Finding Gracie's Rainbow

by Deborah A. Price

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. I wish you would talk about what he did to you.” Jackson stood. “I came to tell you that supper was ready.” He studied her face. “You got some sun today.”

  “I know, I'm feeling it all over.” Gracie stood and followed him out of the bedroom. She walked into the living room and listened as Garrison very excitedly told Annie about his day at the water park.

  “Sounds like you had a ball.” Annie glanced up as Gracie stood there. “Ouch.” She noticed her roommate’s face. She stood and walked over to the table before Jackson placed the chicken on the table.

  “We had a blast.” Gracie sat down at the table beside Bea. “Then we come home and Jackson tries to set the kitchen on fire. He uses my favorite shirt to put it out.”

  “I'm not going to live that down- am I?” Jackson moaned when Bea started to laugh at him.

  “Mom has at least ten favorite shirts.” Bea informed him as Gracie grinned.

  “Oh, she does?” Jackson was watching Gracie as her lips twitched with laughter.

  “She does and in every color imaginable.” Gracie admitted tasting the chicken on her plate.

  After they finished, Gracie started to help clear the table as Jackson looked at her. “Did you finish your work?”

  “I tried.” Gracie was stacking the plates together to take them to the sink. “It's always going to be Bea’s story to me.” She walked over to sink and put the stack down before turning back to him. “How can I give it another title now?” She made her way back to the table as Jackson watched her.

  “Sleep on it,” He studied her. “There’s something else that is on your mind.”

  “What?” Gracie sat down in the living room.

  “You seem preoccupied.” Jackson sat down beside her. “You’ve had that same look on your face since the minute I knocked. . .” He glanced over at her then. “You didn’t think that I was going to hit you. Did you?”

  “No, I didn’t.” Gracie answered him honestly. “I guess I just have a lot on my mind. I have a lot of thinking to do.”

  “Still a bad thing for you.” He tried not to laugh at the expression that was on her face.

  She stood up then. “Not all the time. I. . .” She watched as Bea came running in through the back door and hugged Gracie tightly. She looked down at her with amusement.

  “Garrison is chasing me.” Bea explained as she tried to catch her breath.

  “That’s it!” Gracie smiled as she hugged her daughter. “Thank you.”

  Bea looked up puzzled as Annie and Jackson asked, “What?” They looked at each after Gracie had walked hastily to her room and shut the door.

  Gracie smiled as she saw the new title printed out on the paper. ‘Chasing the Fantasy’. She was filled with excitement and with a renewed energy as she walked back into the living room. “I’m finished now and I need to seriously go for a walk.”

  Jackson was staring at her. “So what is the new title or aren't you telling?”

  “Not telling,” Gracie laughed at him as they walked down the driveway. She stopped at the mailbox, and he looked over at her. “All of a sudden I have all of this energy. I'm excited, and I can't figure out why.” Gracie noticed that Jackson was standing in front of her.

  “It fits you.” He put his arms around her. “I thought we were walking.”

  “We are after you go back to the house and ask Annie, Bea, and Garrison to join us.” Gracie felt his arms pull her closer to him, and she looked up smiling after he kissed her. “Go.”

  “Fine, I'm going.” Jackson walked towards the house as Gracie’s excitement had transferred to him. “Annie, Bea, Garrison. Come on, Gracie wants us all to walk with her.”

  He smiled when he saw the puzzled look on his cousin’s face as she walked to the door with the kids. “Don’t ask, I have no idea.”

  Annie shook her head as she walked to the end of the driveway where Gracie was waiting for them. They walked up the court as Gracie stopped at Kim’s house so the kids could grab their bikes. Kim stepped out of the house with Sammie, and they joined them for the walk.

  Kim scrutinized her sister who was holding Jackson’s hand as they walked. “Why are we walking around in circles while you smile?”

  “Because we all need the exercise.” Gracie looked down at her watch, “And cue the ice cream truck.”

  “Like you don’t have ice cream at the house.” Annie laughed as she remembered that Jackson had brought in ten cartoons of the same ice cream.

  “Just don’t buy chocolate.” Jackson looked over at his cousin.

  “And I've been meaning to ask you- are you trying to move in?” Annie asked him seriously as Kim looked over at them around Gracie who had stopped dead in her tracks.

  “Why would he move in?” She watched as Annie turned around to face her.

  “Because the only thing he doesn’t do there is sleep.” Annie smiled then. “He was cooking supper for us tonight because you were working.”

  Gracie looked over at Jackson, who was just as stunned as she was when Annie asked him that question. “He was cooking supper before he found out that I had to work.”

  “I am so totally lost here.” Kim looked at all of them as Bea circled around them on her bike. “But I do have part of the picture.”

  “He’s only been over every single night.” Annie started walking with Kim as she talked.

  “She really does have a big mouth.” Jackson mumbled as he stood with Gracie, who had felt her excitement vanish.

  “And now I'll have to go through the third degree because I haven’t talked to Kim since Wednesday.” Gracie was frowning. “I'm done walking.”

  “What about the ice cream truck?” Jackson heard the music as he asked her while she turned around to walk down to the house.

  “Just buy some ice cream for Bea and Garrison. They can choose anything but chocolate." Gracie left him standing there and walked into the house to lie down on the couch as she started to think. She picked up the book she had started the night before as Kim walked into the house and frowned at her.

  “Something is going on with you.” Kim looked seriously at her sister as she lay on the couch.

  “Nothing is going on with me.” Gracie glanced up at her.

  “Then tell me what happened at the office this morning.” Kim sat down in the chair facing her. “Don’t try to tell me it didn’t. You had to work this evening.”

  “I had to create a title and a dedication. That isn't really considered work.” Gracie sat up and laid the book on the table. “Why do you think something happened?”

  “Gracie, you're usually pretty honest with me, but I can’t shake the feeling that you’re holding something back from everybody.” She looked at her sister seriously.

  “Mr. Foster found a paper that I had written in that stupid code. I had written the words down below the code, and he read the paper.” Gracie looked at the door. “I don’t want to finish another story just because I was careless enough to leave it lying around.”

  “That’s not what’s bothering you.” Kim studied her hard. “What else happened today?”

  “I just need some space.” Gracie stood and walked around the couch as she looked over at Kim. “Every time I come home, Jackson is either here or on his way.”

  “Have you told him this?” Kim watched as Gracie absently straightened the cushions on her couch.

  “Not exactly,” she admitted as she sat back down. “I don’t want to make him angry.”

  “Because of how Mark treated you.” Kim went and sat down beside her. “Jackson isn't Mark; just tell him how you feel. He isn't going to beat on you because you make him mad.”

  “I have trouble wanting to share my feelings with anybody.” Gracie looked down at her feet.

  “But you need to tell him before you start resenting him.” Kim stood up. “I think I hear the troop coming down the court. Do you feel a little better now?”

  Gracie nodded her head as Bea came running into
the house with strawberry ice cream dripping down her chin. Sammie walked in behind Bea and looked over at her aunt as she heard everything that Annie had told Kim. She glanced down at the book that Gracie had laid down on the table. “Are we reading again?”

  “I always read it’s just normally what we publish.” Gracie turned the book over in her hands after picking it back up.

  She looked up to see Jackson staring at her strangely before sitting down beside her. “I have a feeling that we need to talk.”

  “Later,” Gracie said as Bea came back into the room from washing her face.

  Annie was watching her from where she stood in the doorway. She had asked for tomorrow off because she needed to do a few errands, but if she could draw Gracie out enough to get some information from her, then it will be worth taking less on her paycheck.

  The next day, Annie was sitting at the kitchen table with a file from work open in front of her writing everything that she could remember from when Bea was talking about the time she had spent with her father. She stopped and looked towards where Gracie was sprawled out on the couch reading. She cleared her throat, and Gracie glanced over at her.

  “Gracie, I hate to do this, but I’ve been assigned to Bea’s case and need to ask you some questions.” She had already talked to Susan and was horrified at the same of things that she had learned.

  “I wasn’t there.” Gracie frowned as she went back to the book.

  “You still need to answer some questions.” Annie was hitting her pen on the file as she talked.

  Gracie sat up and placed the book on the table in front of her. “You don’t give up. Do you?” She stood and walked to where Annie was sitting.

  Annie tried to smile at her. “Not if I want to get paid for missing going into the office.” She looked down at the file. “I do feel a need to tell you that these questions date back to when you were married. We can go into the office if you want.”

  “Why?” Gracie asked her angrily as she stared across the table. “And I don’t want to go into your office.”

  “We want to destroy Mark’s character.” Annie looked back down as she tried to use her most soothing voice. “When did you start dating him?”

  “Freshman year of high school,” Gracie watched as Annie penned in her answer. “We were married after I graduated.”

  “When did he start beating on you?” She looked over to study Gracie’s face.

  “After we were married. Where are you going with this?” Gracie had tried for the last nine years to forget about her marriage.

  “I have to ask these questions, Gracie.” Annie stood, walking to the refrigerator to grab some cold sodas. “The next question my boss added because of Susan’s testimony. So please don’t get upset with me and do take your time to answer to the best of your ability.” She placed a soda in front of Gracie before she sat back down. “Are you ready?”

  “Do I have a choice?” Gracie pushed the soda from one hand to other as she waited for Annie to continue.

  Annie sat there trying to figure out a way to say what she had to in a way that wasn't too personal. “They want to know your experiences with having sex with him.”

  Gracie’s eyes shot wide open as she pushed her chair away from the table. “They have no right to ask that. How could they?” Gracie frowned, turning around to see Paige staring at them from the front door. “I'm not going to give them what they want.” She walked out the back door; watching as Bea and Garrison were swinging.

  Paige walked out to the backyard and looked at Gracie worriedly. “She's just doing her job, Gracie.”

  “That makes me want to answer their question.” She said sharply as she frowned. “I don't want to remember.”

  “But you haven't forgotten either.” Paige sat down in one of the deck chairs. “That is the one thing you haven’t discussed with anybody; including me.”

  Gracie looked at her agitated. “I don't want to discuss it now.” Her eyes were wet as she talked and Paige stood, walking over to hug her.

  “I didn't come over to hear about it.” Paige looked over to where Bea was and smiled. “I just wanted to spend some time with you while you were on vacation.” She looked back over at Gracie with concern on her face.

  Annie walked out to them then. “I am sorry.” She looked directly at her. “They just want to collaborate your story with Susan’s.”

  “Seriously, I'm not in the mood to discuss that topic with anyone.” She had emphasized the word anyone as she spoke.

  “Not even Jackson?” Annie asked when Paige looked at them puzzled.

  “Definitely not,” Gracie looked at her angrily.

  “Did I miss something again?” Paige asked as she watched Gracie storm back into the house slamming the door behind her.

  “You might have.” Annie mumbled under her breath. “They're going out tonight.”

  “Really?” Paige raised her eyes as she smiled at Annie. “Oh,” she said as she thought about whatever Gracie was keeping secret.

  “I didn't feel comfortable asking her tell me about it, but I had to.” Annie stared at Paige as she continued. “If she doesn’t give me something to write down, somebody else will pay her a visit to get the information.”

  “I don’t understand why they have to ask her that.” She looked to the door as she talked.

  “They want to kill his character.” Annie answered.

  “His character? It sounds to me like it's more her character than his.” Paige was angry as she thought about what Gracie was probably thinking. “Can’t they just go on what Susan has told them?”

  “I wish.” Annie turned to walk back into the house as Paige followed her. She looked at Gracie who was scrubbing the counter.

  Gracie turned to look at them as they watched her. “What exactly do I have to tell you?”

  “How he treated you.” Annie walked back over to her file and picked up her pen.

  Gracie walked over to the couch and sat down. Just thinking about the way she had been treated was enough to upset her. That was why she had never talked about it before. She looked up at Paige before focusing on Annie. “This is hard.”

  Paige went over and sat down beside her. “It's okay, Gracie. Take your time.” She squeezed her hand as she continued. “Maybe now that your life is moving forward, you should talk about the past to get it out of your system.”

  “That isn't something you forget, Paige.” Gracie focused her attention on her feet. “He would always beat me first.” She was frowning as she talked about it. “Maybe that did something for him.”

  Annie and Paige sat there and listened as Gracie told them everything.

  “I was always too tired to fight him.” Gracie felt the tears stinging her eyes. “I guess you kind of say he forced himself on me.”

  “You never told anybody about what was going on?” Paige asked as looked over at her.

  “I was four hundred and fifty miles away from my family. Mark’s family was Amish, and he took me to their village. There was no phone, no cars, and no way for me to communicate besides mail. I wrote letters home, but I don’t think they were ever sent.” Gracie stood as continued. “I tried very hard to forget what Mark did to me. At the end, his sister noticed that I was trying to do chores with one arm, and that was when Mark's family realized what was going on.” She paused as she looked out the window to check on Bea. “His mother saw all the bruises on my back and by then I had suspected I was pregnant. His mother called his father in, and they decided to get me out of there. They took me to a hospital, and I gave them Mom’s number, so they could call her. The next five months were a blur.”

  “What happened then?” Paige asked as she had never known about Mark’s history. He had told them that he was from Pennsylvania, and that was all the information that he had given to them.

  “He found me when he came back down to his uncle’s house.” Gracie sat at the table with them. “Mark had rented an apartment and made me go with him. That was a week before Bea was
born. There was no phone, so I couldn't call anyone.”

  “Why didn't you just leave?” Annie frowned as she continued to write.

  “He said that if I didn’t go with him that he'd find Sammie.” Gracie looked over at Paige as she confessed. “That was the reason why I agreed to marry him. Sammie was a little younger than Bea is now when he started. . .”

  “Started what, Gracie?” Paige didn't like where this was going.

  “Mark wasn't a good person.” Gracie felt the tears in her eyes as she stood back up. “I didn't want him touching Sammie. I had broken up with him a week before this happened. He saw Sammie at one of those dances where Jackson and I competed. He never went to any of them until that night, and I guess he didn’t appreciate the way that I was dancing with Jackson.”

  “I heard about those dances. Jackson said you could dance better than your brother or sister.” Annie had placed the pen down and looked towards Gracie as she spoke. “Susan had a different story, but the outcome was the same.”

  “Now that you’ve unburied all of that, I'm going to try to forget it again.” Gracie looked at them, not too happy with having told them about herself. “I didn’t like it then. I didn’t want it then, and I don’t want it now.”

  “I wouldn’t tell Jackson that.” Annie said as she listened to her roommate.

  “Why would I tell Jackson anything about it?” She asked as she looked over at her. “I took a vow of celibacy, so there's no reason for him to find out.” Gracie had taken the vow with Kim as an excuse not to get involved with another man. She walked to her bedroom and shut the door leaving Paige and Annie looking at her in disbelief.

  “I never knew.” Paige felt sorry for Gracie as she spoke under her breath.

  After Annie finished writing in her file, she picked it up looking over at Paige. “If I had gone through what Gracie did, I probably would've done the same thing. That does explain why she didn’t want to get involved with anybody. I'm going to put this in my car and lock it up.” She looked at the file and then the clock. “Better yet, I'm taking it to the office. Are you staying for a while?”

  “Sure. Go on, I’ll watch the children.” Paige looked down the hall before walking to the back yard where Bea and Garrison were still playing. After watching them play for a few minutes, she decided to call Kim. What Gracie had said affected her, and she couldn't deny the need to talk to her best friend.