The Honey Well

by Gloria Mallette

  Arnell struggled to catch her breath and to steady her head. Her neck was killing her, her head was hurting, and James’s fingers were digging into her shoulders. “Let go of me!”

  After a painful heartbeat, James released Arnell. He began to sob.

  “Humph, humph, humph,” Esther said. “I see you can get pretty violent.”

  Arnell tried to rub her achy neck. “You are a contemptuously bitter, evil old woman. How could you be so cruel? So vindictive? You knew this would hurt him.”

  “Sweetie, that’s not my problem. I just simply told the truth.”

  “Then tell him that you also fucked his father.”

  James almost choked. He started coughing.

  “You want the whole truth, James?” Arnell was now hell-bent on freeing herself of all secrets. “Esther and I both had sex with your father, together and separately.”

  “What?” James roared.

  “It’s called a ménage à trois,” Esther informed James. “It’s all the rage.”

  “You are truly vile,” Arnell said. “You’re sick to be enjoying this. James, you should know how that came to be.”

  Whether James wanted to know more or not, he said nothing as he gawked in disbelief at Esther and Arnell.

  “Money truly is my mother’s god, James. Five years ago, at your father’s request, for a fee of five thousand dollars, my mother manipulated me, her own personal hand puppet, into having a ménage à trois with her and your father.”

  “You didn’t turn down your share of the money,” Esther said.

  “I was a prostitute. Isn’t it about the money?”

  James’s mouth never opened, as he was frozen in stunned silence.

  “When this is all over, sweetie, remember it was you that told this part. I would have never told him this.”

  “No, you would have held that over my head until the day I died.”

  “Sweetie, you really do think so little of me. I would not’ve hurt you that way.”

  “Oh God, woman! What planet are you on? You have always hurt me! You’ve cut my heart out. And this is about more than James. It’s about my entire life. It’s about you being the worst kind of mother ever imagined. That umbilical cord that attached me to you didn’t just give me life, it poisoned my life, it took my life’s breath every time you pimped me to another man.”

  Stubbing out her cigarette, Esther lit another. “I need a drink,” she said, looking at the bar on the side wall where James stood with his hand covering his mouth. She couldn’t get her drink just yet—she didn’t want to go anywhere near James.

  “You’re just like your lover Kesley, you are disgustingly vile,” Arnell said. She realized that no other words fit Esther more perfectly. “Are you happy now that you’ve destroyed so many lives?”

  “I’m getting a little tired of all these names you’re calling me. And just so you’ll know, whatever I did, I was always looking out for you.”

  “Stop lying! You didn’t sleep with James for me. Am I supposed to be so stupid that I’d believe that? Are you insane?”

  “Arnell, you’ve never had a realistic thought in your head. Shit happens. The sooner you both realize that, the better off you’ll be.”

  “You are a nasty bitch,” James finally said.

  Esther widened her eyes at Arnell. “You’re gonna let him speak to me that way?”

  “Oh, I believe he has earned the right to speak to you any way he wants. As for myself, I second his sentiment.”

  Esther shrugged. “Fine. I’m not mad at you, Arnell. I know how you are when you’re upset, but none of this changes the fact that James isn’t good enough for you. He—”

  “Who are you,” James bellowed, again rushing at Esther, “to say whether I’m good enough or not?” He had his fists balled up. “You, of all people, can never sit in judgment over me or any human being.”

  “I wouldn’t say that, James. You had sex with me. It didn’t take twenty minutes to get you into bed. You’re just like your father.”

  James raised his fist, knuckles popped, threateningly at Esther. Arnell held her breath. Esther held James’s gaze. She was daring him to hit her. It would give her so much pleasure to call the police on him. The moment was still, the air was tense. Not even the music that was just starting up again far off in the living room penetrated their thoughts. James’s fist was squeezed so tight he began to feel the muscles in his arm spasm.

  Esther taunted, “Show us the kind of man you really are, Mr. Magnanimous.”

  James struck out at Esther, but he pulled his punch at the very last second. His fist stopped within an inch of Esther’s face. She choked on the smoke she had just inhaled. Arnell gasped. James worked his jaw as he lowered his fist and began backing away from Esther. He backed into a table. Turning, he looked down and suddenly swiped a small white porcelain figurine from the table and flung it across the room, hitting the wall behind Esther. The figurine shattered and exploded into tiny pieces.

  Arnell understood perfectly well James’s rage. She was feeling that same rage herself.

  “You will pay for that,” Esther said, trying to sound threatening although her insides were quivering. She wasn’t so much afraid that James had been aiming at her or that he would have hit her, he had better not. It was her angst that Arnell was never going to forgive her that was scaring her.

  “If anyone pays,” James said, “it will be you.” His eyes were wild as tears filled them and spilled over. “My father is a goddamn minister. He—”

  “He’s an adulterer!” Esther shouted, flicking her cigarette ash onto the floor. “He’s the worst kind of hypocrite. He’s a—”

  “Stop it!” Arnell warned, “or I swear, I will make you pay for this myself. And you know I can.”

  Esther huffed and flipped her hand at Arnell, but she did shut up.

  James anxiously rubbed his forehead. His tears flowed. “Arnell, please don’t lie to me about this. Is this the God’s honest truth? Did . . . did you really have—”

  Inhaling deeply to keep from crying herself, Arnell pressed her hand over her heart, but her voice cracked anyway. “It’s all true.”

  “Oh, God,” James moaned, lowering his head. “I feel so dirty. This place . . . it—”

  “Oh, grow up!” Esther spat. “This is a brothel, not a damn church.”

  “She’s right about that,” Arnell said. “Nothing clean, nothing moral, and certainly, nothing religious goes on here.”

  “I beg your pardon. I think the Right Reverend might disagree about that.”

  “Leave my father out of this sordid mess! He’s nothing like you.”

  Esther sucked her teeth. “Spare me! Boy, let me enlighten you about your father, the great man. The Right Reverend was facedown, deep in this sordid mess as you call it. In fact, he couldn’t get enough. He liked having two and three girls at a time,” Esther said, remembering the money he had paid for that privilege which in turn, over the years, paid for her roof and her new kitchen.

  James went to storming madly about the room. “This can’t be true. This just can’t be true.”

  “James,” Arnell said, following behind him, “your father started coming here five years ago. At first we didn’t know he was a minister, but Esther found out soon enough. That was five years ago, James, I didn’t know you then. I didn’t even know that you existed. In fact, when I met you, I didn’t connect you by name or avocation to your father, and really, you look nothing like him.”

  “Thank God,” Esther quipped.

  “How fortunate was that?” James asked, breathing hard from moving nonstop and from being so upset. “Would it have made a difference if you had known I was his son?”

  “Nope,” Esther said, with the kiss of a devious smile on her lips.

  “I wasn’t talking to you!”

  “Well, I—”

  “Shut the hell up!” Arnell glared at Esther.

  “You stay out of this!” James shouted at Esther.

 
“You’re . . . you’re—” He clutched his head and stormed over to the window. “Goddamn it! What the fuck have I gotten myself into?”

  “Yes,” Arnell said, wanting to go to James to comfort him, but daring not, “it would have made a difference if I had known who your father was. I would have never started seeing you. James, if you remember, it was more than six months before I went to church with you and met your parents.”

  “Yes, but I told you about them soon after we met.”

  “No, you didn’t. You told me about your father three months after we met and by then I didn’t know what to do. I tried to stop seeing you, remember? But you kept coming back and I let you because I had fallen in love with you.”

  “You should have told him anyway,” Esther said, lighting another cigarette.

  “Shut up!” James and Arnell shouted in unison.

  “Damn. Excuse the hell out of me,” Esther said, taken aback. This conversation wasn’t going the way she expected. James was supposed to be damning Arnell to hell and Arnell was supposed to be disgusted by James’s whining.

  “James,” Arnell said, emotionally drained, “we can go on forever about this. For me, it’s not necessary. Yes, your father was a frequent visitor to The Honey Well—”

  “The Honey Well?” James asked, perplexed.

  “That’s what men call this place,” Esther said, “the place where they come to have sweet, honey licking sex.”

  Arnell put her hands on her hips. “If you don’t stay the hell out of this conversation, I am going to duct tape your vicious mouth shut.”

  “And I’m supposed to let you?” Esther questioned, her brow raised.

  “You won’t have a choice,” James said, joining in, “and I won’t need Arnell’s help to do the taping.”

  Arnell and James both glared bitterly at Esther.

  Although she didn’t like that Arnell and James were ganging up on her, Esther concerned herself only with the ugly sneer on Arnell’s lips and the hateful glare in her eyes. Maybe she had pushed Arnell too far.

  “Does my father still come here?”

  “No,” Arnell answered. “He stopped after he saw me with you that time you took me to the church.”

  “Oh, God.” James was incredulous. “You knew each other that day and never said a word?”

  “What was I supposed to say? I knew your father from The Honey Well. There is no way to introduce that kind of information to you or your mother in any setting.”

  “Oh, God,” James said, his eyes wide. “My mother.”

  “I’m sorry,” Arnell said.

  “My mother will die if she ever found out about this.”

  “She sure—” The threatening look Arnell gave Esther halted her words. Again, she looked away.

  “James,” Arnell said, “I’m sorry for keeping the truth from you about me. Your father? He has to answer to you and your mother, and, I guess, ultimately to God. As for myself, I’m going to do us both a favor and walk, no, run out of your life.” She felt the tears welling up. “I wish for you the absolute best.”

  James and Arnell held each other’s painful gaze but a handful of seconds, but it was more than enough time for their eyes to tell the other what both knew in their hearts. It was over. It was James who looked away first.

  Arnell didn’t glance Esther’s way as she left the room.

  Esther rushed behind Arnell out into the hallway. “Arnell, you and I aren’t finished. We have more to talk about.”

  Abruptly about-facing, Arnell was on the verge of hurling every obscenity she’d ever heard in life at Esther, but an instant calm came over her when she saw the panic in Esther’s eyes. It was a welcome sight.

  “Sweetie, I know you’re angry with me and you have every right to be,” Esther said, wringing her hands, “but, please, please don’t leave just yet.”

  Arnell suddenly felt that maybe she did have something to say. “Actually, Mother, or should I say Esther? Yes, Esther is more appropriate, don’t you think?”

  Esther searched Arnell’s face. Nothing about her seemed familiar. There was no glimmer of forgiveness or love or pity in her eyes or in her voice. Arnell had closed herself off from her. Esther felt cold. She could feel Arnell’s hatred cloaking her like a bone-chilling frost on a frigid winter night. She needed to stoke the smoldering ashes of their once close relationship. If Arnell walked out on her now, Esther knew that she would be all alone. With Tony gone, there would be no one to care if she lived or died.

  “Well, Esther,” Arnell said, “leaving is the best thing I can do for myself. From now on, I’m doing what you do best—I’m looking out for number one. Besides, I’ve stayed longer than I should have by some sixteen years.”

  “But, sweetie, I am so sorry. You know I’d never do anything to really hurt you.”

  “Geez, Esther, will you always be a liar?”

  “But—”

  “Everything you’ve ever done has been engineered specifically to hurt me.”

  “No, not to hurt you, sweetie, but to keep you safe from men that were only going to hurt you in the long run. They’re all nice and loving in the beginning, but after they get you fooled into trusting them, they turn on you. They lie to you. They hurt you.”

  “My,” Arnell said musingly, “but that sounds so much like what you’ve done to me since I was a child. And correct me if I’m wrong, Esther. You’re the one that put me in the hands of these very men that you say will hurt me in the first place. See, this is my point, you’ve always been my worst enemy.”

  “That’s not true. I’m the only one that loved you, sweetie.”

  Arnell was aware that Esther was getting closer to her. “You call what you have for me, love?” She chuckled bitterly. “Geez, Esther, your kind of love is lethal. And would you, for God sake, stop calling me sweetie. I hate that name. In case you don’t know, it’s supposed to be a term of endearment, not condescension.”

  “You don’t have to be hateful, Arnell. You’re going to need me one day.”

  “Dream on.”

  “You can’t just throw me away,” Esther said. “No one in your whole life, besides me, has ever been there for you. No one, besides me, has ever sacrificed a thing for you. I am the only one that has ever truly loved you.”

  “Oh, well, poor me. How did I get to be so fortunate. Oh,” Arnell said, “I know. I didn’t have a father. I guess if my father hadn’t been murdered by your lover, I just might have had the opportunity to experience love the normal way.”

  Esther felt the muscles in her chest tighten. “I swear to you, Arnell, if I had it to do over, I would have never had that affair with Kesley. It is my fault that your father was taken from you, but that’s why I’ve spent my whole life try—”

  “No!” Arnell threw up her hand. “Do not let another lie slither from between your lips. I couldn’t bear it. In fact, we have nothing more to say to each other.”

  “Arnell, please.” Esther’s nose was starting to sting. “Please don’t hate me.”

  “That’s just it, I don’t.” Arnell saw James finally come into the doorway. He had been hanging back, listening. Before he could say anything to her, she walked out the front door.

  “You’ll be back!” Esther shouted as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Mark my word, you’ll be back.”

  Not on your life. Arnell felt the unbearable weight of Esther’s control lift off her shoulders as she exited The Honey Well. She was finally free.

  Forty-One

  Big Walt was a man of his word. He was waiting in his car for Arnell when she walked out of The Honey Well. He blew his horn. Arnell had never been so happy to see such a strong, friendly face in her life.

  “Are you all right?” Big Walt asked after Arnell had settled back in the passenger seat.

  “I will be.” Exhausted, she let her head fall back against the headrest. “Please, take me home.”

  “You got it.” Big Walt started to pull out. He glanced in the side view and then the rea
rview. He stopped the car. “There’s your man.”

  Arnell quickly looked back. Under the darkening sky, James was standing on the sidewalk looking back at the mansion.

  “You wanna talk to him?”

  Facing forward again, Arnell lay her head back against the headrest.

  Wasting not another minute, Big Walt headed toward Ocean Parkway. He nor Arnell spoke until he merged with the heavy traffic entering the Belt Parkway, which would take them out onto Long Island.

  “I drove that fool, Kesley, to the subway station on the other side of Prospect Park. I made sure that he got on the train heading for the Port Authority. He should be able to get a bus going somewhere, anywhere out of New York. He was a pissed off brother. He said—”

  “Big Walt.” Arnell rolled her head wearily from side to side on the headrest. She didn’t need to know nor did she want to know anything about Kesley Hayden. He was none of her concern.

  “No problem.” Big Walt drove on five minutes more in silence. “What are you gonna do about your mother?”

  “I’m going to see the Brooklyn District Attorney tomorrow.”

  “No shit?”

  Arnell closed her eyes. She was ready to shut Esther down—permanently.

  “That’s deep,” Big Walt said. “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “I need to do this alone.”

  Again they drove on in silence.

  “Do you remember my friend, Ace?” Big Walt asked.

  “I’m trying to not remember him.”

  “Oh, snap. Why’s that?”

  “Big Walt, be for real. I hate to say it but you and your friends stormed Tony’s funeral like you were some tactical goon squad. I didn’t like that scene at all, so believe me, I’m trying to forget anything and everyone involved.”

  “That was the queen’s idea.”

  “Like I didn’t know, but I don’t wanna talk about her, either.” Arnell closed her eyes.

  “Then let’s talk about Ace. He’s not a bad guy and he’s real interested in you.”

  “Tell him not to be, because I am not interested in any friendships, relationships, partnerships, fellowships, in fact, no kind of ships. I’m not in the game anymore.”