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Patrick Griffin's Last Breakfast on Earth

Page 24

by Ned Rust

So here he was back on Ith away from his family and having no idea when or even if he’d ever see them again. But at least he had heard his mom’s and dad’s voices, and at least had seen a picture of the Twins. They were okay. And he was sure Neil and Carly and Eva and Lucie were fine. That was something, for sure.

  And didn’t he care about Oma and all the others he’d met in the past two days—the poor people in collars and endangered griffins and giants and even Kempton and the big-eyed kids in the school? And therefore wasn’t the only thing now to be aware of—to be awake to—the fact that he might be able to do something to help them all?

  Whether or not it was a dream, he either cared—and showed it by what he did—or he didn’t.

  That was the answer. You cared about others—you gave them credit for being as real as you were—or you didn’t. That was all you could hope to know.

  He sneezed just then, the sickly sweet stink of transcense smoke all over him.

  Which reminded him that My-Chale and Oma had given him instructions to—what was it? He might at last be certain he was awake, but it sure was a very groggy and tired awake. And the sun was so awfully bright. He racked his brain. On Earth he was supposed to call Uncle Andrew and his parents. When he got back to Ith, assuming he came back to Ith, they’d said to—

  The binky buzzed in his pants pocket. He pulled it out and saw Oma’s face in its screen.

  “Remember, My-Chale told you to call the moment you got back,” she said.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I think I’m a little disoriented from all this, umm, traveling.”

  “Kind of like you just woke up, huh?” she said. He couldn’t see it very well but he could hear the smile in her voice, and it felt brighter than the sun on his face.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I have had the good fortune to have made a career in the book industry for—at the time of my writing this—nearly eleven years. If you ever have the chance to join this ancient, mostly impecunious guild, I heartily recommend doing so. People in the book industry are—with a few exceptions we won’t dwell upon here—among the best people on Earth. They are well read. They are articulate. They are funny. They are wise. They are generous. They are self-effacing. In fact, they are SO self-effacing that they have pretty much effaced themselves from the public eye and to this day rarely draw credit to themselves, as is done in movies, plays, musical recordings, or video games. There tends to be but one name associated with a book, the author’s. And most of us go a long time (often forever) believing that one person—the author—has done the vast majority of the work. I don’t mean to be obnoxious in breaking with this genteel vision, but since I’m an author who’s labored behind the curtain and knows that every book in the modern era is a result of at least dozens of people and sometimes thousands of hours—and for what it’s worth buried here in the hindquarters of this manuscript—I’d like to give a Hollywood-style credit-roll to the very many people who took this author’s compulsive labors and made them into the hopefully readable book you now possess.

  Director (editor) Connie Hsu

  Producer (finding of editor, publishing house, legal counsel) Cindy Eagan

  Executive Producers (our judicious financiers) Jonathan Yaged, Simon Boughton, and the Macmillan Finance Team

  Cinematography Jake Parker and Elizabeth Clark

  Strategic Adviser Bart Rust

  Title Inspirer Anneka Rust

  Script Advisers Allison Devlin, Steve Westrum, John Cote, Bill Robinson, Lexi Preiser, Lauren Wohl, Pat Strachan, Maya Packard, Linda Jamison, Fiona Brown, Martha Stillman Otis

  Unit Directors Emily Feinberg and Kate Jacobs

  Distribution The Mighty Macmillan Sales Force and Your Dedicated, Discriminating Local Bookseller

  Location Scouting (finder of exciting places for this book to go) Liz Fithian and the Roaring Brook Publicity Team

  Sound Engineers The Macmillan Audio Team

  International & Licensing Holly Hunnicutt

  Set Design & Production Jill Freshney, Karla Reganold, and Production Teams

  Birthday-Sharer with Mr. Griffin Dick Van Zile

  Mr. Rust’s Hair, Wardrobe, Makeup, & Emotional State Ruth Rust

  Productivity Adviser to Mr. Rust James Patterson

  Caterers Sean Ford, Victoria Stapleton, Craig Young

  Special Interpreters for Mr. Rust Jonathan Lyons, Sean Fodera

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Ned Rust is the co-author of two books in the Daniel X series and Witch and Wizard: The Gift with James Patterson. He lives in Croton, New York, with his wife, son, and daughter. You can sign up for email updates here.

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  CONTENTS

  TITLE PAGE

  COPYRIGHT NOTICE

  DEDICATION

  EPIGRAPH

  PART I: INNOCENTS

  1.  THE BETTER PART OF NEGLECT

  2.  CAT’S AWAY

  3.  WAFFLES REDUX

  4.  FIRST DAWNINGS

  5.  OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA

  6.  UNIQUE QUALIFICATIONS

  7.  A DIFFERENT SORT OF HOMECOMING

  8.  A PLACE OF SENSE

  9.  SORRY, WRONG HOUSE

  10.  SECOND THOUGHTS

  11.  SERVICE OUTAGE

  12.  KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

  13.  DAUGHTERLY SUPPORT

  14.  MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER

  15.  HOUSEHOLD ODORS

  16.  TWINNING

  PART II: INTERLOPERS

  17.  MAPS & ANTS

  18.  ADEPT INTERCEPT

  19.  INTRO TO MODERN CHEMISTRY

  20.  LIFE & DEATH IN THE BUSH

  21.  THE FIRST OF LASTERS

  22.  CRACKIN’ UP

  23.  PAIN IN THE GRASS

  24.  FOUR-CHILD GARAGE

  25.  SANNYTATION

  26.  ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE

  27.  WHAT MEETS THE EYE

  28.  SUNSHOWER

  29.  THE HISTORY OF ITH, V. 12.17

  30.  FIELD OPERATIONS

  31.  THE COLOR CRIMSON

  32.  IXNAY ON THE ODENTRAYS

  33.  BASELINE CONDITIONS

  34.  LOCO PARENTIS

  35.  TALKING TO GIRLS

  PART III: IMPRESARIOS

  36.  SITUATIONAL ASSESSMENT

  37.  A SPY IN THE HOUSE OF PUBER

  38.  YOUTHFUL FOLLOWINGS

  39.  ATTITUDES ON GRATITUDE

  40.  CHILDREN AND FOOLS

  41.  TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM

  42.  BACKUP DRIVER

  43.  BIGGY PACKING

  44.  COURSE CORRECTION

  45.  TO DREAM, PERCHANCE TO SLEEP

  46.  EXECUTIONAL ASSESSMENT

  47.  UNDERGROUND MOVEMENTS

  48.  STAY CLOSE

  49.  HANGING ON THE LINE

  50.  PROVING GROUND

  51.  SIBLING RELATIONS

  52.  SITE SEEING

  53.  TWIN TAILINGS

  54.  THE DREAMER’S DODGE

  55.  POINT OF SOME RETURN

  56.  FOSSE AUX LIONS

  57.  SURREPTITIOUS RETURNS

  58.  REMOTE CONTROL

  59.  MOMMA DON’T PLAY NO GAMES

  60.  LONG-DISTANCE COMMUNICATIONS

  61.  A FLOCK OF GRIFFINS

  62.  SHORT-DISTANCE COMMUNICATIONS

  63.  FOOL ME ONCE

  64.  WAKEY WAKEY

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

&
nbsp; COPYRIGHT

  Text copyright © 2016 by Ned Rust

  Illustrations copyright © 2016 by Jake Parker

  Published by Roaring Brook Press

  Roaring Brook Press is a division of Holtzbrinck Publishing Holdings Limited Partnership

  175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010

  mackids.com

  All rights reserved

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Names: Rust, Ned. | Parker, Jake, 1977– illustrator.

  Title: Patrick Griffin’s last breakfast on earth / Ned Rust; illustrations by Jake Parker.

  Description: First edition. | New York: Roaring Brook Press, 2016. | Series: Patrick Griffin and the three worlds; Book 1 | Summary: “A 12-year-old boy sets out on a crazy adventure through parallel worlds and learns he and a giant bunny are the key to saving the universe”—Provided by publisher.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2015017843 | ISBN 9781626723429 (hardback) | ISBN 9781626723436 (e-book)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Fantasy. | Space and time—Fiction. | Heroes—Fiction. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Action & Adventure / General. | JUVENILE FICTION / Humorous Stories. | JUVENILE FICTION / Fantasy & Magic.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.1.R875 Pat 2016 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015017843

  Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.

  eISBN 9781626723436

  First hardcover edition, 2016

  eBook edition, August 2016

 

 

 


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