“Second best friend, but now’s not the time for semantics. Char, it’s not your fault. It would have happened eventually. It’s probably a good thing this happened before they got married. Dan isn’t talking much about it but you’ve got to know that he felt terrible about not asking you to stay when Lauren asked you to leave. So, I don’t think that’s someone who is upset with you or blames you for anything. They’ve always had problems. You know that.”
She sniffles and nods. I don’t quite think she believes me but she’s not full out bawling like she was. So I take it as a step in the right direction.
“Okay, let’s get you cleaned up. You look like Alice Cooper. Then we’ll order some pizza and drink some wine. Sound like a plan?”
Her smile is weak and watery but it’s still a smile. “Always,” she says.
I end up staying the night with Charlotte. I just don’t want to leave her like that. I know she’s blaming herself.
We both had the next day off so we spent it shopping which was very therapeutic. Char’s weakness is shoe shopping so she ended up with a couple pairs of heels. They were very cute and will easily make here over 6’ while she wears them. I, however, am in need of a whole different part of my wardrobe. We make a stop by Victoria’s Secret so I can pick up some new lingerie.
When Charlotte asks why I’m buying it, I just tell her that it makes me feel confident and maybe that confidence will help me snag a man. This is all technically true but I’m only hoping to snag Eric. I just leave out the part about the man being Eric.
I’ve been texting with Eric all day and we made plans to meet for dinner tonight. I’m kind of freaking out about it.
After we leave the mall, Char and I go our separate ways. I head home to get ready for my first official date with Eric. I kind of wish Char knew so I could get her to do my hair and makeup. Maybe I could tell her I’m dating someone but I could be vague on the details.
I opt for casual this time. I’m wearing a pair of skinny jeans, sandals, and a striped sleeveless swing top. I complete my outfit with a turquoise stone pendant necklace. I put on a little makeup and I braid my hair. Normally, I’d add a cardigan to my look, probably yellow, but it’s hot as shit outside and I’m not going anywhere near cashmere. The only reason I wear them to work during the summer is because it’s freezing in the office.
Eric picks me up at my apartment and we head to the restaurant. We’re in a different part of town that I don’t usually come too. It’s really quaint and cute, though. We head to the Italian restaurant that Eric made reservations at. It’s family owned and operated and a bit smaller than the chain restaurants but it’s so much better. I honestly shouldn’t have eaten so much pasta because I’m stuffed. Like the kind of stuffed where you just want to wear sweatpants and lay around the house. Does that ever happen to anyone else? No? I guess, I should learn more about this thing called portion control.
I let Eric in on my current state of fullness and he just laughs without judgment and says that he is also just as stuffed. He pays even though I argue that it’s my turn. He just says I can get it next time.
Once we’re walking to his truck, he grabs my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I’m so incredibly happy right now that I don’t know what to do with myself. You know the feeling of a new relationship? Everything is fun and exciting. With Eric, I have that feeling and I have a feeling of comfort because as it turns out, I know him very well. I must have been subconsciously paying attention to him all these years. He definitely knows me well. I want to ask him why he paid such close attention to me but I decide that it can wait.
We’re seated in the truck but we haven’t left the parking lot yet. I have my face right in front of the air vent because like I said earlier, it feels like a furnace. Summer in Texas is not for the faint of heart.
I look at Eric with a dreamy look on my face because the air is ice cold and it feels so good. Eric, however, looks a bit nervous so I sit up straight. I guess I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop so I’m a bit on edge anytime he looks unsure about something.
“What’s wrong?” I ask while simultaneously hoping he’s not going to dump me because he doesn’t like the way I stuff my face or maybe I’ve started to annoy him which has been the case in more than one of my break-ups. I’m an acquired taste.
“Nothing’s wrong, Mace. I was just wondering if you’d like to come over to my house. We’re close by and I thought since you’ve never been there before you might want to check it out. But we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can just drop you back home if you’d like.”
He’s so cute when he’s nervous, I can barely stand it. I scoot over towards the middle of the seat so I can be right beside him. I give him a kiss on the cheek. It’s not sexy but it’s affectionate because I feel very affectionate towards him right now.
“So that’s a yes?”
“That’s a yes.” I smile.
He was right about his house being close by. The neighborhood behind the restaurant is where he lives. We turn onto the road and there are older yet charming homes lining the streets. They have nice sized yards and they actually have full grown trees on their property because the houses are older. The neighborhood is built around one of the large lakes in our town. I find myself mesmerized by all of these adorable houses. This is exactly the type of neighborhood that I love. We pull up to a pretty house with grey siding and, I shit you not, a wrap-around porch. The house has obviously been updated but the charm is still there. But I can’t get over the beautiful porch and the swing!! I’m out of the truck as soon as it’s in park. He hops out and comes up to me.
“This is your house, right? I’m not just running up to a stranger’s house like a crazy person right?”
He laughs, “Yes Macy, this is my house.”
I hop right up on the porch and plant my ass in the swing. I’ve decided I’m not moving from that spot. I’m sure the rest of the house is fine and dandy but this swing is all that matters to me.
“How often do you sit out here? Do you wave at your neighbors walking by? Why haven’t we been having our BBQs at your house all along?”
“I actually don’t sit out here at all. It’s not so much fun by myself but now that you’re here, I think it will be nice.”
He sits down beside me and we swing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
“I never really invite anyone over because ever since I bought the place it’s been under construction. It took so long because I did most of it myself. It’s finally complete now. I just have to finish painting some of the rooms. I’ll have to show you some before and after pictures, it was a mess before. Do you want to go inside?”
“Do we have to? I kind of want to stay here forever.” I sigh.
“I like the sound of that. He pulls me close and kisses the top of my head.”
We stay on the porch for a long while until the mosquitoes start making their appearance and I reluctantly agree that we should go inside. The inside is gorgeous. The marble counter tops in the kitchen and the exposed beams in the den are just two of my favorite things. The details in the house are gorgeous. His furniture could use a little work as it’s totally bachelor pad type furniture but I must admit he has a good eye when it comes to the design of the house.
I’m a little in shock that he did this all himself but mostly I’m shocked that it’s the reason he never invited us over. While he is a private person, he explains to me that he would never want to keep any of us out of his private life. We are his private life and he just wanted his house to look nice before he brought us over.
We decide to watch a movie on Netflix but before he starts it he asks if I want to wear a pair of his sweatpants so I can be comfortable after all of that Italian food. I’m half in love with him already and this just pushed me over the edge. I don’t know what to do with myself and I feel a little silly since it’s because of something like sweatpants.
I take him up on his offer and I
change into the sweatpants. They’re way too big but still a lot more comfortable than my skinny jeans. I changed in his room which has a nice king size bed. I kind of want to jump on the bed but I refrain and return to the living room.
I am probably the least sexy I’ve ever been in my life but the way he looks at me makes me feel like a million bucks. I no longer feel like a potato or like I’m in the shadow of someone else. I guess all it took was for someone to finally see me.
We cuddle on the couch while we watch the movie and soon enough I fall asleep. I probably need to do a sleep study or something, I may be narcoleptic. I’ll keep you updated if I start falling asleep in the grocery store or something like that.
I’m still off work the next day because I had taken some extra days off to detox from my trip to Mexico. I wake up to find myself in Eric’s massive bed. He must have carried me in here or I’ve started to sleep walk, which honestly sounds like something I’d do. Eric comes back into the room just as I’m sitting up. He comes over to me and kisses me good morning. It starts out soft and slow but quickly escalates and these sweatpants do not stay on long.
It’s a pretty great way to start my morning. I don’t think anything could ruin my good mood. And luckily nothing does. We have a fun day together. We eat breakfast and then go for a walk outside. I know, right? I willingly go for a walk outside. He must have spiked my eggs with energy pills or something. Something will really be wrong if I start going for runs with him. That’s when you probably need to alert the authorities because I’ve obviously been bodysnatched.
We decide to go to the animal shelter after lunch. Once we’re there they bring us to the kittens and I immediately want them all but I decide to just get one because even if I do end up as a crazy cat lady, I feel like it’s better if it’s a slow build. Eric is holding a smoky grey kitten with white feet and a white kitten with grey feet. They’re exact opposites and so adorable. It’s just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Eric’s this big strong man holding these tiny little kittens and smiling so big it’s almost blinding.
“I think we should get these.” He says.
I’m a little taken back when he says “we” and also when he says he wants to get both of them.
I decide to get the kittens that he likes so much. How could I not? He probably would have ended up with them if I hadn’t gotten them anyways.
Now comes the hard part. The names. It takes all afternoon but we finally decide on Bonnie and Clyde.
Eric wants me to stay the night again but I have to work the next day and I also worry that we’re going to rush things even more than we already are. But I only use the first one as an excuse. My feelings for him are so sudden and intense that I’m worried that they’re one-sided or that it’s all an illusion. I’m afraid something’s going to happen and he’ll go back to being the asshole he’s been the past few years and I desperately don’t want that to happen. I can actually see a future with us. He’s pretty much the best guy I’ve ever dated. I would have never known that if I hadn’t looked a little deeper. When I first saw him I thought he was attractive, sure, but I also thought he was full of himself and an asshole. But a second glance showed me that he’s kind and gentle. He’s a good friend with a big heart. I want my second opinion of him to be right. I don’t know what I’d do if I was wrong.
Before I leave, he asks if he can keep Clyde for a little while and of course I agree because a man with a kitten melts my heart. At least, that man with that kitten does. So Bonnie and I make our way home all while missing our guys.
For the next few weeks, we spend our time alternating between his house and my apartment. We see each other pretty much every day but only stay the night together on the weekends because I have to work and he mentioned that he was busy with work stuff during the week as well. I find it odd since as far as I know he places ads on his social media channels and that’s how he makes money but he’s proven me wrong about a lot of things recently so I try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Now that I think about it, though, his phone which was once glued to his hand has been glaringly absent from most of our time together. I check his Instagram account and notice that the last time he posted was of the selfie from Dan’s BBQ. That’s a long time for him to go without posting something. I wonder if he’s doing this for me. I hope he doesn’t jeopardize any of his sponsorships for me. I’ll have to ask him about that later.
For now, we’re preparing for the 4th of July cookout at his house. I cooked a lot of food to bring and Char is riding with me. I’ve got Bonnie with me as well because she always makes the trip to Eric’s house and she probably would have been pissed if I had left her. She would know where I had been. She’s smart.
We’re the first ones to arrive and I don’t think anything of it to just walk through the door. Char’s eyes are as wide as saucers when I look back at her.
“What? It was unlocked.” I say as I try to play it off as no big deal.
I set the food down on the kitchen island. The floor plan is open so I walk straight from there to the den.
Eric comes out of his room and heads towards me. I don’t think he sees Char because first thing he says is “Where are my girls?” referring to Bonnie and me and gives me a hug. I figure it’s probably too late to come back from this so it looks like I’ll be telling Char about us today.
Eric sees Char and he overcompensates for his slip up and gives her a hug too. I didn’t think her eyes could get any larger but I was wrong. I’m trying my damndest not to laugh but it’s hard. Clyde comes prancing into the room.
“You have a cat too?” Char asks curiously.
“Yeah, this is Clyde.” He says as he picks the little furball up.
Everything definitely clicks for Char in that moment. She is staring at me now so I take her by the arm and lead her to the back of the house.
“What the hell is going on Macy? First off, you just walked in here like you owned the place and he called you his girl and gave you a hug, and I know he gave me one too but I saw him grab your ass before he noticed me and he definitely did not grab mine. Thank goodness. Plus you both have kittens and their names just happen to be Bonnie and Clyde. Spill. Now.” She’s almost out of breath because she’s talking so fast.
I look at her sheepishly and then I spill my guts. By the end of our conversation, her smile is as big as mine.
She pinches my arm, “You little slut, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me any of this before!”
“Ow, why do you always have to resort to physical violence with me.” I rub my arm where she pinched me but my grin never leaves my face.
But her smile dims. “Hey Macy, why didn’t you tell me about all of this?”
“Oh Char, I wanted too, I just didn’t know how. Plus we haven’t told anybody.”
She looks at me with concern, “Did he ask you not to tell anybody? I know a girlfriend doesn’t exactly fit in with his public image.”
“I never thought about it that way. We decided together that we should keep it a secret.” I know it was technically his idea but I don’t want to give Char any reason to doubt his intentions.
“Okay, Mace. But be careful. He hasn’t had a girlfriend in a few years and I’m about 99% sure it’s because his manager told him not to. The fangirls of that reality tv show trash like him because he’s attractive and unattached. Don’t let him sacrifice you for them.”
“Char, I don’t think he’d do that.” Although, I haven’t thought about the stuff she is mentioning. I thought he was putting his social media presence on hold because he wanted to be present with me but what if he put it on hold because of me. I don’t want to mess up anything with his job or his non-job, whatever you’d call it but I also don’t want to be a secret girlfriend that hides away in the background of his life.
So needless to say, my mood has soured.
“Come on, let’s go back in there.” I follow Charlotte into the kitchen where I can stuff my face and try to forget my insecurities.
Aside from my bad mood, the day goes pretty well. However, I do notice that Dan and Char are avoiding each other. Our day is pretty par for the course for us. We hang out by the pool and play some party games. We end the night with a funny movie and dessert. Dan and Griff catch a ride with Parker, who showed up after dinner. Char takes my car home since Eric convinced me to stay the night.
We’re laying in bed and everything that Char said earlier is rolling around in my head.
“Hey, Eric.”
“Yeah, Mace?”
“I think you should be my boyfriend. Like, a legitimate, committed boyfriend out in the open.”
He hesitates and I can feel the vibe in the room shift. He sits up against the headboard.
“Macy, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not right now, not yet. Just give me a little time.”
I feel a rush of emotion and I’m thankful it’s dark in the bedroom because the tears in my eyes are threatening to spill. I have to wait a moment and get my emotions under control before I can speak clearly and sound unaffected.
“Ok, I can give you time.”
I roll over in the bed as he wraps his arm around me. I try to soak it in because I know it will be the last time. I don’t want to be a secret. Talking with Charlotte earlier made me realize that I don’t want to hide what we have. I’m so embarrassed that I asked him to be my boyfriend and he turned me down. It feels like 9th grade all over again when I asked Ricky Schrader to the Sadie Hawkins dance and he said no because he was waiting for someone hotter to ask him. Granted we were 14 years old so “hot” was a relative term and he probably just meant someone without braces. Except, this time it feels a lot worse when the guy I like says no. This time involves real feelings, not hormonal freshmen. Feelings that I was just coming to terms with and now I feel like he squashed them like a bug.
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