Ass?
Did Brielle Sutton just call me an ass?
"It's not as if I didn't want to," I say harshly, because I did want to say something many times, but how could I? What right did I have to ask that of her before, when we couldn't even be together? "You also never fucked that Theo."
I watch her mouth drop as she staggers back a few steps, her feet tripping over those outrageously high heels. Her back hits against the side of her car.
"Wow. No. You're right." She shakes her head. Her fingers are fumbling with her keys. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore." She steps to the side and opens her car door. "I'm sorry; this was a mistake. Goodnight, Theo."
What? "No. Brielle, stop." I reach out and shut her door. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean? God, just tell me what you want!"
"I've told you what I want. I want you! But I can't be with you, and watch you be with Luca too."
"I don't want Luca. I want you!"
"No." I shake my head. "What you want is the best of both worlds. And it doesn't work like that."
She takes a step toward me and takes hold of my hand. "Oh my God. Luca is just a friend!"
I squint at her, not sure who the fuck she's trying to convince, but I'm not buying it.
"What are you doing here, Brielle?" I cut my eyes behind her. The blue, flashing light of my truck's security system, catches my attention. "Where's is Luca, anyway? I thought y’all had plans?"
"I canceled them."
"You canceled them?"
"Yes. Last night, after I found out you were at the house. I was on my way to see you, but you had come and gone."
"And hedgehog from the bar?"
"Blake? He was there on his own. He just came over to say hi."
Fucking hell.
"Hey." Brielle pulls my face down so that I'm looking at her. I'm fucking fuming, and I know she can see it. "Come back to me."
I step out of her hold, my eyes falling to trail the length of her body, openly.
"To answer your question, I . . . I came here to find you." She picks at her nails. "I didn't expect to find you fighting though. I thought you didn’t start until later. I was trying to catch you before. You look like hell."
Not even close. Hell was when my father had too much to drink, came home and beat the absolute shit out of me until he passed out. This was just another asshole at K.O.
"I’m fine. I didn’t let him land anything too bad."
“Wait. What? You let him hit you?” she asks, crinkling her nose in that cute way of hers, which makes me want to bend down and kiss the wrinkles away.
“Of course I did. I don’t get hit unless I choose to.”
She slaps my arm. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you want to be hit?”
“You don’t want me to answer that.” I shake my head. She backs away, slowly, and her back hits the car again. “You scared yet?”
"No. But I wish you wouldn't fight at all."
I groan and push a hand through my hair, my fingers working the sore muscles along the back of my neck. We’ve been over this. “Can’t do that, babe. I told you.”
“Right. So. Care to elaborate on what just happened?”
“What? The fight?”
"You do realize that you just called me your girlfriend, right?" she challenges.
I close my eyes. "Space between the words." I decide to use her own words against her. A playful smile spreads along my lips.
"Touché." She drops her eyes to her hands. "Listen, I can't cut Luca out of my life—not completely. Eventually, I hope you’ll come to understand that. But you were right, I can't keep pretending that everything is fine. So I choose you. "
Wait. What?
“Explain that sentence.”
"The truth is I don't want you to ever feel like I am choosing Luca over you. Because to me, there is no comparison. I love you. Only you."
Oh.
"Brielle." I pause thinking about what it would mean if we were to continue whatever the fuck it is we've been doing. And what it is I could be risking if my father decides to come after me. . . us. "It's not that easy. There’s a lot you don’t kn—"
"But it is that easy." She smiles, looking up at me. "Do you love me?"
I groan. My mind is racing with all the things we still need to talk about. "Yes, but—"
She raises a finger to my lips. "Theo, please, don’t make me beg."
I sigh. The knots in my shoulders twisting. "Of course not. Never." I roll my eyes and kiss her forehead.
I’m so fucked.
I feel her flinch when I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer toward me. "You make me crazy," I tell her. “You know that?”
"At least I'm not stinky."
"Stinky?" I laugh and let her go. "You mean you don't want to jump my bones from all this manliness?"
"Nope. Sorry."
There's that new, feisty attitude, I love.
"Well then. what do you say we get out of here?"
"And get you a shower?"
"Only if you join me."
I smile, hearing her laugh. Then I bend down and press my lips to hers. After what feels like the longest kiss, we run back inside so I can grab my shit from the locker room. It's then that my mind cycles back to something she said. "So . . . um . . . quick question. How pissed was Luca?"
She shakes her head. "What do you mean?"
"You know, when you told him you’re choosing me?"
"Oh, my God. Theo!" She playfully swats at my arm, but I catch it and wrap it around her waist. "You're the worst."
"True, but I'm better with you."
chapter thirty-eight
BRIELLE
We pull out onto the dark road, leaving my car with Mack, and head toward Theo’s house. His castle is out in the middle of nowhere. For the most part, I keep my attention outside toward my window, as we pass through endless nothingness, until I feel Theo reach out with his hand and squeeze between my legs. His fingers are so close to a certain area, it makes me tremble.
"I don't know what the hell it is about you in these pants, but fuck. . . it's doing something to me," he says in that raspy voice I love.
I swat at him playfully, tilting my head to the side and laughing. I stare up at the cut along the side of his face and run my finger under it. "Does it hurt?"
He cocks his head sideways and gives me a smug grin. "I'll live."
I nod and pull out my phone to text Becks, but Theo snatches it and pulls at my leg. The force of it carries me across the seat. His fingers trace the seam of my pants that runs along the inside, and he follows it higher up my leg.
"Umm, what are you doing?" I smile, shyly. But deep down, I already know.
He shrugs, slowly tugging at the button on my waistband as I feel it release. His fingers begin teasing the skin just over my thong before he hooks it and pulls it to the side. "I've been waiting to do this all week." He slides a finger deep inside of me, then adds another. "Want to bet on how many times I can make you come tonight?"
I reach for the door and clutch it hard. I can feel my fingers dig into the leather as the pressure in my stomach starts to build. Holy crap. I hear myself suck in a sharp breath. God, I love hearing his dirty talk.
"I want to see how long it takes before you can't handle anymore.” His voice is thick with an emotion I can’t place.
He pushes his thumb into my wetness and then presses it over my sensitive area. The tiny circular motions move at just the right speed, which keeps me on edge without pushing me over. I wrap my fingers around his bicep and rock into his hands.
“Two can play this game,” I say in between breaths.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes."
Before I can think too much about what I'm doing, I twist onto my knees and lean over the console. My fingers make quick work of his zipper as he lifts his hips for me to work his pants down his thighs a little. His erection tents his boxers, but I pull them down too
. I focus on the tiny sounds slipping from his lips as I work my hand over the length of him. He sucks in a quick breath, and I wish we were already back at his house so I could do more.
"Fuck, babe," I hear him growl. "You're too good at this."
I look up and feel my stomach clench when I can see he's fighting with himself—fighting with whether or not he should end this or let me continue. To watch the road or give in to the moment. I feel the road catch under the tires when I look up and see him throw the truck into park. The front of his house looms in the distance.
Before I have time to register what's happening, he's already out of the truck and at my door. His pants and boxers hug his hips and are hanging open. His deep V catches my attention as he pulls the door open and shoves his hands under my ass.
His grip is rough and forceful as he wraps my legs around his torso. I feel his erection rub against my core, and without a thought, I press against it. "Fuck, you're killing me, babe," he groans. He shifts his weight and holds me with one arm. His free hand moves further under my bottom as he pushes two fingers inside of me and begins to thrust in and out.
I rock my head back and moan. My mind suddenly appreciates Theo's need for privacy more than ever. This would definitely turn heads at the monthly HOA meeting had Theo chosen to live in a normal neighborhood. "Theo," I call his name.
"Just hold on, babe. We're almost inside."
I can hear him fumbling with the keys, so I decide to mess with him more—my own form of payback for what he did with me at the restaurant the other night. I kiss him just under his ear and run my tongue along his jaw. "Hurry," I whisper, slipping my hand down between us, like a contortionist, and gripping him. My hand moves up and down in time with his fingers as I kiss the corner of his mouth. "I want—"
"If you finish that sentence, so help me, I'll fuck you on this door."
I stifle a laugh and decide to kiss him instead. "Maybe I'd let you." I bite his lip.
I hear the keys hit the floor seconds before Theo has my back pressed up against the door. The force of it all surprises me but it isn't painful. In fact, I like it. He withdraws his fingers and quickly finds my breasts. His thumb expertly rubs my nipple, making it harden under his touch.
"Are you on the pill?" I faintly hear him mutter in my ear. I suck in a sharp breath as he gently pinches my nipple. "Answer me, Brielle."
"No."
He swirls his thumb around my nipple and pinches it again. How the hell does this feel so good?
"I could make you come this way." He pulls back to look at me. But I shake my head.
I know exactly what I want, and to further show him, I roll my hips forward and position myself over the top of his erection. I can feel the tip pressed against me. The feeling of him being so close has my heart racing.
“No more overthinking things tonight. I need this. I want this.” I push down on the tip. The instant fullness I feel as I roll my hips up and down the length of him has me calling out his name. Theo sucks in a sharp breath.
"Damn, you're not playing fair."
I lean my head to rest against his chest and feel the deep rise and fall of his breaths. "Do you want me to stop?" I whine at the thought.
"Fuck no." He drops his hand from my breast and grips my waist. The force of it causes me to lean back against the door. My back is arched as Theo begins to thrust inside of me.
At first, he starts out slow, gradually increasing the speed by the minute. Pretty soon, we're both panting when I hear the slight rip of a condom. Theo lifts me high, too high, and I whimper at the loss of him. I was so close. Why did he have to stop?
My mind is only just beginning to let myself question where the condom came from, or how he had managed to finagle it out while slamming into me. When he lowers me back down, each thrust pushes the questions further from my mind.
"Shit, you're so tight." He presses his face into my neck, biting and sucking his way to my lips. "Come for me, baby," He thrusts faster than before.
The feeling of the entire length of him sliding in and out of me pushes me over the edge. My hips buck up, but he holds me down, and I moan his name, threading my fingers in the back of his hair and tugging on it. This is by far my strongest orgasm yet.
"I am so close, " he mumbles against my lips. His words sounding like they’re miles away. It doesn't take long though before he joins me. And when he’s finished, he rests his head against my chest, my arms wrapping around his neck, lazily. "Well, that was a first." He pulls back and smiles at me. "I've never been unable to make it inside the door."
"You're terrible."
"Oh, I'm terrible?" He arches a brow. "You're the one who decided to throw caution to the wind." He chuckles and brushes his lips against mine. "It's fine. I put the condom on before things got too far. But you need to get on the pill. It feels too damn good without the condom, and I want to feel all of you when I fuck you."
I swallow my gasp and feel my eyes grow wide.
Holy crap, that was hot.
He hesitates a second longer before lifting me and setting me down. My feet brush the ground before I my brain kicks back into gear again. Oh my . . . his staff! "Is . . . is anyone here? Do you think they saw us?"
"No, they have the weekend off." He smiles, removing the condom. “Which is good because there’s still a lot I want to do to you.”
chapter thirty-nine
BRIELLE
I fall out of the shower and clumsily make my way over to the sink. My eyes find the equally spent Theo working to rinse the remaining shampoo from his hair. “I told you to stop biting that damn lip.” He chuckles, breathless. The water from the showerhead casts down over his handsome features. How the water is still hot is beyond me. It felt like we were in there for hours.
“Make me.”
Our eyes meet through the reflection in the mirror, and for a split second, I wonder if he isn’t going to reach out and pull me back in. But thankfully, he hits the water off and starts to dry off. He steps out, and walks up behind me. Reaching his hand out, he runs it down my arm and back up again. His fingers delicately skim the pink marks along the base of my neck, the top of my breasts, and in other not so obvious places. A rather pleased grin pulls along his lips.
"I'd ask you to think of whatever kind of food it is that you'd want to eat right now, but Travis isn’t here to make it." Theo bends down to kiss my shoulder. "So how does mac ‘n’ cheese sound?"
I spin around to face him and rise up on my tiptoes, placing a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. "That sounds perfect." My eyes catch the cut lining the top of his cheek. I notice how irritated it is. "This looks bad. Maybe you should call Wil—"
"If I say yes, will you move in with me?" he answers coolly. Using two fingers he tilts my head to the side while bending down to place a series of kisses along my jaw.
I push past him and into the room, motioning to his already forming bruises and the miscellaneous cuts he has all over him. "If I say yes, would you give up fighting? For good?"
“No.”
“Then, no.” I shrug into one of his shirts. The smell of his cologne and detergent is calming. “I hate seeing you hurt.”
"All the more reason you should move in then. With you here, I’ll be too preoccupied to even think about fighting.”
He wraps the towel around his waist and walks into the room. I lift my eyes toward his crotch and lick my lips. Maybe I should move in if it means getting to see him like this everyday.
I shake my head to clear it. "I can't move in with you, Theo."
"Yes, you can." He lazily rakes his eyes up and down my body. Oh no, I think to myself, watching him slowly step toward me. "Let me persuade you."
"No. No, I can't." I back away from him. But it's no use. In one swift motion, he grabs me and throws me down on the bed. "Theo!" I cry out when my own body betrays me, and I hear myself giggling like a schoolgirl. He maneuvers his way on top of me, his fingers tugging at my towel. "What about the mac ‘n’ cheese?"
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"What about it?"
An hour later, Theo asks me if I’m okay, as he leans over the back of the couch and hands me a small white bowl. The plain white shirt he's wearing rises up to reveal the tanned skin of his stomach. "Babe?"
"Huh?"
"I asked if you're okay. You seem pale."
"Yes, sorry," I whisper.
A little while ago, Theo filled me in on some of the details from yesterday—the meeting with his dad, the proposed marriage, and more. My fears of his father's criminal connections were finally realized.
I lift my eyes to meet his. "So, your father is a mobster?"
"Mobster?" He laughs. "That might be a bit of a stretch." He rocks his head from side to side, coming around to sit beside.
It’s not like I honestly care about the proper term. Out of everything he’s just told me, there’s so much more that needs to be explained than that.
"I would say he's a self-made man with underground criminal connections."
I tilt my head. "So, a mobster."
"Sure,” he continues. I watch the tiny muscles of his jaw clench as he eyes his bowl. He sets it down on the table in front of us and turns to face me. “I’ll understand if you want to walk away. This is a lot more than most people can handle. But if not, if we choose to do this, then you need to know . . . I can't be gentle about what has to be done. Underestimating my father would be a grave mistake. For both of us."
"What does that even mean?" I freeze mid-bite.
"It means that I might have to do things that you're not going to like. Things that are necessary in order to keep you safe."
"Things? What things?" My eyes are burning, but not because I'm concerned for myself. But for him. I can see how much this is affecting him.
"Brielle . . ." He lets his words trail off. "Trust me, it's better if you don't know."
"But isn't that the point?" I shake my head. "For us to be honest with each other? You can lie to whoever you need to, but not to me. Not if this is going to work."
With You: With you, I am who I want to be. Page 29