All for This

by Lexi Ryan

  Frowning, I reposition my gown and sit up on the table. “What do you mean, refer me? I want you to be my doctor.”

  She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. “I can’t do that. Not in good conscience. Even if there weren’t other concerns about your pregnancy, the fact that you’re pregnant with twins is enough of a reason for you to see a high-risk doctor. Add to that the less-than-ideal health you were in when you got pregnant and I think it would be best for you to be in the hands of a specialist.”

  I feel the blood drain from my face. “You think there could be something wrong with my babies.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying.” She places her hand on top of mine. “I’m just saying I want you to have the best care possible. You have enough to worry about. The quality of your prenatal care shouldn’t be on that list. Shall we set up your appointment for you?”

  I nod. “Okay.”

  Nix grins. “Don’t look so glum! You’re in your second trimester—this is as good as it gets. The morning sickness will go away, and the worst of your breast tenderness along with it. You’ll get your energy back. Enjoy it. Do you have any questions for me?” She looks back and forth between Nate and me.

  “Not right now,” I say.

  “You can get dressed, then. I’ll see you out front.”

  I wait until she leaves the room before turning to Nate, and I find him staring at me.

  “May I walk you home?” he asks.

  “Sure.”

  Without being asked, he turns around while I get dressed. We make our way up front, bundle into our coats, and step outside.

  “I have to leave in a couple of days,” Nate says after we’ve walked a couple of blocks. “Collin misses his mom, and I need to take care of some things in LA.”

  “Oh.” I shake my head, trying to make the disappointment scatter. He sends texts to check on me, but it’s not like we’ve been spending time together over the last few weeks. I guess I just found his nearness a comfort. “How long will you be gone?”

  He shoves his hands in his pockets, and his breath puffs out like smoke in the cool air as he exhales. “A couple of weeks at least. I’ve been away too long, and I need to take care of some things if I’m going to spend time here after the babies are born.”

  I draw in a breath. “You’re going to spend time here?”

  We’re outside my bakery, but he stops and turns to me, tilts my chin up with his fingers. “When I say I’m going to be in their lives, I don’t just mean I want my name on their birth certificates. I mean the dirty diapers and the sleepless nights.”

  “It’s just…not convenient.”

  “Worthwhile things rarely are.” His eyes go hooded, and his hand doesn’t leave my face.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  His gaze drops to my lips. “You.”

  I swallow. “What about me?”

  “How much I want to kiss you.”

  My heart stumbles. Because I want him to kiss me. And I shouldn’t.

  “Do you remember my kisses, angel?” He skims his thumb over my lower lip, and something churns in my belly—hot and low and hungry.

  “I remember.” My mind instantly conjures a catalogue of kisses. Outside the club, the cool air on my face, the brick against my back. In his pool, my naked body pressed against his. On his bed, his dark eyes intense as he slid into me for the first time.

  He lowers his mouth until it’s just above mine, his breath warm and sweet against my lips.

  “Don’t.”

  He groans so low I can hardly hear it. “You want me to.”

  “You promised you wouldn’t until I asked,” I remind him.

  His mouth moves to my ear, and his lips graze the sensitive shell as he speaks. “You’re going to ask, Hanna. We both know you’re going to ask.”

  “We can’t be lovers.”

  “What can we be?”

  “Friends.”

  “NOW YOU can open your eyes.”

  I do as my mother says and find myself face to face with…an open field. “Okay…”

  “This land is for sale. I thought you could build your house here.” She picked me up from the bakery, and we drove for thirty minutes. Out of New Hope and into stretches of cornfields that are conveniently located near more cornfields.

  “Where are we?”

  “Just a little drive outside of New Hope, but isn’t it beautiful?”

  “I don’t have any money to build a house,” I say cautiously.

  “Well, sure you will—after you and Max get back together and you get married. You’ll have your trust fund. I can just see you building out here, raising the babies in it, having a big yard for them to run in, and you can host dinners and we’ll all drive over to see you.”

  I burst into tears, but it feels more like I’m smacked upside the face with them. “I don’t want anyone to have to drive to see me,” I snivel. “I don’t want to live in LA and I don’t want to live in the middle of a bunch of cornfields half an hour from my family. I want to live in New Hope. I want to be there when Abby starts dating and when Maggie has babies. I want to be here to watch Lizzy’s preschool turn into the best preschool for miles and when you get old and senile.” I draw in a ragged breath. “I don’t want to leave. Is there something so wrong with that?”

  Mom’s face softens. “No. There’s nothing wrong with that at all.” She draws me into her arms and strokes my hair. “Nothing at all.”

  “I’m not going to get back together with Max,” I say. “I can’t marry him. It’s over.”

  “What? Why? Is this about that rocker? Are you going to be with him?”

  “No. Yes.” I shake my head.

  It’s been weeks since I gave Max his ring back, and he’s been as wonderful as he ever was before. He’s been helping at the bakery while I’ve been doing interviews to replace Liz, he’s brought me groceries when he thought I might be too tired to shop, and two nights ago, I caught him applying non-skid surface to the stairs to my apartment. He’s sweet and wonderful. The terrifying months waiting before me would be so much easier if he were by my side.

  “You still love him,” she says into my hair. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”

  I pull out of her arms and take a deep breath. “I need to ask you a favor, and I want you to consider it before you say no.”

  “Okay.”

  “Max is the silent partner for my bakery, and I want to buy him out. He’s trying to get custodial rights to his daughter. He needs the money.” If he had the money, he might be able to hire more help at the club again, and he needs time more than he needs anything else. Sam and Will have been helping when they can, but that only goes so far. “Could you give me access to my trust so I can buy him out? I’m not asking for any more than that. Just enough to buy out his portion and pay off the mortgage on the building.”

  She studies me for a minute then shakes her head. “I would if I could, but those trusts were established by your father. We’d have quite a court battle on our hands if we wanted to go outside his terms, and we’d probably lose.” She sighs. “I know this is important to you, and I’m sorry I can’t change that.”

  My eyes burn with tears. Stupid hormones. “It’s okay. I’ll figure out another way.”

  THE NIGHT is gorgeous. The stars twinkle on the river and the moon bathes Asher’s backyard in a soft glow. Maggie and Asher have been in New York together the last week, and they’ve invited us all here for an early Thanksgiving gathering.

  Nate’s been gone for nearly four weeks, and I keep finding myself wandering around the party, looking for his face. I know he’s coming back to town soon because he said he’d be back in time for my ultrasound next week, but every time I scan the faces in the crowd, I come up empty.

  “We want to thank you all for coming,” Asher announces to his guests. “We’re thrilled that you could come on such short notice. You see, this isn’t just any party. We wanted you to celebrate with us.” />
  “Go ahead,” Mom calls. She’s practically bouncing in her seat. “Tell them your news.”

  Asher and Maggie exchange looks, and Liz says, “Holy shit. You’re pregnant too?”

  Maggie laughs. “No. That’s not it. But”—she sticks out her left hand toward the small crowd—“we’re married.”

  “No way,” Liz breathes, and then, suddenly, everyone is clapping and cheering, and Liz and I are rushing toward Maggie to hug her.

  When I get my turn, I squeeze her tight. “Congratulations. You deserve this.”

  Maggie returns my hug. “I’m so happy. I never thought I’d get to be this happy.”

  “We want details,” Liz demands.

  Maggie beams. “We were in New York visiting Zoe, and Asher took me to this gorgeous little vineyard upstate. He had everything arranged—the flowers, the location, the photographer. He said he knew I was afraid of weddings because of…well, you know…but he didn’t need a big crowd. He just needed me. If I would have him.”

  Tears spill from my eyes because I can picture everything she described, and as much as I would have loved to be there, I also know that Asher gave Maggie exactly what she needed.

  “What did you say?” Liz asks.

  Maggie looks at Asher. “I said, ‘I do.’”

  Before long, music is playing, drinks are flowing, mounds of food cover the buffet tables at the back of the house, and Liz and I have found our spots near the dance floor in the basement where she has access to the bar and I can more easily do my pathetic crowd-scanning thing without being obvious.

  “Hey, Liz,” Sam says, running his eyes over her in her black dress. “That dress looks terrible on you. Want me to help you out of it?”

  “You wish,” she grumbles.

  He grins and dips his head to her ear to whisper something I can’t hear. Whatever it was makes her smile despite herself, but she shoves him softly and says, “Go hang out with your boys. I’m talking to my sister.”

  When he’s gone, I raise an eyebrow at Liz. “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on there?”

  She crosses her arms and frowns. “Nothing. It’s Sam.”

  I sigh. “Well, if you aren’t going to use what he’s offering, can I borrow it?”

  “No,” she snaps. Her eyes track Sam across the room.

  Holy crap. I think Liz has a thing for Sam. And not just an “I’d fuck him” thing. An emotional thing. Where have I been?

  Some emotion I don’t recognize flicks over her face before she pastes on a smile that would probably fool anyone but me. “I mean, I think you could do better, but go for it.”

  Not a chance. Not when my twin is giving him the hot-and-needy eyes. I don’t need Sam anyway. Just sex.

  I sigh. “I’ll find someone else. Why did no one ever tell me how horny being pregnant makes you? Because this is ridiculous.”

  “Seriously?” Liz snorts. “You’ve got two sexy guys who’d kill to climb into bed with you and you’re going to complain to me about being horny?”

  I wave away her objection. “Too complicated. I just want sex. A lot of it. As often as possible.”

  “You called?” a deep voice says behind us.

  I turn and find myself staring into Nate Crane’s intense, brown eyes. Holy cow, he’s sexy, and the way he drags his eyes over my body makes me want to strip off his clothes, crawl on top of him, and take exactly what he’s offering. What was I saying about complicated?

  Nate nods toward the dance floor and offers me his hand. “You owe me a dance, angel.”

  Mute with longing, I follow him and let him pull me into his arms. He’s warm and his chest is solid against my cheek. He smells so good it makes the muscles between my legs clench.

  “God, I missed you,” he murmurs in my ear.

  My stomach flip-flops. “You shouldn’t say that.”

  “What? I can’t miss my friend? Are you going to tell me you didn’t miss me at all?”

  Only every other second and the ones in between. “A little, I guess.”

  “How are you feeling?” he asks against my ear. Then I can feel his lips curve into a smile as he adds, “Other than painfully horny, that is.”

  My cheeks burn. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

  “Maybe I’m glad I did. Maybe I wanted an excuse to talk my way into your bed.”

  I bite my lower lip. Hard. Because I would gladly take him up on that—even if I know I shouldn’t. And it’s not just because pregnancy has left me as horny as a teenage boy at prom. It’s because it’s Nate, and I know a little bit about what would happen if I let him talk his way into my bed. But I’d like to know more.

  “We can’t,” I protest lamely, because apparently my brain has conquered my girly bits in the battle for control of my speech. “You know that.”

  WHEN I walked into the party tonight, she was the first thing I saw. In a black dress and bright red heels, she’d catch any man’s eye. With her belly rounding with my babies, I could hardly see anything else.

  I brush a lock of hair behind her ear. “All I know is that we’re two consenting adults who want and love each other. All I know is that you’re having my babies, and I’m going to be part of your life from here on out, whether you want me or not.” It’s one thing if she doesn’t want to be with me, but I’ll be fucking damned before I let her fantasize about screwing some other man just to get off. “Come with me,” I say, taking her hand in mine. “I need to show you something.”

  She narrows her eyes. “What?”

  I don’t answer, but she doesn’t argue as I lead her away from the party and up two flights of stairs from the basement to Asher’s second floor.

  “Nate,” she says, the warning apparent in her voice as I lead her into my bedroom.

  “The balcony,” I say, pushing the doors open.

  The night is balmy and the cool air nips at my cheeks, but I needed to get her away from everyone else. I needed to get her alone.

  Her shoulders relax a bit as she walks to the rail and settles against it. “It’s beautiful tonight,” she murmurs.

  There she stands. Gorgeous and framed by moonlight that shimmers on the water and stars that spread out across the black sky.

  “Stunning,” I whisper. Coming up behind her, I place my hands on the railing on either side of her. “And so are you.” She stiffens slightly, and I graze the side of her neck with my lips—not kissing exactly, but definitely pushing the limits of her “friendship” rules. Damn, she smells good. Like vanilla and lavender. But I want her to smell like sex and me.

  She’s so fucking beautiful in that dress—a black thing that shows off her curves and ties above her rounding belly. It’s grown in the weeks that I’ve been gone, and since I walked into the party half an hour ago, all I could think about was getting her alone and tugging on that bow, getting my hands on what waits beneath.

  “What are you doing, Nate?” she asks, but even as she says it, she’s tilting her head to the side and giving me better access to her neck. Hell yes.

  “I’m trying to help a friend,” I whisper against her ear, my hand finding the tie in the front of her dress. “You said we’re friends, right?”

  She stiffens slightly.

  “Don’t overthink this, Hanna. Just relax.” I tug on the tie, and she gasps. The dress loosens and opens.

  “We shouldn’t,” she says as my hand closes over her breast.

  “Are you asking me to stop?” I pinch her nipple, and she moans, arches into me. I release her breast and trail my hand down her body, circling her navel.

  “Didn’t you say you weren’t going to do this unless I asked?”

  “I said I wouldn’t kiss you unless you asked. I didn’t say anything about putting my hands on your body.”

  “You don’t play fair.”

  “Fuck fair. For you, angel, I’ll play downright dirty.”

  She places her hand over mine and guides it farther south until my fingertips are brushing the satin ba
nd at the top of her panties. It’s all the permission I need.

  Sliding my hand into her panties, I find her wet and swollen. “Is this what you need?”

  I roll her clit between two fingers, and she gasps. “Please.”

  “I’m the only man for this job. Do you understand?” I release her clit and cup her softly.

  “Nate, please.”

  “Please what, angel? Tell me.”

  “Touch me,” she whimpers.

  “I don’t want anyone else touching this body,” I growl, sounding and feeling more possessive than I ever have in my life. The idea of her fucking Max, the idea of him inside her, his hands on her body—it’s enough to make me crazy. “No one but me.”

  “I don’t want anyone at all,” she objects, but her body betrays her and she rocks into my hand, begging for more.

  “But I think you do.” I run a finger along her clit, my touch light, more a tease than a gift. “I think you want me very much.” Then I slide my fingers inside her, and she’s so wet and so tight that my cock aches.

  She lets her head fall to the side. I kiss her neck and play with her breasts as I fuck her with my fingers, making her mine in this simple way.

  “Tell me you don’t think about me when you’re alone in your bed,” I whisper. “Tell me you don’t imagine my cock inside you when you’re getting yourself off.”

  With a soft moan, she rocks her ass back, grinding against my hard-on.

  “I’ll tell you what I think about. I think about my face between your legs. Your clit under my tongue.” Taking her earlobe between my teeth, I suck hard, showing her exactly what I’d like to be doing to her clit, and she comes, her pussy pulsing tight and hard against my fingers.

  She turns in my arms, and the movement pulls my hand from her panties. Her teeth are sinking into her bottom lip and her eyes are still dark with lust. “Thanks, I think.”

  I raise a brow. “You think?”

  She bites back a smile. “I don’t want to encourage you.”

  “I don’t need any encouragement to get you off, angel.” I slide my hands down her back to cup her ass. “Just permission. Let me take you home. Let me…” I stop the words before they can leave my tongue. Let me make love to you. “Let me fuck you, Hanna.”