With You: With you, I am who I want to be.

  "It may not be that simple." He drops his head.

  The two of us sit in a weighted silence as Theo's words hang between us. I lift my hand in an attempt to reach out to him, but catch myself crossing my arms in front of me instead.

  "I wish I were stronger so that I could have walked away before things got too far between us," he says. His voice is eerily calm.

  "Don’t say that."

  "Brielle, seriously. Think about it. I'm bad for you."

  "I don't care."

  "You will if it ends up getting you killed."

  "He can’t hurt me." I try to reassure him, but I can see his resolve starting to wear thin. “I could tell my father, and we—"

  He reaches down with his hand, and with two fingers under my chin, he lifts my face up to his. His minty breath is warm on my lips, right where I want his mouth to be, as he says, "Do you really want to do this? Be with me, I mean?”

  I nod, drawing closer to him. “I do.”

  The words barely leave my mouth before he crashes his lips to mine. His hands settling on either side of my face, and his arms cage me against the couch.

  He pulls away, and for a moment, we stare at each other. With our hearts racing, I can feel his energy shift. The air thickens once again. "I'm not the hero here," he whispers. His voice is laden with some unidentifiable emotion. "I've done too many bad things already that can't be forgiven. But I'll do anything to keep you safe.

  I see something flicker in his eyes, challenging me to deny what he’s just said. His expression is relaxed, but I can tell that he's hurting. I know he still carries some guilt because of Mason, and because he believes that he can't be who I need him to be. But that couldn't be further from the truth. How can he not see that he is everything to me?

  I lift my hand and cup his face. My thumb brushes his bottom lip as I stare into those brilliant hazel eyes. "I don't need a hero, Theo. I just need you."

  He kisses me then, his mouth closing down on mine. Each kiss is hot and hard as if he's waiting for me to pull away. But I never will. No matter what happens, I'm amazingly unafraid and willing to give him whatever he wants—needs—to prove to him that he deserves to be happy. And that he deserves to be happy . . . with me.

  Waking up the next morning, Theo slides his hand under my head and wraps his arm around the back of my neck, dragging my mouth to his. His tongue teases the far corners of my mouth as he pulls my chest to his with one arm. "Say it." He smiles. His teeth capture my bottom lip as he bites it. "Say you'll go with me?"

  "I don't know." I push away from him, but he's got me trapped within his viselike grip. My legs wrap the outside of his as he groans into my neck. "Do you really think it's smart to go to the ball and flaunt our relationship in your father's face? After everything?"

  "I don't give a fuck about my father."

  His tone surprises me.

  "All I care about is you, and I know you want to go. Besides, my father may be a man with connections, but he'd never be bold enough to try anything out in the open, especially not in front of Mr. Overshire."

  "Right. Katrina's father." Because Katrina’s going to be there.

  I drag out the words. Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in his shoulder. The sweet smell of the laundry detergent that was used on his shirt wafts me in the face. Dang. Whatever Eliza uses, I need it.

  Gently, he pushes my shoulders back until I'm looking at him. "Are you jealous? Of Katrina?" His tone isn't accusing or harsh, but genuinely curious.

  "No." I roll my eyes and get up off the bed. My feet carry me towards the bedroom door faster than I can imagine. "Maybe. I don't know. The girl is beautiful," I say over my shoulder as I reach my room.

  Whipping around, I bump into his chest. I gasp as he twists me around to face the bed, his hips leveraging my backside from behind. The hard length of his erection presses against my lower back.

  "Trust me, babe. You have nothing to worry about," he whispers in my ear. His breath teases my neck as he lifts me and tosses me onto the bed. The color of his eyes darken while his gaze settles between my legs. "You’re the one who is beautiful, and I fully intend on showing you exactly how I feel about you."

  "Again?" I giggle, feeling the slight puckering of my nipples. The muscles in my stomach begin clenching at the thought. This man is insatiable. I swear. But I’m surprised by the way I'm suddenly aching for the touch that he's holding back.

  “I wish—” he smiles brightly, pushing off the bed and walking into his closet—“no, I have a surprise for you. Get dressed, we’ve got somewhere to be.”

  chapter forty

  BRIELLE

  Where are we?" I ask when Theo pulls to a stop outside of a dress shop. He gets out to come around as I scan the store's windows, finding them filled with bridal gowns—each one, bigger than the next. "Um, is there something you want to tell me?" I half laugh as he reaches my door.

  "What?" He looks at me questioningly until he turns to see what I'm staring at. "Oh, no." He laughs, his voice full of that playful tone I love. His handsome face brings a smile to my lips. "We're here to buy you a dress for the ball."

  "But this is a bridal shop. And it’s Sunday."

  Theo ignores me and takes my hand. When he opens the door to the shop, two women are inside waiting for us. One is holding flutes filled with champagne, and the other is clutching a measuring tape, clipboard, and a handful of fabric swatches to her chest.

  "Is this her? Is this the girl?" They ask simultaneously—although one is a little more excited than the other.

  I tilt my head, eyeing the two women standing in front of us. Both are beautiful with annoyingly perfect bodies. Slender but curvy. Young but still mature looking. They walk us over to a small area in the center of the building. Pink-and-cream barrel back chairs and couches, adorned with gold studs and matching pillows, form a circle. I take a seat and am immediately handed a drink by the one named Raven—according to her name tag—before she wanders off to help her partner, who appears to be a bit mopey. I still haven't had the opportunity to figure out her name yet.

  Raven is beautiful, with long, silky black hair that runs down her back and caramel-colored skin. She bounces around the room with enthusiasm that’s unmatched by the other girl. I turn to Theo, who’s staring at his phone. The corners of his lips are turned down as he scrolls the screen, like a man on a mission.

  "Excuse me for a moment." He stands, leaning over to kiss my forehead, before turning and walking toward the exit.

  "Wait, don't . . ." I reach out to pull him back to me but he's already gone.

  I turn back around when I hear someone approaching, and find the tall blonde, who reminds me of an older, more sophisticated Katrina standing in front of me. "Stand up, please." She smiles. My eyes slide down to her name tag, and I see “Cameron” on the gold plate just above the words “Store Manager.” I stand up as she snatches my arm, walking me to the small, white platform positioned in the center of the room. "Let's get your measurements done and you in a dress before your boyfriend returns." Her tone is mocking.

  "I can do it!" Raven calls. Her bubbly attitude sets me at ease as she steps up to the platform.

  "Okay." Cameron relinquishes the measuring tape. "I'll go pull some options. She may be a hard one to fit."

  Excuse me?

  I feel my eyes grow wide.

  Cameron slinks off, out of sight, while Raven hurries, double-checking each measurement before jotting them down on the clipboard. "Don't mind Cameron." She rolls her eyes. Then tucks the sides of her hair back behind her ears so that they don't fall in her face, as she bends down to measure my waist. "She's just salty you snagged her dream man." Dream man? I whip my head to the side and lift my arms for Raven to measure my chest. What the hell?

  “They know each other?” I decide to ask, hoping my face doesn't give away all the questions running through my mind.

  "Oh, yeah." Raven’s heels click off the platform as she finishes and moves to a clothing rack
, where three dresses hang.

  Her fingers skim the first two, then stop when she reaches the third. She pauses, but her eyes are fixed on something in the distance. Turning back to glance at me one last time, she turns and slowly disappears down the hall.

  "She apparently dated him back in college!" She yells from somewhere off in the distance. "But he told her he wasn't the dating kind. So they just messed around for a bit until he left her."

  I feel my cheeks flare, wondering how long the “until” period actually lasted, while they were simply “messing around.” The amount of control it’s taking for me not to turn around and walk out the door is draining. Did it end the day before we bumped into each other? Had it been a year since they slept together? A month? Longer? Was he with her while he was with Katrina?

  I pinch my eyes shut and try to focus on anything other than the fact that Theo brought me to his ex's—or whatever you'd call her—place of work to buy the gown he wants me to wear at the ball we’re going to together. "Oh my Lord." I whisper, quietly. I’m going to kill him.

  "What?" Raven asks. Her bright red lips catch my eyes as she rounds the corner. A heavy, long garment bag is draped over her arms.

  "Nothing.”

  I watch her walk over to the mirrored wall where a lone garment hook sits, fashioned to blend into the mirror seamlessly. She hooks the bag and slowly unzips it, revealing a beautiful floor-length, champagne-colored dress.

  "Oh my God." I step down, mindlessly walking toward her, with my mouth agape. "It's beautiful."

  "Hell yeah, it is," she says, obviously proud of herself. Her bubbly demeanor, and almost too honest attitude, reminds me of Becks. Only, Becks wouldn't have such a gentle approach. She'd just toss it at me and tell me to put it on, or else.

  "It's a clear crystal encrusted, spaghetti-strapped chiffon with a plunging neckline and modest train that would totally accentuate your waist perfectly," Raven says.

  All I can think is, "Wow." I breathe deeply and bite my lip.

  I take another step forward and run my hand down the dress, my fingers tangling with the price tag the moment I reach the banded waist. I twist it around and suddenly feel sick. "Oh wow," I repeat when I see the fifteen-hundred-dollar price stamped in bright red ink. "I could never afford this."

  Raven flashes me a small smile, unhooks the dress, and gently leads me by my shoulders to one of the empty dressing rooms. "Why don't you just try it on and think about it." She giggles while giving me a gentle nudge inside. "Then, even if it's a no, at least we can see how beautiful it looks on you."

  Half an hour passes of dress after dress. But my heart is still in love with the first one Raven picked out for me. It's perfect—even though my wallet is leaning more towards their clearance aisle on the far wall.

  "Did you find one you love?" I spin around after hearing Theo's voice. He’s hurrying back inside. His white shirt is soaked along the shoulders.

  I see Cameron's reflection in the mirror as she watches Theo move across the room. He walks over to where I'm standing and leans down for a kiss, but I turn away at the last second. Instead, I look back at the navy blue dress hanging on the rack in front of me. It wasn't the prettiest one, but it's affordable and comfy. Plus, Becks has a pair of heels that would go perfectly along with it.

  "I think this one will do okay." I answer him.

  Just then, Raven rushes up behind us, startling me. "Here you are,” she says in a soft voice. I look down and see she's holding a garment bag and a rather large tote in her hands. That proud smile is pulling at her lips. "It's all here, Mr. Wescott." She turns to me. "You're going to look absolutely stunning."

  Wait. . .?

  "But I haven't even told you which dress I want yet." My eyes are moving along the garment bag, when I see the fifteen-hundred-dollar tag and receipt that have not been so secretly shoved inside the clear lining. "Is that the—"

  "Your dress? Yup. It is now." Raven’s smile widens. "I knew from the moment you saw yourself, that this was made for you," she coos. She raises her hand to partially cover her mouth as she whispers, "I even threw in the nude Christian Louboutin ankle strap stilettos too."

  "Christian. . . Louboutin. . . what?" I shake my head. "Oh no. No, no."

  "Is it what you want?"

  I jump, almost forgetting that Theo's beside me.

  Without looking at him, I say, "It's gorgeous, but it's far too much."

  Theo turns back to Raven and shrugs his shoulders. "Well, if you like it, then it’s yours." He reaches out to take the items from Raven's arms. He eyes the receipt, which has the total circled in big, bold numbers, and barely bats an eye. "Besides, it's already paid for. Thank you, Raven. You've been very helpful."

  I raise a hand to object as he turns around and starts toward the door. Seriously? I groan when he doesn't stop. I look over my shoulder at Raven and thank her for all of her help before I run after him.

  "Theo, wait!" I call after him before he manages to step into the street. The sound of the heavy raindrops pelting down on the tin awning makes it hard to hear past a few feet. "I can't let you buy that. It's too much."

  He looks down at me and takes a step in my direction. "Are you hungry?"

  “Am I . . . what?"

  "Are you hungry?"

  I rear back. "Seriously?"

  "Are. You. Hungry?"

  "Um . . . I mean, I guess I could eat." I shake my head, confused as to what my hunger has to do with any of this.

  He nods. "Get in the truck, Brielle," he says in a low, demanding voice. His tone makes it clear that there’s something else he wants to tell me, but that now isn't the time for it. "We'll talk on the way to lunch."

  In the blink of an eye, he’s gone, as he steps out into the street and runs through the rain, towards his truck. When I get to the car, Theo is quiet while he waits until I'm buckled and then drives out of the parking lot. I stare out the window, watching the rain beat down. My mind is busying itself, making a list of all the questions I have about his relationship—or whatever he shared— with Cameron.

  We hit county road 423, when the rain begins to cover the windshield in sheets, making it hard to see anything. "I'm pulling over." Theo slowly turns into the next parking lot.

  I lean forward and try to see if I can make out anything identifiable, but it’s pointless. "God, this came out of nowhere." I let myself fall back into my seat and unbuckle the seatbelt.

  "What are you doing?" Theo jerks upright as if he thinks I’ll leave.

  "Nothing” I slide my legs under me, and he relaxes his head against his headrest. "All right, spill," I command.

  "Spill what?"

  I pull my hand from under my chin and use it to outline the length of him. "This. You. Why you're acting so strange all of a sudden." I purse my lips, feeling annoyed.

  If anyone should be upset, it should be me. He should have known that choosing a place his ex works at would have been awkward for me. What the hell does he have to be upset abo—

  "I spoke with Luca today."

  I’m sorry . . . what? Theo spoke to Luca?

  "Luca? Y- you spoke to Luca?" I ask if only to verify that I’m not hearing things. "When?"

  "Today. While you were dress shopping." He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. This obviously isn't easy for him to talk about, which is why I’m even surprised that he’s willing to talk about it. "I. . . uh. . . I called him actually. I wanted to apologize for. . . uh . . . well, for everything."

  Oh. I drop my head, my chest tightening. As if reading my mind, he continues, "Yeah," He laughs, sighing as he pushes a hand through his grown-out, disheveled mess of hair. His fingers thrum the steering wheel. "He didn't take it so well." He pauses. "But we ended things okay enough."

  "Okay? Enough?”

  "Yes, Brielle." He shakes his head. But I am still in shock. "Do you want a play-by-play or somethi—"

  "No, no," I interrupt him, waving him off. "I'm just in shock is all. I just can't believe
you called him."

  Theo reaches across the console and takes my hand. His fingers entwine with mine as he raises my hand to his lips and kisses it. "Well, it was either make nice with the guy or kill him." He rasps against the inside of my wrist, playfully biting it. "Would you have preferred the latter?"

  "No." I giggle at the idea because, not for the first time, I can see the change in him. One thing is for sure. If today has proved anything, it's that Theo is serious about us—and about making an effort to be better . . . do better. This realization gives me hope.

  "So," he says. His suddenly somber tone catches me off guard. "Do you want to talk about it?"

  I bite at my lower lip. "About . . . Luca?" I ask not sure what else he thinks I need to know.

  "No." He sucks in a breath as if it pains him to do so. "About Cameron."

  Oh. Her. I press my opposite hand into my palm and mindlessly knead it. Does their past truly matter? I ask myself. My mind and heart are torn as to what my response should be. My heart tells me to forget about it and move on. But my mind is dying to know.

  Thankfully, Theo can tell I'm struggling and is willing to help. "Before you say anything, I just want to say, please don't be mad." He cups my face with his hand. "I called Eliza this morning and asked her to make an appointment. Had I known Cameron worked there, I would have never taken you to that shop. I'm so sorry. I know how awkward that must have been." His thumb runs along my bottom lip, gently tugging the corner free from where I was biting it.

  I let myself breathe in more steadily. My heart reels with his every word. "Oh thank God." I let out the breath. "I was questioning why you thought to take me there. But I didn't know what to say."

  "Oh no. Fuck no." He's smiles. "I wouldn't wish that girl upon my worst enemy."

  I roll my eyes, finding that hard to believe. Cameron’s beautiful. Other than her blunt mouth and snide glances, how bad could she really be? "I find that hard to believe.”

  "Trust me, babe. That girl is definitely not my type," he groans, leaning over the console.

  My skin prickles at the nearness of him. All of my worries washing away with the rain. "Oh yeah?" I lean closer toward him. "So, then what's your type if not—"