With You: With you, I am who I want to be.

by Jensen Kristyne

  "Do I need to repeat the question?" he asks, his tone clipped and annoyed.

  I feel my jaw drop as I take in a deep breath in an attempt to steady myself.

  No.

  It can’t be.

  "Theo? Y- You’re back?" I stumble my words as I attempt to answer him. Knots form in my stomach and twist in a way that make me feel sick.

  What the hell is he doing here?

  Staring up at him clinically, it’s easy to see why he’s so handsome, with his dark green eyes and brown, slightly tousled hair. The exact type of guy I often try to avoid. He’s too attractive for anything good to ever come out of dating a guy like him. The sort of guy who has more girls vying for his attention than he knows what to do with.

  With his chiseled face and muscular frame—apparent even under his black T-shirt and jeans. For whatever reason, whatever it is, I’m immediately rendered defenseless. The only thing I hate more than feeling this way is the look on his face as if I had somehow disappointed him with my answer.

  "It's good to see you, Brielle," he says. The corners of his lips pulling back into that devilish grin I’ve always loved. The memory of the last time I saw it is something I’m not ready to relive just yet.

  I close my eyes, hearing the crowd around us take a collective breath and hold it as he steps in my direction. Should I be afraid like they all seem to be? The thought is there and gone before I have the chance to really think about it. I open my eyes.

  "Why didn’t you . . . you didn’t reach out?"

  It could have been the lights, or my imagination, but the second I finish, I swear its shock that crosses his face. Although as quickly as it appears, it’s gone, leaving me to wonder if I’d imagined the whole thing.

  "Didn’t know I needed to," he says. His eyes linger for a moment longer before shifting to a figure standing a few feet beside me. “Devon, do I need to repeat myself?”

  Devon?

  I turn to the girl with the raven hair.

  "Wait. You're asking me? This little tramp bumps into me, and you have the audacity to ask me if there is an issue? Me, Theo?"

  Theo looks unfazed as he mutters a quick, “Yes."

  Devon’s body stills then in a terrifying way. The array of emotions that flash across her face are hard to keep up with. But, eventually, she collects herself. "I . . . apologize." Her tone is rigid. Each word laced with venom.

  "Thank you. And like I said, I’m—"

  "Great. Now that that’s settled, leave," Theo interjects, his voice claiming the space and stopping me from finishing what I was about to say. "I’ll cover the cab fare, but you can’t stay here. I told you, I won’t put up with you when you’re like this," he finishes, his words dripping authority as he stares Devon down.

  Rather than acknowledging his demands with a response, Devon simply turns and disappears into the crowd. Each step in the opposite direction sends a wave of shock, which penetrates the crowd and causes it to quickly disperse.

  What the hell is that all about?

  I’ve never known Theo to be so rude?

  He made his point; he didn't have to keep embarrassing her in front of everyone.

  "Brielle," Theo calls my name, the noticeable shift in his tone makes my head feel dizzy. “Hello?”

  He edges closer when I don’t answer him and moves until he’s standing directly in front of me. I inhale a deep breath, cursing my own body as I feel my skin prickle at the nearness of him. He smells exactly as I remember—of mint and newly upholstered leather.

  He scratches his stubble, and I swear he’s covering a grin when he says, “Stunned silent. Now that’s a side of Brielle I never thought I’d se—”

  "You didn’t have to do that. It wasn't even her fault, and she apologized," I say the words aloud before I realize I’ve said anything at all. "If anyone should be forced to leave, it's me."

  "What’s that? You want to know how I’ve been? Yeah, no, I’ve been great! Thanks for asking,” Theo says. The cocky grin he’s wearing, almost completely gone as he moves to step around me.

  "What?" I hear the rise in my own voice, feeling as annoyed as he seems to be, but I can’t stop. I follow him. “That’s not what I asked, Theo!”

  "Well, that’s the only answer you’re going to get. You have no clue what you’re talking about." He whips around to face me, his tone is as cold as ice.

  He takes a step closer. His shoulders are even with my eyes. I can't help but feel like he's testing me in some way. Pushing me to see where my boundaries lie after all this time. Is he trying to dominate me? The question is there and gone before I have the chance to fully acknowledge it.

  "Look, I don’t know who you’re here with. But, for your own good, it’s probably best that you find them and leave. This isn’t a playground for kids, and I don’t have time to babysit.”

  Hearing his words, I blush and numbly take a step back. His eyes bore into me with an intensity I'm unable to place. Curiosity? Amusement? Desire? My mind freezes then, tasting how ridiculous I sound. Desire? I shake my head at the thought. I must have forgotten who I was talking to. This is Theo after all. The guy who's always been too busy being everyone else’s number one man, to ever stop and see what he has in front of him. Add in this new bad-boy persona he’s adopted, and it’s like I don’t even recognize who he is anymore.

  "I'm sorry. Who are you?" I manage to say.

  The muscles along his chest flex as he inhales a deep breath. He's struggling with himself, and whatever it’s about, it’s winning. "Someone you should stay away from.” He shifts his eyes. “You’re not the only one whose changed, Brielle. But you’re definitely too good to be hanging around here.”

  Glancing around, people have started to pick up on our history and are nosily circling us. Their questioning stares, and lingering curiosity, practically solidify every concern that tells me I should turn around and run. Fast. That this rude guy is not the same polo wearing, video game playing boy I knew growing up.

  "Theo," I plead with him. But for what, I don't know.

  I watch as he shakes his head. His hazel eyes peel off toward something in the distance, and I drop the hand I hadn't realized I was holding out to him.

  “I can't," he says. The internal battle he seems to be waging drives him further away from me. His expression turns cold and distant. "You should go."

  "Bree! There you are!" Luca's yells.

  The wave of relief I feel, washes over me as I turn and find those soft blue eyes. "We were just looking for you. Becks is having a moment and—" Luca freezes midstep. His eyes shift up to the apparent stranger standing next to me, and if even possible, the air thickens to a more uncomfortable state. His gaze sweeps between Theo and me, and with a look of disgust, he mutters, "What the hell are you doing here?"

  "Wait. You’re here with Luca?" Theo half laughs. His smile only mildly amused. The laugh itself is deep and would be attractive were he not using it to taunt Luca. He turns to face him. “Damn, and I thought my night couldn’t get any worse.”

  Wait?

  Did he say worse?

  Luca narrows his eyes at Theo as he reaches out to pull me to his side. Theo tenses at the action, but thankfully he doesn’t react.

  "Thought you left town? If you cared at all, you’d do us all a favor and leave again."

  “Luca!”

  "Wow. Is that a threat, Garrett?" Theo says. His voice tight as each word is used to challenge Luca in a way that makes me increasingly uneasy. I see his hands curl into fists as he lifts his chest and takes a step in Luca’s direction, the rich green of his hazel eyes darkening.

  "You know exactly what it is, Wescott."

  “Whoa. Okay. Enough.” I push my way in between them. “Why don’t you both just take a step back?”

  I can feel the danger of the situation growing as I try to understand where it’s coming from in the first place. When Theo left, we were all fine. What changed? I look down and notice Theo’s hands, and the slight bruising scattered
along his knuckles. What the hell? Someone you should stay away from, his warning echoes inside my mind. But as much as it probably should, it doesn’t scare me. Theo may have changed, but I don’t think for a second that he would ever hurt me.

  I watch him smile as if he read my thoughts. But the smile is tight and doesn't reach his eyes. He looks to Luca, then back to me. "Fucking course," he says as a form of recognition slides across his face. "You two now, huh? Mason always said it would happen." He takes in an exaggerated breath. His eyes are still dark, but his expression is beginning to lighten.

  Wait. What?

  Hearing Mason’s name, Luca places a hand along my lower back, and I fight the urge to remove it. It’s been a while since anyone’s been brave enough to openly mentioned my brother in front of me. Not because I didn't want them to, but because of what happened the night he died, and everything that’s happened since.

  "How dare you," Luca snaps. His words are rushed.

  I wrinkle my brow up at him in hopes of ending whatever argument they’re choosing to hash out in the middle of the club, but he ignores me or simply doesn’t see.

  "I see someone grew up and decided to finally grow some balls," Theo says without an ounce of humor. "I've already kicked your ass once, Garrett. Don't make me do it again in front of her."

  "Okay, enough!" I yell when I catch them start to move again. I raise my hands and press a palm against each of their chests.

  “It’s not me you should be worried about,” Luca says, while taking a step back. “It’s him you have to watch yourself around. You haven’t changed at all, have you Theo?”

  I can tell by the rapid rise and fall of Theo’s chest that his temper won’t be so easily satiated. I turn to face him and look at my hand, noting how his chest is rock hard against my palm. I try not to let my mind run away with me as I think about what his chest might look like without his shirt on.

  Is it covered in tattoos, too?

  A couple of seconds pass before I recognize that Theo’s breathing has slowed, and he's watching me. I lift my head and our eyes meet, and immediately he reacts to it; the color of his eyes lighten to a pale green. He raises his hand as if to cover mine, and it's then, in that moment—that lasts no longer than a second—that I can finally see the tiny resemblance of the old Theo. The sweet one, who would stay up late just to make sure that I made it home okay, and the one who was always so playful and fun. But in the blink of an eye, it vanishes. The hard-pressed, bad-tempered version of him seizes control.

  I drop my hand.

  "I . . . I need to find Becks.”

  chapter four

  BRIELLE

  We arrive back at the massive couch and find Becks and Penny blissfully distracted. "This is Mark, Liam, and Graham," Becks exclaims, pointing to each guy separately as she says their name.

  I watch them squirm uncomfortably in their chairs as I sit down next to Luca. The one wearing our schools University of North Texas fraternity jacket kinks his brow in my direction.

  "Yes, they were nice enough to keep us company." Penny’s nose crinkles over the rim of her drink. “You know, since Luca had to go looking for you, and my brother decided to take his turn on the campus bicycle.”

  I cut my eyes to the dance floor, when I notice Ethan and Hallie are in fact missing. Then turn back and flash the guys a meek smile, choosing to ignore Penny’s blatant attempt at getting a rise out of me, when a petite waitress turns her attention toward our group. Her arms precariously holding a tray of drinks.

  "Hey, y’all!" she greets us. Her heavy twang and wrist tattoo that reads “Made in Texas” makes me smile. She splits the tray between the two cube tables, cautiously making sure to set each drink as close to the center as possible. "I hope you’re thirsty. Mr. Wescott asked me to send these over to you guys."

  “Wesc—wait. Wescott?” Becks shifts her weight and slides to the edge of her seat.

  Without question, I take a drink from the table in front of me. The pink-and-orange one that smells tropical, a nice reprieve from all the blue, and raise it to my lips. The fruity concoction tastes delicious on my tongue as I gulp down almost half the glass. I don’t even try to hide the massive stamp on my hand that’s meant to indicate that I’m not twenty-one. Twenty is close enough—at least, it is tonight.

  "Um, thanks," Becks mutters to the girl, narrowing her eyes as she shoots me a look of concern. I can tell that she wants to ask me what the hell she must have missed, but, thankfully, she lets it go. For now, which is good since I’m not even sure what I think myself at the moment—only that, my stress levels have officially peaked.

  The waitress nods her head, then walks off when I hear Becks gasp. Her hand darts under the table to take hold of mine as she leans into my side. I turn my eyes in the direction that she’s staring in and find a tall guy, with a muscular frame and broad shoulders standing next to our table. His tangled mess of blond hair hangs down, covering most of his face as he works to smooth it back.

  "And you’ll tell your father how much we appreciate him stopping by," he tells the couple he’s with. We can’t see their faces, but by the way this guy is talking to them, they have to be important.

  Beck’s jaw practically drops to the floor the longer she watches him, and it takes all I have not to burst out laughing. I think she’s found her new plaything. When I hear the name Russo, I lean in further trying to get look, when I notice the other guy he’s standing beside. Theo. And he’s not alone.

  Adorned with a tall, gorgeous woman tucked under his arm, I try not to let it bother me but it does.

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  As if just noticing him, Becks twists to the side. The knots in my stomach twist to an uncomfortable state.

  "Can you believe that asshole?" Luca groans, then adjusts himself so that his arm now drapes behind me.

  "Hold on. So you do know Wesley?" Penny chuckles from her seat. The three guys she’d been entertaining suddenly appear to look awkward without her constant attention. When we don’t answer her, she motions with the hand that’s carefully holding her drink back at the guy with the blond hair.

  “No, but if he’s anything like the guy standing next to him, I’m good,” Luca says automatically.

  I lick my lips and taste remnants of my cocktail. I take another sip, purposefully ignoring the guilty feeling that’s building in the pit of my stomach. It’s clear I need to talk to Luca about what happened between Theo and him, but seeing the way he’s reacting, I’m not sure if tonight is the right time to do it.

  "Wait, hold on! Theo? How the hell do you know him?" Penny asks as I watch her eyes grow to the size of large grapes, while she shoves her drink at one of the guys. It spills on his lap but she could care less.

  “Of course we know him.” Becks rolls her eyes in the typical Becks sort of way. She reaches for her own drink, pinched between her legs, and takes a small sip. As if feeding off Penny’s curiosity, she continues, “The man basically lived with Brielle for a whole year after his mother died. He’s like the big brother we never wanted. Or at least he was. . . before Mason. . .”

  I cut my eyes to the floor, when I feel everyone looking at me.

  “What? Before what?” Penny nudges Becks to continue.

  I inhale in a quick breath and tuck my hands tightly in my lap. The sequin material of Becks’ skirt digs into my skin. “She was going to say before my brother died. Five years ago. His name was Mason.”

  Looking up at Penny I ready myself for whatever she’s about to say. She doesn’t exactly strike me as the sympathetic type.

  "Oh. My. God. This is fucking awesome!" Penny laughs. She looks over her shoulder and eyes Theo, who’s momentarily watching us. “Oh Ethan is going to be so pissed when he hears what he missed!”

  “When he hears what? That we know him?” Luca chimes in beside me. His tone sounding as if he was readying himself to come to my defense.

  “Well, yes! But mostly that she does,” Penny says, then glances bac
k at Theo again. "And . . . from the looks of it, that it definitely seems like someone’s down for some major reminiscing,” she says. A smug smile slowly spreads across her mouth. Her tawny eyes slide back to look at me. “He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you. Apparently, you are his type.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Becks is quick to come to my defense.

  “God, chill out, would ya? All I’m saying is that—”

  “No, seriously—” Luca jolts upward—“just drop it. Brielle would never go for him.”

  Penny’s smug smile fades as she takes her drink back. It’s clear that she doesn’t agree. But she’s thankfully taken the hint. Flexing his arm, Luca pulls me into his chest.

  "I think I’m going to need another drink," he whispers into my hair.

  I wrinkle my nose and shoot him a warning glance. Unlike Becks and me, who only managed to get drinks becauseTheo had them sent over, Luca is twenty-one. “I thought you weren’t drinking tonight?” I tease him. He doesn’t answer me, but rather sits there, silently appraising my every move. I feel my cheeks begin to heat in an uncomfortable way. “What?”

  "Nothing. Just thinking." His tone is so natural and light, that I almost believe him. But knowing Luca, I know it’s so much more than that. I turn forward and shuffle my feet while I think of what to say. I can feel Becks glaring at me.

  This is it. This is your chance, I silently tell myself. It’s the chance to tell him the truth about how I really feel. But the only word my mouth can form is "Oh."

  All right. “I’ll be back. I’m going to run and grab a beer. I’m not much of a cocktail kind of guy.” Luca stands up from the couch. He works his way around the far side, leaning back at the last second to shout, “You want anything?”

  I shake my head and he disappears. I know I’m being a coward, but I keep my eyes glued to the floor. I don’t dare look at Becks for fear of what she might say. I know whatever lecture she’s got in store for me, she’ll be right. What I’m doing with Luca is selfish and unfair but I’m scared. If I tell him the truth about how I feel, he may leave, and I don’t know if I’m ready to take that chance. I don’t know if I’m ready to lose another person I care about.