UNDERTAKER

by Nicole James

  “Turbo?”

  She fought a smile. The male species’ infatuation with cars never failed. “Mmhmm.”

  He straightened. “Somehow I took you for more of the economy sedan type.” His gaze swept over her from head to toe and back. “But it suits you.”

  She rolled her eyes at his arrogance, as if she needed his approval. What was that crack about her being the economy sedan type? He knew nothing about her. She turned on her heel, heading toward the pub. “Let’s get this over with.”

  She heard him chuckle as he fell in next to her and they crossed the street.

  The pub was dark but upscale with polished wood, black and white tiled floor, and red leather bar stools. She felt a hand at the small of her back, guiding her toward a booth. It had been a long time since a man had touched her, even that much. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d missed it.

  She slid across the red vinyl seat on one side of the table, and he took the other side. A waitress came and asked for their order, and a minute later they each had a glass of beer in front of them.

  AJ lifted hers for a sip and waited. He had wanted this meeting; he could start the conversation.

  “You’ve changed.”

  It wasn’t quite the opening she’d imagined, but she didn’t let that throw her. “So have you.”

  “No, I mean, you’re different.”

  “Of course I am. It’s been a long time. I was a naive twenty-one-year-old when we met. I’m thirty-six now. Older and much wiser.”

  “Harder and tougher, too.”

  “That’s right. I no longer have illusions of a Peace Corps world.” Her words surprised him a bit, she could tell, but he covered it well.

  “You never let me finish my explanation when we first talked in your office.”

  “What explanation was that?” she asked.

  “About why I broke my promise to you, why I never returned for more sessions or—”

  She cut him off with a huff. “Was there ever any truth to your story? Was there a woman and child you were looking for? Or was it all bullshit?”

  “It was the truth.”

  “And did it do any good? Releasing you from the sessions so you could get off parole and free from its restrictions? Did it free you to find them? Was all the hell it put me through worth it?”

  He frowned. “What hell? What are you talking about?”

  “He found out. Allen Gaines, my supervisor. He knew I’d signed off when you hadn’t finished with all the sessions. He covered for me legally, but he expected compensation.”

  “What compensation?” His voice was low, the harsh words spoken with a thread of danger.

  “He made sexual demands. Threatened me.”

  Derek ran a hand down his face. “Shit. Tell me you didn’t—”

  “No, I didn’t. Luckily, he would have been in just as much trouble for leaving me unsupervised. But I still quit, and all my time there was wasted. I had to start another internship all over. I was lucky my placement advisor gave me a second chance. It set me back a year, and I swore from that point on I would never let another man manipulate me the way you did. So, what I want to know is… Was it all worth it?”

  His eyes bore into hers. “Goddamn, I’m sorry, Allison.”

  “Don’t call me that. I go by AJ now.”

  “AJ, I had no idea. I didn’t even consider the blow back on you.”

  “Of course you didn’t. Why would you? It’s all about you, isn’t it? I imagine that’s the way you’ve lived your entire life, with no thought to anyone but yourself.”

  His chin lifted slightly, and his jaw tightened at her analysis. “I’m responsible for a lot of guys, so no, that’s now how I live my life.”

  “I’m still waiting for an answer to my question.”

  “Christ, you’re a tough one.”

  She stared him down. She hoped he wasn’t waiting for a reply, because the answer should be obvious. Yes, she was a “tough one.” She had to be. She’d had to learn that the hard way.

  “I never found Angie or our child. It wasn’t until just a couple years ago that I found out what happened to them.”

  “And what was that? Or is it none of my business?”

  His jaw ticked at her sharp reply, and she wondered if she’d pushed him too far with her attitude. “It’s not your business, but you deserve to know. My daughter turned up not too long ago, and we were finally able to reconnect. How we ended up finding each other is a long story, and I won’t bore you with it. But her mother hadn’t taken her away as I’d thought. She died in Alabama, and I’d had no way of knowing. My daughter grew up in the foster care system.”

  AJ swallowed, feeling terrible for the innocent child, and maybe—if she were being honest—feeling a little sympathy for him. “I’m sorry.”

  He nodded and took a sip of his beer. They were both quiet for a moment, before he broke the silence. “So, no, your sacrifice didn’t get me my family back, but that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful and always will be for what you did for me.”

  Her eyes dropped to his leather cut, and she lifted her chin to it. “And after everything, you went back to that MC. That’s how you repay the kindness?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “I’m sure.” She said it dismissively, and he called her on it.

  “Don’t pretend you understand or have it all figured out.”

  She sipped her beer and murmured, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “I lead a complicated life. I admit it, but that doesn’t mean I’m cold and heartless.” When she tried to ignore him, he insisted. “Hey, look at me.”

  Her eyes came to him, almost as if they had a will of their own, as if that magic voice of his had power over her.

  “I like you. I always have… from the very first day we met. And you’re right, you were a naive twenty-one-year-old, and yes, I took advantage of that. But I had no choice—”

  “There’s always a choice.”

  That tick in his jaw appeared again, but he took a deep breath, and she swore she could almost see him counting silently in his head.

  “I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to hear a thing you had to say. There I was, a thirty-five year old felon. What the hell was a twenty-one-year-old girl gonna tell me about life, about anything? You were scared to death of me—I used that. You were easy to manipulate. I needed you to sign off on the sessions, and I did what I had to do to make sure that happened. And I’m sorry for that.

  “I was under pressure from a lot of directions back then, and I regret that you took the fallout. I regret the effect it had on you. But there’s something you need to know about back then… about the effect you had on me.”

  He had her interest now, and she studied him. If this was all bullshit, there was no trace on his face. “Go on.”

  “I took notice of everything about you.”

  “Is this more bullshit?”

  “Why would I bullshit you about this? I have nothing to gain.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I don’t want a damn thing from you except to get to know you better.”

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  Was he kidding?

  He rubbed his jaw again, like he did when he seemed frustrated.

  “Look, let me lay all my cards on the table. I’m very attracted to you. You’re a beautiful woman; you were always a pretty girl. Can I tell you something? Hell, the first time I met you, the first time I was alone with you, I noticed everything. How good you smelled, how soft your hair looked, and how much I longed to run my fingers through it. I even remember the sleeveless sweater you wore and how your bare arms looked like fine porcelain and how much I ached to touch them. I didn’t miss a detail. I wanted you. It wasn’t all an act.”

  “You were a jerk in that first meeting—going out of your way to make me feel uncomfortable.”

  “Yeah, I know. I think it was a defense mech
anism. I had to put you on your guard or shit would’ve happened. And that’s no bullshit.”

  “I allowed you to shatter my self-confidence.”

  “I’m sorry. I never meant to do that.” His eyes traveled over her hair and face. “You’re even more beautiful now, but it’s more than that. I like how smart you are. I like that you spar with me and aren’t afraid to tell me off or call me out.”

  She huffed out a laugh. “Well, that’s good, because I don’t plan to change.”

  He grinned. “Can we start over and just have a conversation, like two people who just met?”

  It was an interesting proposition, and she didn’t see the harm in it. Since this wasn’t going anywhere, she shrugged. “Sure. How is your daughter?”

  He leaned back, relaxing for the first time. His hand toyed with his glass, his eyes on it. “She grew up in a string of foster homes with no real stability. She blamed me for all of it. We had a rough patch, but we got past it.”

  “I’m happy to hear that. Where is she now?”

  “She’s married to one of the boys from the Birmingham, Alabama chapter. They just had a daughter not too long ago.”

  “MC life runs in the family, I see.”

  “Seems so.” He chuckled and looked down at the table, then tilted his head to the side and met her eyes. “It’s not such a bad life, you know. It’s not what you think. My brothers… They’re good people.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “I’d like to show you sometime.”

  “Show me what?”

  “We’re having a cookout weekend after next. Why don’t you come? I could pick you up.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Will you consider it? Holly will be there. You could see how she interacts.”

  She studied him. “I’ll think about it.”

  “So tell me, AJ, what do you do with your free time?”

  She toyed with the cocktail napkin her glass sat on. “Well, recently I started a non-profit. It’s a charity for battered women. In the spring we obtained property for a safe house that can shelter up to twelve women and children.”

  “How did you get involved with that?”

  He seemed truly interested, so she told him. “There’s another safe house in town. Several of the women I’d counseled were turned away because it was at capacity. One of them chose to return home to her husband. That night he beat her to death.”

  “Christ.”

  “I always felt that if she’d only had somewhere to go, she’d be alive today. I’d take them all in if I could.”

  “Men who beat women… They’re the lowest of the low. That’s not the definition of a man in my book.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way.”

  “How do you pay for all that? The house, I mean.”

  “Donations. It’s gotten to the point where I just signed a lease on an office for the charity rather than running it out of my office. I’m remodeling the place now and hope to have it up and running soon.”

  “Remodeling?”

  “It’s an old building. I’m talking ancient. I’ve got some painting to do, some windows need replacing, and the lot needs to be cleaned up. It sat vacant for many years.”

  “You need some help?”

  “With which part?”

  “With all of it. The boys and I could come over and knock it out in a day or two.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, AJ, I’m serious.” He grinned. “Now I’m not promising they’re pros, but I think they can handle cleaning up the lot, doing some painting, and replacing some glass. I can’t promise you won’t hear some cuss words, but if you’re willing to overlook the language, I’m sure they can get the job done.”

  “All right. Then I’ll accept. I’ll even throw in a case of beer.”

  “Oh, Lord. Best not get them drunk when you’re handing them a paintbrush.”

  She laughed softly. “I see your point. No beer. Pizza?”

  “How ‘bout I get the boys to bring over a grill, and we cookout? They smell that meat cookin’, they’ll be motivated to finish the job.” He winked.

  She smiled. “Deal.”

  “Good. This Saturday work for you?”

  “That would be wonderful.”

  He pulled out his cell phone. “What’s your number?”

  She told him.

  His fingers moved over his screen. A moment later, she heard her phone chime in her purse.

  “Now you have my number. Text me the address and time when you figure one out.”

  “All right. Thank you.” She glanced down at her watch. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got a lot of casework to go over tonight. I’m going to have to cut the evening short.”

  He drained his beer and stood, tossing some bills on the table. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

  When they arrived back at her Fiat, he waited while she unlocked the door and climbed inside. Then he squatted down in the space between the open car door, one hand on the roof of the low-slung sports car, the other on the door.

  It put him at eye level with her as she sat in the leather seat.

  “You’ve got my number now. Don’t be afraid to use it.”

  She grinned, totally sure she’d never use it except to text him about Saturday. “Okay.”

  He glanced around her car. “Maybe, if we do a good job painting this weekend, you’ll let me take this car for a spin.”

  She chuckled. “If you can fit your tall body behind the wheel, it’s a deal.”

  He grinned back, and she had to admit he had a beautiful smile. Then before she knew what he was planning, he leaned forward and kissed her. Just a soft brush of his mouth on hers, but it was enough to send sparks along every nerve ending in her body. He pulled back and winked. “Drive safe now.”

  Then, as she sat there stunned, he stood, shut her door, and walked back to his motorcycle. She recovered and fumbled with the key in the ignition, hearing the engine roar to life beneath her. But she couldn’t stop herself from watching him in the rearview mirror. Holy crap, he’d kissed her! And damned if she didn’t like it.

  CHAPTER NINE

  On the ride home from Holly’s session a couple of days later, Undertaker decided to follow the suggestion AJ made to him about redirecting her attachment from him to someone more appropriate.

  She needed to go back to school, but he knew she would fight him. He knew that was a hurdle he had to get her over, and to do that he had to solve that problem for her.

  He drove his pickup to the spot near the Twin Span Bridge where he’d taken her before.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked.

  “I thought you liked this spot.”

  “I do.”

  “Then come on.” He climbed from the truck, and she followed him down to the breaker. He bent and picked up a rock, heaving his arm and casting it far out into the lake.

  She moved beside him.

  “You have a good session today?” he asked.

  “Yes. It was good.”

  “You like Dr. Carter?”

  “Sure, she’s nice and easy to talk to.”

  “Good.” He studied her. She was eating better, and he made sure she got plenty of rest along with those early morning jogs, and it was starting to pay off. She looked better.

  He moved to stand behind her, wrapping her in his arms and resting his chin on the top of her head. “We need to talk, babe.”

  “Okay,” she murmured carefully, like she was afraid of the topic he might broach.

  “You’re doing well, and it’s time you got back to your normal life. You need to go back to school. Cat talked to them and you can re-enroll for next term.”

  “But… I’m not ready. That’s only six weeks away.”

  “Yeah, it is, and yeah, you are, honey.”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m not.”

  “Babe, talk to me. Why aren’t you ready?”

  She swallowed, finally admitting soft
ly, “I’m afraid.”

  “I know you are, sweetheart, and that’s why I’m going to see you’re well protected.”

  “How? Cat’s moved in with Blood now. I’ll be alone.”

  “I’ll have a man take you to and from campus every day. You want to go to the mall, he’ll take you. You get scared at night, he’ll camp outside your door. He’ll never be more than a phone call away.”

  “But it won’t be you?”

  “No, sugar. It can’t be me.”

  “Why not?” She clutched at his forearm, her grip tightening.

  He dipped his head to murmur in her ear. “You know why not. We talked about this. You and me, it’s a real sweet dream, but it’s not reality. I have an MC to run, and I’m too old for you.”

  “No you’re not,” she whispered in a voice that sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well as him.

  “Yeah, babe, I am. But I’ll always be your friend. I’ll always be here if you need to talk.”

  She turned to face him. “Promise?”

  “Cross my heart. Hope to die.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “Just don’t make me stick a needle in my eye.”

  “Ew.”

  He rubbed the top of her head and chuckled. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

  ***

  When they got back to the clubhouse, Undertaker realized Holly had time to think about it, and her anger had flared to the surface. She was smart enough not to backtalk him, but it didn’t keep her from stomping up the stairs or slamming her door.

  The guys milling about downstairs saw it, and it just reinforced the fact that he couldn’t have this going on at the clubhouse anymore. His eyes scanned a group over at the pool table, stopping on one he thought would be perfect for the job.

  “Joker!” He lifted his chin, and the kid immediately looked up and walked toward him.

  “You need something, Prez?”

  “Yeah. I’ve got a job for you. Protection duty. It’s long term, but I need someone I can trust.”

  “Whatever you need, you can trust me to take care of it.”

  “Good. Holly is moving out and going back to school. The next term starts in six weeks. She’ll be getting her own place between now and then, and I want a man on her, watching out for her. You’re her new shadow.”