EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

by Debby Conrad

  “Undress me,” he said, and waited for her to respond.

  It seemed like such a simple request, and yet she hesitated. Swallowing nervously, she raised a hand then lowered it just as quickly.

  Griffin found both her hands, pulled them to his waist. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  Wanting to believe him, she tugged the T-shirt from the waistband of his jeans and wrangled it over his arms and shoulders, and finally his head.

  She buried her face against the corded muscles of his chest, loving the feel of the crisp hairs against her cheek. His skin was hot. He smelled of soap, sunshine and male. The three scents blended into one, pleasing her senses, and driving her wild with need.

  Griffin took her hand, placed it on his erection. “Hurry. I’m dying to be free so I can be inside you.”

  The bulge in his fly terrified her, and yet she still wanted him. She felt the heat of him seeping through the soft denim. Finding her way to his belt buckle, she nimbly managed to open it, and pulled the belt through the loops. The belt dropped to the hardwood floor with a clang. The snap of his jeans was a little trickier, and she was about to ask for his help when it finally popped open.

  All that was left was his zipper.

  Cautiously, she gave it a tug and pulled back when she heard him moan. Whether it had been pain or pleasure, she wasn’t sure, until he begged her to continue.

  “Please, Hollin, don’t stop. You’re killing me.”

  Once again, her fingers found the zipper tab and eased it down with a metallic scratching sound. Griffin released his breath with a long, suffering sounding sigh.

  With both hands, she jerked his jeans over his hips, and watched as he kicked them aside, his socks coming off as well with his efforts. She couldn’t help but notice his erection, covered only by the thin cotton of his boxers, jutting straight forward.

  Her emotions twisted and churned from within. As eager as she was to explore, she was even more afraid. Tentatively, she gave his boxers a quick tug, and down they went, his penis springing upward as if reaching out to her. Standing there, she stared at it, totally unaware of what emotions she wore on her face. It was like facing her worst nightmare, and yet deep in her mind, she knew she had nothing to fear.

  “Hollin,” Griffin said, “look at me.”

  She met his gaze with reluctance. Part of her wanted to run from the room and never look back, the other part of her wanted to finish what they’d started.

  “Griffin, I’m not sure I can go through with this.”

  “Hollin, it’s me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “I know, but--”

  Not giving her time to complete her sentence, he dipped his head and kissed her. The touch of his lips sent an instant shock wave through her entire body, and she found she was amazed by the way she responded to him. Her hands ran up and down the length of his hard chest, his back and shoulders, although she was careful not to touch him anywhere below the waist.

  His own hands explored her body as well, and there didn’t seem to be any part of her that was off limits to him. Pulling her even closer, he kissed her with much more urgency than before. She felt the heat of his naked skin pressed to hers, and his erection pushed against her belly.

  He ran his hands over her butt and along the backs of her thighs, spreading her more open. He pulled his mouth away from hers long enough to say, “Touch me,” and then he kissed her again.

  She knew what he wanted, where he wanted to be touched, and she wanted to touch him. Really, she did. But her hands wouldn’t move of their own volition. And then his finger pressed into her and she moaned with pleasure, totally distracted with her own selfish needs. In and out he went, spreading her moisture to her most sensitive areas.

  “You like that?” he asked, tearing his mouth away from hers.

  Hollin nodded her response, hanging on to him for fear she might lose her balance.

  “Then you’re going to love the feel of my cock inside you.”

  That was all it took to push her over the edge. “Griffin.” His name came out on a whimper. Once she was able to breath again, and her head began to clear, she moved back a few inches.

  “Hey, where are you going?” he asked, refusing to totally let go of her.

  “I want to look at you. All of you.” She could tell he was straining for release, and she felt guilty about all the times this man had pleasured her, and she’d never given him anything in return. Slowly, she reached out and stroked him. Not just once but several times. The way he reacted, the way he looked at her, was as if she’d given him the greatest gift he’d ever received. “It’s so smooth,” she said. “And so big.”

  He tipped his head back and laughed. “You certainly know how to flatter a man.”

  She’d never heard him laugh before, and the sound of his laughter warmed her from the inside out. Coming toward him, she peppered his skin with tiny kisses, being sure to tease his hard, flat nipples. Then, bending slightly, she trailed a path down his abdomen with her tongue, circling his navel, and moving lower still.

  Her tongue sought out the head of his erection, touching the velvety tip and tasting the salty liquid, which had escaped. Griffin cried out, then quickly pushed her away.

  “Jesus, Hollin. I can’t take anymore.” Together, they moved to the bed, and Griffin sprawled atop her. “Brace yourself,” he warned, then entered her swiftly, the length of him filling her all at once.

  Her body tensed, and something inside her tried to fight him off. Placing her hands on his chest, she gave him a push to no avail. He was still inside her, his face just inches away from hers.

  His face was all hard planes and angles, his eyes practically burning into hers. She closed her eyes, wishing him away, at the same time, trying to forget about the night she was raped. She told herself this was different, but fear, raw and cold, began to bubble toward the surface. “No,” she mumbled. “Please, no.”

  “Hollin, open your eyes.”

  She didn’t know what made her listen to him, but she did. Breathing heavily, she peered up at him.

  “It’s me. Griffin.” He took several panting breaths. “I’m going to move now. I want you to wrap your legs around me and hold on.”

  She tossed her head back and forth. “I can’t.”

  “Yes you can, baby. Come on now. Stay with me.” He’d barely finished talking when he pulled out several inches then thrust back into her.

  She had no choice but to wrap herself around him and hold on, just like he’d asked. And then he did it again, and again, his movements gaining speed and intensity.

  Her world felt as if it were tipping off its axis, spiraling out of control. But her desire for him overrode everything else. She wanted him, wanted more of what he was giving her. “More,” she whispered, feeling as though she’d been hurtled beyond the point of no return.

  He must have sensed the flames within her for he smiled down at her. “I can’t hang on any longer. Come with me, Hollin,” he cried. She felt his release just as she, too, let go with shuddering ecstasy.

  Seconds later, he collapsed against her. His heart beat strong and hard against her ribs, his breathing erratic and harsh.

  After a few moments, he nuzzled her neck and cheek. “Are you okay?” he breathed.

  Hollin gave a moan of pleasure and squeezed him more tightly.

  He lifted his head, eased some of his weight from her. His expression looked serious. “You realize I didn’t wear a condom. I didn’t protect you. I totally lost control at the end. I’m sorry, Hollin.”

  It was something she hadn’t even thought about, until he mentioned it. What had she been thinking? And then it hit her. She’d been so wrapped up in her emotions, she’d totally forgotten about common sense.

  “Do I have reason to be concerned?” she asked, running a fingertip along his jaw. It was rough with beard stubble.

  “Not about disease,” he said. “But I’m assuming you’re not using any type of birth control, or a
re you?”

  She blinked. “No. I’m not.”

  He nodded once. “You’ll let me know if . . .”

  “Of course.” But it was something she refused to think about at the moment. She had enough to deal with. She’d just made love for the first time in her life, and it felt wonderful. She also realized that her feelings for Griffin were more than just sexual desires. She was actually falling in love with him, and the thought terrified her more than what they’d just been through together.

  She didn’t want to love him. Because deep in her heart she knew it was impossible for him to feel the same way. He’d basically made his feelings for her very clear. They were strictly of a sexual nature, the same way he’d felt when he was nineteen. She sighed quietly. When was she going to learn to stay away from this man? Not listening to the warning voices in her head could only mean one thing for her. Heartache.

  #

  Griffin rolled off her, pulled the covers around them both and snuggled close. The smell of sex lingered in the stale air around them.

  Hollin looked deep in thought. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

  She nodded and tucked the sheet under her chin. Griffin propped himself on his elbow and angled his body to see her more clearly. He smoothed the hair away from her face and stared into her eyes. “Are you worried I may have gotten you pregnant?”

  “No.”

  “You’re not worried? Wrong time of the month?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “So, there’s a chance you could get pregnant.”

  “Yes, but it’s highly unlikely after only one time. Don’t you agree?”

  Griffin raised a brow. Hollin was so naive. However, if anyone was to blame, it was him. Had he been with any other woman, he never would have touched her without using a condom. But he’d never wanted anyone as badly as he’d wanted Hollin, and after she’d placed her sweet mouth on his cock, it had taken every ounce of strength he had not to explode. At that moment, all he could think about was plunging deep inside her.

  She was tight and wet from her recent orgasm, and she’d felt like warm maple syrup. He was secretly glad for the chance to enjoy her with nothing between them, but he had no intention of sharing that information with her.

  And what if he had gotten her pregnant? Just how would he feel about that? He’d never had any intention of becoming a father. The thought almost made him laugh. What the hell did he know about such a thing?

  Before he had a chance to explore his feelings further, Hollin touched his cheek, and asked, “Are you concerned that I might be pregnant?”

  “Of course, I’m concerned.”

  “Oh.” A look of disappointment crossed her features, and dropping her hand from his face, she averted her gaze.

  “What? You don’t think I should be concerned? You’re upset because I am?” “I’m not upset.” Yet she still refused to look at him.

  He ran a hand through his hair and released a breath. “Can you imagine? The whole idea is totally ludicrous.”

  She glanced up at him, her gaze dancing across his face. “I don’t understand. Tell me why you think it’s ludicrous.”

  Did she really want him to spell it out for her? “You and me for starters,” he said, pointing a finger first at her chest, and then at his own. “And then throw a baby into the mix.” He forced a chuckle. “Can you imagine what people would say?”

  She lifted her chin a notch. “I don’t care what people might say.”

  Her comment hit him full force. “Are you hoping you’re pregnant?”

  She didn’t answer at first, and he felt thwarted by her hesitation. Not that he could explain why. He could tell her mind was going in a million different directions as if she were still weighing the answer to his question. Then she finally said, “No. Although I do want marriage and babies . . . someday.”

  Something inside him snapped, leaving a raw sore on his open heart. “I see. Someday,” he said, repeating her. “But not with me.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to.” When she opened her mouth to say something, he stilled her with a hand. “Don’t worry, princess. Marriage and babies are the furthest thing from my mind. It’s actually a relief having a sexual relationship with a woman who isn’t thinking of me in terms of a husband, or worse yet, a father for her child.”

  “Can we please not talk about it anymore?”

  “Sure,” he said, still annoyed. “Why don’t we talk about the weather instead.” With a noisy sigh, he let his head fall to the pillow. He had no idea why he was so angry. Did it have anything to do with her not wanting his baby, he wondered.

  There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments before Hollin spoke. “Maybe I should go.”

  When Griffin didn’t make any move to stop her, she slipped from the bed and began to gather her clothing. But watching her naked body go through the motions of getting dressed was doing weird things to him. He loved her soft curves and her creamy white skin.

  She had dimples low on her back where her ass began to round. Unable to tear his gaze away, he swore silently. He wanted her again. How ridiculous was that? This woman who as a teenager had accused him of raping her, who now as a woman was obviously worried she may be carrying his child, and he didn’t want her to leave.

  He sat up. “Hollin, don’t go.”

  Dressed only in a white bra and white, bikini panties, she stood frozen in place for several seconds before turning around to face him. “Give me one good reason to stay.”

  “I was acting like an ass.”

  She didn’t argue.

  “You confuse me, okay? I don’t know what the hell I want. But can’t we just enjoy it for whatever it is?”

  Apparently not, he thought as he watched her push her arms into the sleeves of her blouse. “Hollin, you’re being ridiculous. I don’t even know why you’re angry at me.”

  Her facial features softened. “I don’t know either. But you still haven’t given me any reason to stay.”

  Lowering the sheet, he directed her gaze to his erection. “Is this reason enough?” he asked, and laughed when she dropped her slacks to the floor and climbed into bed beside him.

  “Can I be on top this time?”

  “I thought you’d never ask,” he said. “And this time, I promise to wear a condom.”

  She didn’t argue with him. Instead, she lowered her head and kissed him thoroughly.

  #

  He stood outside on Wells’s deck, watching them through the patio door. They were naked and sweaty. It was disgusting. Hollin threw her head back, smiled, and rode that piece of trailer trash like a cowboy riding a bucking bronco. The slut.

  All these years, he’d thought he was the only one who had been inside her, and now he knew for certain he was wrong.

  For all he knew, Griffin wasn’t the only man she’d been fucking, either. She could have been getting it on with lots of guys in Boston, all the while pretending to be the innocent he’d believed her to be. The stupid, lying bitch!

  She belonged to him, and no one made a fool of him like that and got away with it. She was no different than Rachel. She’d used him, too. Not that he cared. He didn’t give a damn about her. The girl had no scruples whatsoever. That bitch would fuck anything with two legs.

  But Hollin was different, or at least he’d thought so. Until recently. She’d been sneaking around with Wells since she’d come home for the funeral. Had even gone to work for the bastard. Talk about sticking a knife in his heart.

  Well, he’d had about enough.

  Worrying he was going to be sick, he moved away from the door, pressed his back to the house and took several, deep breaths. He stared up at the sky and focused on a passing cloud, willing his stomach to settle.

  He was confused. How had Wells convinced Hollin he hadn’t raped her? And after all this time? He wanted to know, had a right to know what the asshole had told her to change her mind.

  And he intended t
o find out. Right before he killed her for betraying him.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Hollin paid for her mother’s prescription and was about to leave the drugstore when she noticed Sara MacDougal standing in one of the aisles. Hollin made her way toward her. “Hi, Sara.”

  Sara looked up, surprise registering on her face. “Oh, Hollin.” She fumbled with the bottle of shampoo she was holding, then returned it to the shelf, knocking over two bottles in the process.

  “Here, let me help,” Hollin offered, standing the bottles upright.

  “Thanks. I’m just killing time before my next class.” Her hair had grown in the weeks since John’s funeral, and the short auburn curls helped to soften her features.

  “So you’re still in school?”

  “Yes. I have no idea what I want to do when I graduate. I’m majoring in business, but we’ll see.” She hiked her backpack higher on her shoulders.

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough.” Hollin glanced at her watch. “I don’t have to be at work for another hour. Do you have time for a cup of coffee?” Griffin had said he would meet her at the office at ten this morning.

  “I . . . uh, actually I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  Hollin smiled. “That’s okay. Maybe some other time. Anyway, it was nice seeing you.” She started to walk away when Sara stopped her.

  “Hollin?”

  Hollin pivoted around to face her.

  “Coffee sounds nice.”

  The Coffee Clutch was located in a shopping plaza directly across the street from the drugstore. They walked over and got a table by the window. The waitress quickly filled their mugs and then flew off without bothering to ask if they wanted anything else. Like one of the delicious looking pastries they’d seen in the bakery case when they’d entered. The smells were enough to make a person drool. Hollin hadn’t eaten any breakfast, and her stomach growled in protest.

  The place was decorated with eclectic artwork and furnishings. On one wall was a mural boasting hundreds of tea cups in brightly colored patterns. And each of the six tables had mismatched chairs encompassing them. A little busy for her taste, but charming in an odd sort of way.