And lastly were the shims from Brody. There were two more from him in addition to those from last night. I deleted them without reading any, and sent a simple shim stating that I was okay. I received an immediate reply: He needed to see me. I ignored it. It’d be a smarter move to set myself on fire than spend time alone with Brody. Sadly, my gut disagreed.
Two hours later, I was sweating my ass off at the high-end fitness center where Alexei had purchased our memberships. Fitness centers were free of charge to all One Gov full citizens since everyone had to log a mandated number of fitness hours per month, but you could pay for more upscale facilities if you could afford it—so much for equality for all.
Apparently jumping back in after a week’s break wasn’t my brightest idea, and I struggled through my workout. Working out on Mars was different from Earth. With the lower gravity on Mars, pure weight training was impractical. Though weights were modified to suit the environment, in some instances you could potentially end up with a bar holding so many weights, it was awkward to lift. Out of curiosity, I’d once asked Alexei how much he could bench-press on Mars and he honestly didn’t know; he’d run out of space on the bar to add more weight.
On Earth, I’d done the absolute minimum needed to meet One Gov’s mandated requirements. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that on Mars and expect the same results. Also, since I’d started seeing Alexei, working out was something we could do together. I hated the monotony of it, but gods, I enjoyed watching that man sweat. I alternated between machine resistance band training, weighted running, and yoga. Yoga was also boring, but I liked my improved flexibility— something Alexei appreciated too. I’d never been more bendy in my life, and he took full advantage of it.
Now, however, I had a stitch in my side and thought I might throw up as I fought with the resistance elliptical. I probably shouldn’t have pushed myself, but it beat sitting at home, worrying. Being unemployed meant I had more time to devote to my list of things to fret about. When I finished agonizing over one problem, I could move to the next, then repeat as needed. At least at the gym I was too exhausted to give the list my full attention.
Once I’d inflicted enough pain and suffering on myself to cover some of my fitness shortfall, I hopped off the elliptical and hit the sanitize setting. I had just enough time for a quick blast of the sonic cleaner in the change room before heading home to prepare for Belikov’s arrival.
As I wandered through the rows of machines, something familiar caught my eye. On the last row of resistance runners, sprinting full-out like a madman and barely winded, was Brody. Didn’t he have things to do with the Consortium members arriving today? I wondered if Alexei knew he was there, then stopped wondering about anything as I watched Brody on the machine.
He wore one of those zero resistance thermal suits popular with runners. It cut down on wind shear, vented excess heat, allowed the body to reabsorb moisture lost during sweating, and prevented muscle fatigue. It also left nothing to the imagination as the light blue suit hugged his body like a second skin. I could clearly see the muscle definition as he ran, his arms pumping back and forth, his legs working against the pushback of the resistance bands.
He was leaner than Alexei, lacking the bulk through his shoulders and chest. Then again, Alexei was built like someone’s idea of what a god should look like, so it was hard to make a comparison. Even so, Brody was nice eye candy on his own. I could see his muscles work and the strength in his body. Watching him now helped me remember other things I’d forgotten about him. Not just physically, but as a person. He had a sense of humor and playfulness Alexei lacked, or rather, rarely showed to others. He knew how to enjoy himself and how to have fun. Yes, he was driven or he wouldn’t have started his own business, but he didn’t let it define him or overwhelm the rest of his life. Case in point, he was at the gym when he should have been at work. I couldn’t help but be amused by that, even if him being there felt a little too coincidental.
I sighed inwardly and made my way over to his machine. I had to see him sometime. It may as well be now.
“Hey, stalker. Get out much?”
“Before you say anything else, I swear this isn’t how it looks.”
I looked at him dubiously. “Really, because it looks like you’re stalking me.”
“Well, I took a chance in the hopes you might be here, but I wasn’t sure. I went by your shop first but it was closed, and it’s not like I can barge into Alexei’s house. The Consortium has memberships here so I thought I’d log some time before checking back in with work.” He turned off his machine and let it slow to a stop. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Didn’t you get my shim? I’m fine.”
“I know, but I wanted to see for myself. I’m glad I made the effort,” he said, his eyes roaming over me in much the same way mine had him a few minutes ago. “I have to admit part of me enjoyed watching you sweating and panting for breath.”
Ah hell. I blushed like a stupid teenager. Annoyed, I bit the inside of my cheek as if the pain might help me focus. “Shouldn’t you be working on whatever Alexei hired you to do? The Martian Princess is docking at the space elevator as we speak. Why aren’t you dealing with that?”
Brody waved it away. “Not part of the job description. I’m only here to worry about interactions with One Gov’s queenmind. If your boyfriend has a posse of pissed-off Consortium coming down on him, that’s his issue.”
I frowned. Pissed-off Consortium? That wasn’t how Alexei had described it. “Is he in trouble?”
Brody looked uncomfortable. “I don’t confess to knowing all the ins and outs but not everyone’s happy with the new agenda he’s pushing. He may have a power struggle on his hands.”
New agenda? I knew he’d canceled some projects I hadn’t been comfortable with, but hadn’t really thought anything more about them. If Alexei was in trouble, why hadn’t he said anything? Or maybe he didn’t know. Was this the Eight of Thorns repeating itself? That wasn’t supposed to happen. Or had I misread the cards entirely? No, impossible. I couldn’t be that wrong.
“Do you think that’s why Belikov is coming to Mars? Does he want to remove Alexei from power?” I asked aloud.
“I have no idea. Understanding Consortium politics is beyond my pay grade. Belikov would have been en route to Mars long before I appeared on the scene so who knows what the man is thinking,” he said with a shrug. “Honestly, I’m not really interested in talking about this with you.”
That brought me up short. “I didn’t realize I was boring you. Sorry for wasting your time. I guess I’ll see you around and let you get back to something more exciting.”
Annoyed, I was about to whirl away when he stepped off the machine and stopped me.
“Felicia, don’t. I’m sorry. You know that’s not what I meant. I don’t want to talk about Consortium plots with you or speculate on Alexei’s future. I want to talk about us.” He sounded frustrated, miserable, and like he wasn’t even sure where to begin. “What happened between us the other sol…I can’t forget it. It meant something. You know it did.”
“It doesn’t matter what it meant. It was a mistake and it shouldn’t have happened.”
“You know that isn’t true. You know how much I wanted it. How much we both wanted it.”
And there it was again, that future with Brody where everything could be perfectly laid out and I never needed to be worried or afraid if only I just listened to my gut. Instead I backed away from him. “Stop pushing me to admit to wanting something that ended four years ago. You need to back off. I can’t deal with you on top of everything else.”
“You kissed me first, if you’ll recall. Did you tell Alexei that part, or did you tell him anything at all? Are you being honest with either of us?” he asked. The words were as harsh as was his tone. I winced because he was right and that hurt—I was lying to everyone, including myself, and he knew it. We both did. “Nice ring, by the way,” he threw in as if it was an afterthought. “He certa
inly knows how to send a message, doesn’t he? Mind if I asked when he proposed?”
I felt my anger threaten to boil over. “That’s it!” I hurled the words as I stomped to the change room. “I’m not getting into this with you.” I felt like throwing my water bottle across the gym. I slammed open the change room door instead and nearly hit a woman in the face, much to my embarrassment. Guess I had a temper after all.
I hurriedly used the sonic cleanser, changed clothing in a flash, and barely swiped at the hair escaping from my sloppy ponytail in my rush to leave. This was bullshit and the more I thought about it, the madder I got. I wasn’t supposed to have doubts or be confused about who or what I wanted. And I certainly wasn’t supposed to want someone other than Alexei. How the hell had I allowed this to happen? Why was I being pushed in a direction I shouldn’t want to go?
I hurried from the fitness center, focusing only on the Consortium flight-limo parked curbside. The sooner I was inside, the sooner I could put this messed-up situation behind me.
When I saw Brody waiting, I quickened my pace, trying to breeze past him even as he moved to intercept me.
“Felicia, calm down. Let me apologize. I never wanted it to be like this.”
I whirled on him. “Gods, you’re ruining everything! This has to stop. I’m not your damn girlfriend anymore!”
Then I froze when I saw what he held in his free hand. My gym bag fell to the sidewalk, unheeded.
“Is that what I think it is?” I whispered.
He held a black metallic box. It was scuffed and dented, the closing latch was gone and the carrying strap was missing, but it looked enough like my case that I had to question it. He opened the lid, showing me the contents. I stepped closer. Inside were my cards—Granny G’s deck—looking none the worse for wear.
I gasped softly and reached to touch them. Brody held the case as I scooped them out. Then I counted them, looking over their backs with the hypnotic spinning void and their faces with pictures of knights, wizards, and princesses. I even smelled them. They smelled a little charred actually, but a nano-dip could easily clean them up. The relief I felt was so staggering, I needed to sit. Brody must have sensed as much because he took my arm and led me to a nearby bench.
Just like that, my anger disappeared. “Where did you find them?” I breathed.
“I saw Mannette’s live-feed and went over the explosion site before the MPLE arrived. I wanted to see if I could find any evidence as to who did it.”
“And did you?”
He shrugged. “Your cards were under a pile of debris that escaped the fire. It’s amazing they survived. I know you have plenty of decks, but I also know these are special.”
I fanned out the cards, turning them this way and that. “I didn’t know what I was going to tell the family,” I confessed. “No one thinks I deserve them. And if I’d lost them…” I shivered, feeling a touch of panic again.
“When I watched you walk into that disaster last night, I thought my heart would stop. I thought you were going to die, and in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared before. To see you enter that nightmare and know there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening…Please don’t ever do that to me again. You’re more important than any deck of cards.” He reached up to stroke my cheek, a touch I didn’t flinch from.
“I’m fine,” I said, looking from the cards, up to him. “Thank you, for this. I…Just thank you.”
He grinned at me, his thumb still stroking my cheek. “Don’t mention it.”
I put the cards back in their case and took it from him. His fingers lingered on mine, tightening and holding my hands when I tried to pull away.
“Why aren’t you at your shop? There weren’t any lights on when I stopped by,” he said.
“Alexei suggested I close it for now. He’s worried people are targeting me to get to him.”
Brody nodded. “That’s probably one of the smartest things he’s done, though I’m guessing it made you pretty mad.”
It had, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. It wasn’t appropriate to bash the current boyfriend to the ex. No, not just my boyfriend. My fiancé, I reminded myself even if the word felt foreign as I turned it over in my brain.
“I have to go,” I said softly. “Alexei wants me with him when the Consortium arrive. I need to get ready.”
In response, he helped me rise from the bench, bent down to retrieve my gym bag, and walked me to the waiting flight-limo. A chain-breaker stood by impassively, with the flight-limo door already open for me to climb inside. Brody looked him up and down, shaking his head ruefully. Then he put my bag inside on the bench seat.
He leaned in close, his lips near my ear. “Be careful, Felicia. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”
“You don’t need to worry. I’ll be fine. Thank you again for the cards,” I murmured.
He caught me by the shoulders before I could pull away. “Sorry, but I don’t think I can stop worrying about you.”
His lips brushed my cheek then and he paused, his cheek resting against mine. I stiffened, not sure what to do or what I wanted to happen. Yet all he did was stand there with his cheek on mine, so close, all I could see, feel, and smell was him. Every time I breathed in, I could taste him. It made me remember how I’d once thought I’d never be able to get enough of him. My gut kicked me, urging me to reach out and taste him again. I didn’t, but gods, I was tempted.
“I don’t think I can stop wanting you either,” he whispered.
“Brody…I can’t do this. I’m engaged to Alexei.”
“I’ve tried to forget you, but I can’t. Tell me you want me too. Anything, Felicia. You wouldn’t have kissed me like that if you felt nothing.”
“I…Damn it, yes. I feel something. I don’t want to, but I do.”
His sigh ruffled my hair. “I hate that I walked away from you on Earth or that I let you go even for a second.” He pulled back enough to look down at me, brushing loose strands of hair from my face. “You should consult your cards. Would they say I should have stayed and fought harder for you? Have you ever checked?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “I’ve checked.”
“And what did they say?”
It was like he could see into my thoughts and knew what we could have had together. Could still have, actually. Did he know how much everything in me was pushing me toward him? Well, almost everything. I looked up at him, wordless.
“I guess that’s an answer, isn’t it?” he said, and brushed his lips along my hairline.
I stepped away. “I have to go. Alexei will be waiting for me.”
Like a coward, I dashed into the flight-limo. The door closed behind me and I slouched in my seat, taking a shuddering breath of Brody-free air. Wistfully, I watched him through the tinted windows. He did the same, staring into the window as if he could see me. Maybe he could. He continued to watch as we ascended into low-street orbit. Even when we were halfway down the street, I looked back and saw him still watching. How did I keep this thing with Brody from overtaking me? How did I turn off the part of me that wanted to go back to him?
I had no idea.
Chapter Sixteen
Since I didn’t know what one wore to a crime lord reunion, I decided to err on the side of more formal versus less. I also figured black was the way to go since it helped with blending into the background. Unfortunately, I owned all of two items in black. I had an annoying tendency to want to stand out—too much time spent playing over-the-top Tarot card reader probably. One was an evening gown with a plunging neckline—no. Absolutely not. The other was a long-sleeved lace dress. The last time I’d worn that had been Granny G’s funeral, so it wasn’t exactly the most stylish thing I owned.
I felt like I was going to a funeral anyway so I went with the lace dress after I had the wardrobe AI run it through a refresh cycle. It hit mid-thigh and was a little big on me, but not so much it was noticeable. I added a pair of strappy black heels
with the double advantage of being comfortable and making my legs look amazing, and kept my jewelry to a minimum. Except for the engagement ring, of course. That was enough jewelry by itself. I styled my hair poker-straight and went for dark, dramatic makeup. By the time I was done, I would have passed muster for attendance at any memorial service in the city.
I’d pulled Granny G’s cards from the travel case, frowning at their smell. There wasn’t time to send them for a nano-dip before the weekend. Hopefully no one noticed the stink. Still, I spread them over Eleat, hoping they’d air out.
With the few minutes I had to spare, I grabbed a random Tarot deck from my cabinet and laid a quick spread—what did the arrival of the Consortium mean for Alexei and me? I pretty much got what I expected from my final card, Nine of Pentacles, reversed: Plans gone astray. Deals made in bad faith, trickery, and deception. And there was the King of Swords again, my calling card for Konstantin Belikov, sitting in the center of things, spinning lies and spreading deceit. Not quite the Eight of Thorns from yesterday, but not much topped that card.
What I didn’t expect was the Knight of Cups, showing up as an outside influence, again. I’d always associated that card with Alexei, probably because the Knight represented a lover who wouldn’t hurt me even if things ended badly. Now I suspected it was Brody. I would have liked to do another reading for clarity, but there wasn’t time. I hurried to meet the waiting flight-limo. A short ride later, I was dropped off at the unloading platform at the elevator’s base—a floating construct in the middle of the Utopian Ocean.
I paused to gaze at the nanotube cable that ran from the platform up into space, and felt a rush of vertigo. Even though the sky looked ominous with the threat of rain, I could still see the cable stretching upward and disappearing into the darkening clouds. I’d come to realize I didn’t like heights. Living in a sky-scraping condo hadn’t bothered me, but looking at a cable reaching into infinity unnerved me.
The Chaos of Luck Page 21