may seek out her father on her own. I hope you’ve prepared yourself for that outcome as well.

  As for me, my semester is in full swing, so to speak (wink!) Yes, I have been seeing someone. She’s a very young new professor in our Languages department from Italy. Oh, Sarah, we are having a delightful time together. My wife has recently taken on a new lover as well so we are both happily exploring our new relationships. But here is the best news of all: I’m coming to the U.S. around Christmas time to take care of a few loose ends with my research I did last year. I know it will be a busy time for you and your family, but I certainly hope we can plan to spend some time together. Please let me know what you think and I will send you my travel dates.

  I look forward to hearing from you as always, darling!

  All my love,

  Pawel

  ***

  “You seem distracted,” Garrett observed as he stroked his fingers down Sarah’s bare back, tracing the outline of her spine. “Everything okay?”

  “Are you sad the show is over?” she sighed. “I guess I’m having the dreaded post-show letdown, you know?”

  Garrett nodded and bent to plant a trail of kisses across her shoulder and along her hairline. “It can seem anti-climactic when it’s over. Our cast party sure was fun though, wasn’t it?” His tone was cheerful, as if he was trying to lift her mood with his own.

  “Except for the part where I was too worried about what Abby was doing to relax and enjoy myself,” Sarah admitted, shaking her head. “I think an adults-only party would have been a lot more fun.”

  “Agreed,” Garrett replied and coaxed Sarah onto her back. He kissed between her cleavage and down the middle of her torso. Sarah stiffened under the pressure of his lips and quickly sat up, pulling the sheets up around her waist. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, “I guess I’m just not feeling it today.”

  “Are you sure there’s not something else going on?” Garrett asked again, pulling her into his arms. He had learned to push her a bit to open up. It had to be done gently but persistently, and without judgment. He had become quite the master of it in the past few weeks.

  She sighed as she felt her guard go down, her body acquiescing to his touch. “Last week I was talking to James on Skype and there were explosions and then everything went black,” she confessed. “I haven’t heard from him since. And I saw on the news that some soldiers died in an attack in Afghanistan so...”

  Garrett rolled those concerns around in his mind for a moment. “James is the lover you had who deployed?” he clarified.

  She nodded, trying to keep the tears stinging at her eyelids at bay. She hadn’t slept well all week. Her email was silent. His Skype account was inactive. It had taken every bit of self-control she had not to drive to his house to ask Maggie what she knew. I can only imagine what she’d do if I just showed up at her doorstep, Sarah thought. I wonder if she really did know about me. If she’d know who I am.

  Her mother had advised her to be patient, that it might take a few days for him to get internet access again. Patience is not my strong suit, Sarah had retorted. And besides, now it’s been a week.

  Garrett was uncharacteristically silent, his only response was a light kiss to the top of her head. She rested her cheek against his chest and felt his strong, steady heart beating against her skin. Thump thump, thump thump. She remembered how James’s heart had sounded against her cheek when she laid against him, their limbs intertwined.

  “I still love him.” Sarah’s statement was more a confession to herself than to Garrett. The words slipped off her tongue as if she was compelled to say them by an external force.

  “Of course you do,” Garrett replied. “An intense love doesn’t just end. It might transition, it might fade or cool, but it will always be there, like smoldering embers.”

  She absorbed the poetry of his words before formulating a response: “I’m just struggling with how out of control the situation makes me feel.” She shifted again under the sheets, coming to terms with the fact that she harbored guilt over the lingering pain she felt, owning that feeling, as much as she hated it. “I have so much to be thankful for, so much to focus on. I have you and my wonderful children and Rachel and of course my students. I feel ungrateful.”

  Garrett laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous!” He took her face into his hands so that their eyes were aligned. She felt so small and childlike with his huge fingers grasping her cheeks and lacing behind her neck. “Sarah, you lost something when he left. And there is always going to be a wound there. It doesn’t make you ungrateful to grieve. It makes you human.”

  Sarah smiled and planted an earnest kiss on his lips. “Garrett, you are quite possibly the wisest 27-year-old in the universe.”

  “Well, maybe not the wisest, but I certainly do try,” he replied humbly, returning her kiss. His lips felt warm and soft against hers. “Sarah, you know I’m in love with you, right?” He said it nonchalantly. As if it should be completely evident.

  She pulled back ever so slightly so she could see his eyes sparkling with the words he’d just spoken. “Really?” she asked, even though she knew it to be truth. It was in his kiss, his touch, the tone of his voice.

  “You’re beautiful, you’re sensual, you’re so full of life and passion,” Garrett enumerated. “You really are an extraordinary woman. It would have been impossible for me not to fall in love with you.”

  “That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me,” Sarah said graciously. “I think you’re pretty remarkable yourself. I know we’ve only been together a couple of months now, but I feel very close to you.”

  Garrett tugged Sarah’s arms and pulled her so that she was straddling his lap facing him. “Good,” he grinned. “I hate labels and formalities and traditions, you know... but...I have to admit that I really have come to think of you as my girlfriend, for lack of a better term.”

  “Labels can be very helpful in defining parameters in relationships,” Sarah replied, putting on her Sociologist hat. “Relationship labels serve as an unwritten contract.”

  “Of course, Dr. Lynde,” he smirked at her sudden use of jargon. “I just prefer my contracts to be fluid and dynamic.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that,” she agreed, “as long as all the parties involved are on the same page. Just make me a promise, Garrett, okay? One promise.”

  “And what would that be?” His curiosity was piqued.

  “Just be honest with me,” Sarah requested. “About your feelings, about other lovers, about anything and everything. Don’t put any walls up, just let me totally in. And I will promise you the same.”

  “That sounds like a completely fair deal,” Garrett smiled. He brushed his lips against hers again. “I feel really lucky to have met you, Sarah.”

  “Likewise. You’re really good for me, you know that?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to kiss him again, t
his time darting her tongue between his full, hungry lips while his hands smoothed down her creamy curves. She felt his cock rising against her pelvis and knew that in mere moments, they’d be united again.

  ***

  Sarah’s relief came in the form of an email two days later:

  Dear Sarah,

  I’m so sorry about disappearing the other night on Skype. We had an attack and there was quite a bit of damage to the FOB including the DFAC, so we’ve been living on MREs for a week. Kinda sucks. I’ve got a few stitches where I was hit with debris and had a mild concussion. I’ll be fine though. Repairs are underway though and things are returning to normal. I’ve been in administrative hell getting all the paperwork processed

  I hope you weren’t too worried about me. I’ll be in touch soon.

  James

  Although Sarah had followed up with the reports of the attack and had never seen James McAllister on the list of the casualties, she was still beyond relieved to receive his email. She hated that he had been hurt. It’s too fucking close, she thought. Shit, I need a military glossary for these acronyms, Sarah thought, shaking her head and quickly doing an internet search so she could ascertain that it was the dining facility that was damaged and he’d been living on ready-to-eat meals. I bet those are unappetizing, she sighed. Still, her heart felt as if the weight of a million pounds had been lifted from it.

  She composed a short reply:

  Dear James,

  I’m so relieved to hear that you are okay, although sorry about all the damage and paperwork. Can you send me your address? I’d love to send you a Christmas present. All is well here in Maryland.

  Always,

  Sarah