Just Like Me

by Dani Hall

  “You want to know what I really thought?” I jumped, glancing up at Taylor. He sighed, sinking into the couch in front of the T.V. “I didn’t know what to think about you. You’re right, I expected someone who was completely in love with me to win the competition. I was annoyed that you didn’t even recognize me when you walked in. I was even more annoyed that you didn’t catch on to saying my name in the coffee house.” He paused, looking up at me. “But…it’s different. You’re…different.” He shook his head, as if lost in thought. “I can’t just put you in a nice hotel with nice clothes. I thought that’d make you swoon. If it’s not for me being a star, you’d at least swoon over the money. But you didn’t. What can I do, Kale? I could make every other girl in America…in the world…fall for me. But here you are, looking like you could probably kill me with your bare hands if you could get away with it.”

  I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in. I felt my heart beating in my chest as I stared at him. Just when I thought I had him figured out, he flipped on me.

  “That.” I said, sitting down next to him. “Just when I think that arrogant brat is about to talk, the honest, normal guy talks. Well, not normal, I guess…I’m just trying to figure out who you really are. I don’t give a crap about money or fame, that doesn’t matter to me. The arrogant star who thinks he can get whoever he wants? I don’t find that attractive. It’s annoying. The guy that calls a movie station and saves my butt, even though he’s the one who screwed it up in the first place…that’s…that’s better. I guess you could’ve just let them air me in all the negative light, make yourself look even better, but you didn’t. So that leaves me in a very confused position.

  “Honest.” He said, finally breaking his gaze. “Arrogance…” He smiled softly, almost sadly. “I can’t always help that. I mean, I am attractive. Any girl would kill to be with me.” He looked up to make sure I caught that he was joking. I kept his gaze. “And then there’s you. In order for me to win you over, it would take a lot more.”

  “You’re right. And it’s not easy.” I said. He laughed.

  “Yea, I think I figured that out.” We both took a moment and relaxed. He leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes. I stared at the screen on the T.V., not that I was paying attention to Joe, but it gave me something to look at. “I’ve never known what that’s like.” He said finally. He didn’t open his eyes.

  “What what’s like?”

  “Actually working to win someone over. I’m so used to everyone already being in love with me. Any girl, I can have her. I never had to work for it. If a girlfriend got mad, I threw a piece of jewelry at her and she’d be fine. I got thrown off my game when someone wasn’t willing to just go on a date with me. I’ve never known what that was like. I’ve been famous for so long…” He opened his eyes finally, staring at the ceiling. “I got mad when I threw stuff like this hotel room and a pretty dress and a photo shoot with a walk on the beach at you and you didn’t so much as flinch.”

  “No, the walk on the beach thing was good.”

  “But that’s the thing; any other girl wouldn’t even care. They’re all so blinded, so star struck. I feel like every girl I’ve ever gone out with never even knew who I was. To them, I’m a celebrity. I’m a dollar sign. I’m nothing.”

  I propped my head in my hand.

  “Well, who are you then, Taylor Jett?”

  “I don’t even know if I know.”

  “Well…maybe next time you won’t just settle for someone who sees the actor, and not the person.”

  All of a sudden, he started laughing. Just a body-shaking, breath-taking laugh. It was cute, I loved that laugh as soon as I heard it.

  “Just like me.” He finally got out.

  “What?”

  “I was about to ask you, if I was just another guy, how would we have spent tonight…and then I realized the whole point of this freaking contest.”

  I laughed too. It was ridiculous. We had spent the evening at expensive places, showing that Taylor was in no way the same world I was.

  “So what would you have done?” He asked.

  “I do what?”

  “If I were to go on a date with you, what’s the normal protocol for you?”

  “I…don’t date much.” I was flustered.

  “If someone asked you out, what would you have done at home?”

  “He would have probably insisted we go to the movies. Just because I’m a manager and I could have got him in free. He probably wouldn’t have been very nice, probably would have made me drive myself. After the movie he probably wouldn’t have even thanked me, and then gone home.”

  “Really?” He said, unimpressed.

  “Yea, the only reason I say that is because that’s what happens whenever I try to date someone.” I gave him a half grin. “They only like me for my free movies. No one actually likes me. Which, you don’t either, so I guess I ask for it.”

  “That’s not true,” but he was smiling too.

  “Well, one time, the guy wasn’t only in it to see a free movie.”

  “What else was it?”

  “It was to see you on screen.”

  We both laughed.

  “He was gay?” He asked, taking a breath.

  “Yea.” I joked, and we both laughed again.

  “Wow…”

  “Yea, when it comes to dating…I’m not the best person to ask about. My record isn’t great. My friend Lisa, she’s the pretty one.”

  “I disagree with that.” A tingle went through me as he sighed. “Jerry’s probably freaking out.” He pulled his phone out and started dialing Mr. Nolan’s number. “He’s also probably going to be upset I contacted media.”

  He listened to it ring a couple times before hanging up.

  “Well, I tried.” He shrugged.

  “You ever get tired of all this?”

  “What?”

  “The fame, the cameras? Never getting to live your life without a picture being taken? Never showing your true colors?”

  “You should see some of the stories that come out on the media. I swear, they make up whatever the hell they want and don’t even care how it affects us. One time a broadcast went out saying I was some kid’s father. I’m 20, and I’d never even heard of the girl who was claiming I was her baby’s daddy.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “Yea, I know. It took forever for the media to finally quit broadcasting the story. And you think they ever cleared the air and said I wasn’t the dad?”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  I let out a low whistle.

  “That’s pretty harsh.”

  “Yea, that’s why I try to create things for the media to have. I try to control it as much as I can, but even if I think it’s a perfect plan, they still find ways to make me or my family look bad. Or you, like that video of last night. Bad news is good news for the media.”

  We both sat in silence, watching Joe bash more stars on the T.V. He was talking about Taylor’s costar in the zombie movies.

  “See, that’s a lie.” He said pointing at the T.V. “Veronica isn’t dating that guy. She’s dating a props guy on set right now.” He shook his head.

  He stood up, stretching. We both had been talking a while. He held out a hand and I took it, letting him help me up. He had put a little too much energy behind his pull and I ended up getting slammed against him. While I tried stumbling apologies, he laughed it off, but held me there. I felt my heart pound as I felt his abs brush up against my stomach. Self-conscious, I laughed nervously, backing away from him. He put his hands in his pockets, awkwardly.

  We both jumped at the sound of a knock on the door. He glanced up, full alert.

  “Dunno who that is.” He said, striding around the couch and toward the door. I followed after. He opened the door and a very pissed off Mr. Nolan was standing behind the door.

  “Taylor.” He said, venom dripping from the name. “Time to go fix whatever it is you fucked up ton
ight.”

  “Alright.” Taylor said, waving him off. “If you don’t mind, I haven’t fucked anything yet tonight. So-“ And he slammed the door in Mr. Nolan’s face. I felt Taylor’s finger under my chin as he closed my mouth.

  “Yea, I can be a bastard sometimes.”

  “That guy could really mess up your publicity. He is your agent.”

  Taylor pulled me to him, and I was leaning up against the door. Taylor put a hand up to the side of my face, his other hand going around my waist.

  “I want to see you again.” He whispered. I wasn’t sure what to say, I felt too dizzy. I could see the dark rim around his iris, the brown getting lighter until it reached the pupil. He was gorgeous, so enticing.

  Oh no.

  “I-“ He put a finger up to my lips, and started leaning in. I wanted to do it. I wanted to close my eyes and let him kiss me. But I turned my head just in time and his lips kissed my cheek.

  “Want me to treat you normal?” I asked, smiling. “I don’t kiss on the first date.”

  He chuckled, slowly backing away from me.

  “Fair enough.” He replied. He opened the door a crack, taking a step out. “What about a second?”

  “No media involvement?”

  “None that I control.”

  “How do I know this isn’t just for publicity? How do I know you’re not pulling my chain?”

  “Well,” he started, looking me in the eyes, “I’m just trying to figure out who I am. And I think you are the perfect person to call me out on any bullshit. Am I right?”

  I blinked, feeling myself swoon.

  No. No. No. I can’t do this.

  “Ok.” I squeaked.

  He smiled and stepped out into the hallway. I held on to the door, leaning against it as he stood out in the hallway. No sign of Mr. Nolan.

  “They were supposed to bring those pictures that will be in the magazine by dinner; I’ll stop by there and grab them. You trust me to pick some out?”

  I hesitated. I hate that I hesitated. I hate it even more that he noticed.

  “Yea, I trust you.” I stumbled.

  “No you don’t.” He snorted. He wasn’t offended, thank God.

  “I do, I really do. I don’t care.”

  “How bout I go pick those up, pick up my hoodie and sunglasses so media won’t follow. Or…” He scratched his head. “I may have to figure another disguise out. I can bring them back here in around an hour. Sound alright?”

  “Yea,” I glanced behind me at the clock above the kitchen. It was eight o’clock. “That’s fine.”

  “Good, I’ll just pick up a key from the desk. Security won’t bother you tonight, but if you need them they’ll be in their rooms.” I nodded.

  “Ok. See you in an hour.” I went to shut the door and he caught it, leaning in with a mischievous grin.

  “Will this count as a second date?”

  I playfully pushed him back out into the hall.

  “You wish.”

  “Yea, I do.” He agreed, and this time he wore a genuine grin as he started walking down the hallway. It was nice to see him wearing a smile that wasn’t filled with arrogance, but with happiness. He turned around and waved at me, I waved back, closing the door behind me.

  I breathed a sigh of relief as the lock clicked home.

  Then felt tightness, wondering what in the world I was doing.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I spent part of my hour wisely, in the hot tub with the waterfall. I washed the curls out of my hair and the makeup off my face. What the hell was I thinking?

  As suds swirled around me I considered Taylor Jett. This could be a whole new scheme at publicity. This man humiliated me. But then he saved me. Then humiliated me again. It seemed like a never ending vicious cycle, and here I was, willingly throwing myself into the middle of it. What kind of game is this? What the hell was I thinking, agreeing to see him again?

  I contemplated not even allowing Taylor back in. Then I remembered he said he was picking up a key. This whole charade was just complicating my life more than necessary. Maybe this was just a one night thing. Maybe he wanted to get lucky, so he was pulling his nice cards hoping to stay in my bed.

  That thought kind of crushed me. But, in all reality, it could be true. I doubt he’d have to try so hard with anyone else, but maybe he liked the chase.

  Did the media see him leave the hotel room? Will they still think he stayed here? He said he was going to leave, and then pick up his hoody. So they would see him leave, essentially, but not come back. Did he do that because of me?

  When I was done in the tub, I threw on a t-shirt and jeans that I had packed. Gazing in my bedroom mirror, I saw the old me. The made-over me was gone, the stick-straight hair was drying, the same plain face I wore day to day was back. Maybe Taylor started liking me because of the glitz earlier. I wasn’t the same made-over doll I was before. Maybe he’d take one look at me and walk right back out the door.

  I took a second to glance at my phone, realizing Lisa was freaking out and that I had missed a call from my Mom. She was probably watching the T.V. shows, there’s no telling what in the world she thought.

  I glanced at the clock, 8:45. She would probably be getting Nori down to bed. I decided against calling her back tonight. I’d try to catch her tomorrow and try to explain everything.

  I sent a brief explanation to Lisa saying I was still staying, not exactly saying I was about to spend more time with Taylor. I put my phone away and turned the T.V. on. I quickly turned to a music channel.

  An upbeat song came on and I started dancing around, jumping up and down. It drowned out all my thoughts, whether I was about to make a big mistake or not. Whether this was all just an act Taylor was putting on for publicity: hanging out with the girl longer than planned for a good media story.

  Another song came on and it was by an artist I recognized, Chrissie Fast. She was singing a song about some amazing guy that broke her heart. The chorus was really upbeat:

  Take away the clothing see I’m bruised and battered,

  Take away the joy and see my heart is shattered.

  I’m still alive.

  I’m still alive.

  Chrissie kept singing the heartbreak song, and I kept dancing around, singing along, like an idiot. Imagine my surprise when I spun around and saw Taylor in the doorway. I must have yelled, but didn’t hear it over the music. I fumbled for the remote, muting the T.V. quickly. I wiped back my suddenly sweaty forehead and felt embarrassment color my face.

  He locked the door behind him and walked in with an amused expression.

  “Chrissie Fast?”

  I was breathing hard, I tried to act like I had caught my breath, but it wasn’t working that well.

  “Yea…I umm…I like her music.” I panted motioning in the general direction of the T.V. I tried to gather my wits.

  “That particular song she was singing?”

  “Yea?”

  “She wrote that about me.”

  I laughed, a little nervously, really embarrassed. Even more embarrassed that I was singing a song about him, being an obvious heart breaker.

  He came over and sat down on the couch. He took off a new hoodie and sunglasses and took out an envelope. He was wearing a t-shirt under the hoodie, and jeans. I didn’t feel so bad about my attire.

  “So you dated Chrissie Fast?”

  “Yea.”

  “I’m guessing it didn’t end well?”

  “No.” He started laying picture after picture out onto the table. “You listen to her music a lot?” He asked.

  “She’s one of my favorite artists.” I laughed.

  “Of course,” He said shaking his head with a smile. He patted the place next to him. My heart panicked in my chest as I made my legs wobble over and sink down on the couch next to him.

  I looked at all the pictures lying over the table, the beach scene along with a few I didn’t even know they had taken. There were pictures of me getting into black cars
and getting on and off the jet. I picked up a close up of me and Hector talking before entering the jet. It looked like I was mid-sneeze or something.

  “I didn’t even know they took this.”

  “The media works like that; they would have posted this without your permission, normally.”

  I had an awkward face in a lot of the pictures. There were a few of the two of us together that looked good. One of us splashing in the ocean, one of us walking along the beach. One of Taylor whispering in my ear what pose I should probably strike next.

  “I am so attractive.” Taylor said, picking up one picture of him holding on to me. “You look like you want to kill me in all of these.” He noted.

  “I did.”

  “Good to know.”

  We both picked out our favorites, ocean pictures, movies, and a few they managed to take at the restaurant. We were trying to decide on a last picture when I heard my phone going off; my mom’s ring tone was playing. I glanced up at the clock, 9:30. She would normally be in bed.

  “Sorry, hold on.” I said. I went and grabbed my phone from the kitchen bar.

  “Hello?”

  “Kale? Kale where are you?”

  “I’m…” Oh God. Now what? “Umm…”

  “Kale we’ve seen your picture all over the news this afternoon. What’s going on with you? What’s this about you winning that contest? Abe said you were staying at the same hotel with him tonight.”

  “No, it’s not like that. The media is getting it wrong.”

  “What?”

  “I…”

  “So you didn’t win?”

  “Well, yea I did win. But we’re not…” I held the words ‘sleeping together.’

  “I was worried. You didn’t answer my phone call.”

  “Yea, I’m sorry. It’s been one heck of a day.”

  “I’m sure it has. Just…call me tomorrow. I’m glad you’re ok, but I have to be at work in the morning. Please call, I’d like to know what’s going on.” Worry dripped from her voice, and a stab of guilt ran through me.

  “Alright, say hello to Nori and Abe for me.”

  “I will, good night Kale.”

  “Night.”

  I hung up and placed my phone back on the bar. Taylor was looking over the couch at me.