Queen of the Demonweb Pits

by Paul Kidd - (ebook by Flandrel; Undead)

  “There is something very un-tanar’ri about you, Morag.”

  “Yes, Magnificence.” The secretary proudly settled her swords and pens. “That is why you enslaved me.”

  Lolth whirled. She looked at her quicksand floor in satisfaction and folded her hands.

  “Yes. And you toil so very well. Dear, dull, drab, beige little creature that you are. But if you can shapechange, I do wish you’d at least make a pretense of a proper bosom. You really do tend to bring the team down.” Lolth allowed the last of her own new clothes to be fixed into place—covering her own plush bosom in a thin net of spider web. “Stuck here for half an hour! I am annoyed, Morag. I wanted to be on my way ages ago. Today I hear nothing but delay delay delay!” The goddess immodestly hitched the thong of her garments. “Well, we shall be here for an hour, then. We shall make the best of it. Morag, are there enough demon vassals still here for me to be depraved?”

  “I am sure you’ll find a way, Magnificence.” Morag acidly took notes. “Will that be all?”

  “Oh, yes, Morag. Quite all.” Lolth waggled her hand. “Off off off! Go on! Slither back to your little hutch and start totting up things. You can at least be useful if you can’t manage to be ornamental. Off!”

  Morag slid silkily away and closed the door behind her. Lolth signed imperiously to a handmaiden, who opened up a door. Lolth turned and looked into the space beyond and gave a sly, evil little smile.

  “Yes. We all have our little secrets.” The goddess walked past the figure standing silently in her hall—a nightmarish shape of rotted flesh, dry skin, and bone, wearing an eagle fashioned helm and tarnished armor. “I have a plan for dealing with intruders, so be careful of the traps, my dear. But do please make yourself at home.”

  Pressed flat against a wall, the Justicar looked cautiously around a corner. Beside him, Escalla frantically tugged at his tunic to get the man’s attention.

  “Jus! This route leads downstairs! What are we going downstairs for? All the really hoopy treasure will be up in Lolth’s rooms!”

  Jus glanced at Morag’s map, then drew the faerie after him as he went around the corner.

  “Lolth will have her best traps and guards around her own apartments. What we need is to strip those guards away from her. We need her unprepared, rushed, and unfocused.” The Justicar looked around a corner, then signaled Henry to watch the rear. “We need to get Lolth extremely annoyed….”

  “O-o-oh! Pissed off spider goddess? Hoopy! Yeah, I can see that!”

  Silently drawing his sword Jus approached a door. Somewhere up ahead, there was a hum that transmitted through the metal hull.

  “Control. That’s what our ‘associate’ meant. Lolth holds all other beings in contempt. She trusts no one else to do anything right.” Jus nodded at the door ahead. “According to the map, downstairs is the machinery that makes this palace walk. If we can destroy the machines, she’ll come down herself to see what’s wrong.”

  Polk rose up onto his haunches, clearly dismayed.

  “But son! This way we don’t go into the actual lair of evil! We don’t fight her step by step through the palace, facing every single trap, guard, and power she possesses!”

  Escalla dropped down and patted the badger on his head.

  “Ah, that’s great, man. Let’s call that one Plan B. We’ll get onto it right after we have our brains torn out and replaced by cauliflower.” The girl pointed at a door. “So the machine room stairs are this way?”

  The Justicar listened at the door, then signed for Henry to prepare his crossbow. Jus stove the doorway in with a single massive kick, sending wood splintering into a big space beyond. There was a roar from inside, and two huge shapes surged up from a heap of garbage on the floor. Startled, the giants snatched for clubs even as Henry’s crossbow hammered crossbow bolts through the air. One giant snarled as the little darts ripped into him, then went wide eyed as the sleeping poison smeared on the tips went to work. The Justicar was about to charge into the fray, when Escalla shot between his legs with her frost wand in her hand.

  “Whoa! Mine!” Escalla fired her frost wand into the room. “Jus, back! Don’t screw up that stoneskin spell!”

  A blast of icy cold smashed into the remaining giant. The creature bellowed and recoiled. Invisible, Escalla sped into the room. A club hammered down at her as the giant blindly tried to smash her to a paste—then Escalla’s frost wand opened fire from an indelicate position below. The giant arched and froze solid, dead as a stone. Reappearing, Escalla blew a wisp of frost from the tip of her wand, twirled it like a baton and tucked it into place beneath her arm.

  “And that’s how they do it on faerie turf!” The girl seemed pleased. “Hey! Who wants to search for treasure?”

  Jus was in action. He swiftly passed the rest of the party through the room, propelling Polk with his boot. He opened the door that led to the rear of the ship, moving fast, always watchful and ready to kill.

  “Move! Move fast. Go!” He picked up Escalla in passing. “No treasure hunting!”

  “No treasure hunting?”

  “Get moving before the guards come!” Jus paused at a door, kicked it open, and led the way through a storeroom. He paused outside another door—a door leading to a stairwell—and gripped Benelux tight. “Go!”

  The door burst open. Four ogres rose from their nests beside a spiral stair. A hail of crossbow fire and a blast of frost met them, and the creatures were dead before they hit the ground. Jus ran to the top of the stairwell, looked down, then immediately led the way downstairs. He moved fast, and Escalla had to sprint wildly to catch him up.

  “Jus! Jus, we should be careful!”

  “The guards will be after us. There’s no time!”

  He had to shout. The stair was filled with an awful noise coming from below—a metallic clash and shudder that rose to a deafening roar. The air was thick with heat and steam. Soot caked the walls, hiding the faces of the damned inside the metal skin. Enid squeezed down the stairs behind Jus and Escalla. Polk and Henry brought up the rear. Stifled, the group descended echoing metal steps into a deafening universe of noise.

  They stood in a vast metal hall choked with smoke. Huge furnaces ran the length of the chamber, each one a doorway into a raging hell of flame. Blank-eyed monsters, fanged, listless, and maggot-ridden, slowly shoveled coal into the fires. Some of the creatures even walked about among the coals, arranging white-hot embers with their bare hands. Pipes arched across the ceiling, some dripping water, and others jetted lethal blasts of steam. Tubes shuddered with force as steam drove through them. Others hung still and caked with soot as little quasit-imps ran skittering in the gloom. Furious heat struck the party like a physical blow.

  Shuddering machinery made a hellish racket. The Justicar leaned in to Henry, Enid, and Escalla, and bellowed at the top of his lungs, “Does anyone know how this thing works?”

  Everyone looked at Escalla. The girl shrugged.

  “I’m the world’s most deadly fashion statement! What do I know about machines?” The girl waved at the furnaces. “Look! There’s a process going on here! Stop the process, and you stop the machines!”

  “All right.” Jus waved the others into the hellish room. “Keep away from the pipes! They look dangerous. Look for something we can break. Something important!”

  The floor was covered in fallen scraps of coal. The Justicar salvaged a piece to feed to Cinders, then signaled the party to fan out. Enid and Henry flanked him. Escalla turned invisible and flitted about just ahead. Staggering and stumbling across a coal-littered floor, Polk hurried his short little legs to keep up. He pointed out the creatures servicing the furnaces and tried to swerve Jus’ attention.

  “Look, son! Tanar’ri! Demons just itching to be slain!”

  “They’re called manes, Polk. They’re like zombies, only dumber!” Jus pressed Cinders down atop his helmet as a steam blast hissed by. “They won’t even bother to look at us. They only do what they’re told.” The big ranger loo
ked at the solid furnaces, the deadly pipes, looking for something that might cause Lolth to come and rage at her subordinates. “Benelux! Have you seen anything like this before? How does it work?”

  I, sir, am a sword. Not a mechanic. Ever petulant, the sword shimmered in the Justicar’s hands. If it is information you want, I suggest you ask one of the bright red gentlemen over there.

  Dimly seen in the smoke and flames, the far end of the hall rose to a platform atop a pair of steps. Here were forests of rods, wheels, and control levers, all overwatched by a trio of hideous serpentine monsters. The creatures were shaped like anacondas with human arms, but they seemed to be wreathed in living flame. Jus dived into cover. Enid and Henry flattened themselves behind a pile of coal. The group froze, but apparently they had not been seen. The serpent creatures snarled at one another and attended to their mechanisms, twisting wheels to bring a scream of steam from pipes up above.

  Escalla found a fresh lump of coal for the ever-greedy Cinders.

  “Jus, what are those snake-things?”

  “No idea.” The Justicar squinted through the steam. “Salamanders?”

  Salamander! Cinders spoke with his mouth full, coal crunching between big teeth. Dumb selfish bad! Steals coal. Chase hell hound. Kill human. Bad! The hell hound gave a little growl. No burn. Is made from fire. Cold kills him dead!

  “Woo-hoo! Little Miss Frost Wand is having a good day!” Escalla patted her favorite weapon, then noisily worked its arming slide. “Hoopy! I’ll creep up, shoot them all with frost, and they’ll be dead before you can say ‘premeditated homicide’!”

  She turned invisible again before there was any chance for discussion. Jus half rose out of cover, trying to bring the girl back to heel.

  “Escalla! Escalla, be careful!”

  “Hey! Trust me! I’m a faerie!”

  * * *

  She looked so hot it was a shame to be invisible all the time. Still… it had a delicious sneaky feeling to it! Invisible Escalla flitted gaily across the room, leaving footprints in the coal dust. Struggling to hoist herself up the control platform stairs, she stood in the middle of a scalding hot floor and grinned at her prey.

  The salamanders towered four feet over her, with tails four times as long as she was tall—but none of it would help them. They were faerie fodder now! Escalla struck her sexiest, most aggressive pose and gave a raucous little cry.

  “Eat frost, you disgusting serpentine weirdo!”

  She triggered the wand. There was an asthmatic wheeze, followed by a flatulent sound. A tiny trickle of frost and ice gurgled out into the air and instantly disappeared. All three salamanders jerked their heads about, staring at Escalla with uncanny accuracy as she suddenly ran with sweat.

  “Oh frot.”

  A salamander lashed at her with its coils. Escalla tried to fly over the blow—forgot that she was grounded, and was caught by a blow of the red-hot scales. The tail-strike hurtled her between a mass of rods and levers, throwing switches and spinning dials as the faerie squawked and tried to battle free. From the coal heaps, crossbow bolts fired as Jus and Enid charged. A salamander took one look at the intruders, whirled and hauled on a lever, making a piercing whistle blast thunder through the air. An instant later, a crossbow bolt ricocheted from the creatures skull, shattering a dial and making steam hiss into the air.

  Escalla wormed madly through the levers, dodging from side to side as an enraged salamander stabbed at her with a spear. She sheltered behind a control bank. Mad with rage, the salamander jammed its weapon clean through the control panel, severing tubes and pulleys. Squeaking in fright, Escalla jerked back from the weapon, leveled her finger and blasted a lightning bolt right through her enemy. The salamander roared, shook itself, then caught Escalla in the grip of its red-hot coils. The faerie flashed up a heat shield spell, then struggled furiously in the salamanders grip, unable to get free. The monster squeezed. Escalla cursed, worked her lich staff free, and hit the salamander on the tail. The staff detonated flesh and scales, blasting its way through the monster to leave the salamander thrashing mutilated on the floor. Escalla threw the coils off her, then dived aside as two more salamanders came at her in a rage.

  “Jus! Jus, little help here!”

  * * *

  Charging the salamanders, the Justicar saw a flicker of motion as Enid galloped past a furnace door. A spear flashed for her flank. The Justicar bellowed a warning, and Enid dropped, the spear flying over her back instead of piercing her heart. A second spear came for the fallen sphinx, but Jus was already in its path. He hacked the weapon from the air then charged straight toward a salamander that stood inside the heart of a furnace. The creature snarled in triumph, falling back to make its enemy fight it inside the white heat of the coals. Instead, Jus slammed against the furnace and kicked the door shut, dropping the locking bar in place. A mane shambled over with a shovel full of coal, dumbly reaching for the door. Jus killed it with his sword, hacking it in two, then whirled to smack the head from another mane behind him. Inside the furnace, the salamander pounded on the door in rage, its fury wasted on half an inch of solid steel.

  Jus whirled. At the control platform, Henry was locked blade to blade with a salamander. The creature lunged and Henry parried, then jammed his blade home in a thrust with all the power he could command. He twisted the sword in the wound, just as he had been taught by the Justicar. The salamander screamed and caught him tight in its coils. Henry abandoned his sword, ripped a crossbow quarrel from his belt, and stabbed the salamander in the throat. The creature fell back. Henry tore his sword out of the creature’s chest and felled it with a huge blow that clove it through the skull.

  Escalla and Henry fell on the last salamander. The creature, backed into a corner, held them off with its spear. The Justicar ran forward, leaped over Escalla and smashed Benelux down on the monster. The salamander parried, but Benelux blasted down through its spear and into the salamanders shoulder. Jus wrenched and twisted the blade, the salamanders bones cracking as he viciously opened up the wound.

  Coughing and screaming, the salamander fell, and Jus decapitated it with a single blow. He stooped and grabbed Escalla by the wings, jerking her back from harm just as a valve exploded in a lethal jet of steam.

  “Escalla! Here!” Jus tossed healing potions to Escalla. “Pass them to whoever needs them, then break something. Anything that will stop the palace from moving!”

  The whistle was still screaming. Jus marched past it and smashed it with his fist, buckling solid brass as if it were paper. The noise gurgled to a stop. He pointed Polk to a line of pipes and levers.

  “Polk, destroy!”

  “I’m on it, son! Anticipating ya! Thinking one step ahead already!” The badger charged past, almost losing his hat. “Son, I think that whistle was some kind of alarm!”

  “No! You think?” Escalla raced past, throwing levers and twisting safety valves shut all over the control panels. “Polk, sabotage something! Hurry!”

  A huge pipe ran overhead between the furnaces. As boilers overloaded, one by one their valves popped and steam thundered into the pipe. Escalla saw the writing on the huge brass tube and yelled out to the Justicar.

  “Jus! That’s the safety vent! If we can close it, we might blow open some of this machinery!”

  Instead of hunting for a control lever, the Justicar took a simpler route. At a dead run, Jus thundered through the engine room. Benelux shone a blinding white. Shambling manes tried to block Jus’ path as he ran, and he killed two of them without slowing stride. He gave a huge roar and smashed the flat of Benelux into the titanic pipe, and the whole room rang to the blacksmith crash of blade on steel. The pipe buckled, bent almost shut, and immediately the engine noise rose to a manic scream.

  Steam exploded from the pipe, but the Justicar was already gone, diving and rolling away. A boiler wheezed, then suddenly swelled, rivets cracking like sling bullets as they popped and ricochet into the hall. Far behind Jus, Escalla took one look at the boiler an
d dived behind a pile of coal.

  “She’s gonna blow! Get your arses down!”

  The boiler exploded like a volcano, blasting steam and fragments of metal into the room. The blistering hot shrapnel severed surrounding pipes and splintered the engines. The mechanisms seized, screaming and breaking—more steam pipes burst, and others collapsed and fell from the ceiling in a crash. Jus, still gripping his magical white blade, hunched beneath Cinders as steam jetted through the room.

  The entire hall was choked in an impenetrable cloud of fog. From beneath a chaotic mass of shattered pipes, the Justicar rose up, then ducked beneath a scalding blast. The engine room was a madhouse of destruction—engines screaming, metal shattering.

  A figure suddenly formed in the steam—a shape slim, jet black, and magnificent. A tall, disdainful, and beautiful dark elf stepped through the clouds—a figure with eyes filled with dancing silver flames. When she spoke, it was with a dozen voices torn from the throats of her prey.

  “Just as I thought. Two little rats—Escalla and the Justicar.”

  Behind Lolth slithered Morag—pale and annoyed. Lolth unclipped her cloak of spider web and threw it back to her secretary.

  “An infestation in the engine room. I so hate having to deal with little creatures.” Lolth clicked her fingers to her secretary and smiled. “Morag, kill the faerie. Make sure he sees her die.”

  Jus leaped through fires, his hell hound wrapped around him and his sword a brilliant, blinding white. The sword should have smashed the goddess in two, but it met another force and blasted sparks through the steam. A blood red blade locked with Benelux, and Recca, emerging from a cloud of steam, screeched in rage and attacked in a mad, hate-filled blur. The Justicar fought hard and fast, parrying blows from the vampire blade as Recca drove him back and away.

  Lolth watched them fight then gave a peal of droll, derisive laughter. She walked away into the steam without a worry in the world, heading for the Justicar’s friends.