Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five

by Alexa Padgett

  All the air left my lungs as I caught my first glimpse of the photo. Kai was most definitely kissing the woman. I mean, kissing. The kind that got me so hot I couldn’t help but beg for him to make love to me. Oh, God. No.

  “She’s pretty,” Paige said. “But Daddy shouldn’t kiss her even if she is pretty. He’s only supposed to kiss you.”

  “I’m sure Daddy has a good reason for this. It’s probably just a media stunt.” Please, please let that be all it was.

  Except . . . Kai’s hand was on her ass. He was groping the woman. Bile rose in my throat, hard and fast. I managed to swallow it down.

  He’d taken me at my word. We were over.

  “Is that why Daddy didn’t come home? Did you have a fight? Are you going to be mad at him now and cry all the time?” Paige’s voice was suspicious.

  “Is that . . . did that happen with your mom and dad? Before Kai and me?”

  Paige plucked at her tights. “They foughted all the time. Mommy told Daddy she wanted a dee-source and Daddy said no. He made us get in the car and go to the game, like he’d planned. Our family acks-titivies, he said. But when I woke up, he was dead.” Her lip trembled and her eyes filled. “Are you going to die, too?”

  I reached my arm back behind the seat and squeezed her hand. “No, honey. I don’t plan on it. Not at all. But . . . Kai—er, Daddy—and I have to talk some things through. Work out where we’re going to live.”

  “Because of your job?”

  I nodded, my mind whirring. Thank God I hadn’t made a decision last week before Kai came home. I’d planned to tell him about it then, along with the fact Briar Moore Crewe approached me at Paige’s party about a possible position with her company. From the moment Kai asked me to marry him, I’d been lining up pieces—as if I was preparing for our inevitable break.

  “It’s because he doesn’t say he loves you.” I closed my eyes against the heaviness pulling at my chest, the sting of tears burning behind my nose. “Daddies have to love mommies.”

  “They should,” I rasped. Clearing my throat, I said, “Kai and I both love you, Paige. That’s never going to change.”

  She pressed my palm to her cheek. “I’d like it more if Daddy loved you, too.”

  I flinched hard enough for Paige’s eyes to shoot to mine, her smile sad and all-too-knowing. I tried to smile but my chin wobbled too much.

  “So maybe that doesn’t work out. Between Kai and me, I mean.” Those words hammered against my skull, reverberated through my aching chest. “But I promise never to give up on you, Paige Luchia. Not ever.”

  “I love you, Mommy.”

  “Love you too, Paigey-girl.”

  A movement caught my eye. Sue walked toward my car with a silver-haired woman. Not now. I didn’t need to deal with Kai’s mother or Sue now.

  I closed the web browser and handed the iPad back to Paige. My hands shook, hard.

  “Look!” I exclaimed with too much gusto. My heart beat a frantic rhythm in my chest. “Miss Sue’s here to see you!” I climbed out of the car in quick, jerky movements.

  “Hi, Evie,” Sue said. She had her lips pursed in the same expression she’d used when she asked me if Kai had the staying power to make a marriage work. I’d been so angry with her that day. But, turned out, she’d been right all along. We’d lasted mere months, in fact.

  My chest ached and my breathing was labored. That didn’t happen often, but sometimes stress made me revert to the broken-ribs feeling. “I know I’m not on the top of your favorite people list, but I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes.”

  She laid her hand on my arm. It was a tentative, gentle touch. I swallowed down the coffee that wanted to come back up. She’d seen the pictures. She knew.

  Kai’s mother’s eyes were sad, her mouth pulled into a tight ugly line. “Evangeline. A pleasure to meet you and your daughter.” She pulled me forward into a hug that was softer, kinder than I’d expected. “He doesn’t mean to hurt you,” she whispered. “It’s just what he does naturally.”

  Much as I wanted to deny her words, they struck a chord that continued to reverberate. Kai’s actions decimated me. But how could his mother know that?

  Unless . . . unless he’d expected less than he deserved his whole life, like Nessa and Abbi told me. He was simply living up to her lackluster expectations because she’d never given him a reason to expect more.

  “Mrs. Luchia,” I said, my voice clipped.

  Hearing the reserve, Kai’s mother pulled back and searched my eyes. “Ah. You love him. More the fool you are for it. He’ll just hurt you again.”

  I nodded once, unsure how to respond.

  “Yeah. So. Look.” I sighed. “Thanks for coming by. I appreciate the show of solidarity, but it’s probably best if Paige and I . . .”

  I exhaled through my nose, unable to risk opening my mouth. Paige raced ahead of Mrs. Luchia toward the front steps. I swallowed again, managing to force the disgusting concoction down my throat once again.

  A car pulled in behind mine. Abbi jumped out, followed by Nessa. Behind them were Briar and Abbi’s mother, Lia.

  “I thought you could use some support right now,” Sue said.

  Abbi and Nessa slammed into me hard, my eyes blinking back the emotion building in my eyes, threatening to spill over. Paige skipped out of the house, clapping her hands as her eyes widened. “A party! We’re having a party.”

  A pity party with me as the main attraction. I pulled back, my smile as brittle as my heart.

  “Nice to see you,” I said to Briar and Lia. “May I get you something to drink?”

  “That’d be great,” Briar said. She and Lia ushered the rest of us into the house, probably aware I was about to become the center of a paparazzi blood bath—something they and Abbi had all experienced.

  Paige bounced up next to me, a happy smile on her face. She slid her palm into mine and I squeezed. We’d progressed so far, she and I. No way I was letting Kai’s cheating take that from us.

  My neck still tensed and my stomach jittered. I’d just met Kai’s mother for the first time, and I’d done it alone, mortified by his callousness. I didn’t care for Mrs. Luchia. No wonder she and Sue were friends. They were cut from the same judgmental cloth.

  Except . . . except this time they’d been right. My hand fisted into the soft cotton of my T-shirt right over my belly. Sue, seeing my distress, hustled Mrs. Luchia out of the house much sooner than she would have left otherwise.

  While I’d thanked Mrs. Luchia for stopping by and meeting Paige, I hadn’t been as enthusiastic about the entire encounter as I probably should be. But . . . Kai had proven with his actions last night that I wasn’t a fixture in his life, let alone his family.

  “Give him time,” Sue said as she bent down to hug me goodbye. Once again, I’d stiffened in her presence.

  “He’s had time. In fact, he’s spent most of our marriage away from me. Sure, that was our deal, but last night, he made his point.” I stepped back, unfisting my hands. I forced a smile I didn’t feel. But glowering at Sue and Kai’s mother wouldn’t solve my problems and, more importantly, wasn’t polite. Just because Kai crushed my heart didn’t mean I had to be rude. “But I am glad to have met you. Kai has told me stories of his childhood. He definitely cares for you.”

  “Not as much as he cares about you.” Sue chucked my chin. Her face settled into seriousness. “Please, Evie, he’s been through a lot.” Her eyes darted toward Mrs. Luchia, a scowl forming between her brows.

  With that, Sue hustle toward her car where it idled at the curb. The two women waved so I lifted my hand in return, hating knowing they were talking about me.

  Nessa held up the Realtor pamphlet from the counter. “D.C.?” Hurt laced her tone.

  “I told you I had a job offer there,” I replied. “I have to give them an answer soon, which coincides with registering Paige for kindergarten.”

  Briar and Lia exchanged a long look before turning to include Abbi in their silent communica
tion.

  “My specialty makes me the perfect candidate, and the director can get the research in front of her colleagues at Cornell and Harvard. I have a shot at some of the most prestigious journals, which will make my career. I’m heading there with Paige next weekend to look around. See if it’s what I want,” I said, pulling back to wrap my arms around my middle.

  “I know you didn’t ask, but, Evie, we think you’re making a mistake—leaving,” Briar said.

  “Have you talked to Kai?” Abbi asked. “Since . . .” She flapped her arm in a way I assumed meant the Jeanine Waters incident.

  “No.”

  “He hasn’t called to talk to Paige?” Lia’s voice was higher and thinner than normal. Concern leached into her eyes.

  I rubbed my palms up and down my chilled arms. “No.”

  Their gazes turned pitying. I hated pity. I’d been the brunt of that nasty emotion enough when the teachers and counselors at my school found out I had a strung-out mom.

  “So I’m strongly considering the possibility of moving. The pay’s good, the work seems to be created for me. I’ve missed the lab work all summer, and I can’t wait to get back into research.”

  “But what about Kai?” Abbi asked. “And Paige?”

  “Kai and I will have to come to some kind of a custody-sharing agreement.”

  Briar frowned. She set her glass down on the counter. “You haven’t spoken with him about that?”

  I laughed, but the sound was abrasive even to my ears. “He walked out. On both of us.”

  “Wow,” Lia mumbled, her brows pulling together. Her gray eyes were clouded with worry.

  “I don’t want to talk about him,” I said.

  Briar put her hand over my fist. “I get that. I respect your need for privacy, too.”

  I met Briar’s gaze. She had the bluest eyes, filled with compassion. At least with Briar, I didn’t have to worry about judgment or pity. She’d been through a media hurricane of much greater epic proportions right after she and Hayden Crewe, one of the world’s hottest musicians, started dating.

  “So I hoped you’d stick around for another reason. I told you I need someone who understands the drugs and side effects being given as well as the types of cells being impacted. Your degree in pharmacology does that, but more importantly, you understand the psychiatry of grief, how it’s impacted by diagnoses, stress, and the drugs. And you explained those concepts to me that I’d been struggling with for years. No one else has been able to do that. That’s why I really, really want you to work for me.”

  “I—wow.” I blinked at her, unsure what to say. “I assumed you were just being nice.”

  Briar scoffed. “I’m not that nice. And there aren’t that many candidates with your qualifications. I’ve looked.”

  I shook my head. “Staying here.” I sucked in a breath. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Because you’re hurt and embarrassed?” Nessa asked. “I’m so going to ream Kai.”

  “No you’re not,” I said, my voice hard. “You are not going to say anything to him about this. He made his choice.” My chin quivered. “He told me before . . . before we married he wasn’t ever going to love me.” I looked around, my eyes stinging with the tears I was desperate to hold back. “I need to check on Paige.”

  Without waiting for an answer, I ran from the room. After a few minutes of crying in the bathroom—Paige was on her tummy on her bed, playing with her dolls—I washed my face and walked back out to the kitchen, chin up. Sure, these women all knew I’d been crying, but I couldn’t hide my heartbreak.

  And with Nes and Abbi, even Lia and Briar, I didn’t need to. They understood.

  “It’ll be at least another couple of months before we need someone on staff full time, which makes the timing pretty ideal to get Paige settled in school and you and Kai to work out custody,” Briar said as if I hadn’t taken time out to sob in my bathroom.

  Her lip curled up briefly, and my stomach plummeted. I craved Briar’s respect, her seeing me as a colleague, an equal. Not the cheated-on pathetic wife at home.

  “I can’t take the job you offered me. Paige doesn’t need to deal with the media fallout that’s going to come with those pictures and our divorce. I think it’s best I leave Seattle, get away from the paparazzi.”

  “Do you think that’s smart?” Nessa nibbled her lip. “I don’t mean to pry, but if Paige is already handling things poorly, how much worse is it going to be when she realizes she won’t see Kai? When she has to leave behind the friends she’s just made.”

  “I already talked to Abbi and Marilyn about the position,” Briar said. “They thought you’d be great with the families. Part of that is the time you put in at the coffee shop, dealing with customers, but I think you have to have an inherent empathy, which is why you focused on the counseling as well as the molecular sciences.” She took my hand, squeezing it just enough to soothe. “I’d planned to talk to you about the position even before the situation with Kai hit the sites today. You’d be an asset to my group. And I’d be flexible with your work schedule, especially if you and Kai split up.” There it was again, the slight curl to her lip, the drop in her voice. “Because God knows that boy is acting like a moron and deserves you to dump his sorry butt.”

  Wait. What? I gaped.

  Abbi slid her arm around my shoulder. “Aunt Bri has a point. That’s part of why Nes and I came by today as soon as we heard about this. To let you know we’re not letting you go as our friend, no matter what happens with Kai.”

  Nessa smacked a kiss to my opposite cheek. “We love you, Evie. If Kai can’t get his head out of his own ass, you shouldn’t stick with him. I mean, Kai’s a great guy, but he’s treated you like crap. So solidarity.”

  Nessa held up her fist, and I bumped it, off-center thanks to my clouded vision. I sniffed hard, refusing to let my emotions get away from me again.

  “I . . . thanks, Briar. Abbi, Nessa. Thank you.”

  “I really like you, Evie,” Briar said. “Paige will do better if you stay here, near Kai, even if you and he aren’t living together.”

  She had a valid point. One I hadn’t wanted to address because of how much Kai hurt me with his wandering lips and hands.

  Briar tipped her head toward the paperwork from the lab in D.C. I’d pulled out last night to go over after Paige finally fell asleep. “Whatever that offer is, I’ll make you a comparable one.”

  My jaw dropped. “Oh, no. You don’t have to.”

  Briar’s smile lit up her whole face. “I kind of do. Like I said, your dual degree isn’t common. So take that under advisement. And since we’re working with the hospital, the health benefits are some of the best in the industry. Might want to take those into consideration since I know Paige sees both a counselor and a psychiatrist.”

  I struggled to rein in my emotions. Briar’s offer was too good to be true. By far the best one I’d gotten. And it would allow me to stay near Marilyn, which I desperately wanted. Paige would be able to stay in the same neighborhood, go to the same therapist she’d already built a rapport with. I’d be in a position to buy Kai out of the house.

  I pressed my hand back to my queasy stomach. Too much had happened today. I’d officially surpassed struggling and into overload. I tucked my palms in the back pocket of my jeans. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to put my daughter to bed.”

  “Are you feeling okay?” Concern tightened the skin around Abbi’s eyes.

  I waved her off as I stood. “Just tired. Paige isn’t sleeping well. Which means I’m not sleeping well.”

  I walked away without looking back. Sometimes that was the only choice.

  20

  Kai

  “I can’t believe you undermined your relationship with Evangeline. And with an actress. Could you be any more 90’s lame-ass?” Jenna barked as soon as I answered the phone.

  “You never took my calls.” I scratched the side of my head. Jenna was fun and she was my friend, but she hadn�
�t cross my mind often. Well, until I realized how much I screwed up with Evie.

  Jenna’s sigh was harsh. “Don’t use our non-relationship to screw up the one you have with Evie. In fact, if I wasn’t messed up, I think Evie would be my bestie even more so than Nes. But don’t tell Nes I said that.”

  “What . . . how?”

  “I’ve FaceTimed with Nessa a couple weeks ago and she was over at Evie’s playing beauty shop with Paige. Who is beyond cuteness level nine thousand,” Jenna said, and in typical Jenna fashion, her words didn’t really make sense.

  “How’d Evie take that?” And why hadn’t she mentioned anything?

  “Evie’s a cool chick. I dig her. You’re lucky she looked your way once.”

  “I never really talked to her about us. I mean, not that there was really an us as a couple.”

  “I set the chica straight. Let your wife know, you and I, we were never anything. I explained how you used me to shield yourself from actually feeling for someone else.”

  “I did do that.”

  “Duh. So, call this my blessing or whatever. Oh, and I will come up there and kick your ass if you hurt her again. Remember my bat? I still have it, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  “I hear you,” I said. “We’re still friends?”

  Her voice was softer but steadier. “That’s all we ever were.”

  “Bye, Jen.”

  She clicked off without another word. Jenna didn’t like to say goodbye. Probably because of how close she’d come to dying.

  I love you, Kai.

  Evie ruined everything with those words. Why did she have to say them? Why did I feel so twisted up, so guilty for not saying them back? How could I look into her beautiful green eyes and not see disappointment? And eventually, the same resentment and bitterness that filled my mother’s eyes every time she looked at me.

  I dropped my head into my hands, feeling even worse now than I had when I sat on the side of my bed four nights ago.