M. Donice Byrd - The Warner Saga

by No Unspoken Promises

  “My razor? I haven’t seen this in twenty years. You’ve kept it all this time?”

  “She killed herself with it.”

  Randolph Knight gasped and dropped the razor as if it were red-hot. It clattered dully on the polished wooden floor.

  “Jesus, Blake. Why would you keep that?”

  Blake stared at his father trying to calm down before he said something he might always regret. “I’ve always been so proud to be your son even if I alone knew who I was but I can’t live like this anymore. I will always love you and appreciate everything you’ve done for me but I am no longer going to beg for your love and attention. Table scraps are for dogs not for sons.”

  Blake heard his father calling his name before the door closed but Blake didn’t stop.

  The secretary rushed into the inner office nearly before Blake disappeared into the corridor. “I heard raised voices. Should I ban him if he shows up again?”

  “He won’t come here again. But if he does show him in immediately.”

  36

  Agnes Donovan did not bother to feign surprise when Blake Warner’s trunks arrived. She merely had them moved into storage until he turned up. However, the stunned expression when the man himself appeared was not feigned in the slightest. In the years she had known him, she had never seen him looking as he had that day. Sure, she had seen him rumpled from travel and living out of his carpetbag or in need of a haircut or even with a few days’ whisker growth on his chin but when he walked in, she nearly didn’t recognize him. Not only was he unwashed but it also appeared he hadn’t shaved in weeks. But what alarmed her most was the way he didn’t conjure up the slightest hint of a smile. In all the time she knew him, which had to be at least a decade; he never stood across the desk from her without one until then.

  If the truth be known, she harbored a little crush on him herself despite the fact she was married and twenty years his senior but he was just so charming and attractive no woman could resist. She had certainly been more surprised by his marriage than she had by his estrangement since he had never courted any woman longer than a few months. Well, except for Rebecca Grant and Agnes wasn’t exactly sure about her. Miss Grant had never spent the night and she had never seen the woman wrap her arm around his or even kiss him on the cheek.

  Mr. Warner had locked himself in his room with instructions to send up a sandwich twice a day. Agnes had taken it upon herself to send up a bath thrice weekly although he hadn’t asked for it.

  They had come again. The boy and his sister Blake had introduced as his children sat in the lobby chairs. She told them what room he resided in, but they wouldn’t go up. They just sat in the lobby, sharing one chair. Each time they came, they stayed for about an hour and then left as quietly as they entered. Determined they would not leave disappointed again, Agnes climbed the stairs to the second floor.

  She stood at the door knocking and knocking until he came and opened it. He looked terrible. If she hadn’t known better, she might have suspected he was drunk.

  “Jesus, Blake.”

  In ten years, she had not once addressed him by his given name nor was she in the habit of cursing in front of guests. “That boy and girl you came in with are downstairs in the lobby. I was going to make you go down and see them but I don’t think they need to see you like this. Jesus,” she cursed again.

  “Pete and Lolly are here?”

  “It’s not the first time either.”

  A myriad of emotions crossed his countenance. “I don’t want to see them. Just leave me alone.”

  “No, that little girl is not going to leave here in tears again. I’m going to send up a bath for you and you are going to clean up and come down to say hello.” Agnes Donovan turned to leave but stop short. “Whatever is going on between you and your missus is not their fault. If I hear you being anything but a doting father, you’re going to have to find another place to live.”

  Blake may have used the threat of not wanting to find a new place to live as an excuse to see Pete and Lolly but the truth was he wanted to see them almost as much as he was conflicted over whether he wanted to see Meredith.

  Lolly didn’t recognize Blake’s bearded face when he came down the staircase twenty minutes later. Pete elbowed her and pointed but she still didn’t know who he was until he was close enough for her to see his eyes better.

  “Uncle Blake?” Lolly sounded unsure.

  “It’s me, Lolly. I just grew out my beard,” he said smoothing the unkempt thing downward. “Come here and give me a hug.”

  She looked like she’d rather be tossed in a mud puddle but slowly she and Pete rose from the chair. Blake scooped her up under the arms until she was high enough to wrap her arms around his neck. He held out one arm to Pete as an open invitation to join the embrace but Pete pushed Blake’s arm away.

  “Have you eaten? Come on let’s go to the dining room and have a bite.”

  Blake didn’t let them object and he didn’t put Lolly down until he deposited her in a booth. As always, Blake sat next to Pete blocking him from staring eyes.

  “Do you want a meal or just some pie and milk?”

  Lolly’s eyes grew wide. “Do they have punkin pie?”

  “Oh, that sounds good, doesn’t it?” Blake said. “Let’s ask. What about you, Pete?”

  Pete made a series of signs Blake didn’t understand but Lolly spoke them as he signed. “I would like p-u-m-k-i-n pie, too, if they have it.”

  Pete opened his notebook and wrote the words ‘pumkin’ and ‘pie’.

  “Is that a list of words you need to learn?”

  Pete nodded.

  The waitress walked up before Blake could ask to look at his list of words or correct the spelling of pumpkin. It was Lena, the woman who had waited on them the first time they ate there as a family.

  “Oh, hey, Mr. Warner, I didn’t recognize you with the new beard. It suits you. Mrs. Warner isn’t with you today?”

  “No. We all want pumpkin pie and milk.”

  “I just love beards,” she said. “Is it to that soft stage yet?”

  She reached out to touch his beard. Blake pulled away and grabbed her wrist.

  Pete began signing and Lolly, her eyes trained almost trancelike on him, interpreted simultaneously.

  “She’s not here to save your j-o-b this time you ugly t-r-o-l-o-p.”

  Blake chuckled at Lena’s sharp intake of breath.

  “Are you going to let her talk to me that way?”

  “She didn’t say that, he did,” Blake said pointing at Pete.

  Pete cast an insincere, lopsided smile at her. Blake turned to Pete and held out one finger as if he was going to give him a good scolding. “Trollop is spelled with two L’s.” He winked at Pete before turning back to Lena. “I think we prefer to have one of the men wait on us,” Blake said releasing her hand.

  “Yes, sir.”

  After she left, Blake turned to Pete. “I don’t like hearing that kind of language coming out of Lolly’s mouth.”

  “You’re the one who stopped taking lessons so Lolly has to interpret,” he signed with Lolly speaking his words.

  Blake only nodded. “You two have really gotten good.”

  “We’re getting there.”

  As Blake forced a weak smile to his lips, he looked at the children and realized how much he missed them. Lolly looked like she might have grown at least an inch. Her jet black hair, was coiffed into little sausage curls that made her fit into the mold of a little girl born into wealth.

  The scar on Pete’s bottom lip had faded slightly and the hollows of his face were beginning to fill in. His hair had been trimmed since last he saw him and he seemed calmer, less angry, less afraid.

  “Does Meredith know you’re here?”

  Pete shook his head.

  That annoyed Blake. If she wasn’t going to watch them the way she should, he was going to take them away from her. “Why doesn’t she know you’re here? You didn’t run away again, did you?”


  “No, Uncle Blake,” Lolly said. “She’s sick with the fluenza and can’t get out of bed. We snuck out when she took a nap.”

  “Is she getting better?” Blake asked Pete, concern raising the timbre of his voice.

  He shrugged then nodded in confirmation.

  “She cries a lot,” Lolly said.

  Blake felt a gnawing hollowness in his stomach knowing she cried because he left her. How could he explained that seeing her holding that razor made his blood run cold and he had to get away to save himself from the pain that image dredged up. Perhaps if she was the kind of woman who looked to solve her problems like that, they were all better off without her. Blake had contemplated consulting a lawyer about taking the baby after it was born but knew he couldn’t do that to her. The last thing he wanted was to do something that would send her over the edge. He could never live with himself.

  Blake closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were awash with unshed tears.

  “This isn’t a safe city for you to be running around in,” he said trying to turn his thoughts from Meredith. “How did you get here?”

  “We rode the horse.”

  “Meredith’s horse?”

  “There’s another horse?” Pete signed then made an exaggerated shrug.

  “I don’t want you riding him. He’s too big. If he got spooked, you wouldn’t be able to control him.”

  Lolly interpreted Pete’s signs. “I am as big as Aunt M. and I am a boy so I am stronger.”

  Blake didn’t want to emasculate him by questioning his strength. “The city is filled with loud, unexpected noises that Viper is not used to. It just isn’t safe. I can make do without my horse for the time being.”

  Blake asked them about their lessons and listened intently as Lolly talked about the things they were learning until the waiter arrived with the pie and milk.

  “I love punkin pie!” Lolly said.

  “Me, too,” Blake confided. “I think it’s my favorite.”

  They finished their pie quickly as Lolly chatted away about anything that popped into her mind. Blake liked the way her chatter drove away the demons that haunted him. He had missed the children more than he imagined he could and he was thankful they had come to see him. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to finish the pie and milk.

  “I’ll escort you back to the house. I can’t believe you found your way here.”

  “We asked people for directions and Petey wrote them down,” Lolly explained.

  “Didn’t anyone tell you not to speak with strangers?”

  Pete’s eyes open wide and his hands began flying and Lolly stopped to interpret. “Petey says, ‘You were a s-t-r-a-n-g-e-r and I try to keep you away with a g-u-n.’”

  “And you didn’t learn your lesson?” Blake joked.

  Pete’s hands began moving and Blake stilled them. “What’s done is done. Try to make the best of it.”

  Pete pulled his hands away and began signing again.

  “Would you put your hands over someone’s mouth when they were talking?” Pete asked through Lolly. “That was r-o-o-d.”

  “R-u-d-e,” Blake said after he figured out what Pete was trying to say. “You’re right, Pete. You’re absolutely right. That was rude and I apologize.”

  They walked outside and Blake saw Viper tied to the hitching post with several other horses. “I need to get my horse from the livery around the corner,” he said untying the big gray. “I’ve been thinking you need your own horse, Pete.”

  Pete’s eyebrows shot up. “I’d like to get one that can be harnessed to a carriage and that you can ride.”

  As they led the horse toward the livery, Lolly took a hold of Blake’s free hand. He gave it a little squeeze and the little girl squeezed back.

  “Have you been tending the horse since Meredith has been sick?” he asked Pete.

  The boy nodded.

  “Do you like doing that or would you like me to hire someone?”

  He pointed to himself with his thumb.

  “You really enjoy working, don’t you?” Pete nodded vigorously and signed yes. “I’ve seen what a hard worker you are. Your parents must have been very proud of you.”

  “Ma said Petey did more work on the farm than Pa,” Lolly blurted out making Pete snapped his fingers at her as if he was trying to quiet her. “It’s true, Ma said that all the time,” she said straining her neck up at Blake. “Uncle Blake, I don’t like your beard. Would you shave it off?”

  Blake laughed. “I don’t like it either.”

  Pete began walking backwards so Lolly could see him as he signed. “Sam told me the ground freezes hard here in the winter. I want to start breaking ground for the new garden before it freezes to get a head start on it in the spring,” Pete said through Lolly. “But I only have old tools that were in the stables and the handles are r-o-t-t-i-n-g. Can you buy me new tools?”

  “Of course, Pete. Why don’t I come over on Monday? I’ll talk to Mrs. Banyan about taking you out of class early and you and I can go shopping for tools, a horse and maybe a carriage if there’s time.”

  “Can I go, too?” Lolly asked.

  “May I, Lolly. Of course, you can come. Someone needs to tell me what Pete has to say,” Blake said. “Is that why you came to see me today?”

  Pete shook his head while signing no but did not respond otherwise.

  “Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad to see you. I’ve missed you both.”

  As they rode home, Blake found himself looking for excuses to go in and see Meredith. He thought about yelling at her for not watching Pete and Lolly better but knew it was not her fault they snuck out to find him. He thought about asking her if she minded if he took the children out of class to shop for the horse and tools. He thought about going up just to ask her what the doctor said about the baby. He thought about just going up there to see her.

  But he couldn’t.

  He rode with Pete and Lolly until they were at the driveway that led to the house. They dismounted and Blake gave Lolly a tight hug and a kiss.

  “Don’t go, Uncle Blake,” she said with tears in her eyes. “Don’t go.”

  A lump rose in his throat and tears burned his eyes. “I-I love you, Lolly -- you and Pete both. I’ll see you on Monday.” Blake handed the reins to Pete and began the long walk back to the hotel.

  Rubbing his freshly shaven face, Blake walked into the plush Regent Arms Hotel feeling better than he felt in weeks. He couldn’t believe spending an hour in the presence of Pete and Lolly had been so good for him. It really gave him a sense of how far he’d fallen into self-pity. Blake knew there a side of him was prone to maudlin but he had always been good at covering it up – perhaps ignoring it would be more accurate. If he felt it coming on, he busied himself with activities and one of his favorite activities was pursuing a new woman.

  That wouldn’t do at all. Whether he liked it or not, no matter how mad and hurt he was, he loved Meredith. Blake stepped up to the desk and waited for Agnes to turn around.

  “Oh, Mr. Warner, I see you found a barbershop.”

  “It doesn’t matter how many times I tell that man I don’t like pomade, he always plasters my hair down with the stuff. I don’t suppose you’d send up another bath. The last thing I want is to sleep on a pillow coated with grease.”

  Agnes grinned. Rarely was Blake so loquacious. In general, he was friendly but evasive. Not that he was spilling his secrets but he was talking.

  “I’d be happy to, Mr. Warner. I believe the girls cleaned your room and change your sheets while you were out. I have to say, I couldn’t agree with you more about pomade and pillows – it’s very unsettling.”

  Blake turned to go to his room but remembered the main reason he came to the desk. “Do you have any paper I could have?” He would send a note to Meredith to tell her he intended to come for Pete and Lolly to take them shopping.

  “Of course.”

  She bent down and pulled a few sheets of ivory stationary from a shelf an
d handed it to him. Blake covered her hand with his in a tender gesture. “Thank you for coming to get me when Pete and Lolly came. Seeing them was just what I needed.”

  Agnes put her free hand on his and patted it a few times. “Those children need a father not a benefactor,” she said pointedly. “Would spending an hour with your father have been enough?”

  His expression became guarded as he wondered if she spoke in generalizations or if she knew something.

  “Oh, excuse me,” Agnes said “I didn’t mean for that to sound like it did. I’ve always assumed you were orphaned and living off your inheritance.”

  He withdrew his hand and picked up the paper. “That’s not too far from the truth. Thank you, Mrs. Donovan.”

  Before he could leave, Agnes Donovan stopped him. She handed a fat letter to him. The envelope had only his name on it but Blake recognized Meredith’s handwriting.

  “Did Pete and Lolly bring this?”

  “No, I believe it was your butler.”

  Blake did something he never did. He took two steps away from the counter and opened the envelope in Agnes’s presence. Inside were two more envelopes; one from Donna which had been addressed to both of them. It had been opened and the other one was from the lawyer in St. Joseph. Blake slid the crisp page from Donna’s envelope. It was unusually short.

  Dearest Blake and Meredith,

  The lawyer delivered these in person with the instructions to sign and notarized the pages within. Hopefully, you will instead laugh at your foolishness and toss them in the fire.

  I promise to write later but I’ve been so busy helping Hamilton with his recovery that I’ve had no time for letter writing.

  Love, Donna

  Scowling, Blake put the paper back into the envelope and checked the outer envelope for a note from Meredith he might have missed. It was empty.

  “Don’t forget to send up the bath, Mrs. Donovan.”

  Blake sat in the steaming bath long enough for the water to cool to an unpleasantly tepid temperature. He decided he did some of his best thinking in the bath. From his vantage point, he spied the envelope from the lawyer, still unopened.