2 Color Me A Crime

by Tonya Kappes

  “Here’s the deal…” I take a deep breath and begin the journey…“I have a gift.”

  “For me?” Vive’s face lights up and she plants her hand across her bare-skinned chest.

  “Not that sort of gift.” I try to stop Vive from scooting around the counter in her four-inch high-heeled hot pink shoes, excitement playing on her face, her arms outstretched. I put my arms out. “Whoa…I’m psychic.”

  Just as fast as Vive came around the counter, she doubled-back.

  “No, no, no you don’t. You take your voodoo-self right on out that door.” She points a long finger toward the street. “I can’t have any bad juju up in here.”

  “It’s not like that either.” I plant my hands on the glass counter. Vive backs up against the wall and covers her face with her crossed forearms like I’m going to spit some type of witch spell on her. “I read auras. Like right now your aura is a pinkish red letting me know that you are a tad bit freaked.”

  “Tad bit?” She springs the bottle of mace from her fancy belt holster and holds it steady at my face. “I swear I will use this if you do any of that ‘I can see into your future’ shit.”

  “Wrong type of psychic.” I correct her. With some fast-talking, I let her in on my history with my family, Aunt Matilda, my nightmares, and how it all ties into Felicia Evans. “Only I didn’t kill Linda. Her real name is Felicia.”

  “Hell, girl.” Vive put the mace back in her holster. “That’s some messed up shit!” She stomps her heel on the hard floor of The Surplus. “What do you need me to do to help you?”

  “I’m not sure. But I do know that I need to find out everything and anything I can on Felicia Evans’ life, personal and professional,” I say. “That is why I want to use the internet over at The Coffee Shop.”

  Vive pulls down her too tight blue jean mini-skirt and motions for me to follow her to the storage room in the back of the Surplus.

  The storage room has boxes upon boxes of the latest guns, mace and anything else you may need to protect yourself.

  I follow her to the back left corner, closest to Color Me Love, to a little desk with an old desktop computer on it. Vive pushes the button on the monitor and tower to turn the ancient dinosaur on.

  With a few zips, zings, and ring sounds, the internet pops up.

  Click, click. Vive’s nails tap on the keyboard as I watch her type in Linda Minx. All sorts of Linda that we don’t need to see pops up…literally.

  “So, did you really plant your fist in her jaw?” Vive laughs.

  “It’s not funny.” I take over the keyboard as the front bell dings, letting us know that someone is in the store. “I’d do anything for a blue aura.”

  “You are going to fix me up…for free,” She calls over her shoulder before she disappears into the front of the store. “Officer Shelton. Back so soon?”

  I tap the monitor off, but not the computer, just in case Joel walks back into the storage room.

  Quietly, I get on my hands and knees and crawl to the door to see why he is back so soon.

  “Have you seen Ms. Davis?” He asks Vive.

  “Nope. She usually doesn’t work on Saturdays.” She chomps her gum. “You should know that, though. Aren’t you two an item?”

  Yeah, answer that one. I’m more interested in that answer than why he’s looking for me.

  “Ms. Kapila, this is official police business. I went by her house and her roommate and Aunt told me she wasn’t there.” He proceeds to ask more questions. “And her car is right over there. But she’s not in any of the two open stores.”

  “Hm. . .” Vive continues, “Did you check Color Me Love? Maybe she’s doing some paperwork or something.”

  “I knocked, but again, no sign of her.”

  Looking back, I have a compulsion to flee the scene, but I can tell that Vive is holding true to her words.

  “If you see her first, tell her I have that new extra strong can of mace she ordered.” Vive’s words drip with confidence. “You might want to buy some for yourself since the big Heifer’s and Ho’s mystery death. It’s much better than that little can you get from the police department.”

  “Who said anything about Heifer’s and Ho’s, Ms. Kapila?” He questions her.

  I peek between the door and the jam. Joel’s green eyes are intensely focused on Vive. His blue aura is still as beautiful as ever.

  Sigh. My heart skips a beat. I put my hand up to my chest just in case they can hear the pitter patter of my heart.

  Joel doesn’t wait for Vive to answer. “Listen, Vive. I want to clear this thing up as much as everyone else does in Park City. But I’m going to need Olivia’s help to do it. If you see her, please have her call or stop by the department.”

  “Will do.” Vive picks up the file and begins to saw away at her fingernails. She and I both watch him walk out the door.

  “He’s dreamy,” I say breathlessly and stand up.

  “We don’t have time for dreamy.” Vive grabs my arms and drags me back to the computer. She sits down in the chair, and I can’t help myself. I look at the puff from all the angles. There is no way that thing is staying in place without the Bump It.

  She clicks through all sorts of links.

  “Look here.” She taps the monitor. “Here is the production company that films her movies. What do you know? 4Play Production is right in Cincinnati.”

  “Click it!” With a single click, I had the name and number of the company. “Hand me a piece of paper.”

  Vive rushes to the front of the store. I am sure her gum chomping can be heard from outside. I realize the more intense the situation, the harder she chews her gum.

  Employment opportunities. I click on the button to see exactly what jobs they are hiring. It isn’t beneath me to put my colliding aura syndrome aside and go undercover.

  “Here you go.” Vive sets the sticky notepad and pen next to the keyboard. “I have a few customers that just came in. I’ll be back.”

  Not really paying attention to her, I wave her off and get back to digging around 4Play. Quickly I look for a night job or cleaning. Those are the best for my aura issues. At night, I wouldn’t have to worry about seeing anyone; well that is the case with normal companies. I don’t really know how a porn company works, but I’m willing to learn. Especially if it’s going to clear me of being a suspect.

  Unfortunately, most of the jobs are vague and require you to apply in person. I can definitely clean toilets.

  I glance down at my watch and notice it’s not even noon yet. I can make it to Cincinnati, apply, and be back just in time to do a few dumps, attend Buddy’s mixer, and eat dinner with Aunt Matilda and Erin.

  I peek my head through the door into the Surplus and Vive is giving her big ole spiel about how important it is to protect ourselves in this crazy world to a couple customers.

  I roll my eyes. Park City, Ohio is not a crazy world. Who in the world is Vive trying to convince? I’m not saying that my can of mace I bought from her didn’t come in handy---it did---but it’s not as if I’ve needed to use it every day.

  The fewer people that know I’m going to Cincinnati, the better. I don’t go out the front of the shop; I head out the back and into the alley behind The Surplus, The Coffee Shop, and Color Me Love.

  Luckily, the back door to the Coffee Shop is open. I slip in, take a couple bucks out of my bag and put them in the honesty jar. I need all the caffeine I can get. My nerves are waning…not because I’m a suspect in Felicia Evans’ murder and my blue aura boyfriend doesn’t believe me, but because I’m about to apply for a job with a porn company.

  And Aunt Matilda isn’t going to be happy about it.

  Chapter Ten

  I’m not sure if the coffee helps me or hurts me. My nerves are on edge as I pull into the old brick building in the not-so-great side of town in Cincinnati.

  I check the address again to make sure that I’m at the right place.

  Yep. I read the address out loud.

  S
pies like us, my phone sings from the passenger seat. A number I don’t recognize pops up. There is no way I’m going to answer it. It could be Cop Carl or even Joel trying to find out where I am by calling from another number. Not many people have my number and it’s not the one I use for Splitsville.

  I hit the red button to silence it. I have to get my wits about me or my nerves are going to make me pass out, not colliding auras.

  Before I grab my bag, I open the glove box to get my little bottle of mace. Not that Cincinnati is dangerous, but I don’t trust anyone who takes their clothes off for a film or for money.

  I check the address one more time before I get out and head to suite 501.

  Nothing on the building even remotely boasts that a pornography production company is in here.

  I take the elevator up to the fifth floor, which opens right into the lobby of 4Play.

  “They should call it what it is, the filth floor,” I mumble under my breath and let out a little laugh at my witty remark.

  “Thank God you are here.” The young girl behind the counter grabs me and drags me into a room behind her. Her pink aura went well with her skimpy red dress, hoisted cleavage, and sky-high heels. “We have been going crazy all day with Linda’s murderer on the loose. We are just so thankful you could come. The interview process is going to be fast. So if you get the job, you start tomorrow.”

  “Oh, that fast?” They must be in desperate need to fill the cleaning position. On second thought, what did they do in the bathrooms? I mean, you’d think there would be a lot of hanky panky going on in a place like this. I look around and assure her of my skills. I need this job. I want this job. “I’m really good with the scrub brush or my hands are good too. I do prefer gloves.”

  I hold them in the air and rotate them front to back.

  “That’s not for me to decide what you use.” She points out before she reaches behind her desk to retrieve something.

  This is great news. The quicker I can find out some things about Felicia and her private life the better. I had to find out who she was close to. Who would kill her? Did she have a jealous co-worker?

  Maybe Felicia did great sex scenes and beat someone out for the part. Gross thought, but valid nonetheless. I can’t leave anything unturned.

  She shoves some sort of chains in my hands. “Put this on and go out that door right there. I told them I would do it, but it’s the hair they aren’t too crazy about.”

  She points to the red, purple, and yellow strips of color in her hair.

  “Plus, my eyes don’t look open on camera.” She taps the corner of her eyes. “That’s what I get for being Asian-American.”

  “Okay.” I hold the edges of the chains and my mouth drops open as the tiny leather bikini dangles from the end. This is definitely not like any cleaning outfit that I’ve ever seen. “I think you have me mistaken for someone else.”

  She is gone. Disappeared. I’m left alone in the small room with nothing but chains

  I try to turn the knob on the door we came in, but it is locked.

  Thump, thump. Someone beats on the other side of the door. I stand in shock, not uttering a word.

  “Hurry up!” The male voice booms from the other side. “We don’t have all night! And if this is how long it takes you to get ready, you won’t be hired.”

  I had to be hired. I slip the bikini on and buckle the dog collar looking thing around my neck. The chain went from the back of the collar, down my spine, between my legs, and then attached to the front of the leather strap on the bottoms.

  I reach in my bag and grab my little bottle of mace and tuck it in the bottoms. Just for safety measure. I can just image me scrubbing a floor and someone coming up behind me. I dare them to mess with me and my Mr. Clean.

  Slowly, I open the door to something I will never, but would love to, forget.

  Nude people.

  All sorts of nude people. A few of the men had socks on their you-know-what’s while some women had on flesh-colored underwear.

  “Over here, love.” The rather tall but pudgy man motions for me to come over with his limp hand. Thankfully, he is fully clothed. “You will need to follow the script to a tee.”

  Script? Tee?

  He adjusts his beret, pushes his glasses up on his nose, and crosses his arms in front of him.

  “I think we have this all wrong.” I put one hand on my stomach and the other on my mouth. At this moment, I wish I had not put that extra shot of creamer in my honesty cup of coffee because it is about to come up. “I’m not here to. . .”

  “Wait, hon.” He glances over the top of his glasses and looks me up and down. He claps his hands and screams over his shoulder. “We have a mix up. This is the kitty fantasy.”

  A small Asian woman runs over and whisks me into another room.

  “Kitty fantasy?” I question. “But I’m a dog person.”

  The woman, who has an uncanny resemblance to Lucy Liu, isn’t amused by my joke and strips the dog collar and chains off me.

  “Here.” She shoves a furry thing at me. “Pasties, underwear, and hat.”

  Hat? Shew. . .at least I’m going to be a bit more covered up. Or so I thought.

  The only things that are covered are my ears…with the furry cat ears. The three triangle pasties barely cover my private area. I slip my mace in one of the furry ears.

  “Okay. Come with me.” She’s back to collect me and shoves me into a pole that is set up to look like a cat scratching pole. “Stick with the script.”

  Script?

  Another woman grabs me and pushes me into a tall director’s chair.

  “Here, hold your hair out of your eyes.” She pulls my bangs back and plants my hand on top of my head. “We are going to have to work magic on this face.”

  I am sure the woman is really four foot tall, but with her five-inch stiletto hills and extra teased curly hair, she has been transformed into an Amazon. I lean forward to get a better look at her sparkly cleavage that spills out of her red V-neck. Her gold aura surrounding her lets me know that she is annoyed with me.

  “You getting a good look at my tits?” She took a sponge of foundation and swipes my face several times before starting on my eyes. She pushes my chin up to face her. “You can touch them. Those babies are the real deal. Not hard, like most of these girls. And you could use a little lift.”

  “I’m fine.” I try not to stare at her. I’m not sure if she means to wear all that makeup that is making her look like a clown.

  “Honey, you better not be a shy one. You won’t be hired.” She stops and looks me square in the face. “Or are you one of those?”

  “I don’t know what you mean?”

  “Sure you don’t.” She went back to swiping the colored pencil around my eyes and on my lids before applying three coats of mascara to my lashes. I’m feeling a little like Betty Boop. “The innocent kind that turns it on, all on, in front of the camera.”

  She pulls away and winks.

  “She’s ready!” She yells out into the abyss of naked beings.

  The assistant that had disappeared is suddenly back and pushing me toward the cameras, a bear skin rug, and a jungle-gym type thing.

  “Go on over and climb on the cat scratching pole.” She points to the thing that looks like playground equipment.

  Slowly I make my way to the contraption. I peer over my shoulder and all eyes are on me.

  “Quiet on the set!” The pudgy man shouts over all the naked people. As if he flips a stop switch, everyone’s eyes are on me. No one is moving. No one but the naked man, crawling toward me.

  “Take one of Good Kitty! Action!” The man screams.

  “Here, Kitty,” the naked man slinks along the bearskin rug. His manhood has to tickle from raking up against the fur. “Good, Kitty.”

  The closer he gets, the more I realize he is coming at me. His brows rise, his eyes are….wanting!

  He slips a horsewhip out from underneath the bearskin rug as he continues to s
link along.

  “Whoa!” I hold my hands out. “What are you going to do with that?”

  He glances over at the producers. The producer nods for naked guy to keep going.

  “Are you being a naughty kitty?” He eases up the scratching pole and I ease the mace out of my hat and aim straight for that naked son of a bitch.

  “Yeowl!” He screams and rubs his eyes after I give him one good long spray.

  “Cut! What are you doing?” The producer rushes over and takes one look at naked guy rolling on the floor. His manhood flops just like him. “Help! We need a medic!”

  “Ouch!” I scream as the producer grabs me by the arm.

  “Listen, hon,” he gnashes his teeth, his breath reeking of cheap whiskey. “Linda said that she taught you everything she knows. I expect more than this. Just because Linda is dead doesn’t mean you get her part.”

  “But…” I try to protest that he has this all wrong. I only want to apply to clean toilets or even file paperwork.

  “Fine.” He takes off the beret. He is as bald as a cucumber.

  “Didn’t expect that,” I mutter.

  “Here’s the deal.” He leans closer. “This place has been crawling with cops. We have to be on the up and up. You know what I mean?”

  Slowly, I nod my head, when I really have no freaking clue what he’s talking about.

  “Linda said you’d take care of everything. So I’m going to give you a shot in Bottoms Up.” His flimsy hands flip and flop in front of my face. “This is your shot to make it big. Don’t screw it up!”

  He claps his hands and the Lucy Liu look-a-like rushes over. He walks away.

  “Here.” She hands me a thick packet with Bottoms Up printed on the front. “Be here at nine AM. Not a minute late.”

  I watch her walk away, my mouth still open. I’m not sure, but I think I just agreed to be an actress in a porno movie. That’s not what is disturbing me. What did he mean when he said that Linda said I would take care of everything? What is everything?

  I know nothing.

  Chapter Eleven

  The message light on my phone is rapidly blinking like those twinkling Christmas lights. That only means one thing…Erin is in desperate need to get in touch with me.