Gentle Like the Rain: A Heart's Design Novel

by JoAnn Durgin

  “Of course not. You’re what, five or six years older than Caroline?”

  “Seven. I’m 33, same age as Seth.”

  She nodded. “That’s a fairly significant age difference, especially when you’re in school. And I wouldn’t consider you a bad person by any stretch of the imagination. Bad would be if you’d kicked Humphrey to the curb. But look at you making all nice with him.” Isabella gave the cat an affectionate rub on the head and then tweaked his ears. “Since you work with Bryce at the law firm, would you say you’re closer to him?”

  “In some ways, yes. He’s three years younger than me, and he’s tight with Caroline, as you probably know. I hear a lot about what’s happening with her through what Bryce tells me.” Sidney shifted his position on the bench. “How about you? I know you grew up in California. How many brothers and sisters do you have?”

  A wave of sadness clouded Isabella’s expression.

  “I’m sorry, Isabella. I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries.”

  “No, it’s okay. I grew up in southern California with wonderful parents. I was an only child. My parents wanted more kids, but it never happened. My grandparents all passed away either before I was born or by the time I was in high school. The only family I have left is Aunt Clara, my mom’s older sister, and Clara’s five children and their offspring.”

  “Your mom and dad are gone?” He hated to ask the question.

  Isabella nodded. “They died in a car accident in California when I was in my junior year at UCLA. Head-on collision. They were killed instantly and didn’t suffer. My dad, especially, would have hated being kept alive artificially, and mom would never have recovered if Dad had been taken and she’d been left behind. Their love was rare—based on friendship and a deep faith. They’d been each other’s sweetheart from the time they were in grade school. I don’t think either one of them would have wanted to go on without the other.”

  Sidney reached for her hand. “I’m very sorry, Isabella. I had no idea.”

  She sniffled, her dark lashes damp with her unshed tears. “We deal with things as they come, but the loss devastated me. I walked around campus with this perpetual ache in my heart. Went through the motions of living. My grades faltered, and I let relationships go. Instead of drawing comfort from friends, I pushed them out of my life.”

  Releasing her hand, Sidney gently shifted Humphrey to her lap. “Here. I think you might need Humphrey more than I do right now.”

  She sniffled and hugged the cat, burying her face in his fur for a long moment. “Humphrey’s seen me shed a few tears, haven’t you, sweet kitty?” She glanced over at him. “Don’t go thinking I’m a crybaby.”

  “Not for a minute.” Her tears were beautiful, a part of her, although Sidney hated the reason for them. She’d been through so much, and he’d had no idea. His natural instinct was to pull Isabella into his arms and hold her, comfort her, but he knew he shouldn’t.

  “I finally snapped out of my melancholy and understood I needed to immerse myself in living again. I knew it was the only way to heal. Aunt Clara flew out to California to see me. I considered transferring to a New England college, but by that time, I was anchored in the UC—University of California—system.”

  “Did your faith in God falter after your parents’ deaths?” Sidney wasn’t sure what possessed him to ask such a personal question, especially one about God, but he knew Isabella wouldn’t answer if it made her uncomfortable. She was one of the most giving, generous, and open people he’d ever met.

  “I was mad at Him for a while, but I wouldn’t say my faith faltered,” she said. “It’s like being furious with someone you love. Your love for them doesn’t go away.”

  “That makes sense.” Sidney had the example of his parents’ relationship through the years as a prime example. “You can respect someone yet still hate things that have happened, hate the things they’ve done.”

  “Right.” She lifted her gaze to his. “Sidney, have you ever been introduced to Jesus?”

  “If I say no, does that mean you can’t associate with me now?”

  Humphrey jumped off his lap. Now even the cat was rejecting him. “I’m sorry. Please know I’m not ridiculing your faith, Isabella. If anything, I’m trying to understand it. Of course, I’ve heard about Jesus, but no, I’ve never really known much about Him. Caroline told me this morning she believes that’s one of the reasons I’m here in Evergreen—to explore my faith.” Sidney blew out a sigh. “I think she’s right. She gave me an old Bible that belonged to Seth’s grandfather, and she encouraged me to read it.”

  “That’s wonderful. I hope you’ll take the opportunity.” The way her eyes lit made Sidney want to go back to the house and immerse himself in that Bible. That wouldn’t be the proper motivation, perhaps, but he had to start somewhere. She was right in saying she hoped he’d take the opportunity. That was a conscious choice on his part to make…or not.

  Isabella appeared deep in thought. “What I like to do is live my faith as honestly as I can. I fail all the time. I’m not the poster girl for living a sinless life, but since I moved to Maine, I’ve tried to be more in tune with God’s will.”

  “I wasn’t raised in the church, so I never thought much about God,” he admitted. “He was someone we prayed to on the holidays, but it’s not like He sat beside me at the dinner table. Other than that, I had no idea what any of it meant other than being the means to the end.”

  “The means to an end?”

  “I couldn’t eat until the prayer was said, as shallow as that sounds. We were the classic holiday churchgoers. We’d go to a late Christmas Eve service and then go home and open our gifts. So I’d associate prayer as being the forerunner to something else I wanted more. My dad never had a belief system other than doing what was best for Duncan Prescott.” Sidney sighed and stretched out his legs in front of him. He should have done his cool down exercises. After flexing his calf muscles, he reached down and lightly massaged his right calf. Isabella waited patiently.

  “And then you have my mother who apparently became a Christian a long time ago, but she never told any of us until after Caroline moved here to Maine,” he said. “I always thought that if you loved God, you’d care enough to share your faith, especially with your family. She kept it private, not that I could fault her. Mom had it rough for a lot of years.”

  “Did you ever ask your mom why she never said anything about her faith or why she never took you to church on a regular basis?”

  Sidney’s eyes grew damp and the dull ache in his heart surfaced. “I was pretty close to her in the end, and she shared some things with me.” He ran his hand over his face and sucked in a quick breath. “Because of circumstances in the marriage, my mom had closed up emotionally. I don’t know if you’re aware that Caroline was in a car accident during the time our parents came up here for a visit. That was when she and Seth had just started dating, but they were solid and headed toward marriage.”

  “I didn’t know about the accident. Was she hurt?”

  “Banged up a bit but nothing major. Caroline’s accident prompted my mom to talk about the circumstances of her marriage to dad. That’s convoluted and another story for another day. I suppose you could say that’s when Mom came back to her faith.”

  “Does it give you comfort knowing your mom’s in heaven?”

  “More than I ever thought it would, but I’m not exactly sure why.” Sidney appreciated how he could share private thoughts about his family with Isabella knowing she wouldn’t judge him. He’d never discussed religion with anyone other than his mom, Caroline, and Bryce. Most of his associates at the firm were Catholic, Buddhist, atheist, or outright rejected any form of organized religion.

  “Jesus instructed His followers to share their faith, and it’s what we’re called to do as believers in Christ, but everyone’s journey is different.” Isabella’s voice was quiet. “I’d grown up in the church. I loved hearing stories about Jesus and His miracles. How he loved children
and even His enemies. My story’s not anything dramatic. My mom led me to faith in Christ when I was twelve. We knelt by the side of my bed and prayed the same as we always did, but one night, I confessed that I was a sinner and asked Jesus to come and live in my heart.”

  “It’s special because it’s your story, Isabella. Thanks for taking the time to listen to my story, especially since I know you need to get back to work.”

  “I think God knew you needed this time, Sidney. I think I did, too.” Squeezing his arm, Isabella leaned against him for a moment, her lovely smile back in place. “For once, I’m thankful I didn’t have any customers.” She rose from the bench. “I’d better get back inside.”

  “I’ll come in long enough to pay for the things I forgot this morning, and then I promise to stop stalking you.” Sidney stood up beside her. “If I don’t shave soon, I’m going to look like a mountain man.”

  “I like your company. Stop in anytime.” Isabella tilted her head and studied him. “I kind of like the scruffy look on you.”

  “You do?” He ran his hand over his grizzled chin. “Think I should keep it?”

  She shrugged. “Your choice.”

  “Isabella?” He hesitated, unsure whether he should voice his next thought.

  “Yes?” She paused with one foot over the threshold.

  “Thanks for not trying to push anything down my throat.”

  “It’s not my job to preach. It’s my job to love you quietly and show you by example.” She rolled her eyes and dipped her head as that lovely flush of color crept up her neck and into her cheeks. “I hope you know what I mean.”

  “I’m not sure, but I’ll take it,” he said. “It’s not every day a beautiful woman—a beautiful person—tells me it’s her job to love me, quietly or not. I’m honored.”

  She nodded. “For what it’s worth, Sidney, thank you for pulling me out of harm’s way today. You were quite gallant. Now, are you coming inside or what?”

  “Or what.” Sidney smiled and followed her into the store.

  Chapter 13

  Seth sat at the breakfast table when Sidney walked into the kitchen on Friday morning. His brother-in-law was already dressed for the day in jeans, a short-sleeved red polo, and a casual jacket draped over the back of his chair.

  “Morning,” Sidney mumbled. By contrast, he was still in his sleep pants and T-shirt. At home, he was usually up, dressed, and out the door before seven.

  “Morning. Sleep well?” Seth said as Sidney poured a bowl of cereal and added a little milk. He liked his cereal crunchy, not soggy.

  “Sure did. I’m going to order a featherbed when I get back to Boston.” He carried his bowl to the table and sat opposite Seth.

  “Nothing like them. It’s a good thing Caroline likes them, too.”

  That made Sidney chuckle. “I think that’s a given.”

  Seth grinned. “Your sister doesn’t mince words if she doesn’t like something. Good thing we agree on most things.”

  Sidney figured he might as well get to the heart of the matter. “Look, Seth. I know you don’t like me much.”

  “That’s not true.” Seth raised his coffee mug and took a tentative sip. “I don’t know you well enough to not like you, Sidney. We can remedy that if you’re sticking around. I can tell you one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I like a man who gets straight to the point.”

  “Hazard of the job.” He grinned. “I admire you, Seth. From what I can see, you’ve got it all.”

  “And you don’t?”

  That question surprised him. “I’ve achieved what I always thought I wanted.” Sidney took a bite of the cereal and tapped his fingers on the table. “Bottom line? I’m learning that it’s not enough.”

  Seth lowered his mug and took a bite of blueberry muffin, chewing slowly. “Here, have one.” He pushed the plate across the table. “They’re hot out of the oven and made with wild blueberries grown locally.”

  “Don’t mind if I do.” Selecting one of the muffins from the plate, Sidney took a bite. “Oh, man.” He savored the warmth and rich succulence of the fresh berries. The muffin was loaded with them. “You’re right. This is one of the best things I’ve ever tasted. No lie.”

  “Thanks. I made them fresh this morning.”

  Sidney almost choked on his second bite. “You made these? I mean…more power to you, buddy.” He gave Seth a thumbs-up sign.

  Seth chuckled. “My friend Beverly Landon taught me how to make them a few years ago. Bev’s like a second mom, and she’s a fantastic cook. I stayed at Landon’s whenever I’d come into town, and I was usually the first one in the kitchen for breakfast. One morning, she lined up the ingredients on the counter and basically told me to get busy.”

  “No wonder Caroline married you.” Sidney pushed the last of the delicious muffin in his mouth. “I’d marry you for one of these babies.” He’d need to keep up the jogging routine to work off the muffin, but it was worth the calories.

  Seth grinned. “As long as we’re sharing truths, what exactly is it about your life in Boston that’s not enough?” He took another drink of his coffee.

  “I love the research and the preparation involved for a trial. I love case law. I love when the legal system triumphs. But I’m only as good as my last courtroom victory. Most people tend to have a short-term memory.”

  “That’s true enough in general, don’t you think?”

  If nothing else, Sidney knew the man sitting across from him was fair. The history between his family and Seth’s was ugly. His father had tried to destroy Seth’s father in a Boston manslaughter trial years ago. Yet their two fathers had made peace with one another. Even Seth and Duncan had grown closer than Sidney could ever have expected before his dad’s decline.

  If Seth possessed any lingering anger, he was man enough—Christian enough—not to direct that anger at Sidney. The Christian part of the equation had to be the key. Seth was a good man to the core. Caroline had chosen well.

  “I had a client who got off because of a mistrial fourteen months ago. Blatant jury tampering, open and shut case. But he was guilty.” Sidney took a few bites of his cereal.

  “Do you have proof?” Seth lowered his mug to the table.

  “Not definitive proof, no, but I felt it in my gut. I’d bank my career on it. That’s how sure I am. The client swore up and down he didn’t do it, but he was guilty.”

  Seth met his gaze. “What was the charge?”

  “Embezzlement. Fortune 500 company.” Seth appeared confused, prompting him to explain. “I handle high-profile, white-collar criminal defense now—wire fraud, forgery, embezzlement.”

  “You’re no longer handling the other cases?”

  “No. I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror with a modicum of respect. I switched over to the new caseload a little more than two years ago. I’d like to live to see my fiftieth birthday.”

  Was it his imagination or did Seth appear pleased? “I see.”

  “I guess Bryce never told Caroline. I should have told her. Sorry.”

  “How much was your client accused of embezzling?”

  “A half million, give or take. CFO of the company.”

  Seth whistled under his breath. “That’s a boatload of money.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “After the trial was finally over, did you ask him again if he did it?”

  Sidney shook his head. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hear it if the man confirmed my suspicions. In some ways, I don’t like the man I’ve become, Seth. I can’t respect the man I’ve become. Above all, I want to be a man of integrity.”

  He couldn’t believe he’d admitted that much to a man he barely knew. Yet Sidney knew in his gut that he could trust Seth with the truth. This man was married to his sister. He was family.

  “From what I know, that’s not in question.”

  “It’s not, but I know the truth. Lawyers get a bad reputation because people feel they di
stort reality and, more often than not, protect the guilty. That’s not what I signed on for when I took the oath to uphold the justice system and the laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I swore before the judge—and ultimately before God—to not willingly or wittingly commit any falsehoods.”

  Seth nodded. “You’re having an attack of conscience?”

  “In a manner of speaking yes. I have clients who are innocent, but let’s face it, the majority of them wouldn’t be on trial if their lives were lily white, so to speak.”

  After finishing his cereal, Sidney sat back in the chair.

  “In the case of that particular client, if there was blatant jury tampering, then a mistrial was the proper verdict in spite of the circumstances,” Seth said. “I know it’s a tough one, but other than recuse yourself, you did your job.”

  “The reason to recuse myself is a conflict of interest or impartiality. I said nothing, and so the victory was hollow. I’ve had more than my share of those in the past few years. If the client fee is high enough, I’m expected to take the case, and toss aside my personal convictions of guilt or innocence.” Sidney heaved a deep sigh. “Because I’m the almighty Duncan Prescott’s son, and he was The Shark. Also called The Snake. Take your pick. He went for blood, and he got it.”

  Resting his elbows on the table, Sidney rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes. “I don’t mean any disrespect to my dad.”

  “Even more than Bryce, as the eldest son, you have high expectations placed on your shoulders to carry on the Prescott legacy,” Seth said. “Caroline understands that, and so do I.”

  Sidney raked a hand through his hair. “Bryce was smarter than me in pursuing a different type of law. I used to think I was cut out for the cutthroat cases. Now, I’m not so sure. Caroline always thought I’d make a good prosecutor. There are times I wish I’d taken that route. I guess I’m more drawn to the underdog. The challenge is in trying to get an acquittal or a verdict of innocence. But, what good is it if I wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat? If I constantly suffer from heartburn and have to pop antacids all the time? That’s why I work out so much.” He had a secret fear he’d keel over from a massive heart attack within the next decade if he didn’t do something to alleviate the heavy stress.