With You: With you, I am who I want to be.

by Jensen Kristyne

  With You

  With You, I am who I want to be.

  Jensen Kristyne

  Copyright 2020 by Jensen Kristyne

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any manner whatsoever. For more information address Messy Modern Press, P.O. Box #226, Farmersville, TX 75442

  With You is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  First Messy Modern Press paperback edition December 2020

  For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Messy Modern Press at Business@messymodernpress.com

  Cover design by Natasha MacKenzie

  The Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at Library of Congress.

  ISBN: 978-1-7360998-0-3 (paperback)

  ISNB: 978-1-7360998-1-0 (ebook)

  www.messymodernpress.com

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  To all my readers from the start, my family,

  and my friends. I wouldn’t have made it here

  without you. You mean the world to me.

  Five Years Ago

  Mason

  At the top of Break Point Hill, there’s a massive field that sits open, directly beside a ledge. It overlooks our entire town of Elm Brook, and at the base of it lies a small pond that wraps the length of one side. To the locals who live here, it’s known as the Drop-Off because of its one-hundred-and-ten-foot drop from the top of the hill’s ledge to the water below. It’s the go-to place for rowdy teens looking to blow off some steam, drink, and mess around. And as for my friends and me, it’s our favorite weekly hang out—Saturday night parties at the D.O.

  "Just calm down. . . do you really think Luca is dumb enough to try anything with the two of us here?" I ask my best friend, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible, while I shift uncomfortably in my hoodie.

  Fuck it's cold.

  Why are we here again?

  "Come on, Theo, why don't we head back to the bonfire and see if—"

  "No thanks. I'm good."

  Okay . . . or we could just stay here, I guess.

  If I’m being honest with myself I saw the warning signs building from the moment Luca first arrived. Theo’s always hated him, and the fact that he’s been so open in his pursuit of Brielle tonight doesn’t help. He’s oddly protective when it comes to my sister, which I normally wouldn’t mind—only tonight I have other things on my mind . . .problems that don’t involve my sister’s love life.

  I slump back against a tree and kick my leg up.

  "Dude, why do you even care? She's my sister, and if Luca makes her happy then I'm happy for her. She deserves—"

  "Exactly, she's your sister and the guys had his fucking hands on her all night." Theo pushes off of the massive stone he’s been sitting on and tosses his gum off the cliff. I watch it fly out the twenty feet or so, before it drops and disappears into the night sky. "If I were you, I’d tell him he needs to back the fuck off!"

  "Oh, for the love of—come on, man. We’ve talked about this."

  Turning toward the clearing where the rest of our group sits, talking and drinking about nothing in particular, I can see the cute, brown-haired girl, Becks, with the pretty golden eyes and feisty mouth, as she tilts her head and stares in our direction. God, I hope I get the chance to kiss her tonight. Last weekend I chickened out.

  "Talked? Talked about what?" Theo’s voice perks up.

  The not so subtle change in his tone snaps me out of my inner thoughts. I watch as he takes a step toward the clearing, when a blonde mess begins working her way around the opposite side of the pit. She stumbles but catches herself—the roaring flames of the bonfire highlight her familiar features.

  I look at Theo, then slide my eyes to my drunk-ass sister. Why the hell does he look annoyingly mesmerized by her?

  "Brielle, man!" I groan and shove his shoulder. “We’ve talked about Brielle!”

  Half laughing, Theo rubs his chin like he always does when he’s weighing his options. He continues to observe her, when Luca calls out her name. The sound of his voice sparks something to flash behind Theo’s eyes.

  Wait. Is he . . .?

  Theo shakes his head when he catches me glaring. "Just chill out, would ya? Nothing’s changed. We both know Luca is the perfect guy for her."

  I nod and look back at my sister, who’s currently walking like she's just landed on the moon. Oh for fuck’s sake! The girl’s only had . . .what . . .three wine coolers? How the hell is she such a lightweight?

  I turn when I hear Theo let out a breath, as he shoves a hand through his hair.

  "I just want her to be happy." His words are flat and broken. "I won’t let Luca disrespect her. He needs to realize how lucky he is."

  I open my mouth to answer him, then shut it, just as Brielle comes tumbling through the tree line.

  "What's the deal?" she asks, but because she’s drunk, she yells. "I thought only girls went to the bathroom together?"

  Theo smiles, shaking his head. The apparent shift in his mood rubs me the wrong way.

  He motions for her to turn around. "Go back to the clearing, Brielle. The tree line isn't safe."

  "What?" She rolls her eyes as if she’s remembering something. "Oh, I get it. . . Jessica isn’t here to distract you tonight, so you're taking it out on the rest of us? Is that it?"

  What? Distract him?

  Oh shit!

  I cut my eyes to Theo, then quickly look back at my brave-ass little sister. I almost forgot she’d walked up on the two of them making out last weekend. Theo’s been fuming the entire week because of that little incident. He hates being interrupted, especially when the person doing the interrupting is Brielle.

  Damn. She has no shame.

  "Seriously, go.”

  "No."

  "Brielle . . ."

  Brielle squints and squares her shoulders with Theo’s. She hesitates for a moment before she moves to walk further into the tree line, which unintentionally places her closer to the ledge.

  Ah fuck. This isn’t going to end well. All I need is her drunk ass falling off the cliff; how would I explain that to Mom and Dad?

  I open my mouth to yell at Brielle to come back, when I see Theo reach out and grasp her arm. She turns and glares at him. The vision of the two of them together, like two burning stars on the verge of a stellar collision.

  "What the hell, Theo!" She spits out.

  I watch as Theo leans in close to her, to the point where only a couple of inches now separate them.

  "Please, just . . . don't." His voice is low, pleading.

  Why do I feel like a creeper, watching an intimate moment between two people in love?

  "Fine, then. Let. Go." She rips her hand away.

  I’m sorry? Am I missing something here? I silently ask myself. I mean, I know Theo is only reacting this way because he’s trying to watch out for her, but fuck . . . this is weird.

  I take a moment and sweep my eyes around the surrounding area. The thick brush of trees we’re standing in line the outer corners of the field and hug each of the far sides of the ledge. "Okay, why don't we just head back to the rest of the group?" I offer aloud, desperate for a solution out of this rapidly growing, awkward situation. My head is pounding, and sadly it’s not from the beer.

  "Fine," Brielle says, staring unnervingly back at my best friend. She turns back toward the field and starts walking again. Theo is close behind her.

>   I watch the two of them walk off in front of me. Theo’s mouth is moving as he and Brielle carry on talking, but I’m too far away to make out a single word.

  Sighing, I raise my hand up to pinch the bridge of my nose, as my eyes trail beyond them to Becks. Fuck it. Right now, there’s only one thing I need to be focusing on, and that’s kissing the girl I’ve had a crush on for months. I don’t care if Theo says she’s not into me. I like her. So I’m going for it. Tonight.

  With a deep breath, I fix my hoodie and take the final step out of the tree line and into the clearing. As I do, a gust of wind carries up my hood and rustles my hair. Theo pulls out his phone and checks it. I see the screen come alive in his hands, and then his expression darkens.

  “What’s up?” I ask.

  The only time I ever see him look like this is when something’s up with his dad—the asshole drunk who likes to play the role of a father in public, but in private, he’s the lowest form of a man—a devil in disguise. He really believes that none of us know he hits Theo. We’re not blind. We’ve seen the marks he leaves behind.

  “Um, nothing . . .” Theo finally answers me, shoving his phone deep inside his pocket. “There’s just this thing I forgot I have to do for my dad tonight.”“Thing? What thing?” Brielle spins around when she realizes we’re no longer following her.

  “It’s . . . er . . . actually, I can’t say.” He rubs at the back of his neck. “But I should probably head out. My father’s pissed I haven’t already left.”

  I know I’m going to regret asking, because I know the shady shit his father is into, but I have to know. “Where’s this “thing” you have to pick up?”

  “Crossroads.”

  “Crossroads—shit! That’s . . . fuck! Well, nice knowing ya, man!”

  “Oh shut up, Mason. Theo can’t go there alone!”

  Brielle’s eyebrows knit along the center while she flashes me a look that terrifies me as much as the idea of going to a place like Crossroads.

  My sister is known for being the wild one in our group. You tell her she can’t do something, or that she shouldn’t, and she makes it her mission to prove you wrong. And drunk Brielle is worse. All I need is for her to start an all-out brawl, which Theo and I will have to save her from.

  “Okay, fine. How about I go with Theo and you stay here?” I offer.

  Theo nods in agreement with me.

  “Sorry, boys. I’m going. Becks too!”

  “Where are we going?” A familiar voice asks. The voice that tempts my dreams and that’s stolen my heart.

  I pinch my eyes shut before I turn to the side and find Becks standing just off to the right. Her golden eyes are glossy as she stares up at me.

  “Nowhere . . .”

  Brielle swats my arm, then says, “Crossroads, bitch.“Oh hell yes! When do we leave? I know this sick bar that we could—”

  Bar?

  What bar?

  Becks knows about bars?

  “No! No way! It’s not happening!”

  I turn to Theo, hoping he’ll back me up, when I see he’s shaking his head. Our conversation earlier today about my needing to “play it cool” idly drifts through the back of my mind.

  Right. Shit.

  “Look, Brielle, it’s not a good idea,” Theo says. He pushes a hand through his hair again, like he’s nervous about whatever he’s going to say next. “This place is not the best crowd, and if something happens it’s not going to be good. It would just be easier if you stay here. I can’t afford to be distracted while I handle this, and I don’t have time to babysit you.”

  Oh shit. Here we go.

  I take a giant step back.

  “Babysit!” Brielle yells. “Are you joking me?”

  Becks walks backward to join me at my side. Neither of us want to be within spitting distance of Brielle when she’s pissed.

  Brielle pushes up on her toes and locks her eyes with Theo’s. “For your information, I don’t need a babysitter! In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a kid anymore!”

  “Aren’t you though? You’re like what . . . fifteen?”

  I choke back a laugh when I see the anger twist along my sister’s face. I haven’t seen her this pissed since Dad told her that Santa wasn’t really a fat, jolly man who came down our chimney to deliver her presents—that he was really just Mom in a fuzzy, red robe.

  I snap back to the moment at hand when Becks’s elbow slams into my side, urging me to intervene. “Oh, ugh . . . okay, you two.” I take a wary step in their direction. “Maybe we should all just take a moment and—”

  “Shut up, Mason!” Brielle yells before she turns back to Theo and jams a finger into his chest.

  Well, I tried.

  Brielle wastes no time and continues, “I’m sixteen you asshole! But I’m not surprised you haven’t noticed because you’ve been too busy shoving your tongue down Jessica’s throat every chance you get!”

  Wait? What?

  What does Theo kissing Jessica have to do with any of this?

  “God, it was the one time, Brielle! Get over it! Besides, she kissed me! When are you going to let that go?”

  Theo rolls his eyes and I worry that she’s pushing him too far. I shuffle my feet a step or two, when Theo does something that catches me off guard—he gently laces his fingers around Brielle’s wrist.

  “You know what? It doesn’t even matter how old you are. You’ve got Luca, remember? What about him, Brielle? And you just broke things off with Chad . . . you can’t pin this all on me.”

  As the voice of reason, Becks takes the chance to jump in and say, “I have an idea. How about we all go, but everyone who’s not Theo stays in the car? That way we’re still there if he needs us, but we’re not in any danger. Then . . . afterwards . . . we can all hang out?”

  I feel like my head is about to explode as I try to figure out what the hell Brielle and Theo are really arguing about, when I see something flash in between them, like they’re only just realizing that they have an audience.

  Theo drops her wrist.

  Brielle rolls her eyes.

  “Great. Now that that’s settled, Brielle, why don’t you go tell Luca we’re leaving. Knowing where we’re going, it might be better if he comes too,” I say after a minute passes.

  Theo lets out a chuckle. “Oh no. I don’t want that guy coming.”

  “Oh, he’s coming.” Brielle smirks, pushing past Theo to join Becks who’s already walking back to gather her things.

  Theo and I hang back and watch them walk away.

  “What the fuck is up with your sister, Mason?”

  “Hey, I don’t want to hear it. You’re the idiot who provoked her.”

  We meet the girls and Luca by the car, and after an hour of driving, we pull into the parking lot of Redd’s Bar. I watch as Theo gets out and heads inside. The look on his face does nothing to ease the knots I feel tightening within my stomach. Brielle has been quiet the whole way over, but now that we’re parked, she’s suddenly bouncing against the car door.

  Becks whispers something in her ear, while excitedly fluffing her hair.

  What the fuck?

  “Oh no! Brielle, no!” I spin around in my seat when I finally realize what they’re planning. “The plan was to wait in the car! I turn to Becks, pleading, “Becks . . . come on. Luca, help me out here!”

  “Come on, Mason. Live a little.” Becks smiles at me.Beside her, Brielle opens the door and hops out. Luca follows. They rush toward the bar’s front door, but I can’t bring myself to move. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, and silently yell, Fuck!

  Aside from all the shit I’m going to get from Theo about letting them go inside . . . aside from the fact that something is obviously going on between my sister and my best friend . . . there’s something else not right about this situation. I can feel it in the air; a change that has my nerves on edge. It’s less about where we are and more about who it is that sent us.

  “Let’s go, Mason!” I hear Becks call
from outside the car. She motions for me to join her, teasing me with those fucking golden eyes.

  I squeeze my own shut and try to ignore all the warning bells ringing inside my head.

  Fuck it! I open the door and get out.

  What’s the worst that can happen?

  Present

  chapter one

  BRIELLE

  Holy crap, Bree! This is it!" Becks says, taking a giddy step forward. She hands our ID’s to the bouncer, groaning to herself when she spots Luca waiting for us by the door. "Remind me again, why you let the goody-goody come?" she asks, her short, auburn curls brushing the top of her shoulders as the wind picks up.

  "Be nice," I tell her, hoping that for once she'll listen to me. Luca’s the only reason I did show up.

  Aside from the fact that this place is in the wrong part of town, everything about being here screams trouble. The old Denton cotton mill transformed into Haze, the shiny new nightclub all of campus is talking about.

  Forget the gangs I know that patrol every corner, and the mass hysteria that seems to go hand in hand with any college hot spot. They aren’t what has me on edge tonight. My father is. He would kill me if he knew I let Becks talk me into ditching my study group. Especially if he finds out where we are.

  Cops make the worst parents.

  Well, Detectives, in my case. You can never lie to them. So, on the off chance we are caught, Luca’s my get out of jail free card. My father loves him. He tolerates Becks.

  "You're all set," the bouncer interjects, finally feeling satisfied with our ID’s. He hands them back to Becks, then stamps each of our hands in bright blue ink. The word: “UNDERAGE” in bold. “You look like you're out to have some fun tonight. You sure you wouldn’t rather stay out here with me, beautiful?" he asks, his voice sounding as if someone took sandpaper to his vocal cords.

  He leans into where I'm standing and smiles, my nostrils instantly burning as the small barrier his gum held lifts and the smell of stale smoke quickly overwhelms the space around us. I tuck a strand of my dirty blonde hair back behind my ear and roll my eyes at the bouncer, who's a little too comfortable invading my personal space.