Amaranthine (Willow Shadows Book 1)

by Lanie Jacobs

  “I love you, Mom, there is nothing to forgive,” Khalida wiped the tears from her eyes, “I had two women in my life that gave their lives to protect me.”

  “You had a sibling, Khalida.”

  She looked up at her, confusion storming her mind; what would this knowledge change?

  “What happened to them?” I stammered.

  “I don’t know what happened to her. My sister made me promise to separate you two so that if Braedon did find us, she wouldn’t be killed in the process. We found a young couple that couldn’t have children of their own and made them promise not to ever tell her she was adopted. Ann Marie knew your life would never be ordinary, but she wanted your sister to have the chance to live a normal life.”

  Khalida stood there, listening to every word Fatin spoke as she finished her story. Her heart broke for all the pain her family had been through, all because she was marked.

  “This isn’t your fault, Khalida. Your mark is a gift. Never think that way. I don’t want the sacrifice Ann Marie and I made to make you hate yourself. Our sacrifices were made out of love, nothing less, nothing more. We both loved you more than our own lives. My time is running out, Khalida. You have to get back inside yourself, kiddo. I love you,” she spoke softly.

  Khalida clung tightly to her until she faded away with her arms still wrapped around her.

  “I love you, Mom,” she whispered into the air.

  Staring across the way, Khalida noticed the fighting had stopped. Looking around, she saw Luke, Razi, Vega, Josephine and the others standing around her body. Luke was straddling her, kneeling down with his cheek next to hers whispering, “Come back to me, Khalida. Come back to me,” over and over. She glanced around, looking at those that stood around her body. Each of them had cuts and bruises, signs of the battle that had just taken place just minutes before. She glanced back at the war zone in hopes of seeing Braedon’s bloody body dead or dying, but there was no sign of him. Fala and a few other members of the Ubil Coven bodies’ were left behind which Razi had already piled them together and set on fire.

  Khalida watched as Luke picked up her body and carried it to the black SUV that was parked close by. Then she watched Josephine’s guards carefully pick up her mother’s body, gently placing her in the back of a different SUV. Khalida followed Josephine into the back seat where she sat with her mother, supporting her mother’s head in her lap; gently holding onto her while tears fell from her eyes. Josephine was shaking uncontrollably as she wept for the woman she considered her best friend.

  You must go to your body. If you wait too long your soul could become lost. Go Khalida, please.

  But, Mom, I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you.

  Her mother’s voice softly flowed through the air swirling around her. Ignoring her pleas, Khalida focused her eyes out the window, watching the night as they drove back to the house. Pulling into the driveway, she waited for everyone to get out of the vehicle, watching as they made their way into the house. Listening to what they were saying, she overheard Vega talking to Razi.

  “She couldn’t take the pain of losing her mother. Her soul is refusing to go back to her body,” she sniffled, trying to hold back her cries.

  “What happens if her soul doesn’t return?” Vega asked Razi as he cleared his throat.

  “A body without a soul can’t live forever, Vega. She can only be away from it for a short while before she will become lost and unable to return,” Razi spoke somberly.

  Khalida stood there in shock at the words that just came from friends. She could either go back in her body and deal with her life or stay die, but she just wasn’t ready to face the reality of her world, not yet.

  I’m not as strong as they think I am. I don’t want to face what is waiting for me.

  Go now, Khalida. Go. Luke needs you.

  You can’t use Luke to make me do what you want me to do. That’s not fair.

  Whatever works…promise me you will go. Now.

  Khalida knew at that moment she had lost. She couldn’t leave Luke. Not like this.

  I love you, Mom.

  I love you. I always have. I will always be near you.

  There was nothing but silence and the swishing of leaves blowing outside of the SUV. Khalida’s spirit form walked through the house to Luke who was sitting in a chair beside the bed, holding her hand to his mouth. As she came closer, it looked like he had been crying, worry marking his face. His chiseled jaw was set firm as if he was holding back his emotions, determined to hold back tears but unable to prevent the moisture that formed in his eyes. It was too much for her to bear. She couldn’t face a world without her mother, but she couldn’t face an eternity without him. She lowered herself into her body, letting her soul slide back into the place it was supposed to be.

  CHAPTER 18

  Luke

  He sat there looking at Khalida, holding her hand, waiting for her to come back to him. The events of the night replayed, racing images flashed through his mind and anger flared through his bones. They had done well in taking apart the Ubil’s, picking off the members one by one except for Braedon, the one he wanted. Luke was angry with himself for allowing the coven’s leader to escape and letting Fala almost take Khalida’s life. He was so distracted with protecting his mother during the fighting that he had barely made it to Khalida in time to save her.

  Doubt surrounded his mind for the first time in his life. Would he be able to protect the ones that he loved? This feeling was new to him; his usually confident demeanor was cracking at the seams. Too much was on the line, and the weight of the world was held heavily on his shoulders. Khalida’s birthday was just days away, and Braedon was still out there. Luke couldn’t shake the feeling that danger didn’t just lie with the Ubil’s, anymore. There seemed to be a darker, more sinister force lurking in the shadows for the perfect moment to claim the powers Khalida had yet to gain.

  He had to get his mind in the right place, focusing on what was before him and who mattered most. He couldn’t allow these thoughts of self-doubt to overcome him. He wouldn’t allow anything to happen to her, even if it cost him his life.

  He felt her come to life the moment she came back to him, and relief surged through his body. His bond to this female was strong, stronger than anything he had ever known. With his blood running through her veins, the bond was the strongest it had ever been. She was his. Fierce protectiveness circulated in his blood as he stared at the angel lying before him. He knew she would wake when her body was ready. She was healing fast but not fast enough for him. He wanted her to open her electrifying green eyes. He longed to hold her close but fear of hurting her stopped him from scooping her into his arms, so he sat beside her, waiting.

  Why didn’t she tell me about the meeting?

  Thoughts once again entered his mind. He was pissed that she hid the meeting from him, from everyone.

  Why would she do such a stupid thing? Maybe she isn’t ready for me, yet. Maybe I was wrong? If she trusted me she would have told me.

  His eyes narrowed in on her heaving chest. He knew she loved him. He could feel it in their touch, see it in her eyes, and hear it in her heart. The fact that she blocked her mind from him and went to such great lengths to keep it a secret only angered him further.

  Maybe I should back away and give her space until she can sort everything out for herself?

  Luke’s heart skipped a beat and pain seared across his chest, causing him to place his hand over his heart.

  How can I let this female go?

  The truth hit harder than he expected. He knew he loved her with every thought, every breath, but he also knew in the end he could lose her and those thoughts kept him grounded. In his mind, he would protect her with his life and do whatever he had to in order to keep her safe, but he knew now that no matter what, he wouldn’t ever be able to give her up as she had requested weeks ago. H
e would never be able to follow through with it as he once thought; he would not be able to take her life if the Ubil’s captured her. He simply would not ever be able to let her go.

  Khalida was always his heart, but based on the rippling pain that scored across his heart, she was his soul.

  CHAPTER 19

  Khalida opened her eyes to see Luke’s worried blue eyes burning deep into hers. She gently brought her hand up to the side of his face, softly grazing his cheek. The pain that shot through her body was too much to handle as a soft grunt escaped through her lips. Khalida had felt that a Mack truck hit her going full speed as the memories of the night before rushed back into her mind. Her eyes dampened, and she turned her head away from Luke so he wouldn’t see the tears falling down her face, but she was unable to stop the sobs that were now escaping from within. She could fell Luke’s arms wrap around her and his soothing voice whispering to her in a language that was still unknown to her. The sound of his voice and the words he spoke calmed her as he gently kissed her forehead. She buried her face into his neck, pulling him closer, holding him tightly.

  “I miss her,” she whispered softly.

  “I know you do, Khally. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop this from happening,” Luke replied, regret hung in every word he spoke.

  Khalida pulled back, looking deeply in his saddened eyes, “This isn’t your fault,” she tried to reassure him, her heart breaking because she knew he held her mother’s death as his responsibility.

  “I hate seeing you hurt like this. We did everything we could to save your mom, but it wasn’t enough,” his voice was raspy as he spoke, breaking eye contact with Khalida, causing the strings on her heart to pull tighter.

  For the first time, Khalida saw doubt spreading across his face as his shoulders dropped, chest heaving heavily, eventually pulling away from her embrace.

  No way am I going to let him pull away from me, not now when I need him so much.

  “I love you,” was all Khalida said, her words were simple and pure.

  Luke looked at Khalida in silence for what seemed like hours before he finally spoke. His dark blue eyes turned a lighter shade of cobalt, and the doubt that was once present in his eyes was replaced with taunting arrogance.

  “I know you do. I love you,” Luke replied as he ran his hand down her thigh.

  Once, again, his touch sent the ever present warm flood of butterflies throughout her stomach and warm electric streams gliding throughout her body. A smile formed at the edges of his mouth as he realized what the effect of his touch was doing to her, but still not in the mood, he sighed and lifted his hand from her leg.

  “Your birthday is just a few days away,” he said, changing the subject and breaking eye contact as the words left his mouth.

  Khalida’s eyes filled with tears once more as the memory of her mom and the knowledge that this would be her first birthday of many that would be without her. Memories of Fatin soared through her mind as she relived the events that had taken her from Khalida’s life making her wonder if she could have done something different, something that could have saved her.

  “There’s nothing that could have stopped this,” Luke looked at her, “she lived her life, she didn’t hide. We all knew what the consequences of taking a stand against the Ubil’s were and what they might bring. I’m sorry it was your mother but she was brave, even at the end.”

  Khalida’s ears started ringing, and loud voices boomed deep within her head. She covered her ears, trying to ease the overwhelming pain. Closing her eyes, she tried focusing on the sounds that were running through her ears. She heard the blowing of the leaves and the swishing of the trees outside and the soft tussle of the leaves as they blew across the ground, the wind scattering them all about. The loudness lasted a few minutes, but as it calmed, she slowly pulled her hands away from covering her ears. With concern in his eyes, Luke moved to her side as she began to sit up in the bed.

  “You shouldn’t get up right now. You need your rest,” he suggested, slowly pushed her back onto the pillow, making sure he was careful with her as if she were a porcelain doll.

  Khalida looked at him, his heartbeat singing loudly to her, drawing her to him more closely than ever. He laughed softly as she pulled him to her not wanting to release the hold she had on him as her head rested on his chest.

  “Now, you know what I have been going through for months,” he replied smugly.

  “What do you mean?” Khalida looked up at him innocently, still not understanding the depth of what just happened.

  “Your hearing is becoming sharper, so your transformation is nearing its end.”

  “You went through this for months?” she was dumb founded.

  “No, that isn’t what I said; however, what I am saying is that you are hearing my heart beating for you, calling to you in a sense. That’s what happens to blood bonded soul mates. Our hearts call for each other. It was torment for me, having your heart calling for me knowing you couldn’t hear mine reaching out for you. The sound of it draws the other in like you’re lost until you find your soul mate. Even as I sit here, your heart softly calls for me.”

  The sound running through her ears pulled to Khalida but she was lost, she only wanted to be near him.

  “When we are apart, I feel your heart calling for me, pulling me towards you. I can feel if you are scared or hurt just through the beating of your heart. That’s how I found you last night. I heard you getting further away from me but I assumed you were still on the premises, just getting some air. All of a sudden, it was gone, too far for me to reach. I went looking for you and didn’t get worried about finding you until I could feel that you were scared. It scared me. I didn’t know if I could find you before it were too late.”

  Khalida said nothing as he spoke, she just listened to the sound of his heart, and it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. He gently brushed his lips against hers, pulling her away from his chest. She could hear the pace of his heart beat as it peaked during their kiss and a slow smile escalated across her face.

  “Don’t look so smug.” he said arrogantly, as he smiled, “yours is about to pound out of your chest.”

  She laughed as he looked at her, his eyes dancing, laughter threatening to pour from him.

  “I worry about you, Toot.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she murmured as reality slammed back into her mind, again, like waves crashing against the embankments of the ocean during a hurricane, “I just need some time,” were the only words she could manage to muster.

  “Don’t push me away, Khalida,” he said softly, placing her hand over his chest.

  She pulled her hand away not wanting to have this discussion with him, at least not at this moment. All she wanted was everything to go back to being normal and to have her mother beside her. Khalida didn’t want her transformation to happen. She didn’t want to be the reason for anyone else to get hurt. She rolled over, forcing some much needed distance between the two of them. Luke silently rose, and all she heard was the door closing behind him as he left the room. Finally alone, emotion escaped as she sobbed uncontrollably, burying her face in the pillow.

  How many more people will get hurt because of me? I can’t allow anyone else to get hurt because of me.

  Thoughts swirled through her head, rippling and tearing away at the confidence she once held. One thing was painfully obvious, she had to be stronger, and weakness was no longer an option. She had to get prepared for the show down that she would not be able to avoid. She had to figure out a way to get her head on right, and she had to do it without losing Luke in the process.

  CHAPTER 20

  The next couple of days flew by for Khalida as her new future took hold. She distanced herself from everyone in the house, including Luke. She trained with Razi and Luke by night, growing stronger as each day passed. As she trained harder, she withdrew more and more. Luke patiently
waited for her to come back to him. He could feel her through their bond. Khalida was taking all her anger and pain and throwing it into her training. It was the only way she could release everything that she was keeping bottled up inside of her. He knew determination drove her like a moth to a flame. Khalida didn’t know much at this point in her life, but the main part of the Ubil clan was still out there, that much she was sure of. She no longer had desperation or fear dwelling inside of her as she grew stronger. There were moments of peace and a feeling that Braedon was far from her, but there was always a darkness lingering in the background, and she was sure whatever it was taunted her with its presence. Her birthday was less than a week away, and she had little time to get prepared to battle whatever darkness was coming her way.

  Sleep wasn’t much of an option, anymore. Khalida’s body became so tired she would just collapse from exhaustion. Most nights she would lie awake at night, staring up at the ceiling, reliving the moments of her mother’s death over and over until she felt she was on the verge of going mad. Khalida could feel Luke, knew he was calling for her, but she would shut out any attempt he made. There was just more to lose than she was willing to give up, Luke being the most important thing that she could lose, and that was a loss she was not willing to wager against.

  As the days went by, Khalida’s abilities enhanced to the point Razi was even amazed with them. Her agility was rock steady and she carried a strength that even impressed Luke. Her ability to handle knives was what Razi called on kill target and she found them to be her favorite of all weapons. She was even strong enough to take on Vega which surprised not only her, but her best friend as well. Defense moves were drilled into her mind from the beginning but as time passed, she found being the attacker came natural as she stalked her intended victim, preying on them before they realized she was no longer defending herself but taking control in a calculating and aggressive manner.