The Voice

by Jennifer Anne Davis

  Through it all, though, only the voice knew.

  It was hard to remember specific conversations—we’d had so many. Once he found me, we spent almost every single day together, talking. He would always start the conversation out the same, including one day I remembered well.

  You awake? the voice asked.

  “Yeah,” I responded. I had no idea whether it was day or night. Rolling over, I tried to find a comfortable position on the mattress. It was difficult with my wrists bound.

  It’s 11:00 A.M. on Wednesday, August 12.

  Wow. I’d been gone six weeks by then, and the voice had been visiting me for almost a month. I had asked his name before, but he hadn’t answered. There were certain questions he avoided, like who, where, or what he was.

  Did Bill come last night after we talked?

  “No.” I stretched out my legs. I had never been much of a runner, but what I wouldn’t have given to run right then. I hated being in the cramped room. My legs screamed for exercise.

  So he’s been away for two days?

  “I guess.” It was hard to keep track of time. Everything ran together. I looked toward the door. The loaf of bread was gone, the water bottle empty. I hadn’t eaten since the day before. “Are you there?” I asked.

  I’m here.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He’ll be there tonight.

  His voice was laced with pain and anger. How did he know Bill was coming?

  There’s a pattern. I’ve been tracking when he comes. So far, it’s every Wednesday and Saturday. Saturday he stays the night, and he leaves Sunday evening. At least, it’s been that way for the last three weeks. He usually arrives around 9:00 P.M.

  “What are you thinking? About the pattern, I mean.”

  Assuming he’s done with work around six, he goes home to eat and change, then he comes to see you. You must be about two hours from his apartment. There’s a lot of wilderness around there. I wish we could narrow it down.

  My head began to swim in darkness. I felt like I had hundred pound weights tied to my feet and I was sinking into a dark lake. No matter how hard I fought, I was going down, and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it.

  Are you okay?

  “No.” I needed to focus on something else, especially if he was coming that night.

  I promise you—I’ll find a way out.

  “My family always goes to Kennywood amusement park on August 12, my dad’s birthday. He insists we go with him every year.”

  You have three older brothers?

  “Yes. I’m the youngest.” I didn’t want to think about them; it hurt too much.

  What food do you miss the most?

  “Just one?” I laughed. “That’s hard. Right now, I’d go for anything that’s not bread.”

  I’d miss pizza.

  “I miss eggs and bacon. Mom makes it every Sunday.”

  Your family seems close.

  “We are. What about yours?”

  You said you’re going to be a senior. Where do you want to go to college?

  “University of Pittsburgh. My brother goes there and it’s close to home.”

  Our conversations would continue that way for hours, jumping from one topic to the next. The voice would often avoid answering my questions, but he never failed to ask me all sorts of intimate details about my life.

  Slowly I began to trust the voice, and I realized that he embodied everything I wanted in a boyfriend: safety, friendship, intelligence, and love. There was, beyond a doubt, love in that voice. And I loved him. So kissing Caleb, although a relief, made me feel guilty, like I was cheating on the voice, which only validated the fact that I was crazy and really should have been talking to a shrink.

  Chapter 15

  “Want to go shopping?” Kate asked the next morning.

  I finished chewing my mouthful of pancakes—they were so good. Kate was a genius in the kitchen.

  “Sure,” I replied, shoving another bite in my mouth.

  “So,” Kate began. Oh great. Anything beginning with “so”usually meant she was fishing for information. “Sarah said Caleb and his girlfriend broke up.”

  “They did.” Another bite. Stop talking and let me eat, please.

  “And?” she probed.

  “And what?”

  “Well, what about the two of you? He seems to pay a lot of attention to you.”

  I almost spit out my food. If it weren’t so good, I might have. I swallowed and coughed. “We’re friends. That’s all. Caleb has a lot of girls that he’s friendly with.” That’s just the way he was. While Justin couldn’t be bothered to speak to me and only paid attention to that one girl.

  The house phone rang. I grabbed it before Kate could ask me anything else.

  “Audrey.” It was stalker guy.

  I froze. Why had I even answered it? I shook my head at my own stupidity.

  “I can hear you breathing,” he said. “I know you’re there. You don’t have to say anything, just listen carefully.” He was cold and businesslike. I put the phone on speaker so Kate could hear. She grabbed her cell and recorded the call. “I’m wondering why you haven’t told the DA the truth. That you went with Bill willingly. That you ran away from home, but you were too afraid when you were found, so you lied. It’s gotten out of hand, and you want to tell the truth now, don’t you?”

  “Go to hell!”

  I was going to end the call when he continued, “Bret has a nice new car, doesn’t he?”

  How did he know that? I had no idea what to say. I hated having my family drawn into this. How could I protect them from him when I couldn’t even protect myself?

  “Until next time,” he finished.

  “I’ve already dialed the police,” Kate said. “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay.”

  The walls felt like they were closing in on me. Pushing past Kate, I stumbled outside into the fresh air and open space. What was I going to do? I was so screwed. What if Bill paid someone to beat up Bret? He could probably arrange something like that from jail. Or maybe Bill sent this stalker guy to kidnap me. Or to rape me. I couldn’t go through that again.

  My body trembled.

  “Please help me,” I begged the voice.

  Audrey, calm down. It’s okay.

  “No, it’s not. Nothing is okay.”

  It will be. I promise. Just know that I’m watching out for you. Even if you don’t feel me or hear me, I’m with you. Okay?

  “I need you.”

  I know.

  I heard people talking inside. Glancing through the sliding glass door, I saw Kate and Sarah flipping through a photo album. Kate pulled out a picture and handed it to her. When they left the room, I went in and looked at the album. The missing picture had a caption below it. Olivia, Timothy, and Bill. Christmas 2008. A picture of my parents and Bill. Why would Sarah want that? The thought made me cringe.

  Later that day, Kate walked me next door. I didn’t want to go there, but Kate was meeting Mike for dinner to sort through some financial stuff. Since I couldn’t be left alone, there I was being babysat. Thankfully Caleb and Justin weren’t going to be home—they were at a party and wouldn’t be back until late, and Kate didn’t expect to be gone long.

  Sarah answered the door, welcoming me in. After Kate left, I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to say or do. Should’ve brought a book or homework with me.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Sarah said. “It’s nice to have a girl in the house.”

  I still couldn’t get over how young Sarah looked. She must’ve had the boys when she was still in high school.

  “I got you something Californian,” Sarah said, leading me into the kitchen.

  Sitting on the table were two white bags with “In-N-Out” on the side. “Cheeseburgers, milkshakes, and fries. Best ever.”

  We sat and ate. The food was beyond delicious. We didn’t have this burger place back home. I would have to add it to the list of things I’d miss about San Diego.

&nb
sp; “Do you like school?” Sarah asked.

  My mouth was full, so I nodded.

  “Make many friends?”

  I nodded again. I’d have to make sure I kept my mouth full in order to avoid talking.

  When I finished everything, including every drop of the chocolate milkshake, Sarah tried again.

  “I don’t want to overstep my place, but I do know what happened to you.” I hadn’t expected her to be so blunt. I didn’t respond. “I understand you’re not talking to anyone about it. Either professionally or with your family.” How did she know that? Thanks, Kate.

  Sarah pushed on, “You know, there are peer support groups if you don’t want to talk to an adult or a therapist about it.” I was feeling cornered. “This must be very difficult for you, but there are others out there who have experienced what you have.”

  “Yeah, because you hear about people being kidnapped and raped all the time,” I said a little too harshly.

  “Audrey, you’d be surprised how many people have been sexually abused. One in four girls is sexually assaulted by the time she’s seventeen. And that’s only what’s reported. You’re not alone. You should go to a support group, just to see. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than people you know. Especially if those strangers have had similar experiences.”

  Like I could confide in others about this. Like I wanted to hear other people’s horror stories. I’d had enough to last more than a lifetime, thank you. “I appreciate your concern, I really do. But this isn’t something I want to discuss.”

  “Okay,” Sarah said. She got up and cleared off the table. “You don’t want to talk. That’s obvious. Do you want to watch a movie?”

  After flipping through the channels, we settled on a romantic comedy.

  When it was over, Sarah yawned. “I’m heading to bed. Are you going to be okay downstairs by yourself?”

  “No problem. I’ll just hang out here until Kate gets me.”

  I must have been dreaming, because I heard the voice. He was talking to Caleb, probably about the kiss. I would have to explain to the voice that it meant nothing. I didn’t feel that way about Caleb.

  “What’s the matter?” Caleb asked.

  I can’t stand this. It’s getting harder and harder to block her from my mind. Even now, it feels like she’s here with me.

  How I wished I were there with him.

  “She won’t be here much longer. Then you’ll get your way and be rid of her.”

  Why would he want to get rid of me?

  Don’t start with me again.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to let her get away. You’re an idiot, and you’ll regret it,” Caleb said.

  I was having trouble following my dream.

  It’s for the best. And I don’t want to talk about it.

  “Are you afraid she’ll reject you?” Caleb asked.

  There was some noise, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. A refrigerator door closing? I gave up trying to follow along. Dreams rarely made any sense.

  “I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow,” Caleb said, annoyed.

  It sounded like someone plopped down in the leather chair next to the couch where I was lying.

  Crap!

  It sounded like he was next to me.

  Audrey? You awake?

  I wanted to say yes, but couldn’t respond. Still sleeping, I had no control over this strange dream.

  My mental image of the twins’ house morphed into my special place back home, where I went when I needed to be alone. In the forest behind my house, just past the stream, was a tree so large that its branches touched the ground. I could easily climb to the top. It was the perfect place to read, think, or just be alone. I went there often.

  You told me.

  That’s right. During my captivity, I had shared my special place with him. I pictured myself there now, high in the tree, hidden by leaves. The smell of dirt mixed with pine. I wanted to share my special place with the voice, only I wanted him to be real.

  My dream took a turn for the better when I felt a warm hand brush my cheek. I smiled. The hand traced the side of my face, my shoulder, my arm. He took a hold of my hand. If only I could put a face to him.

  “Stay, please stay,” I murmured.

  You would never understand. He placed my hand back down. I felt lips brush my forehead.

  My eyes slowly opened. I was still at Sarah’s on the couch, the room dark and empty. My forehead tingled.

  Chapter 16

  I woke up to the smell of burnt toast and cussing. Glancing around, I realized I was still at the twins’ house. There was a text on my cell from Kate—it was after midnight when she got back, so she’d get me in the morning. Well, it was daylight; where was she?

  Afraid of what I might find on the other side of the couch, I slowly sat up, trying not to make a sound. Caleb was at the stove cooking what appeared to be scrambled eggs, although more eggs were on the stove than in the skillet. Unable to help myself, I laughed.

  He turned and grabbed the burnt toast from the toaster. “Hope you’re hungry,” he smiled.

  It was only eight in the morning. Did he always wake up this early and make breakfast? No, otherwise he would be able to manage the eggs and toast a little better.

  “Need—no, let me rephrase that—want any help?” I asked with another laugh.

  “I got it under control,” Caleb said, looking around the kitchen, proud of himself.

  I stood and folded the blankets someone had thrown over me in the night. Didn’t want to know who saw me sleeping. Actually, I wanted to go to the bathroom to make sure I looked decent.

  “I better get going.”

  “No you don’t. I’m not going through all this trouble for Justin or my mom.” He smiled wryly. “Besides,” Caleb continued, “you’re cute in the morning. You’re like the little sister I never had. Sit. Eat.” He came over and guided me to the kitchen table.

  I peered toward the stairs.

  “If you’re worried about Justin, he’s still asleep.”

  “Why would I be worried about him?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Caleb said knowingly. I couldn’t meet his eyes.

  A second later, Sarah entered wearing running clothes. She froze when she saw Caleb in the kitchen, her eyes huge. Perhaps she was concerned about who would be cleaning up the mess. There was a soft knock on the front door. Sarah yelled for the person to come in, and Kate entered carrying a box of doughnuts.

  She looked at me and mouthed, “Sorry.” I shrugged. Kate’s eyes were red and puffy. I guessed her night with Mike hadn’t gone well.

  “Justin,” Sarah said. “How nice of you to join us.”

  Sitting down at the table, I stole a peek at him. Oh my God. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. He slipped into the laundry room and came out a moment later wearing a navy blue T-shirt. I’m sure my face was bright red. I shoved Justin’s image into a locked box in my mind to open and examine in more detail later. When I was alone.

  Looking directly at me, Justin said, “Glad Kate had enough sense to bring doughnuts,” he coughed, sounding hoarse. “No one can ever eat that crap Caleb makes.” He sat down across from me, took a doughnut out of the box, and bit into it. Justin was still staring at me, waiting for some sort of reaction.

  I was stunned speechless. Had he seriously just talked to me?

  “What’s wrong with your voice?” Sarah asked. “You okay?”

  Caleb laughed. “Justin was rather vocal last night at the concert. He’s lucky he can talk at all.” Turning off the stove, Caleb gave up on breakfast and joined us at the table for doughnuts.

  “What’s on the agenda for today?” Sarah asked.

  “Surfing,” Caleb answered. “We’re going to the beach and meeting up with some friends.”

  “We should get going,” Justin said.

  Caleb looked at me and asked, “Want to come?”

  I was surprised the invitation was extended to me. The beach sounded like fun,
but there was no way I was going to go with the boys. Especially Justin. “I think it’s a little cold for me. Besides, I have homework.”

  “Cold?” Caleb chuckled. “Aren’t you from Pennsylvania? And it’s supposed to be in the low eighties today, plenty hot for the beach. Go get your stuff and we’ll meet you out front in twenty minutes.” Caleb sat there smiling at me. He crossed his arms and lifted his eyebrows, the challenge clear.

  I was about to come up with another excuse when Kate said, “Great idea! I have some errands to do today.”

  Lovely. Another conspiracy. I shot Kate a look, but she just smiled.

  Caleb drove us to La Jolla Shores. The beach started at the cliffs with multi-million-dollar homes and continued on for about a mile along the shore. It was lined with palm trees, and there were a ton of surfers in the water.

  After parking, we found a spot on the sand close to a volleyball net. Justin was back to not talking, and Caleb kept smiling or laughing—at what, I had no idea. I sat down on my towel while the boys pulled their shirts off and went straight into the water with their surfboards. I watched them paddle out and sit on their boards, talking—or arguing. After awhile, I lost interest and decided to read. I needed to reread A Tale of Two Cities before our test on Monday.

  It was warm and sunny, and I wanted to take advantage of it. However, I was wearing Kate’s bikini under my clothes, and I felt a little self-conscious. Even though I wasn’t a skeleton anymore and all the bruises were gone, I had issues with wearing so little clothing. Wearing a bikini was equivalent to wearing a bra and panties in public. And I didn’t want to be sitting there half naked for all the world to see. After thirty minutes, the boys were still in the water and I was hot. Looking around, I realized I was the only one in clothes—everyone else had a bathing suit on. I reluctantly took off my shirt. Then I lay down on my belly and continued to read while sunbathing.

  “My, my, little sister. Looking quite tempting,” Caleb laughed. I swung my head back in time to see Justin whack Caleb on the back of the head. Boys. I returned to my book while they each grabbed a towel and dried off. Caleb purposely laid his down about five feet away from me, with Justin standing between us. Having no choice, Justin sat down on his towel next to me.