Finding Thyme

by TJ Hamilton

  “What are you going to tell Tench about today?” Tatiana’s voice is still a whisper.

  “Nothing. I won’t need to say anything at all. Do you really think his guys are going to admit that they lost us when we were just over in the church all along?” I wink. “Even the priest can vouch for us.”

  The pianist trills a beautiful melody in the hotel foyer as we step through the doors opened for us by the busboys. We make our way up to the restaurant on the mezzanine level and stumble into our chairs like we did as exhausted teenagers after a day of shopping. I clumsily drop all the bags full of designer clothes beside my feet, and Tatiana orders us our Russian high tea, which she’s very excited to share with me. A little too predictably, Tench comes up within half an hour.

  “Well, aren’t you two the talk of the town?” He grins as he dramatically stomps across the mezzanine level.

  My brow furrows and I smile nervously as I stand. I hope we’ve pulled this off.

  “Haven’t you seen all the newspapers?” he says as he holds up a handful of them.

  Tatiana giggles at the headlines. Why didn’t I learn some Russian before I came here? I look at Tatiana and hope she gives me the translation.

  “The beauty that ballet brings,” Tatiana almost sings. Then Tench holds up another newspaper. “St Petersburg smiles.” She laughs. “You’re just in time for afternoon tea, Joe. Would you like some fruit?” Tatiana waves her hand across the small table that our tub chairs nest around and then delicately straightens her skirt as she reaches for her cup of zavarka, a strong black tea.

  Tench says he has to make a call but he’ll be back. After he kisses me goodbye, I take a thin slice of watermelon and a small pastry from the platter and place it on my plate. Before I’ve even sat on my chair again, Luka comes up the stairs. Tatiana beams her most beautiful smile, like Kira used to in ballet school. She’s still that girl and that is her real smile—and she saves it for him. I look across to Luka as he reaches out for Tatiana. Oh, these two have got it bad for each other. I chuckle under my breath as I quickly shake hands with Luka and take a bite of my pastry.

  I sit back and watch them both chatter away to one another in Russian. I think I’ve discovered Russia’s two favourite pastimes: drinking black tea, and drinking vodka.

  I begin to enjoy myself. My thoughts briefly take me away to a place that’s not real. I realise I still have a job to do tomorrow, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention again. As if my body knows he’s nearby, Dima steps slowly up the stairs of the restaurant. I shoot a glance towards Tatiana to make sure she’s alright after hearing what he wanted to do to me. To my surprise, she’s handling this better than I thought she would. She gently sips on her tea as if nothing’s the matter at all. I place my plate back on the table and wait for his greeting.

  Dima claps his hands together once. “Ladies, you have enjoyed yourselves today, yes?” He fails miserably in sounding sincere. “Everybody in St Petersburg loves seeing Tatiana Pavlenka and Joseph Tench’s new fiancée together. They say our city is blessed to have you. Is this so, you think?” His eyes narrow slightly.

  I wonder if the reaction from the people of St Petersburg will change Dima’s mind about me. But something tells me that once his mind is set, he won’t budge on the idea. He just doesn’t realise how right he is about me. I watch Tatiana from the corner of my eye to follow her reaction; she knows these guys better than I do.

  She giggles. “Is there a photo of us down at the Bronze Horseman? You should’ve seen the crowd we had going on down there.”

  I almost want to slap her across her stupid face. What if there are photos that show us getting into a car? I’m pretty sure I had all the photographers picked around us. The car was on the opposite side to them so they wouldn’t have seen us.

  Luka laughs. “One report said you got away from the fans with a smart trick?”

  I laugh. “That was Tatiana’s idea. We had to be over to see the priest at St Isaac’s Cathedral. He was giving us a personal tour, but we didn’t think his Holy Father was going to be too impressed if we brought a crowd with us, so we had to lose them.”

  Tatiana shrugs playfully. “This is not the first time I’ve had to use a clever escape from fans.” She chuckles and takes another sip of her tea.

  She’s so collected around these men, and I appreciate that. I think we understand each other better than we realise. Once you’ve sold yourself, what was once yours becomes theirs. But there’s one thing they’ll never buy, and that’s your heart. No one understands this like Tatiana does. There are remnants of Kira in there, but the majority of her is shattered just like I am. The smallest pieces are the hardest parts to put back together. I hope she finds peace one day.

  NINETEEN

  Our Russian high tea soon turns into a four-hour, two-bottles-of-vodka drinking session. It’s been pleasant sitting, chatting together; even Dima has been somewhat tolerable. I slide my hand down Tench’s hard, thick leg. The effects of the vodka have set in nicely, and I want a piece of Tench right now. His cheerful attitude tonight has been a charm that’s hard to ignore, and why would I? I love being with him in bed. Tench is my favourite game.

  I lean across and whisper in Tench’s ear, “I want to go and make love to my fiancé.” I breathe the word fiancé and gently run my tongue along the bottom of his earlobe.

  He takes a deep breath and grins wildly. “Excuse me, gentlemen, but I want to get this gorgeous fiancée of mine upstairs before she has too much to drink.” He flicks the bottom of my chin with his index finger.

  “There’s no such thing as too much to drink in Russia,” Dima boldly replies.

  My eyes flick to his. He stares at me, challenging me to bite. Luka breaks Dima’s attempt at stopping Tench from going.

  “One more before you go.” He holds out two thin filled vodka glasses for us. “Na zdorovje,” he bellows out as he holds the glass up.

  “Na-strovia,” I reply in my Australian attempt at Russian.

  Tench and I hold hands and cuddle into one another as we ride the elevator to our hotel room. We look every part the newly engaged couple. We get into the suite and I have the sudden urge to sit Tench down and ask him everything. I want to ask him why he feels it’s acceptable to trade women like they’re cattle? Why does he have to murder people? Why couldn’t he be normal so we could’ve had some kind of happiness together?

  My urges are interrupted by Tench’s phone. He looks at me apologetically, mouthing the word “sorry” as he answers.

  The conversation is half in English and half in Russian. He ends the call and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

  “That was Dima. He wants to take you to see our new bar tomorrow. I have some business down at the port for the day.” He shucks off his shirt. “We’ve been having some issues with the port authorities lately that I have to deal with. I may be away all day again … and I don’t want you to be alone.” I see sorrow in his eyes. “But I promise you that we are almost settled with the business end of things. In a day or two I can give you some more of my time, and I can show you my Russia.” He smiles.

  My mind races with his words. He’ll be down at the port. He’s having issues with the authorities, and he’s going to deal with them. This only means one thing in Tench’s world: certain death to those who stop him. Dima’s plans seem to be falling into place for him, too. Too bad he’s now the target.

  “What time will Dima be here? I was hoping to get my hair blow-dried tomorrow at the hotel salon,” I lie.

  “He’ll bring the car to pick you up at eleven. I’ll get him to bring you to me after.” He smiles, completely oblivious to the hurt his cousin is planning to bring upon him.

  What if there’s more to it? What if this isn’t about me after all? What if Dmitri’s real target is Tench, and I’m just the collateral damage? The idea is really off track, but what if Dmitri wants to get rid of me to teach Tench a lesson in his priorities with the family business? Maybe he thinks I’m
too much of a distraction for Tench? I need to tell Simon and Liz my theories tomorrow, as soon as Tench has gone. But now, I need a solid session in the sack to take away the tension.

  Right on cue, Tench strides up to me, whisks me into his arms, and then carries me into the bedroom. He throws me down on the bed and smirks as he strips down. He doesn’t bother taking my clothes off, and rips them from my body.

  “This habit of yours is becoming expensive, you know. That shirt was Armani. I got it with my suit,” I playfully tease.

  Tench moves his way over my body. He licks and bites at my skin across my belly, and nuzzles his face down between my legs. He slides my underwear off and slips his fingers inside me. I can’t tell how many of his strong fingers he uses because he has absorbed my whole body. I grip onto his shoulders and pull him up to me. I want to feel his lips on mine.

  He hovers above me. He looks down and grins again and within an instant I’m lost in his eyes. My body yearns for him to be in it.

  His legs spread mine apart and he comfortably slips inside me. He leans down and kisses my lips at the same time. My legs grip around his body and I pull him tight against me, our skin heating up. His kiss is full of passion.

  His length hits every spot and I moan. I feel his gaze on me so I open my eyes. We watch each other as our bodies collide into one another with deep prolonged strokes, still locked onto one another’s gaze.

  I study all of his face and he watches mine. When Tench reaches a spot inside me that I never thought would be touched by him, I cry out. My eyes fix upon the deep amber of his. I don’t know if it’s the addition of a ring on my finger, but something feels different about this. Tench smiles and his lips press against mine, and his tongue fills my mouth with the same passion as our pounding bodies.

  “I love you.” The words involuntarily escape me as I make love to Tench for the rest of the night.

  TWENTY

  My eyes groggily open to Tench lying next to me, still peacefully sleeping. I smile as I watch him for a moment. Right now, he looks a far cry from the evil that he actually is. I shuffle closer to him and snuggle into his warm body. He takes a deep breath and automatically reacts by holding onto me. We’ve never done this before: just lying in bed together. It feels nice.

  My body is blissfully exhausted from our love-making session last night. It’s taken it out of me, more so than if we’d just had a solid fuck.

  I love you? What is wrong with me? Why did I tell Tench I love him? I didn’t mean to say it, I just did. What does that even mean?

  “Good morning, gorgeous,” Tench says as he kisses my hair.

  I roll over but can’t look at him yet. I still don’t know what to do with the three words I said, so I look down and trace over his tattoo on his abs. I rub my tongue across my teeth and pray that I don’t have morning breath as I lean up and kiss him. I’ve never had to deal with this kind of normality with Tench before. Our relationship has never been this normal before. I bury my head back into the crook of his shoulder but say nothing. How can I? What am I supposed to say to the man I’m taking down, when the last thing I said to him was that I loved him?

  “Wow. That was amazing last night.” He yawns. “You really knocked me about. I haven’t felt like this for a long time. If at all, really,” he continues and stretches out, with me still tucked within his vice-like arms. “And I don’t think I’ve ever woken up so well, either.”

  I roll out of his arms and stretch out too. “I was a little surprised to find you still with me this morning.” I grin.

  Tench chuckles and playfully pokes me with his fingers. “I think that just became a habit. A habit I think I might need to break.” He pokes me again and I squirm around, giggling.

  He laughs too and holds onto me once more.

  “Okay. We had better get up. Dima will be coming by soon.”

  That’s right. Dima is coming to kill me. I watch Tench as he gets out of the bed and walks towards the shower, and I sigh to myself. I need to get out soon before I fall in too deep. Or am I already in over my head?

  Tench and his faithful Toni both wait with me at the front of the hotel for Dima to arrive. My heartbeat thuds in my ears. I fold my legs together and feel the firearm hidden down in my knee-high boot. My mind runs over the sequence of orders that were sent through from the boss. Simon should be driving the vehicle. I get in the vehicle and sit with my back to the driver and shoot Dima … I’m actually going to kill someone.

  Tench looks down at his watch. Is he late?

  “What’s the time?” I ask as nonchalantly as possible.

  “Almost twenty past eleven.” Tench frowns.

  I wonder what’s happened? Has something gone wrong with Simon? I hope he’s okay. I know he’s been in the job longer than me, but all of a sudden this feels unfamiliarly dangerous.

  “Maybe he’s stuck in traffic?” I try and rationalise.

  He shakes his head. “No, he’s never late.” He pulls his phone from his pocket as it starts ringing.

  I press my finger to my right ear and feel the little dot at the back of my helix. I can’t hear Simon or Liz, and I can’t say anything to them with Tench so close, either. I watch Tench. He doesn’t say a word back to the person down the phone. The conversation ends within seconds and he nods to Toni. They both grab onto my arms and rip me back inside the hotel.

  “What’s going on?” I ask Tench as soon as we’re inside the hotel.

  “Shhh. Don’t talk so loud.” He frowns at me. “Let’s go to the suite where I can talk to you alone.”

  The colour drains from my face. This is it. I’m about to meet my fate. Tench wraps his arm around me and ushers me briskly across the foyer. Toni follows behind us. I struggle to keep up as we take the grand staircase to the elevators. My heart is pounding in my ears and I can’t hear a single sound around me. I focus on how I’ll grab my firearm and command it to shoot. If Tench knows about me now, I am going to have to kill him and Toni before they kill me.

  The moment the elevator doors close I prepare to reach down inside my boot. At the same time, Tench grabs me. He holds me tight and grips onto me.

  Did Tench find out about Dima’s intentions for me? What’s going to happen now?

  “Are you okay, gorgeous? I’m sorry I scared you like that,” Tench whispers into my ear as he holds me. “You’re okay with me now. Let’s get you upstairs.”

  “Joe, you’re scaring me,” I say.

  “There’s nothing to be scared about now, Miss Miranda. We’ve got you covered. You’re safe with us,” Toni assures me.

  Tench holds me out in front of him and palms the side of my face. His lips rest against my forehead and the doors of the elevator open. Toni races through first. Tench grips onto me and I follow him into the suite. Toni meets us at the door and nods to Tench, and then smiles at me. Tench sits on the couch in the living room and jerks me down next to him.

  His stony face stares straight into me. “Miranda. You know how some of my work is more family based than business based?” He pauses.

  I nod, waiting for what he’s about to tell me.

  “Well sometimes in the family world, there are other families who want what you’ve got. They do business the hard way. Today, someone was going to kidnap you and Dima and they were going to assassinate Dima and use you for ransom against me.”

  I stare at him and try to act surprised, but I knew this. Hang on. Only the agency knew this. My mind races for a moment. I stare at the ground and try to piece together the only rational explanation.

  “I knew this trip was a bad idea, boss.” Toni shakes his head as he makes his way over to the couch.

  “How do you know this?” I ask Tench.

  “One of Dima’s guys warned him. That was Dima who called. He’s been taken to a safe house now until we know more.” Tench stares at me. “I’m sorry you’ve been brought into all of this. I shouldn’t have let you and Tatiana go out by yourselves yesterday. This is all my fault.” He slams his fis
t down hard on the coffee table.

  The rosewood piece cracks underneath his carnal strength and I jump. Tench gets up abruptly and flips the table halfway across the room. I cower for a moment and quickly compose myself enough to watch him storm out of the room. Toni smiles as apologetically as possible.

  “It’s all good, Toni.” I shrug my coat off. “I can deal with Joe.” I pick up my handbag and make my way to the bathroom.

  I find Tench pacing around the bedroom, his frustration building up. I drop my handbag and coat down on the bed and grab onto Tench.

  “I’m okay. See?” I hold his face between my hands so that he has to look at me. “You found out before anything happened, so your guys are doing their job.” I try to calm him. “I can do this, Joe. I know what life you live. We’ve known each other for a long time now.”

  “Ten years,” he answers and grips onto me. “I never want you out of my sight.”

  “I don’t want to leave you for the remainder of the trip.” I test his statement.

  He sighs, but seems to relax a little. “Well, I still have some work to do, but I won’t leave you alone. You’ll always be with one of my cousins,” he assures me.

  “Good idea.” I nod.

  Little does Tench realise that I want to stay close to his cousins, too, especially Dima. I need to know every move he has planned for me, and Dima won’t realise his conversations in Russian are being recorded by the agency.

  The thought of Liz makes me wonder if my brother’s okay. I need to get in contact with her, but I still can’t say anything out loud, and it’s not like she can read my thoughts with this earpiece. I sigh.

  “Are you okay in here by yourself for a moment, gorgeous?” Tench asks. “I need to go and speak with Toni.”

  I nod. “Of course. Go. I’ll freshen up.”

  When he’s gone, I race into the bathroom and press my finger against the helix of my ear and whisper into the mic under my watch, “Liz. Simon. Are you there? We’ve got a rat amongst the ranks. The job is off.” I stand in the doorway of the bathroom in case Tench comes back into the room.