Wolfsong

by Kodilynn Calhoun

  But my family… My face was probably plastered in the news and on the internet with big red letters: MISSING. How was Mom managing, knowing that I’d gone missing and never came back? Did she think I’d left of my own free will? Did she think I’d been kidnapped? Abused and raped and buried somewhere out west? I shuddered at the ideas, the thoughts she must have. And Shae…

  I felt the familiar bump of a shoulder against mine as I stood among the falling snowflakes, gazing out into the murky green winter waters of Lake Kalla. I tilted my head to the side, taking in Arii in all of her splendor: Wind burned cheeks and pink nose, hair growing out into choppy blondee waves once again, lining her pixie cheeks. And those damnably mesmerizing eyes.

  I sighed a little, my breath a puff of white and reached for her hand. It was warm, secure in my grip and we just stood there for a little while.

  “What’s going on, Kia?” She squeezed my fingers between hers. It made my heart jump, even after being together for this long. However long this was. I smiled a little wistfully and listened to the bare tree branches sway in a gust of wind. No car noise, no pollution. Just a simple, quiet world.

  But did I belong here?

  “I can’t quit thinking about my Mom,” I finally said, and the words came out bitter on my tongue. “Yuri, the pastry vendor? I see her red hair every day in the marketplace and I see my mother. I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. Who knows what she thinks. First Dad left, and now me…”

  Arii frowned, but said nothing, and I felt a tremor of anger rise up, a tendril of fire wrapping around my heart.

  “What would you think, Arii, if Aliel went out for a run and then…vanished, right out from under your nose. No trace of him.” My eyes met hers, locked in.

  She dropped her gaze. “I’d think the worst. That the Rashti had gotten him. I’d think of him in pain, shackled to a wall, welts and scars lining his body. I’d think of his beautiful eyes filled with agony, begging his captors to set him free, to end it.” She took in a shuddering breath and I realized how much it affected her, thinking of this.

  “I’d pray to Skoll that he was safe…every fucking night.”

  “But you’d never know. You wouldn’t know if someone had kidnapped him into another realm because you’d never think to think that.” I turned towards her, taking her other hand in mine, pulling her to me. I heard the softest of whimpers come up her throat.

  “I just… I don’t know. I wish they knew where I was. That I was safe. I wouldn’t tell them what I was, or where I’ve been. Mom would never believe me, but I just wish…”

  My words trailed off as Arii stood on her tiptoes, her chapped lips pressing against mine. I kissed her back, gently, sweetly. She tasted of sugar and bubblegum. I wrapped both arms around her, tucking her close to me and when she drew her mouth back from mine, she pushed her face into the crook of my neck.

  “I understand…” Her breath was warm against my cool skin. “I…I don’t want to let you go, but I understand. If it were Aliel stolen away from me, I’d want him back. I’d want to know.”

  She broke away, turning from me. She took in a deep, sniffling breath before spinning on me again. Her blue eyes were wide and bright with unshed tears. She took my hands in hers, pulled them to her chest and kissed the knuckles. “It’s not my right to set you free. You know that. Tallys will kill me.”

  My heart skipped a beat at her words. I felt breathless. “He doesn’t have to know.”

  “How will I hide the fact that our prince is gone, so close to being crowned Alpha?”

  “If you can open the portal, I can go see my family. I can tell them that I’m safe but that I have to go. They’ll be hurt, but…I have to ease their fears. Even if I die as king…” I shuddered and didn’t complete the sentence. Even if I died, they would never know. They would still think me safe. I kissed Arii quickly.

  “Are you going to do this for me?” The words left me in a rush.

  She nodded almost frantically. “I will, Kia. But we can’t just do this. We have to have a plan.” She let me go and began to pace, her boots making a line of imprints in the fresh snow. It crunched with each step she took.

  “Meet me at the graveyard at midnight. I’ll open the gateway there. You can slip through, do your thing, and come back. I’ll wait on your side to open the gate.” She paused, looking into my eyes. “You’ll come back…won’t you?”

  I paused. Coming back would mean I was ready to settle down on this side. Coming back would mean responsibilities as king and maybe someday, a war with the Rashti. I could stay on my side—deplete my savings and go on the run, a vagabond that Tallys might never find.

  But looking into Arii’s eyes, I couldn’t. The idea of never kissing her again was unbearable. “I promise,” I said, my voice thick in my throat. I felt tears burn my eyes, a hard pressure in my skull. “Thank you, Arii. I know you’re risking it all.”

  She smiled and it turned into a simmering smirk. “We’re both risking it all. We’re gonna get chewed out so bad once they realize we’re gone.” Her eyes flashed and I chuckled at her defiance. She was right: Tallys would be pissed. If anything else, furious that we’d disobeyed him. I cast a quick glance around, but the forest surrounding us was still and silent.

  “Midnight?” I squeezed her hands in mine, my heart pounding in my temples.

  “Midnight. Play it cool. Act like you wanna go to bed early, so you don’t tip anyone off, then slip away. I’ll be waiting.” She pulled away from me, nerves dancing along her irises. I nodded slowly and she shifted into a wolf—into Del—and fled into the trees. I watched her disappear before taking a gulp of breath.

  Ready or not…here we come.

  ***

  Midnight came as slow as molasses, the minutes trudging by with acidic glares at me. I could barely stomach dinner, sitting with Arii and Aliel and making small talk. Appearing to be normal as Arii rested her head on my shoulder and I put spoonfuls of soup into my mouth, avoiding the looks of disgust some of the other wolves threw at us. Aliel raised a brow when I excused myself for bed, but said nothing. I slipped away from the horde of voices and into the silence of my hallway.

  “Silverwind.” The voice was like an arrow into my rapidly pulsing heart. I stumbled, caught myself, and spun on the Elder. His deep gold eyes bore into me.

  I stood there for a second, feeling awkward, feeling like my heart was gonna speed up and out of my throat, so I kept my mouth clamped shut. “Mm?” I finally managed. Nice, Kia. Smooth.

  He lifted a brow and sighed. “You’re coming quite far in your training. Zephyr says you’re ready to switch sparring partners because you know young Szarsa’s moves, and my daughter speaks highly of you.”

  That made me snort. “Sikta?” Were we talking about the same daughter, the same I-loathe-your-existence daughter here?

  “I’ll admit, she doesn’t exactly fancy you. You resemble Kitane too much and…well, that bridge has been burned. She’ll never like you, but you’re slowly earning her respect. She tests you every step of the way and you suck it up and take it and you don’t bitch.” He smirked, shades of Sikta.

  “And she says you’re strong, stronger than she’d imagined you’d be for a half-breed.”

  “I’m trying my best,” I said. “But when you’re faced with the ultimatum of ‘learn how to fight or get killed by the enemy’, you learn quick. Even with the pain she puts me through.” I reached up to touch the healing scar across the bridge of my nose.

  He shook his head. “She’s a viper like her mother.” Tallys’s eyes softened a little. Arii had told me Brennekah had died in a tragic hunting accident, and that Tallys had never truly forgiven himself. He cleared his throat and grew distant once again.

  “That’s beside the point. We need to move things up, initiate you as Alpha as soon as possible.”

  My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him. “Why?”

  “Kanzi’s been putting feelers out. I haven’t said anything because it would alarm t
he pack, but Lyra’s found marks in our territory. They’re getting braver, which means an attack is bound to happen. Kanzi’s unstable and the sooner you’re king, the better off we’ll be.”

  I nodded numbly, though the reality was still crashing around me like a wave. They told me that if Kanzi attacked while Altehrei had no reigning Alpha, our warriors would react haphazardly. They needed the calm confidence of their leader to guide them, a beacon through the night. The beacon was me.

  “The following full moon is your initiation. That gives us a few weeks for preparations…” He patted my shoulder, his hand a heavy weight.

  “I may not act like it, but I believe you’ll follow in your father’s footsteps. You’re a good choice.” He made a huffing sound, and without another word, he turned and hobbled down the hall. I took a few breaths to calm my mind, then locked myself in my room.

  I drew a bath and soaked amidst bubbles until my skin was pruned. I dressed casual—thin black slacks with golden tribal stitching up the seam and a loose cotton shirt. I shaved the stubble off my chin and cheeks with a razor and flopped down on the bed, eyes locked on the ancient clock across the room.

  When the clock struck midnight, I quickly laced up my boots and pulled on my coat. I glanced down the hall—the coast was clear—and headed out the back way, buttoning my jacket as I strode down the halls. I saw the flickers of firelight and a few silhouettes, but I moved in the shadows, practicing silence.

  The graveyard was a large patch of ground with small stones jutting to about calf-height. Each stone bore the name of a deceased loved one. My father didn’t have a grave, simply because there had been no body to bury.

  I shivered against the chill on the wind, though I warmed when I saw Arii. Her legs were bare beneath her long dress, jacket wrapped tight around her. She saw me coming and met me halfway. I crashed into her, hugging her closer, feeling her warmth against my chest, and our hearts beat in rapid succession.

  I pulled away first and took a deep breath. “Are you ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” She pulled her long, curved dagger from the sheath at her side and opened a palm so the skin was pulled taut. I winced as the blade sliced into her flesh, a clean line of blood welling up and sprinkling to the snow below. She began to murmur something, words I couldn’t catch, and held out her hand. For a moment, nothing happened. My breath hitched in my throat and I watched, rapt.

  Then her blood began to glimmer, as if imbued with light. It spread out, fanning against the very air. The air sizzled and gleamed and I felt a tugging at my heart, the compulsion to reach out and touch it.

  Slowly, a doorway opened up—I could see the other side, the ground laden with snow, light streaming from between the blinds. My heart ached. My house. I saw shadows just inside the room. My family…

  Arii glanced at me, dropping her arm. I reached out and crushed her to me, kissing her long and hard, my teeth nipping at her lips. She bit me back, love nibbles.

  “I love you.” I meant it—at that moment, I’d never loved anyone more.

  “Go!” she growled, but she wore a smile.

  I needed no further spurring. I reached for my home just as a scream shattered the silence like a mirror.

  Chapter Thirteen

  As I reached for the gateway, a chorus of shrieks rose up, hysterical and horrible from behind us, back in the village. Arii’s face twisted in shock as she turned.

  “Rashti…” she whispered, reaching for her blade. Then to me, “Go Kia, hurry!”

  God, I was so close. Just two steps forwards and I’d be through. I reached for her.

  “Come with me…”

  “I can’t. This is my home, my pack. I can’t just leave them.” Her words trembled at the end as someone screamed. There was a war cry and several shouts echoed in the air.

  “Why not? They treat you and Al like crap anyway.”

  “I just…” Arii shot me a look as she swung the blade dangerously close to my arm. I released her, pulling away despite the pang in my chest. “Go. I’ll shut it behind you.”

  “Arii…” My head spun in rapid circles. How could she expect me to just leave her? I glanced between her and the shimmering gateway for a second’s time, weighing my decision. Go home and leave her behind, or stay and fight? Safety loomed within my reach.

  I took a step towards the gateway just as a shadow lurched out of the forest behind Arii. I opened my mouth to shout a warning, but his hands were already around her waist, dragging her backwards. She cried out, her blade dropping from her grasp.

  I didn’t give the gate a second glance—I lunged forwards with a snarl as the man pinned Arii to the ground, straddling her. His laugh was cold, riddled with cruel excitement. She thrashed, kicking, her mouth open in a scream. I saw the flash of claws and white fur as he swung his hand down toward her.

  “Picking on a woman?” My hand grabbed his, twisting his arm backward with more force than was probably necessary. He gave a sharp cry of surprise and his silvery eyes narrowed.

  I danced backward on fleet feet and he followed me, a growl on the air. I felt claws slash against my neck and pain surged to the surface, but it wasn’t any worse than the wounds I’d received from Sikta.

  My gaze flicked to Arii, just for a moment, but it was a moment wasted. The man lunged at me, throwing all of his weight against my chest. I staggered backward, feeling myself fall in slow motion. My back connected with the hard earth and the breath left me in a whoosh. I felt my wolf kick, begging for release, and I instinctively started to shift. The man’s hands were hot on my neck.

  My vision blurred and suddenly, I was no longer in the graveyard, looking into the quicksilver eyes of the Rashti warrior. My reality twisted and I felt like I was floating. Then images began to shutter through my mind, unbidden, with people and places I’d never seen before.

  A scream rose up and I saw a woman stumbling backwards clad in only skin. Scars criss-crossed over her body and her eyes were wide with terror. A man lurched forwards, claws extended—a wolf-man hybrid with a coat of pure white. His claws sliced across her flesh, rivulets of crimson streaking her skin. She screamed again and his hands clamped around her neck. Her eyes rolled back in her head as he sank fangs still partially human into the pale flesh of her throat.

  My vision shifted.

  I saw a half-grown wolf pup with eyes tulip yellow, her ears pinned against her skull, mouth opened in a frantic pant. Three larger wolves leapt out of the shadows, chasing the pup through the woods.

  The youth stumbled, crying out as her leg twisted. One wolf pinned her, fangs against her neck, and flipped her as the other two buried their muzzles into the soft flesh of her underbelly. Her screech was horrific, agonizing as they tore intestine from her still writhing form. Blood splashed the ground, splattering their fur and slicking the grass. They threw back their heads in a frenzied howl and the vision dimmed once again.

  I saw the cruel, wild eyes of a man—Hati’s Sight, one blue eye and one grey. The eyes narrowed and a slow, sick smirk spread across thin lips as he stepped towards a slave huddling in the shadows. He laughed, a coughing sound as his claw-tipped fingers reached for the man’s face.

  He tilted it up and I looked into eyes so gold, so defiant, but full of pain. The man’s skin was pale as ivory and his hair was dark, tangled and matted against his head. A scar ran from the apex of his cheek and down past his jaw line.

  I knew that face.

  My heart slammed to a stop in my chest as Kanzi— it could only be Kanzi—smirked down at my father. Kitane was shackled at the hands, secured to the wall with thick iron chains that rattled and clanked. His shoulder was torn open, a long gash of a wound that teemed with infection, and several bloodied bandages wrapped around one of his legs, merely a stump hacked off at the knee.

  But he was alive.

  I shuddered, pressing my eyes shut. The visions ebbed away.

  Suddenly, the Rashti warrior gave a howl and I felt a splatter of hot blood against my c
heeks. The smell was enough to make me gag. My eyes slammed open to see Arii, a feral look on her face, one hand tangled in the warrior’s mass of blond hair and her blade slick with blood. His throat was slit, slashed by the dagger. His eyes rolled back in his head as his heart pumped helplessly, spurting blood to soak both us and the snow.

  I staggered back and retched, my throat raw. Arii knelt at my side, arms wrapping around me. She kept whispering words in my ear, but my mind buzzed with such force I didn’t understand.

  “Kia’la, Ariiantha!” I glanced away from the dead man, his empty eyes staring into my soul. My mind churned with images, but they were slowly fading to black. Lyra’s eyes were wide with anger and impatience.

  “Why the hell are you out here? You could’ve been killed!” Her sword was tight in her grip, already dripping with blood. I shuddered and thought of my father. Was that…real? Was he truly dying somewhere, a captive to the Rashti? I retched again and felt Arii rub my back.

  “C’mon, Kia.”

  I stumbled to my feet, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, my stomach churning. She tugged me along, past Lyra, who darted into the woods. She was so close to having her child. She shouldn’t have been fighting. I stared after her, but she’d already engaged another wolf in battle. Arii pushed me along and together we made it back to the Den.

  I saw Scythe’s red hair through the crowd as we burst through the door. I smelled the tinge of copper in the air, as well as the scent of fear rolling off the wolves around me. I slipped through the crowd with Arii at my side, gripping my arm like a vice.

  “Oh, thank Skoll,” Scythe breathed out. He clamped me in a hug. “Don’t scare us like that, Kia.” And I felt a trickle of guilt because here he was, truly worried about me, and I’d damn near left this world behind. “You look like hell. You okay?”

  I started to shake my head, but I was alright. I was alive. The memories of the visions were lessening now with the din of the pack. Maybe it was just a freak accident, what I saw, but… I shuddered and nodded.