Super Awkward

by Beth Garrod

  She smiled, not really listening.

  “Great, I can do all the fabric stuff, make banners and things – I’ve probably got some bits I can borrow from Tailor Swiftly, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind lending out a machine – and Rachel can help with any drawing and painting stuff . . . and Mikey can help out with whatever needs doing?” She looked triumphant. “Sound like a plan?”

  Mikey gave a double thumbs up.

  “Count me in. I’m a dab hand with some scissors, and, er, needle machines?” The fact he didn’t know they were called sewing machines suggested he wasn’t, but he really would do anything to hang out with Tegan. If only he knew I’d accidentally got him a whole army of fans after last night’s PSSSST.

  WHEN MY FRIEND, MJ, NEEDED HELP LOGGING

  INTO HIS SCHOOL FOLDER HE WAS V RELUCTANT

  TO ADMIT HIS PASSWORD. MAYBE COS IT WAS

  ‘DUMBLEDOREISMYKING’. APAZ THE HARRY

  POTTER BOOKS MADE HIM BLUB SO HARD HIS

  DAD BANNED THEM FROM THEIR HOUSE.

  **SHAME HE CAN’T GET A LOVE POTION FOR HIS

  REAL-LIFE HERMIONE – TEE.**

  It’d been my most commented on post yet – if heart eyed emojis count as comments. But all he wanted was for Tegan to like him IRL. And she was still caught up ploting for prom.

  “Well in that case, if we’rrre all agreed –” Mr Lutas looked round the group; we murmured various degrees of enthusiasm – “let’s spend the rest of this session looking at what we have and coming up with some designs. AND RRREMEMBER –” he hit the table, making us all jump – “whatever we do must be kept secret from your classmates. We don’t want to let them down by spoiling their surrrprise.”

  Rachel flicked her hair over her shoulder. I recognized this move from her mum – it meant she was about to ask for something.

  “You can trust us, Mr Lutas. We’ll all going to work reeeally hard because you’re totally right, it is something everyone looks forward to.”

  But as annoying as Mr Lutas was, he wasn’t stupid.

  “Let me stop you right there, Ms Waters. Remember, it’s not me that caused you to be missing out.”

  Thwarted.

  But Rachel wasn’t giving up that quickly. She’d had years of practice of being a one-girl-own-way-getter-er. She could boldly go where no normal person could.

  “I know. It was us. And we’re really sorry. But maybe, do you think if we work really hard, maybe even put in extra hours, that maybe there might be a way of us getting any points to help us go to prom after all?”

  We all held our breath.

  “Well, Ms Waters, why don’t we see? If you all work rrreally hard, as you so eloquently put it, then it wouldn’t be out of the question, but I guess only time will tell.”

  Wow. Rachel had managed the unthinkable?! I mentally high-fived her.

  “Thank you, Mr Lutas – I’m sure we all will, won’t we?”

  We nodded, all on-board, even Luke. For the first time this term, we’d found something we agreed on, and got to work.

  Despite the total tragedy of making decorations for a prom I currently wasn’t going to, as I sketched and cut out and constructed props, I started to enjoy it. Before I knew it, time was up. Time goes fast when you’re fashioning stick-on ear hair from paintbrush bristles.

  The mood lifted by our progess, and prom-ising news, we packed away quickly. Mr Lutas surveyed what we’d achieved. Even he looked a bit happier.

  “I have to say, you have done well today. It is verrrry ambitious, but many hands make light work, and in Friday’s session we’ll be getting some extra help from one of the sixth formers.”

  ARGH! Way to end on a bombshell. Promshell. PLEASE don’t let him mean Zac? Zac and Luke and me together was a recipe for disaster – worse than my mum’s Parsnip Surprise. I shot Tegan and Rachel a look of distress. Tegan calmly mouthed ‘don’t worry’.

  I took a deep breath and tried to stop a mental freak-out. There was no reason Mr Lutas would choose a student he’d only just met. I had to be rational. Especially as there was no way we could dig for more deets in front of Luke.

  But I couldn’t offload any panic on the others, as Tegan had to run straight to gym and Rachel’s mum was waiting outside to take her to a private self-portrait class for the two of them. I waved my goodbyes from the art room and swung by my locker to get my games kit.

  School feels so eerie when the lights aren’t on. Like it shouldn’t really exist when there aren’t people forced to be there. My phone lit up the corridor as a message came through.

  Hi sis. All OK? Mum’s out so I’ve got tea on.

  You back late? X

  Result. Clearly the detention letter hadn’t arrived yet or Jo would be digging for deets. Phew.

  Thx for checking up on me (not). I’m doing

  volunteer stuff for prom. Back in 30 x

  I wondered if other people had to juggle one and a half mums? Not fair. I grabbed my kit out of my locker and went to stuff it into my school bag. But as I bent over, my locker slammed shut with a bang that bounced off the walls.

  “Thought I’d see you here.”

  It was Luke.

  “Haven’t you got something better to do than follow me around? Like getting a life?” I instantly regretted snapping.

  “I’ve got loads on, but checking up on you is always a number one priority.”

  I trusted Luke about as far as I could throw him (which I knew was only twenty-two centimetres because we’d once tried). I picked up my bag to get away. But he grabbed at the strap, pulling me back.

  “Shame your ‘boyf’ wasn’t there today. Was looking forward to comparing notes.”

  I wanted to crawl into my locker and slam the door in his face. But Luke had hold of me and I couldn’t get away. I had to answer. It was now or never.

  I collected up every bit of courage I could find and looked him straight in the eye. Because as scary as it was, I knew what I had to do. If Luke did confront Zac, I’d wave goodbye to any hope of ever sorting things out with him. And Zac would wave ciao to his Italian trip.

  I had to remember that what Zac thinks of me matters a gazillion times more than whatever Luke does. But it still wasn’t going to be any fun giving Luke the ammunition he was so desperate for.

  “First things first, Luke, let go of my bag.” He didn’t move. “Let. Go. Now.”

  He dropped his hand to his side, startled by the firmness in my voice.

  “Right, this is how it is.” I swallowed. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do. “You were right. I made the whole thing up. The holiday romance. The prom date. The snog. Well, semi-snog. Trying to make everyone believe it by pretending it was all about that sixth former... Even Rach.” Luke’s eyes were so wide he looked like he’d been stretched. I ignored the grin spreading underneath them.

  Deep breath, Bella. Push down the knotting in your stomach. Concentrate on what you have to do.

  “I never had a photo – but you knew that. The poor new guy must have been so confused. Bad luck for him, having the same name?”

  Luke rubbed his hands together.

  “I knew it! I. KNEW. IT. It’s what I said from day one. Blobfish and her dream world! I CAN’T WAIT to tell the others.”

  My heart was beating faster than in the one netball match I’d played in. The reality of this being the main gossip at school tomorrow had smacked me in the face like a cold shower. Still, dragging me down was better than dragging Zac into this. Luke was so excited he’d clenched his fist into a ‘yes’.

  “I said Fishy Balls could never get a guy like that. Well, any guy!”

  “I got you, didn’t I?”

  Luke’s smile vanished. I’d mentioned the Voldemort of chat. The subject that couldn’t be named.

  “You were nothing but a way to make me and my mates laugh. Remember that.”

  But neither of us was laughing. And maybe that’s because there was something that never added up to me. If I had just been a joke
to him, then why, when no one else was around, had I met his mum – and why had he stuck out an evening with mine?

  But I didn’t get chance to call him out. We both froze as we heard weird jingling behind us. Eurgh. Undeniable Mr Lutas and the jangle of the keys in his pocket he was always fiddling with. Without another word, Luke darted out of sight just as Mr Lutas came out of the geography room. Wonder what he’d been doing in there? Probably looking for Mrs Hitchman. I tried to compose myself, even though my heart was beating so hard it sounded like it had moved to my ears.

  “Good work today, Ms Fisherrr.”

  Wow. A complement from Mr Lutas. Had the paint fumes got to him? Lucky the lockers were beside me in case I fainted.

  “I’m glad I caught you before you headed off.”

  My heart sank. Now what had I done?

  “It slipped my mind earlier, but after the episode in my arrrt room last week, I’ve been meaning to have a word with you.”

  I flinched at how mortified he sounded on my behalf. Nothing like a teacher finding you an embarrassment.

  “I wanted to let you know that this teaching assignment is verrry important to the sixth formers’ course, so please can you be. . .” He thought for a while. Probably looking for a teacherly way of saying something intellectual. “. . . norrrmal? Especially as Zac will be helping in next detention sessions.”

  WHAT ARE THE CHANCES? If there was a lottery for losing money, I would totally win it. Now Zac was going to know that, on top of everything else, I was a condiment-squirting-detention-getting saddo. And we’d have to make awkward polite supervisor–student convo in front of everyone. BLEURGH. Although major phew that I’d put a stop to Luke’s plan to have it out with him. Had I actually managed to do something right?!

  But why, out of everyone, was it Zac that was helping? Before I could stop it, that exact question popped out of my mouth. Mr Lutas and I were equally caught off guard by my abruptness.

  “Well, we need all the hands on deck we can find. And I guess that’s part of the job being my s. . .” Mr Lutas stumbled over his last word, looking embarrassed about what he’d let slip.

  Had I heard him right?

  OH MY SWEET CHEESES. If only there was a way to UN-HEAR him.

  Mum says, when we’re stuck for words, that ‘the cat has got our tongue’. Right now, a herd of lions must have jumped into my mouth, chewed my tongue off, and pan-fried it up for Mary Berry.

  I was so speechless, I wasn’t sure I’d say anything again until my thirty-second birthday.

  Did Mr Lutas just say ‘son’?

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-TWO

  Tegan reckons that if you sleep on something it will always be better in the morning (unless it’s a crisp, in which case it would just make crumbs in your bed). But after two more sleeps, I still hadn’t got my head anywhere near around Zac being the spawn of the world’s worst teacher. Or that Mr Lutas had managed to talk someone into procreating with him. It was completely shuddersome. Last night I’d lost three hours’ sleep worrying that in kissing Zac, by seven degrees of spit separation, I’d exchanged saliva with my teacher. It was all too much. When I see Zac in detention later, I’ll have to check for signs he’d inherited the overproduction of nose-hair gene. Still, he’d probably still look fit with nose hedges.

  Despite the worry of the looming Zac encounter, the morning went better than expected. First I had my second MIAGTM sighting of the week, then prom hope took a step forward as Rachel got extra Lutas credit for helping out with his lunchtime art club, and Tegan got full marks in her German test. Partei, partei, partei (as Tegan put it). And I managed the biggest thing of all. Not doing anything disastrous. Although when Rachel whispered ‘hello, father-in-law’ when Mr Lutas walked into assembly, I kicked her so hard she trod on a Year 7. Tegan said I’d laugh about it one day. But that could only be true if it was the same day I discovered Zac had been born via sperm donation.

  Despite lots of whispers and giggles in my direction after Luke made it his life work to make sure everyone knew about my confession, I felt better that I didn’t have to worry about him grilling Zac any more. Knowing that after all the drama I’d caused Zac, I’d actually managed to stop some for once, created some sort of positive-vibe superhero cape that helped bounce off all the sly comments from Lou and Luke’s mates, who were all desperate to impress them by reminding me how tragic I was.

  And there were more good things too. Not worrying about what Luke would say to Zac freed up the worrying bit of my brain to concentrate on what I was going to say to him. I’d even ironed my uniform so I seemed a bit more together (well, got Jo to do it, as the only time I’d tried I ended up dropping the iron on the carpet and permanently melting half of one of Mum’s slippers into it).

  But despite trying to channel Tegan’s strength, and Rach’s optimism, by the time detention ticked around, I was a total wobbling blancmange of nerves. Rachel had to physically push me through the art room door. But the combination of stumbling over my feet, and stumbling over the sight of Zac, made me do a weird yelp, like a tiny dog that had trodden on a thistle. Everyone, including Zac, turned round. I panic-gestured at my shoe as if that’s what had made the squeak. Mr Lutas gave me an entirely unconvinced and alarmingly sympathetic smile. It was very unnerving. Especially as above the alarming smile was an even more alarming nose – an exact replica of the nose I once thought was cute on Zac. And it had been staring me in the face, literally, on Mr Lutas this whole time. How had I never noticed?

  Tegan headed straight to the far end of the room where Zac was helping lift her heavy sewing equipment down from the shelves. It was so hard to make my eyes do anything other than just stare at him, even if it was just his back. I couldn’t believe Tegan was so calm standing next to such hotness, but as usual, she was focused on her job. Art is one of the few things she’s not amazing at, so she’d played to her strengths and cut and stitched two massive fabric banners – one for the main school entrance, and one for the hall, each with the school name, the year and ‘Year 10 Prom’ on. She’d stayed late yesterday and come in early today to work on them with the sewing machine she’d borrowed. With Zac’s help she proudly unravelled one, and held it up for us to see, totally covering the two of them with her giant creation. Half of the letters were already in place and it looked so A-mazing that an impromptu cheer went up. I crossed my fingers Zac would stay helping her all lesson.

  But my fingers clearly need to work on their mind control, as moments later Mr Lutas told Zac to come and lend a hand with my props. Zac didn’t show any emotion as he headed over. I brain-shouted at every face muscle I had to behave and not move. Turns out there is nothing funny about making giant eyebrow props when you’re having to do it in awkward silence. The giant love heart was even more tricky.

  Mr Lutas walked by and smiled approvingly at our work. But I had a feeling it was something else that had put him in this abnormally good mood. And I was right. He clapped his hands, asked us to stop what we were doing and head to the storeroom.

  “I wanted to show you something that I think we can all be very prrroud of. Yes, it’s a team effort, but someone here has really pulled out all the stops.”

  Tegan raised an eyebrow – had Mr Lutas been that impressed with her early morning stint?

  Mr Lutas opened the door to the storeroom. I couldn’t help but gasp at what I saw. An amazing 3D wooden photo frame, almost as tall as the ceiling, with the school crest carved into it alongside the date of the prom. Next to it was a giant pile of signs, rough around the edges, but all taking shape. ARGH! Luke must have worked overnight to do all of this! This was the opposite of making a mess of it – he’d made a total tidy of it. How dare he!

  Luke looked as pleased with himself as I felt un-pleased. Mr Lutas was positively beaming. He patted Luke on the back.

  “Prrrretty impressive stuff, I think you’ll agree?”

  Zac nodded. But I struggled to be even fake-enthusiastic for Luke. We were meant t
o be getting the glory, not golden-frame, golden-boy douche-boy.

  Mr Lutas cleared his throat deliberately dramatically.

  “So . . . I think it’s to fair to say Luke’s earned his place back at prrrom.”

  Oh double great. Great threepled. Tripled. Whatever. Thanks, Mr Lutas, for playing rrright into his hands. If I knew a bit of after-school woodwork was all it took to win you back round, I could have bought that cheeseboard in that I made (well, Jo did, but I watched).

  Eurgh.

  Luke hit peak smug-face.

  I turned so I couldn’t see it and tried to focus on the positive. We had proof prom was possible. And I could tell by Rachel and Tegan’s faces they were thinking the same. All I could tell from Mikey’s face was that he really needed to work on not looking lovingly at Tegan whenever she was in a room. Eager to crack on, everyone headed out. I turned to do the same, but the door swung shut.

  Luke stepped into my way.

  “Seeing as I’m off to prom, thought we’d better clear the air.”

  I sighed. Not this again.

  “C’mon, you have to stop slamming doors in my face. It’s not a thing.”

  But a third voice spoke up.

  “Guys, can we just get back to it?”

  I span round. Zac was in here too?! I’d been so busy trying not to look at him, that I’d forgotten to look at him! Well done, eyes.

  Luke smirked.

  “Don’t worry, it’ll only take a sec. It was you, Zac, I was after really.”

  Luke being ‘after’ Zac was about as reassuring as being told a giant comet ‘might’ not be about to hit the earth. I looked around desperately. Could I stick two paintbrushes in Zac’s ears and block out whatever Luke was about to say!? Hadn’t I already given him what he wanted?!

  Luke held out his fist as if he wanted Zac to fist-bump it. Zac did not fist-bump it. He just looked annoyed.

  “What is it, then?”

  Luke scrunched his face as if it was hard for him to say, even though it was obvious he was loving every second.