To Have and to Hold

by Riley Knight

  “Why don’t you go first?” Justin suggested. If his boss did what he thought he might do, there was no point in him humbling himself to the man.

  “You might have noticed that I’ve been watching you quite a bit.” The man leaned back in his seat, a strange smile on his lips. Was the bastard really enjoying this?

  “I did notice, yeah,” Justin admitted, and the man nodded and continued.

  “Well, I don’t know if you know, but Tammy has been promoted. She’s going to be the store manager at a different location.”

  Justin arched an eyebrow. Good for her? He didn’t see what that had to do with him at all, though. He couldn’t even begin to imagine why the man would tell him that.

  “That leaves her position open,” his manager continued, and Justin blinked. No. What he was thinking, it wasn’t possible. That sort of thing didn’t happen to him, and it never would, not in a million years.

  “And I’d like to officially offer it to you. It is a night shift, just so that you’re aware, it runs from five in the evening until 1 a.m.”

  Justin shook his head. Not in denial, but in disbelief. It was just flat out impossible that this was happening to him. It was some sort of joke. It had to be.

  “Why?” he managed to croak out. His mouth felt like it had gone dry. Like he could barely manage to form words.

  “Because you’re smart,” the man said promptly. “And because, when you put your mind into it, you work hard. And because you’ve proven over the last little while that you can do good work, when you’re motivated.”

  Justin bit his lower lip and did some quick thinking. The shift was perfect. He could be with Lily until Ran got home, and then he could go off to work.

  “There’s quite a bit more money in it,” the man continued. “And benefits, too. So, what do you say?”

  Justin took a deep breath, then stuck out his hand.

  “You got yourself a new shift manager,” he said.

  * * *

  When his shift was over, Justin went to the nearest jewelry store, and he bought a ring.

  Not for himself, but for his husband. They had never exchanged rings when they’d gotten married, and Justin wanted a physical sign that he and Ran were married. So he bought a plain gold band that would look stunning against Ran’s skin, and then he made reservations again.

  He took Ran out for dinner to that same romantic Italian restaurant, and sitting opposite him, he offered him the ring.

  “I want us to really be married,” he said simply. He’d been taking some risks these days, and they had all paid off, so he was going to try this one. “I want to be with you, not only until you get your citizenship, but for the rest of our lives.”

  Ran laughed, actually laughed, but before Justin could get offended, he brought out a ring of his own. A plain band, but white gold instead of yellow. In all other ways, it matched the one he was giving Ran.

  He slid the gold ring onto Ran’s finger, and Ran slid the silver ring onto Justin’s finger, and it was done. More finally, more permanently, more irrevocably, than the wedding they’d already had, they were bound to each other.

  “I want the same thing. I want to be with you,” Ran said softly, and they reached across the table to hold hands, their rings glowing in the low light.

  Their wedding rings.

  It was real, and it was forever.

  Epilogue

  Ran

  As it turned out, Ran’s citizenship and Lily’s placement in their home as a foster child happened within the same week of each other.

  It was perfect. Ran started his new job the day before Lily was brought to their house by the social worker, who was beaming. Ran’s parents had come for the happy event, too, and they clearly fell in love with the little girl.

  Immediately, she was part of the family. Maybe not the most conventional family, but it didn’t have to be. It was perfect anyway.

  Ran and Justin were out of the basement suite, and they’d found a much nicer place, close to a school that had a great reputation. Sure, they were farther from the bookstore, but the move had been worth it. It was closer to both Justin’s work and Ran’s, too.

  No one could have told him, even a year ago, how much his life would change in that time. If anyone had, he wouldn’t have believed them.

  He watched as Lily walked over to Justin and gave him a tight hug. He just smiled. Yes, it was changing their life, had already changed it, but at the same time, it felt like it was worth it.

  Already, he cared about Lily and suspected that he would come to love her, in time. Not only that, but he loved seeing the two of them happy, and they were clearly both happy.

  Not only was Lily smiling and relaxed, but more remarkably, so was Justin. It could take a fair bit to do it.

  This was going to be hard. Ran knew that. But he had never been afraid of a little bit of hard work, and he went over to them and put his arm around Justin’s waist, hugging him close.

  To his surprise, Lily turned and hugged him, too. She was shaking a little. Scared? It had to be intimidating, moving into a whole new house with people that she really hadn’t known for all that long.

  But no, it wasn’t fear. Definitely, fear would be justified, but that wasn’t what he saw in her eyes, which were just as expressive as Justin’s were.

  He saw relief.

  It would take time, and work, to get through the issues that her mother, now in jail for years, had given her. Had given Justin, too. They had time. Now, finally, that healing could begin.

  “Welcome home,” Ran said quietly to her, hugging her back.

  * * *

  Not that everything was perfect.

  Lily still took a while to get settled down enough to go to sleep. Lily was still mouthy and opinionated. Ran was still completely unused to kids, and neither Ran nor Justin had anything near the experience that they would have liked to take care of her.

  But they’d done their courses, and social workers had told them that they were ready. Lily needed them, and Ran was coming to think that Justin needed Lily, too.

  Lying in bed, far too late, Ran looked over at his husband and smiled a little. The poor man was exhausted, and he had to get up with Lily in the morning. So did Ran, for work.

  It was the best time for them to sleep, and when Ran looked at Justin, at the slightly wry look on his face, he knew that his husband was thinking the same thing.

  Really, it wasn’t going to be possible, not right away. They were both wound up. Ran knew that he, at least, was very aware of the little girl sleeping in the next room, and he would be shocked if Justin wasn’t the same way. He would have a hard time even believing it.

  “It’s hard to believe that it’s done. That she can stay here now,” Justin said, stripping off his clothes without hesitation and then slipping into bed. Ran admired him. Even after all of the many times he’d seen Justin naked, it never got old. He never stopped wanting to look.

  Ran was already settled, and when Justin climbed in, he pulled him close.

  “Was it weird to hear about your mom?” Ran asked quietly. It was a topic that was still too new to him to feel okay discussing it with Justin. That whole subject had been pretty much off limits for so long, and Ran was still getting used to being allowed to ask.

  “A little. I don’t know how to feel about her being in jail.” Justin sighed softly. “Lily wants nothing to do with her right now, but who knows how that will change?”

  Ran nodded a little. It was hard for him to imagine, his mother going to jail for a whole slew of charges, including neglect of a child, drug dealing, possession, and more. Justin seemed calm about it, but neither of them thought Lily would be.

  “It’s okay,” Ran said quietly. “She’s home now. All of us are.”

  Sappy, maybe, but it was also true. He’d never felt like he was really at home, not since leaving his parents’ house to go to college. It was all just places to sleep.

  Home was not just a place, though. It wa
s also people.

  They lay there together, and then Justin very suddenly turned to him and kissed him. They were both tired, yes, but there was no way that Ran’s body wouldn’t stir when Justin’s lips met his. It was just impossible.

  “Aren’t you too tired?” Ran whispered. They would have to be quieter than usual, now that there was a child in the house, but that was fine. He didn’t have a problem with that.

  “No. I mean, yes. But there’s something I’ve wanted to try with you and now seems like the right time.”

  Ran tilted his head at him, his hands slipping over Justin’s strong torso, touching his pretty nipples until they hardened for him.

  “You know I’m into it.” Ran was inexperienced enough still that he wanted to try everything.

  Justin looked nervous suddenly, not something that Ran was used to seeing. Or maybe it was just that he was getting used to seeing more of the emotions that Justin was showing.

  “I’ve never done this before. When I’ve been with guys, it’s been with me on top. But I want to try it the other way.”

  Ran picked up his meaning immediately, even if he had a hard time, at first, believing that he meant it.

  “You sure?” Ran was very interested, but he didn’t want Justin to do it because he felt pressured in some way. “I’ve never done it that way, either.”

  It was true. All of the times, few as they were, that Ran had slept with other people, he’d bottomed. He’d been curious about doing it the other way, but Justin had always seemed to have his preference.

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” Justin said, smiling. “I love you. I want you to have me the way I’ve had you.”

  Well, that was pretty clear.

  They kept lube in a drawer on a nightstand by the bed, and Justin reached for it. He pushed the tube into Ran’s hands, and that was an even clearer sign.

  In his life, Ran’s experience with virgins was pretty limited. Just himself, really. None of the other people he’d slept with had been. It was a big deal, and he nodded to himself. He would do it, and he would make it good.

  Slowly, drawing it out, Ran opened the lube and spread it on his own fingers. He knew that personally, when he was teased a little, it made him even more eager, so he took his time.

  He wanted Justin ready for him. When he took his husband, Ran wanted it to be absolutely amazing, he wanted Justin to moan and cling to him as he lost it. Just like Justin had done so many times for Ran.

  Ran got the sense that Justin had half expected him to just roll him over and take him right then and there. The idea did appeal, but not for this. Not for their first time like this.

  So he slid down and took the other man into his mouth. Justin was already half hard, and at this point, Ran knew just how to suck, just how to move his tongue, to drive the other man insane.

  He loved this. He loved giving Justin pleasure in all ways, of course, but this was his favorite. Moaning, he sucked him deep, and it was tempting to get lost in what he was doing to the point where he forgot what was going on.

  The idea of having him was too exciting, though, and Ran pressed Justin’s legs apart. His hand was still slick with lube, and he reached between the round little cheeks of his ass and brushed his fingertips over that tight hole.

  Ran's fingers had warmed the lube, and he spread it over, massaging at him to try to get him to open up a little. He was pleased when it didn’t take very long to happen, when he realized that Justin trusted him enough, and that Ran was doing a good enough job, that Justin could relax.

  “Mmm, I love you,” Justin murmured, and Ran gazed up at him, hoping that Justin could read his love reflected back at him in Ran’s face. He did love this man, so much it sometimes hurt.

  Slowly, he eased the tip of one finger in. Justin was so tight, at first, Ran thought it wasn’t going to fit. But suddenly, it slipped right in, and Justin cried out at the intrusion.

  For just a moment, Ran paused. Had that been too much, too fast? He’d never done this before. When he stopped, though, Justin raised his head and glared at him.

  “More,” he demanded, and that was a pretty clear sign, Ran thought. Smirking a little to himself, though his lips were busy caressing the length of that gorgeous erection, he started to work his finger inside him.

  Slick as it was with the slippery lube, his finger moved quicker than he would have expected. Justin was tight and hot around him, and Ran had to struggle with himself not to think too much about what it was going to be like to be buried inside the man he loved for the first time. It was too distracting.

  So he focused, and he worked his finger deeper, and then, when he moved it in the exact right way, it brushed over a spot that felt a little different, a spot that made Justin twitch in his mouth and leak precome and moan desperately.

  Ran knew this spot from his own experiences. He’d felt what Justin was feeling. So he kept working it gently, but ruthlessly, rubbing against it and then, when it was time, adding another finger.

  “Ran, now,” Justin’s voice was rough and hoarse, and Ran could hardly believe that it had been him who had done this to this gorgeous, withdrawn man. He had made Justin so eager that he couldn’t help but show it, and all while really having no idea what he was doing.

  Only when he thought about it, he did. He did have an idea, and a very good idea, because of all of the care that Justin had taken with him. Now it was time for him to return the favor.

  Pulling away from him for just a second, removing his mouth from Justin’s cock, Ran used his free hand, the one not playing with Justin’s prostate, to slick more lube over himself, not stopping until he was glistening, slippery enough to take Justin easily.

  Only then did he pull his fingers from the other man, then ease on top of him, kissing him firmly.

  “I love you.” Ran just wanted to make sure Justin knew that. The other man smiled at him, then reached down to grip Ran’s smooth, wet cock, guiding it down to the right place.

  If there had been any doubt that Justin wanted it, that one action would have dispelled it completely. Ran groaned, then let his body do what it wanted to do, what he could tell that they both wanted.

  He thrust.

  Once more, he was surprised by just how slick the lube made things. He was halfway inside him before he even knew it, that tight, hot channel closing around him and gripping him.

  Justin groaned, but once more, there was no pain in that sound. Or very little. There was nothing but pleasure in his face, and slowly, carefully, Ran pushed inside until he was buried completely inside him.

  It was maybe the most intimate experience of his life.

  Or the second most, or maybe tied. Definitely tied, actually, with having Justin inside him. Both of them were amazing.

  “Oh, Ran, I love you too,” Justin breathed, and then they were moving together with an absolutely perfect rhythm like they’d been doing this for years.

  Slow at first, but neither of them could sustain that. It was too good. First Justin moved just a little bit more, then Ran matched him. Then Ran sped up, and Justin matched him.

  They were quiet, but it was a good thing the bed was sturdy, or they soon would have been rattling it. Each movement frenzied, they worked each other up, kissing and touching, with Ran’s hand on Justin’s cock, until it was too much.

  Just when Ran knew that he couldn’t last even one more second, Justin bit at his shoulder to stifle a cry of pleasure and Ran felt a hot gush of come over the hand that was stroking Justin’s beautiful length.

  That was all it took. Ran came, too, and for the very first time, he came inside his best friend, his lover. His husband, his real husband, now and for the rest of their lives.

  The life they’d built together might not be conventional, but it was theirs, and for them, it was exactly right.

  For them, at least, this marriage, which had started off as simply a means to an end but had evolved into so much more, was nothing short of perfect.

  The End

&nbs
p; Thanks for reading!

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  Riley Knight is an avid reader and has always had a soft spot for gay romances. What could be better than a sweet story between two beautiful men who need each other? It only seemed logical for Riley to write these steamy, emotional romances, focusing on an emotional and happy ending.

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